Heart

by Higginson, Rachel

  There was a scent in the air that was both familiar and foreign. I couldn’t place it, but I felt like I should have recognized it. My nose tickled with memory while my brain argued that I had never smelled anything so exotic before.

  I immediately loved the scent and for that reason I hated it.

  I didn’t trusts gods or their oracles and I knew better than to blindly trust anything that had to do with them.

  I glanced over at Ryder, worried that he would be lulled into some kind of trance, but he seemed just as leery as I did.

  “He’s immune to all of us,” the gentle voice of the Oracle of Delphi explained as if reading my thoughts.

  I turned around to face her. Once again, I was hit with the sensation that this woman was intensely beautiful. There was something about her features that were so unnaturally exquisite, I knew I would never see another being like her again in my life.

  And yet, I couldn’t remember which of her features stood out or why I thought she was so uniquely lovely. The only thing I could remember about her was her eyes. It was the only feature that I could remember clearly. Her startling sapphire eyes seemed to see straight through me to all of the hidden places I worked so hard to keep secret. They held my gaze with an unwavering focus that unnerved me and yet calmed my frayed nerves at the same time.

  “What is that smell?” I asked cautiously. Ryder might be immune to everything, but that didn’t mean I was.

  “The herbs I use for my visions. It’s nothing to be nervous about,” she explained.

  Yeah, right.

  “What are we doing here?” Ryder asked. He reached out and slid his hand over my shoulder blades before dropping it to my waist and pulling me next to him. Possessive. Dominant. Protective. I felt each of Ryder’s emotions as if they were my own. He wasn’t giving me anything of himself in this move, but he was proving to the Greeks here that he would continue to protect me, that he would not let them touch me without his permission.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  Okay, that was a lie. I loved that he felt compelled to stand up for me. I loved that I wasn’t completely alone in this. After a year of truly being isolated and a lifetime of loneliness, having a partner stand beside me that would fight all of these battles with me was unquestionably one of the greatest feelings on the planet.

  But I was also confused. I had strong feelings for Ryder that had not lessened one bit during our time apart. In fact, I swore they had grown with a veracity that scared me. But I had left this man. I had abandoned him when he needed me most and treated him with disrespect I was embarrassed of. I didn’t deserve his affection. Not after everything I had done to him.

  Not after I had forced him out of my life and out of my heart.

  In fact, he’d spent an entire year thinking about how much he wanted nothing to do with me. How could I stand next to him, with his arm so tightly around my waist, and breathe through this guilt? How could I hope for a future with him, when he would never want anything to do with me after this? How could I let him touch me and still protect my heart from the inevitable destruction I knew he would bring when this was over?

  Assuming that this ended in a way that wasn’t with my death. Or his. Or my complete enslavement to Nix and his nefarious plans.

  I felt Hermes’ unwavering gaze on us as he watched Ryder’s affection. I couldn’t read his take on it though.

  I couldn’t tell what Della thought of it either, because whenever I looked at her I could only see her startling blue eyes and they were always trained so wholly on mine.

  “Business,” she murmured. “Let’s get down to business.” She moved and I felt, more than saw, the gesture to move to a sitting area that had simply appeared out of thin air.

  Or at least I thought it had. I hadn’t remembered seeing it there a second ago, but everything in this place seemed to happen with a confusing twist and my memories had a blurry edge to them. I wondered if I would even remember this place when I left it or if like Della’s indiscernible features, they would simply fade into a murky haze.

  Ryder kept his hand on the center of my back as we moved to a cluster of chaise lounges draped with silky coverings and buried in small pillows. Each piece of furniture had been so lavishly decorated they looked awkward with it. I had to shove several pillows out of the way to find room for my bum. And when I sat down, I perched rigidly at the edge so I wouldn’t be forced to lie down.

  Neither Della nor Hermes felt the same awkwardness. They both relaxed onto their settees as if that were the only way to sit. Ryder and I shared a look and I nearly laughed. I half-expected servant girls to rush over with platters full of grapes.

  Hermes was the perfect picture of how I’d imagined gods in the past. One of his arms draped languidly behind him, propping up his head, while his other fell over the edge to trace the lines of the tiles. He was a perfect dichotomy of aristocratic snobbery and lazy boredom.

  Della lay on her side with her head propped up by a hazy hand. She seemed to fade in and out of focus the longer we stayed here with her. Sometimes her features were so sharply in focus I wanted to jump back from their clarity, and other times she was hidden behind a veil of obscurity.

  I wondered if I would ever see her clearly. I wondered if I would ever see this entire thing clearly.

  “You’re going to have to go to Olympus,” Della started. “We need you there. It will be impossible to squash the uprising if you’re hiding.”

  “Nix, you mean?” I felt a trembling of fear rumble through me. It started in my toes and worked its way up my body with scarring impact.

  “Nix and Ares, Hades and the rest of my brothers that think they deserve unlimited power,” Hermes growled. “While Zeus is away, the Underworld has come out to play.”

  “Wait,” I held up my hand. “What do you mean Zeus is away? If he’s not on Olympus, then where is he?”

  Hermes turned his amber colored eyes on me and said, “Your guess is as good as ours.”

  “You don’t know where he is?” Ryder asked dryly.

  Hermes let out an impatient sigh, but Della covered for him. “He’s been gone for almost two decades now. Which is nothing new. Nobody thought anything of it, well, until you came along. Suddenly Poseidon sees that he can grab power and Zeus’ absence is more meaningful.”

  I stared at Hermes. “Why can’t you just zap yourself to him? Isn’t that why you exist?”

  “To fetch my older brother?” Hermes snorted a derisive laugh. “Hardly.”

  “We’re not going anywhere until we have more details,” Ryder cut in. “It’s time to stop holding back and tell us what the hell is going on.”

  Della smiled. Or, I got the feeling that she smiled. I heard it clearly in her voice when she looked at Ryder and said, “He’s going to save your life, Siren.”

  “But why am I going to save her life,” Ryder pressed. “What is the point of all of this?”

  “Zeus left the mountain nineteen years ago and nobody has been able to get ahold of him since. Hera hasn’t heard from him. He has not checked in. He has not made himself known in humanity. Nineteen years is not so long for those of us from the mountain and under normal circumstances we would not have cause for any alarm. But then…”

  “Then me,” I finished for him. “So I really am different than other Sirens?”

  Hermes’s eyebrows lifted and he didn’t bother to answer my question. “Poseidon has taken the opportunity to gather the more depraved of my brothers and sisters and incite a coup. Poseidon has always envied the seat of power. He’s been plotting to overthrow Zeus for as long as I can remember. And he’s not the only one. Hades and especially Ares have wanted the throne for just as long, if not longer. Now that they have their weapon, they will stop at nothing until Olympus belongs to one of them.”

  “What about Hera?” Ryder asked with a surprising amount of insight. He must have noticed my surprise because he shrugged one shoulder and explained, “I told you, I’ve been re
ading up on this thing. I don’t know how much of what I’ve read is accurate, but it’s highlighted the major players.”

  Hermes smiled at him, “I like that… the major players. It’s true, your human account of our history is skeletal at best, but if you pay close attention you’ll be able to get the gist of what and who we are.”

  Selfish, greedy, petty, incestuous bastards? I pressed my lips together to keep that thought from slipping out.

  “Hera resides over the mountain whilst Zeus is gone,” Della answered Ryder’s question. “But Zeus has been missing for too long and he’s thought to have hidden himself in the human realm. Possibly surrounded himself by females. She is, understandably, incensed. If a play for power was made, we are not sure whom she would side with.”

  “How does one take a mountain?” I asked.

  Della and Hermes shared a meaningful look. I scooted closer to Ryder, suddenly afraid of their answer.

  “With power,” Hermes finally answered. “Our hierarchy has always tiered from most powerful to least. Zeus has historically been the most powerful among us, although occasionally Hera has superseded him. When Olympus lost control of the human race, Zeus happened to be the one at the top of the food chain. He’s remained there ever since and because not one of us has been able to collect more power, he’s never been challenged.”

  This was definitely a fascinating conversation, but I still had no idea what I had to do with any of it. “How do you collect power?”

  “Patronage,” Della answered. “Whichever god has the strongest patronage holds the most power. It might seem strange to you, but their strength is pulled from humans. In ancient days the gods derived power from the temples made in their honor. They had entire cities that would worship them. Priests and priestesses to offer sacrifices in their honor. Their power was nearly unlimited. These days… worship of the gods is nearly obsolete, but the world is bigger than ever. If a god could tap into that type of power, imagine what kind of omnipotence would be at his fingertips.”

  “You mean that Nix wants humans to worship him again?” I nearly laughed. That was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. Greek mythology was just that these days… mythology. Humans were way too cynical to jump on board with the idea of a Pantheon of gods and goddesses to worship. I tried to picture all of the people I knew building a temple to the god of the sea and bowing down in worship to someone as awful as Nix. “There’s no way! Maybe he could convince a few crazies to pay him homage, but the majority of people these days would laugh in his face.”

  “But he has a weapon, Ivy,” Della explained carefully. “He won’t be the one that convinces them to do anything.”

  I let out a slow breath. The humor died on my lips and I felt my blood slowly turn to sludge in my veins. “What is it, Della? What is the weapon?”

  One whispered word brought everything into sharp focus for me. It all made sense. Everything. I finally understood the big deal with me and why Nix wanted my power so very desperately.

  “You,” she breathed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Me?” The word fell from my mouth like a stone.

  “You’re right when you say that no one will pick up the Pantheon like a religion again,” Hermes offered. “This humanity would never answer to one god, let alone an entire mountain of them. Not if they were thinking for themselves anyway. With you, he can bypass original thought and simply have you tell them what to do, what to believe, who to worship.”

  “Oh, my god.” I felt sick to my stomach. He wanted to use my Siren call to manipulate humanity into worshipping him? So he could have unlimited power? Not a chance in hell. “I don’t even have that kind of power! I mean, the most damage I’ve ever done was like a one block radius and I seriously gave it my all.”

  “You gave it your all on dry land,” Della corrected.

  My blood tingled ominously. The water whispered its Siren Song and I had to fight the urge to go to it, to sink my feet in the wet sand and let the water lap at my ankles. There was power there. There was more power than I knew what to do with.

  “I only have an effect on men,” I argued. “Women would see through me in a second.”

  “Ivy, you’ve never used your power in water before. You have no idea what you’re capable of.” Della’s glittering blue eyes muted with sorrow.

  I stood up and stumbled away from them. “Neither do you. You have no idea what I’m capable of. This is all… all theory. I don’t know why Nix feels that I’m any more valuable than other Sirens, but I’m not. I’m the same. And it doesn’t matter anyway, because there’s no way that he can make me do that. He can’t make me turn on humanity or manipulate them into worshiping him. I would die first.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that, Ivy,” Della said patiently. “But we’re hoping to avoid that. If we plan this properly, we can stop him before you have to make that decision.”

  “But it’s not just Nix we have to stop, is it?” Ryder growled. “There are plenty of other gods willing to step in when he fails. Ivy will never be safe.”

  “Not all of my brothers and sisters want the throne,” Hermes grimaced. “Plenty of us are happy to let Zeus, when he’s around, keep his precious seat. But yes, there will always be someone who thinks they can restore our old power.” He shot us a cheeky smile. “What can I say? We’re an opportunistic bunch.”

  I rolled my eyes, but relaxed some. “So how do we do this? How do we take him out?”

  “We have to be on the mountain,” Hermes explained. “We have relatively no power anywhere else. If we are going to fight him, we need to be where we’re strongest.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip until I tasted blood. “I’ll be strongest there too?”

  Della cocked her head and regarded me carefully, “No, you will always be strongest in water.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “There’s no water on the mountain?”

  “Not enough to destroy a god,” Hermes muttered.

  Point taken.

  “What about my mother?” I turned back to Della. “What do the Fates want with her?”

  Della let out a bitter laugh. “Those old crones are more interested in the future than the present. They’re playing the odds that Poseidon loses.”

  “What does that mean?” Ryder demanded. “What does Ava have to do with any of that?”

  “Ava has managed to procreate two of the strongest powers of this time. They want her blood.” Hermes’ explanation was accented with a flick of his hand.

  “Her blood?” I asked on a croak.

  “Her next child.” Hermes sprung up to sitting. “They want whatever she can spawn.”

  No. Not another one of us. “Who is the father going to be?”

  “There are rumors that Phorcys has offered his seed.”

  “Oh, gross. Let’s phrase that any other way,” I suggested.

  Hermes tried to hide his smile. “Alright, he has offered to father the monster. And we would know it would be nothing but a monster. He has a bit of a reputation for his hideous children.”

  “Do you think it’s possible? Do you really think Ava can have another child?” I hated the idea of another person going through what I had. And this sounded a thousand times worse. This little girl would be property of the Fates. They would destroy her. They would rip her to shreds and sacrifice her for their own power grab.

  “Yes,” Della said immediately. “They can and will create something for their pleasure. Ava is their vessel to do with what they want.”

  “Shouldn’t we stop them?” My voice shook as hard as my insides.

  “We can only fight one battle at a time,” Hermes scolded. “Besides intervening with their plan takes more thought. We’ll need more resourcefulness when that time comes. But rest assured if Ava manages to birth such a creature, we will destroy it. There are several years before the Fates can do any real harm. We must focus on the worst and most immediate of the threats.”

  The shaking inside of me turned
to tremors. Hermes would kill a baby? He would destroy a child if he had to?

  I closed my eyes. But what kind of creature would come from my mom and Phorcys. If I remembered my history right, his other children had been sea monsters. He was one of the primordial gods. He came from the deepest places of the ocean, the dark, hidden recesses that not even Nix would venture to.

  “Is Honor in danger?” I asked in a small voice.

  Della’s gaze hit mine and I blinked from the brightness of it. “She will always be in danger,” she said honestly. “But right now she’s safe.”

  “And by safe you mean…”

  “I can’t find her. And if I can’t find her, nobody else can either.”

  I nodded and sucked in a slow breath. I knew Smith would keep her safe. I had never doubted him.

  Smith… I had a very strong suspicion about him, but I didn’t want to voice it just yet. Instinct whispered that this was not the right time. And I could be wrong.

  I turned away from Della and Hermes and tried to gather my thoughts. Could I do this with them? Could I go to the mountain and destroy a god?

  What if he destroyed me instead?

  Ryder stepped beside me and his presence calmed the frantic panic inside of my chest. “We need to talk about this,” he told our audience. “Alone.”

  “Of course,” Della said softly.

  I heard Hermes grumble something impatiently, but I ignored him as I let Ryder lead me away from the pavilion. We stepped back onto the sand and carefully picked our way toward the beach.

  We were quiet as we walked. The sun warmed my skin that had cooled under the shade of the golden awnings. The smell of sea and salt filled my nostrils and reinforced my courage.

  I looked out at the endless blue water that sparkled like jewels beneath the blinding sun and infinite horizon and breathed deeply.

  “It really does call to you?” Ryder sounded pensive beside me. I wondered if he was as afraid of my power as Hermes was.