Heart

by Higginson, Rachel

  “With every beat of my heart,” I whispered.

  “Then let’s go to it. Let’s see if it gives us any answers.”

  I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. “You’re not afraid?”

  “Of you?” he laughed. “You don’t want to hurt me, Ivy. At least not intentionally.”

  I looked back out at the water and let his words hit hard. He was right. I didn’t want to hurt him intentionally, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t.

  I had just glimpsed what I was capable of.

  I could easily kill him. I knew that in my bones.

  He was in shorts already, so near the edge of the water, he slipped off his sandals, grabbed my hand and led me in to the warm, clear water.

  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. With my long skirt gathered in my free hand and my other hand gripped tightly in Ryder’s, the ocean waters pushed against my legs and sunk into my skin. I felt at peace for the first time in days.

  I felt whole, completely and absolutely, for the first time in my entire life.

  I felt home.

  I felt loved.

  I felt alive.

  “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.” Ryder’s gravelly voice pulled me out of my blissful silence.

  I opened my eyes to find him watching me. Choosing to be obtuse, I looked back toward the white-topped waves and smiled. “I’m partial to it too.”

  “You, Ivy. You are beauty.” His hand squeezed mine and I felt the physical loss when he tore his gaze from mine and stared down at the water. “You know, for a while, after you left, I was convinced that you had cursed me after all. It felt like I couldn’t move without you. I felt suffocated… I felt like I was drowning. I swore that you had infected me, that it was your fault that I felt like that. What we had was real, Red. I would have done anything for you. I hate that you ruined it. But I get it now. After today or yesterday or whatever hell day, I get it. This world you’re from is so screwed up. I don’t know how to keep you safe from it.”

  Tears pricked at my eyes and I tried not to completely break down in front of him. “I don’t think you can keep me safe from it. I think it’s going to come after me no matter what I do.”

  “Then what do you want me to do? Say it, Ivy. I’ll do it. Tell me what you want to do, we’ll do it.”

  “Just stay with me,” I pleaded. “Don’t leave me like I left you.”

  He tugged on my hand until I turned to face him, then with his free hand he cupped my jaw tenderly. I couldn’t meet his gaze, but he didn’t ask me to. “I won’t,” he promised. “I won’t leave you. No matter what happens.”

  I licked my dry lips and felt the water respond at my feet. Hope swelled inside of me and the water swirled around us with increasing strength. I felt the buzz of power at my fingertips and a connection to the ocean that stretched as far as it did.

  Ryder stumbled into me. His hand fell to my shoulder to steady himself, but I had never felt more grounded. The waves pushed us together aggressively until he was forced to hold on to me, until his arms wrapped around my waist and his chest pressed against mine.

  “Are you doing this on purpose?” he shouted over the rush of the water and the spray of sea foam.

  I smiled at him. “Aren’t you having fun?” He rocked to the side, but I kept my footing.

  His hands splayed over my hips and his heart beat rapidly against mine. He dropped his head until we were just a breath apart. “I’m having fun,” he murmured.

  I stared up into his gray eyes and got lost in their infinite depth. My heartbeat quickened and I prepared for the taste of his lips against mine.

  Only it never came.

  A wave taller than Ryder came out of nowhere and crashed against us. This time I couldn’t hold on, I felt the full force of it. My feet slipped from underneath me and while I still clutched onto Ryder, we toppled into the current and tumbled in the strength of the water.

  We held onto each other while the saltwater pushed us under the surface and tried to keep us there. Our wet hands started to slide apart. I reached for Ryder, desperate to keep our connection. His hands were there waiting for me, holding onto me, never letting me go.

  We broke the surface together, both of us gasping for breath and shaking the water out of our eyes. We kept our hands linked and swam for shore, awkwardly breaking through the waves closest to the beach. We flopped onto the sand with huge grins on our faces.

  I lay back on the cool, wet sand and blinked up at the white sky. I tried to catch my breath and soak in this one moment. Ryder’s shoulder pressed into mine and our clasped hands lay across his stomach. Our wet clothes clung to our sticky bodies. My lips were salty from the water and my eyes stung, but I wanted to live in this moment forever. I wanted to remember Ryder next to me. I wanted to never let go of this easiness.

  I felt the shift in the air, the charge of electricity signaling the impending storm. I could sense the quiet stillness just before chaos broke and destruction reigned.

  Olympus was close. I felt it in my bones. When I got up from this beach, we would leave for the mountain and I would have to face a coliseum of gods that wanted to use me for their gain and abuse my curse. I would have to face my biggest fears and my worst nightmares.

  I would face real life monsters and gods so depraved and insidious they made the hairs on my arm stand on end and my stomach churn.

  I would have to be someone that I was not. I would have to be courageous. I would have to be confident. I would have to be the opposite of their evil.

  I let my head roll to the side so I could look at Ryder’s profile. His eyes were closed and his lips were just slightly parted. The sun burst from over the contours of his face like an explosion of light. I blinked against his beauty and thought that maybe he was the one that had cursed me.

  I had never known anything better than Ryder Sutton. No things or people or souls were better than this man. He had captured every piece of me. He owned whatever it was that made me up. He owned it completely.

  He might not love me anymore, but I would never stop loving him. I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to.

  I had only ever been sure about two things my entire life. I had always known that I would never let Nix control me. I had known that for as long as I had known anything. And now Ryder.

  I knew that I loved him. I knew that he was the only man I would ever love.

  I knew that I would love him for the rest of my life, with every breath I breathed, with every beat of my black heart.

  And that was enough for me.

  Even if I wanted more, I could live with this. I could live knowing how to love this much, this completely. I could live for the rest of eternity just loving this man and giving everything I had to give to him. Because he was worth loving.

  Because he was worthy.

  He slowly turned his head to look at me and gave me a crooked grin. “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I whispered. “Just thinking.”

  “About Olympus?” He had to squint to see me clearly, even though our faces were close.

  “No,” I told him honestly. “Not about Olympus.”

  “Red, if you want to run away right now, I’ll go with you. You don’t have to do this. They don’t own you. Not one of them gets a say in your life, but you. Yeah?”

  “Ryder, if I don’t do this now, these people will hunt me until the day I die. If I’m honest, I just want to get it out of the way. I want to finish this and move on with my life.”

  He smiled at me, “I like the sound of that. I’d like to never have to worry about these assholes ever again.”

  I grinned too. “Then let’s go kill some gods.”

  He jumped to his feet before helping me get to mine. The sand stuck to our bodies from head to feet as we made our way back to Della’s pavilion. The sun warmed our cold skin and dried some of the sand, but the salt water had made everything stick and rub uncomfortably.

  It was the best feeling.


  Hermes eyebrows disappeared into his hairline when we walked back into the pavilion. “What happened?” He choked on a laugh.

  “The sea wanted to put Ivy in her place,” Ryder explained. “She started to get cocky out there. The water just wanted to remind her who was still boss.”

  All of the humor disappeared from Hermes’ face and he demanded, “You went into the water with her? Are you insane?”

  Ryder’s lips tipped upward into a very smug smile. “She doesn’t want to kill me, man. I have nothing to worry about.”

  “You say that, but…”

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t stand near a puddle with her. But, I’m safe. You should know that. I’m very safe.”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. Ryder was right.

  “I’m not taking her while she’s wet.” Hermes spun around to Della, his arm swinging wide.

  “I have some clothes,” Della explained patiently. “And fresh water if you’d like to rinse off. You’ll need to be more presentable for Hera. She will be a tough sell, Siren. You need to look your best.”

  “I always look my best,” I grumbled. “It’s part of the curse.”

  “Gift,” she hummed. “It’s part of your gift. Come on child, you have a mountain to storm today. No more frolicking in the water.”

  I followed Della as she walked away, only turning back to grin at Ryder. He shot me an amused wink, but I saw the flash of apprehension he tried to hide. We’d been alone out in the water, but reality had caught up with as already.

  Olympus loomed and we stood at her gates, waiting with revenge and destruction. I would fight her to the death. I would fight her tooth and nail, until I couldn’t fight anymore.

  I would fight bravely and without reprieve.

  And then Ryder and I would walk away and never look back again.

  Or we would die trying.

  Chapter Fourteen

  An hour later, Della had worked some kind of magic on me. My skin was clean, my hair was styled and I had been dressed in traditional Olympus garb- which was exactly what you would expect.

  My white gown tied over one shoulder and left my other bare. It cinched around an empire waist and flowed in airy folds of voluminous fabric over my toes. My feet were dressed up in gold gladiator sandals that wrapped around my big toe and all the way up my calves to just below my knee. Gold bangles adorned my wrists and a thick gold cuff hugged both of my biceps. Della had also woven golden thread that was so pure it looked liquid, through my heavy hair that she’d piled on top of my head.

  When she showed me what I looked like, I was left speechless. She had dressed me up like a goddess. I had never looked more Greek than in this moment. I had never looked more a part of the Pantheon than now.

  I hated everything about it, no matter how beautiful it made me.

  “When you go,” she said softly, standing behind me in the full length mirror that had appeared out of nowhere, “this is your greatest weapon.” She swept her hand down the length of me, indicating my beauty. “He will try to use it against you. They all will. But if you are in control of who you are, then no one can control you.”

  My heart picked up speed at her insight. I nodded once, feeling the slightest softening to her.

  “Thank you,” I told her. “I feel like you’ve prepared me to go to war.”

  Her incandescent blue eyes sparked with light. “That is exactly what I’ve done.”

  She turned away from me and her features immediately faded from my memory. I shook my head and followed her back to the sitting area. Evening light warmed the pretty space, giving it a burnished glow.

  I walked into the room and tripped over my sandals. My big toe dragged across the smooth ground and I nearly face-planted.

  Ryder sat on the edge of one of the ottomans, with his elbows propped on his knees. His hair had been somewhat tamed with product. His muscular arms were bared, his tattoos on full display. His calves were also exposed and his feet had been covered in leather sandals that were not that different than mine.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off him, I couldn’t even think beyond the dark look on his face and the amount of skin he had been forced to show.

  “Don’t laugh,” he growled.

  I tried not to. “You’re wearing a toga!”

  “I didn’t have a choice,” Ryder mumbled. He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. His toga was similar to mine, in that it clasped over one shoulder and left the other uncovered. Unlike mine though, that was designed to accentuate my feminine features, Ryder’s draped in heavy folds that mostly exposed his toned chest and back. The bottom half hung to his knees and the waist was tied with a gold chain belt.

  I pressed my lips together to hide my smile.

  Hermes walked into the room wearing something very similar to Ryder. He plopped down on the settee and threw his arm over the low back. “In our glory days, we lived naked.” His indolent gaze hit Ryder with defensive accusation. Hermes raised his eyebrows. “Maybe you would prefer that?”

  Ryder glared at him. “I’m good with this.”

  “Did the girls go naked too?” I asked, trying to imagine a mountain full of naked gods.

  Hermes shrugged, “Of course. We had nothing to hide.”

  “That explains the incest,” Ryder concluded under his breath.

  “You need to go,” Della encouraged. “The longer she stays away, the deeper into turmoil the mountain falls.”

  I didn’t know what I could do about the turmoil. I figured I was going to cause more problems than I fixed, but Della’s insistence had to mean something.

  I looked to Ryder and met his concentrated gaze. He stood up slowly, power and determination radiating off his tall form. My mouth went dry at the sight of him.

  His white toga contrasted enticingly with his olive skin. His dark hair, pushed out of his face, showed off his sharp cheek bones and masculine brow. The air around him seemed to shift and shimmer. He looked beyond his eighteen years. He looked more than human.

  He looked like a god.

  When he reached out his hand, I took it without a second thought. There had been a thousand things running through my head, a thousand emotions beating against my heart and rushing through my blood, there had been a thousand thoughts to distract my mind from my purpose, from this fate I willingly walked into.

  Until Ryder’s palm pressed against mine. That one small gesture quieted every turbulent thing inside of me until I could breathe normally.

  For so long I had felt suffocated. First from my mother and Nix, then from the future that looked so bleak, and most recently from my loneliness. My entire life could be summed up with the need to breathe.

  And yet I had been searching for it in all the wrong places.

  When I couldn’t find the ability to inhale within myself, Ryder gave it to me. When my doubts, insecurities and fears clouded every rational thought, Ryder brought me back to center.

  “Ready for this?” he asked in a low voice.

  I answered him honestly. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “I’m ready,” Hermes announced.

  Ryder and I both ignored him. Ryder stepped into me, his chest brushed against mine and he dipped his head until his lips were at my ear. “We’re doing this together, Red. Live or die, fight or flee, we stick together.”

  I wet my dry lips and nodded. “Okay,” I whispered. “Together.”

  Hermes cleared his throat and we stepped apart.

  “Will I see you again?” I asked the Oracle of Delphi as Ryder and I took our places next to Hermes.

  She gave a vague shrug, “Only time will tell if the mountain will become safe for me.”

  I didn’t have time to ask what she meant. I opened my mouth, but Hermes’ hand landed on my shoulder. One second I was on a tropical island, the very next, a blast of ice cold air punched me in the face.

  My question turned into gasping stutters. It took my several more seconds to open my eyes against the violent wind.
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  When I finally pried my eyes open I found that we were on the very top of a mountain. Thick snow blanketed the ground in every direction, crystalized on top from the hypothermic temperatures.

  We happened to be standing on the only piece of clear ground and I knew it was not a coincidence I hadn’t landed thigh-deep in frozen snow.

  In fact, this small area seemed to be a landing pad of sorts. The perfect circle revealed the rocky stone surface of the mountain. While every other direction seemed to head straight down, the spot leveled out just enough to give us a safe place to stand.

  When they called Olympus a mountain, they were not kidding.

  I still gripped Ryder’s hand with mine. I had just decided that we should flee. I wasn’t going to fight a battle in these conditions. Call me shallow or flakey or not exactly dedicated to this cause, but this was ridiculous.

  I turned around at Ryder’s urging and stopped feeling the cold because I’d clearly slipped into shock.

  I had been staring down at the rock and granite that made Olympus a mountain, but when I turned around to look up, I came face-to-face with Olympus the city.

  Golden gates stood as guards against unwanted visitors. Their thick bars twined together to make an impenetrable, yet delicate façade. The gilded pieces looked like lace set against the stone of the mountain they were built directly into.

  When Hermes took a step forward the doors to the city swung wide and seemed to glow with acceptance. He tossed a smug smile over his shoulder and stepped into the ancient city.

  Ryder and I followed him, our mouths hanging wide and our fingers clutched tightly together. I felt the heat as soon as we stepped through the threshold. The icy cold disappeared completely, only to be replaced with an energizing heat I swear I could feel in my bones.

  Instead of relaxing from the change, I only felt more nervous.

  A road lay out before us, climbing to the very pinnacle of the mountain. It sparkled with the whitest limestone I had ever seen and curved from side to side in a winding, scenic path.