“That’s all very well,” said the demon, hefting the scythe, “but why not try to see things from my point of view? This means a lot to me, and you’ve got to admit that your life isn’t all that wonderful. Reincarnation can only be an improvement—uh.”
His hand flew to his mouth but Rincewind was already pointing a trembling finger at him.
“Reincarnation!” he said excitedly. “So it is true what the mystics say!”
“I’m admitting nothing,” said Scrofula testily. “It was a slip of the tongue. Now—are you going to die willingly or not?”
“No,” said Rincewind.
“Please yourself,” replied the demon. He raised the scythe. It whistled down in quite a professional way, but Rincewind wasn’t there. He was in fact several meters below, and the distance was increasing all the time, because the branch had chosen that moment to snap and send him on his interrupted journey toward the interstellar gulf.
“Come back!” screamed the demon.
Rincewind didn’t answer. He was lying belly down in the rushing air, staring down into the clouds that even now were thinning.
They vanished.
Below, the whole universe twinkled at Rincewind. There was Great A’Tuin, huge and ponderous and pocked with craters. There was the little Disc moon. There was a distant gleam that could only be the Potent Voyager. And there were all the stars, looking remarkably like powdered diamonds spilled on black velvet, the stars that lured and ultimately called the boldest toward them…
The whole of Creation was waiting for Rincewind to drop in.
He did so.
There didn’t seem to be any alternative.
About the Author
Terry Pratchett lives in England, an island off the coast of France, where he spends his time writing Discworld novels in accordance with the Very String Anthropic Principle, which holds that the entire Purpose of the Universe is to make possible a being that will live in England, an island off the coast of France, and spend his time writing Discworld novels. Which is exactly what he does. Which proves the whole business true. Any questions?
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Unanimous Praise For Terry Pratchett
“For lighthearted escape with a thoughtful center, you can’t do better than…any…Discworld novel.”
—Washington Post Book World
“If I were making my list of Best Books of the Twentieth Century, Terry Pratchett’s would be most of them.”
—Elizabeth Peters
“Consistently, inventively mad…wild and wonderful!”
—Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine
“Simply the best humorous writer of the twentieth century.”
—Oxford Times
“A brilliant story—teller with a sense of humour…whose infectious fun completely engulfs you…The Dickens of the twentieth century.”
—Mail on Sunday (London)
“If you are unfamiliar with Pratchett’s unique blend of philosophical badinage interspersed with slapstick, you are on the threshold of a mind—expanding opportunity.”
—Financial Times (London)
“If you don’t know Pratchett and Discworld, you’ve got a treat in store.”
—Jerry Pournelle
“The funniest parodist working in the field today, period.”
—New York Review of Science Fiction
“Pratchett demonstrates just how great the distance is between one-or two-joke writers and the comic masters whose work will be read into the next century.”
—Locus
“Terry Pratchett is fast, funny and going places. Try him!”
—Piers Anthony
“As always he is head and shoulders above the best of the rest. He is screamingly funny. He is wise. He has style.”
—Daily Telegraph (London)
“Pratchett is a comic genius.”
—Express (London)
“Pratchett is as funny as Wodehouse and as witty as Waugh.”
—Independent (London)
“Terry Pratchett does for fantasy what Douglas Adams did for science fiction.”
—Today (Great Britain)
”What makes Terry Pratchett’s fantasies so entertaining is that their humour depends on the characters first, on the plot second, rather than the other way around. The story isn’t there simply to lead from one slapstick pratfall to another pun. Its humour is genuine and unforced.”
—Ottawa Citizen
”Terry Pratchett ought to be locked in a padded cell. And forced to write a book a month.”
—Barbara Michaels
“Terry Pratchett is more than a magician. He is the kindest, most fascinating teacher you ever had.”
—Harlan Ellison
“It is his unexpected insights into human mortality that make the Discworld series stand out.”
—Times Literary Supplement (London)
“Quite probably the funniest living author, bar nobody.”
—Good Book Guide (England)
“Delightful…Logically illogical as only Terry Pratchett can write.”
—Anne McCaffrey
BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT
The Carpet People
The Dark Side of the Sun
Strata · Truckers
Diggers · Wings
Only You Can Save Mankind
Johnny and the Dead · Johnny and the Bomb
The Unadulterated Cat (with Gray Jollife)
Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman)
THE DISCWORLD® SERIES:
Going Postal · Monstrous Regiment · Night Watch
The Last Hero · The Truth · Thief of Time
The Fifth Elephant · Carpe Jugulum
The Last Continent · Jingo
Hogfather · Feet of Clay · Maskerade
Interesting Times · Soul Music · Men at Arms
Lords and Ladies · Small Gods
Witches Abroad · Reaper Man
Moving Pictures · Eric (with Josh Kirby)
Guards! Guards! · Pyramids
Wyrd Sisters · Sourcery · Mort · Equal Rites
The Light Fantastic · The Color of Magic
Mort: A Discworld Big Comic (with Graham Higgins)
The Streets of Ankh-Morpork (with Stephen Briggs)
The Discworld Companion (with Stephen Briggs)
The Discworld Mapp (with Stephen Briggs)
The Pratchett Portfolio (with Paul Kidby)
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
THE COLOR OF MAGIC. Copyright © 2007 by Terry Pratchett. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Microsoft Reader February 2007 ISBN 978-0-06-136747-2
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* The shape and cosmology of the disc system are perhaps worthy of note at this point.
There are, of course, two major directions on the disc: hubward and rimward. But since the disc itself revolves at the rate of once every eight hundred days (in order to distribute the weight fairly upon its supportive pachyderms, according to Reforgule of Krull) there are also two lesser directions, which are Turnwise and Widdershins.
Since the disc’s tiny orbiting sunlet maintains a fixed orbit while the majestic disc turns slowly beneath it, it will be readily deduced that a disc year consists of not four but eight seasons. The summers are those times when the sun rises or sets at the nearest point on the Rim, the winters those occasions when it rises or sets at a point around ninety degrees along the circumference.
Thus, in the lands around the Circle Sea, the year begins on Hogs’ Watch Night, progresses through a Spring Prime to its first midsummer (Small Gods’ Eve) which is followed by Autumn Prime and, straddling the half-year point of Crueltide, Winter Secundus (also known as the Spindlewinter, since at this time the sun rises in the direction of spin). Then comes Secundus Spring with Summer Two on its heels, the three quarter mark of the year being the night of Alls Fallow—the one night of the year, according to legend, when witches and warlocks stay in bed. Then drifting leaves and frosty nights drag on toward Backspindlewinter and a new Hogs’ Watch Night nestling like a frozen jewel at its heart.
Since the Hub is never closely warmed by the weak sun the lands there are locked in permafrost. The Rim, on the other hand, is a region of sunny islands and balmy days.
There are, of course, eight days in a disc week and eight colors in its light spectrum. Eight is a number of some considerable occult significance on the disc and must never, ever, be spoken by a wizard.
Precisely why all the above should be so is not clear, but goes some way to explain why, on the disc, the Gods are not so much worshipped as blamed.
The Colour of Magic Page 22
