I knew she wanted me to start talking.
“You promised,” she pressed.
I sighed, putting my fork down. “Mom wanted to let me know that Jayce was let out.”
Her eyes widened in shock. I just nodded.
“Oh, Ash…”
I waved it off. “It’s not just that. I mean, I was really pissed off because he’s free to do whatever he wants and Bryn can’t. But there’s more. Mom said that he’s coming to school…here.”
Her jaw unhinged a little.
I closed my eyes and let out a small sigh. “I lost it, Tara. It’s bad enough he’s free at home, doing whatever he damn well pleases. But coming here? Coming to the one place I can escape that part of my life? It’s not fair.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not.”
“But there’s nothing they can do about it,” I continued, poking the tongs of my fork into my eggs.
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”
I shrugged.
“Do you know when he’s starting? I mean there’s a good chance that he won’t start this semester since it already started.”
She had a point, but I wasn’t that lucky.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “You’re right, he may have to start in the fall. I just know that his father has connections here and he had a full scholarship for the baseball team. If they think he’ll catch up, he can still get in. Most professors won’t have an issue as long as he can catch up in class.”
She didn’t say anything, because she knew that Jayce had unnervingly good luck. He got pretty much anything he wanted, and when he didn’t he found a way to ensure he was still satisfied with the results.
“Can we not talk about it anymore?” I asked quietly.
“Of course.”
I gave her a small smile to show her my gratitude, before returning to my breakfast. My appetite was barely there, but since I hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, I knew I had to at least eat this.
Our girl’s day didn’t really turn out the way I’d hoped it would. Whenever Tara wasn’t looking, I hobbled my way to a new area so she wouldn’t worry about my knee, but it was getting hard to sneak around without her seeing the pain I was in.
And honestly, the pain was getting unbearable.
I used my love for ice cream as an excuse for her to get the Ben and Jerry’s carton from the freezer, using the cool carton on my knee like I was casually setting it there. It didn’t really help though, and the weight of anything on my knee just made it hurt more.
During our second movie, Tara moved a pillow so it was out of her way, but she accidently hit my bad knee in the process. She jumped when I yelped out when the throw pillow made contact with me, and tears streamed down my face before I could stop them.
“Oh, my God! Are you okay?” she squeaked, jumping off the couch.
I bit down on my lower lip hard, trying to contain myself. If I wasn’t careful, I’d start drawing blood.
“Ashley, how is your knee? Really?”
I looked at her through blurry eyes. “I…I think I need to go to the hospital,” I admitted.
She nodded quickly, grabbing the keys from the counter. “Are you going to be able to make it down the stairs? I’m pretty sure the elevator is still out of order.”
I groaned. I hated taking the stairs as it was, but now was not a good time for the elevator to not be repaired.
Tara took my response as a no.
“I can call Blair and see if Nate is free to come over,” she suggested. She scrunched her nose. “But he’s probably working, which mean we’d have to wait and we shouldn’t wait.”
I had to agree with her there. “What about Ezra?”
“That was my next suggestion. I just wasn’t sure if it was okay since he came over last night while you were…indecent.”
I had to giggle. “I didn’t mind him seeing me naked, Tara. I just wish he saw me in a better state. It wasn’t one of my better nights.”
She smirked. “There’s the Ashley I know and question.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can you go see if he’s there?”
She nodded and went toward the door. She looked at me and said, “Don’t move ’til I get back.”
I eyed her. “Kind of don’t have a choice.”
She just shrugged as she walked across the hall.
It didn’t take long for her to come back with Ezra following close behind her. She grabbed my winter jacket from the hook near the door, followed by my boots that were stacked on the mat.
Ezra kneeled down in front of me, wrapping his hand around my right ankle. His touch was gentle, and his eyes were asking for permission to move my pant leg up so he could get a better look.
I nodded and looked away, not wanting to see his reaction when he saw how bad it really was.
Tara gasped. “Ashley! How long has your knee looked like that?”
“Since I woke up,” I admitted.
Ezra sighed. “How bad is the pain? On a scale from one to ten.”
I snorted. “What are you a doctor now?”
He deadpanned. “Enlighten me.”
“Twelve.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, helping me get my boots on without irritating my ankle. Once they were on, he helped me slip on my jacket like my arms weren’t working either. I didn’t mind though.
Tara grabbed her car keys, but Ezra shook his head and picked me up like I weighed nothing. “I’ll drive.”
Protesting, I said, “You don’t have to do—”
“I’m driving,” he all but growled.
I pressed my lips together as we made our way downstairs. Mrs. Meyer was walking into the building with her cat carrier in her right hand. As soon as she saw us, her eyes narrowed.
Before she could say anything, I said, “I swear to all that is holy, Mrs. Meyer if you warn me away from your stupid cat one more time…”
Tara suppressed a giggle as Mrs. Meyer’s jaw twitched like she was going to say something. From the carrier, I heard a small meow, and knew it was Fluffy trying to stir something up.
Stupid cats.
Stupid Mrs. Meyer.
Ezra wasted no time to get me into the front seat of his pickup truck, which was bright red and jacked up. If he hadn’t of picked me up and put me in it, I’d probably have trouble getting in myself. He reached across me, taking me by surprise by his closeness, and reached for the seatbelt.
“You know I can buckle myself.”
He flashed me a lazy smile. “I know, but it’s more fun when I do it.”
My heart beat a little faster in my chest as his hands lingered on the belt that was across my chest. He gave me one last look before making sure the belt was in place and then closing the door. He quickly jogged around the truck and jumped into the driver’s seat.
“Thanks for this,” I told him, leaning back in the seat. I looked around the basic interior. The seats were made of some sort of black material, and the dash and outline of the windows were all the same color. There weren’t many buttons or gadgets like most newer vehicles had, so I assumed this was an older model. It reminded me of my father’s work truck. Plain and simple.
“Happy to help,” he told me. “I told you last night that I’d help you when you needed it.”
I leaned my head against the cool glass window.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner about your knee?” Tara asked from the back.
“I don’t know.”
I pictured her rolling her eyes.
“You should have listened to me last night,” Ezra informed me with no emotion etched into his words.
“Well I didn’t,” I returned. “Moving on.”
“Are you afraid of doctors?” he pressed, because clearly dismissing the conversation wasn’t going to work for him.
“I’m not afraid of them.” And I wasn’t. But who really liked doctors? Anytime you saw one, it usually meant something was wrong.
“So why were you so insistent on not
going?”
“I’m going now, aren’t I?” I snapped.
I saw Tara looking at me in the rearview.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. I just…don’t like going to the hospital. It’s a long story.”
Ezra slowed for a red light. “I’ve got time.”
I looked at him for a long moment. He seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, which was new to me. Most guys I hung out with was only ever interested in one thing, and it wasn’t making conversation.
Of course, I never had any issues with that.
I cleared my throat. “The condensed version is that the last time I was at the hospital it was for my sister. And she…she never made it out.”
My eyes were plastered out the window, because I had no interest in seeing his reaction. And I could feel him staring. Tara too.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, driving again now that the light was green.
His voice had been thick with pity, and it was the feeling of his sympathy that I truly hated. Everybody had been sorry about Bryn’s passing. People would come by the house with their condolences and give us each fake hugs and disgusting casseroles. Fluffy could have made better casseroles.
“Don’t be,” I told him coolly.
As soon as the hospital came into view, I was almost glad. Almost. Obviously, I didn’t want to be there. If I could choose to escape this conversation any other way, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Hell, I was half tempted to open the door and jump out.
That was how much I hated talking about Bryn.
And I meant what I said. I hadn’t been to a hospital since the day Bryn was airlifted to Albany Med in critical condition. We were told straight from the start that the odds weren’t in her favor, and that they even had to revive her on the way. The accident had been bad, and as soon as I saw her crumpled body, I knew what her fate was.
That…well that memory sucked some serious donkey balls.
I never got to see her before she passed. I was only granted a peak of her body—some of her bones angled the wrong way, and a majority of her body completely black and blue from the impact—as they were rushing her into surgery. They told me I’d have time with her after.
If she made it.
I cringed out of the memory when Ezra opened the passenger side door. I hadn’t even realized we were in front of the emergency room doors, let alone that we had parked.
I let him help me out of the truck, and Tara came from inside with a nurse and a wheelchair.
“You going to be okay while I park the truck?” Ezra asked, gesturing toward the large parking lot across the street.
I nodded. “You can go if you want. I don’t know how long we’ll be.”
His eye twitched. “And how do you suppose you’re getting back home? Certainly not by walking.”
I shrugged. “I just don’t want you to have to wait.”
He jaw ticked. “I’ll see you in there in a few.”
He went back to his truck as the nurse turned me around and wheeled me into the emergency clinic. After registering, she passed me a clipboard of paperwork to fill out while I waited for them to call me back.
“Your boyfriend is very protective,” she told me softly, giving me a soft smile.
I snorted. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Her cheeks turned to a faint pink. “Oh. My mistake. He just seemed so…”
I didn’t let her finish. “Well we’re not.”
She nodded and looked down at the paperwork I filled out. “I see your covered under your mother’s insurance? Would you like to pay now for the visit or have it billed?”
I swore silently to myself. I didn’t think to bring my insurance card with me that I would normally use in situations like this. And I also didn’t have my wallet, or the money to pay for the $250 dollar emergency room fee.
Guess it would have to be billed.
Which meant mom was probably going to freak, because she grew wary of hospitals just as I have over the last few years. Usually, I’d call her if I got hurt. But she didn’t need to worry, especially with the things going on at home.
“And how would you like to be addressed when they call you in? Miss. Morgen? Or Ashley?”
Quietly, I said, “Ashley is fine.”
She nodded and directed Tara to wheel me into the waiting room. Not long after, Ezra walked in, going to the desk and speaking to the same nurse that had registered me. I assumed he asked where I was because the nurse pointed in my direction, causing Ezra to look my way. When we locked eyes, he said something to the nurse and then walked toward me.
“Why would you not want me to drive you home?” he demanded in a low voice, dropping into the seat next to me.
I rolled my eyes. “Can we just drop it?”
“No.”
I eyed him. “Can’t I at least get a free pass this once? I am in the hospital after all.”
He hesitated. “We’ll talk about it later.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he wouldn’t let me. “Do you have your phone with you?”
I was a little surprised by the question, but I dug my phone out of my jacket pocket. He grabbed it before I could ask why he wanted to know, and watched as he put in a new number in my contacts.
Was he giving me his phone number?
He huffed, “Now when you need me to come over, you can just call.”
I stared at his name and number on the screen.
“But why?”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean why?”
I blushed. “Well…you and I haven’t really been talking that much since we hung out. I thought that things were going okay, but every time I saw you after that it was like you were skirting around a conversation.”
He raked his fingers through his dark hair, taken back like he was surprised. Hadn’t he realized we were barely speaking like we were when we first met? Things got weird between us fast. It was like he was avoiding me without wanting to admit it to himself.
“Ashley, I—”
“Ashley?” A nurse called, scanning the waiting room.
I looked at him apologetically. “It’s okay,” I told him, although I didn’t know what it was that was okay. Maybe the excuse he was about to give me? Or maybe the reason why he was avoiding me, even if that wasn’t what he was going to say.
“We’ll talk when you’re done,” he told me, sitting back in the chair looking tense.
Tara wheeled me over to the nurse. “Can I come in with her?”
The nurse smiled at her, then directed her soft expression toward me. “Of course. Is there anyone else you’d like to come in?”
I glanced over at Ezra, who was watching us.
“Um, do you want to come in?” I asked, not recognizing the sheepishness in my own voice.
Ezra’s shoulders tensed a little. “I think I’ll stay out here if that’s all right.”
I gave him a reassuring smile. “No problem.”
I didn’t want him thinking I needed him in there anyway. Not after the way he reacted when I called him out for the way we were acting around each other.
Where I stood with him didn’t make a lick of sense to me. One second we were practically flirting, and the next we were avoiding each other like bumping into a bad one night fling. It was awkward. We were awkward.
And I didn’t do awkward.
I didn’t look at him as I was wheeled through the emergency room doors and into the hall that had various rooms lining the walls. There were quite a bit of people here today, and the noise helped drown out some of my thoughts.
When we made it to the room I’d be in, the nurse and Tara helped me get from my chair to the bed. After explaining what had happened, the nurse examined my leg and ankle.
I could tell by the face she made that this wasn’t going to be a basic trip that ended in getting pain medication. She ended up getting two pillows, and propping my leg onto them so it was elevated. She kept my pant leg rolled up so my knee was exposed and took my temperature, some of my vi
tals, asked for my weight, and then wrote everything down for a doctor to look over.
She drew the curtain closed to give me some privacy from the rest of the clinic.
I looked at Tara, who was studying me. “What?”
She leaned back in her seat. “What’s going on with you and Ezra?”
My brows shot up. “Nothing is.”
She played with the hem of her jacket sleeves. “I don’t mean to pry or anything, but it seems like there is. I mean even the nurse thought you two were dating.”
I rolled my eyes. “And as I told her, we aren’t. You know I’d tell you if something that miraculous happened in my life.”
“You act like getting a boyfriend is less likely to happen than the world ending.”
I shrugged. “You know how I am about relationships.”
“Actually, I don’t,” she disagreed, her lips turned down into a slight frown. “I know that you prefer simple flings, but I never really understood why. I just never questioned it.”
So why was she questioning it now? I asked her.
She shrugged. “Ezra wouldn’t keep helping you if there wasn’t some level of interest there. I mean he came over twice just to help you when you needed it, not to mention he came over before then to hang out. If he wanted something casual like your usual…conquests…then he’d have gotten it by now.”
I tipped my head back laughing. “My conquests? Seriously?”
She looked down at her lap. “You have a rep, Ash.”
I snorted. “I’m well aware. But what does that have to do with Ezra?”
“He gave you his number.”
“So did the blond from yesterday that invited us to his party tonight,” I reminded her. “I know that you want to believe in the sappy romances you read in those books, girl. But that isn’t always real life. Ezra and I…well I don’t know what we are. I thought we were hitting it off until something changed. This is the most I’ve talked to him about something other than how my day has been since you got him to come over the other weekend.”
She looked up at me with distant eyes.
I added, “I don’t know what happened, but he distanced himself from me. I’m okay with that, really. What he’s done for me has been really sweet, but I’m not reading into it. Neither should you.”
A Hard Place to Breathe Page 5
