“Why are you so good to me?” I asked, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
She drew back. “I don’t know about that,” she said quietly, wiping the back of her hand across the spot I kissed.
“Everything okay?”
She eyed me. “I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
I shrugged, crossing my legs so I was sitting Indian-style across from her. “I know, but you never did tell me what was going on the day my parents were over. You just haven’t been yourself.”
She waved it off. “I’ve been under a lot of stress at school, that’s all. Now let’s talk about you.”
Was she brushing me off? “Tara—”
The look she gave me burned. “No. Now talk. What happened with you and Ezra yesterday? You were in here one second looking like a mess and then you were bolting to his door. Did something happen?”
I sighed. “I remembered something that upset me that I wanted to talk to him about.”
I never told Tara about what happened with Jayce, and I knew I needed to. We were friends, after all. But she was keeping things from me too. And it wasn’t like we had a contract that said I had to open up every time a douchebag decided to say something stupid to me. If that were the case, I’d never shut up. Still, I was used to telling her everything, and holding things back didn’t feel right.
But did I tell her then? Nope.
“Something between you two?”
I shook my head no. “It was something different. But then…”
She waited.
“We kinda slept together.”
Her eyes widened. “Well that’s good isn’t it? I mean you’re obviously into him and he was practically drooling over you. You guys were waiting for the perfect moment.”
I nodded slowly. “I thought we were.”
Her face twisted. “But…?”
I grabbed my pink fuzzy pillow. “It seemed perfect, Tara. I mean I never felt the way I did with him with anybody else. He made everything so…intimate. You know I’m not used to that kind of treatment. Everything he’s done for me was like he was proving that I was worth more than just a good lay.”
“Of course, he has feelings for you.”
“He kicked me out.”
She paled. “What?”
I nodded lamely. “We had sex, talked for like two seconds and then he kicked my ass to curb. I should have seen it coming, you know? I was being stupid and thinking if I opened up to a guy then it would be worth it. Fat chance of that apparently.”
She looked incredibly confused. “Whoa, wait a minute. You’re telling me that the Ezra, who has been attached to you since the day he moved in, just kicked you out after he slept with you. Am I getting that right?”
“Want me to write it on my damn forehead?” I snapped bitterly.
“I just don’t see how Ezra could do that.”
“Well he did!”
“I believe you,” she said, trying to calm me down. I was seething just thinking about the whole thing. “You said that you guys were talking before he asked you to leave?”
I groaned into my pillow and nodded.
“What were you talking about?”
“Rainbows and unicorns,” I answered dryly. When I saw the unenthused look on her face, I sighed. “I just asked him what his last name was. We never really got into much detail about our lives with each other. Not even our last names, which I know is stupid.”
“At least you know it now, right?”
“Does it even matter now?” I quipped. “As soon as he found out mine he was so…angry. Like he found out I was some murderer on the run or something.”
“He freaked out about your name?”
“Do I need to write this down for you? Draw a picture maybe? Yes, Tara. I told him my full name, and he acted like I shot him. How weird is that? He got off the bed and then left making an excuse that the cat was making noise.”
“Ezra has a cat?”
I groaned. “First off, it’s Mrs. Meyer’s cat. He’s looking after it while she’s gone—”
“Aww! He has Fluffy?”
I gaped at her. “Am I the only one that she hates in this entire building? Geez, Ezra is on a first name basis with her and watching after her damn cat.”
“Well you did try breaking into her apartment…”
“One. Time. That happened once!” I am never, in my lifetime, going to live that one down.
She shrugged.
“That’s not even the point,” I informed her. “We’re getting off track. So Ezra leaves his room saying that Fluffy was making noise, but I didn’t hear anything. He totally ditched me in his bed! So I finally got the lady balls to go out and see what was wrong, and he looked so tense still. He wouldn’t even pay attention to the cat.”
That last part made Tara frown.
“Anyway,” I said slowly, narrowing my eyes at her. “I demanded to know what was wrong, because quite frankly I felt used. I’m totally used to the whole casual hookup and leave thing, but that was so not what I was being lead to. You know?”
She didn’t say anything but nodded along.
I laid back in bed, staring up at my ceiling. “And then he told me to leave. He acted like whatever I felt was one sided. Like nothing we said or did mattered. How could I be so stupid, Tara? Why would a guy want me like that after the rumors at school? He probably thought he’d play a game to make me get the feels and the rip them away.”
“Oh, Ash. I doubt that’s what’s going on.”
I looked at her. “Then what do you think is going on? I can’t figure it out. All I can think is how I let that scumbag use me.”
“He isn’t a—”
I shot her the death glare.
“You’re right. Total butt muncher.”
I nodded in satisfaction.
“Want me to cut off his balls?”
I snorted. “Yes. But I know you wouldn’t really do that. Thanks for the offer anyway.”
“Ashley?” She looked away for minute. “There is something that I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I wasn’t really sure how to.”
That didn’t sound promising.
I sat back up. “What is it?”
“Well…”
I waited impatiently.
She looked away from me, like she was contemplating something. But then she blurted out, “I think Ezra loves you.”
I stared at her like she just said she was the Queen of England.
“Some way to show love,” I told her quietly.
Her phone stared going off in her pocket. When she pulled it out and looked at the screen her lips pursed.
“You okay?”
I couldn’t see the name on the screen, but she didn’t seem happy over whoever it was. She pressed a button and made the noise stop.
“Junk call.”
Bull. “Tara who was that?”
“I said—” Her phone went off again, cutting her off from making up some lame lie. She was seriously starting to get good at dodging questions.
I totally corrupted her.
“I have to take this,” she muttered, scurrying out of my room.
Not willing to be lied to, I crept toward the door and pressed my ear against the wall. Thank god the walls were thin. Although there were plenty of times I was upset that they were.
Now was not one of those times.
Tara said, “You can’t come over.” Pause. “Because I said so! You know damn well she’s here!”
I almost started jumping up and down. Was Tara talking to a boy? No wonder she was always out. She was totally hooking up with somebody!
How could she not tell me? We were best friends! Talking about boys was practically a need-to-know in our friendship. She knew every time I was talking to somebody, so why couldn’t I know about her?
Tara sighed. “No. That’s my final answer. I don’t want her to know about us.”
Was she embarrassed about me? She probably thought I was going to ruin it for her. I did ha
ve a tendency to make inappropriate jokes, but she usually always laughed. And she knew I was teasing! Well, most of the time…
“You better not—” I heard her warn.
Then there was silence for a short moment.
Then Tara groaned, although it sounded more like an irritated growl. Damn, her man was not making her happy right now. If she told me about him I would happily hunt him down and give him the best friend’s talk. Maybe that was why she never told me about him. But if I threatened to cut off his balls if he ever did anything to hurt her, it would be out of love of Tara, not to embarrass her.
I quickly rushed to my bed when I heard her walking my way.
“Hey,” she said. “Sorry about that.”
I smiled. “No big.”
“So I was thinking…” She looked at her phone once it buzzed. “Maybe you should go for a while. Take a walk or hang out at the library.”
Huh?
“And why would I do that?”
“Or you could go to the café and get lunch! Maybe eat there and relax for a little while. You know, just to get away from the building.”
Was she trying to get rid of me? Seriously?
“Tara, why are you trying to kick me out?”
She frowned. “I’m not…”
“I’m starting to get a complex here,” I muttered. “First Ezra, now you. Geez, am I welcome anywhere? Do I have a sign on my back that says, ‘Hey, I’m a slut! Please kick me out!’”
“You’re not a slut!”
“Who was that on the phone?”
“Please, Ashley,” she begged. “I really think it’s a good idea if you leave for a little while. You’ve been through a lot, and fresh air might help.”
“Ugh!” I groaned, standing up. “What the hell is going on? You’ve been so secretive lately, like I’m not allowed to know what’s going on in your life. Admit it, Tara! You’re seeing somebody and you don’t want me to meet him.”
She shot forward. “Ash, it’s not like that.”
There was a knock at the front door.
I eyed her. “Is that him?”
She tried pulling my arm back when I rushed toward the door. When I opened it up, I so did not expect to see what I saw.
“I told you not to come here!” Tara spat at Jayce.
Jayce. Fucking. Mitchell.
I turned and stared at Tara.
“Ashley, it’s not what you think.”
Jayce walked into the apartment like he owned the place. I noticed a faint black and blue mark on his jaw from where I hit him, but I was in too much shock to enjoy the moment and fill with pride.
“Hey, tutor girl,” Jayce said, messing up Tara’s head like she was a dog.
I looked between them. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Ashley, I wanted to tell you—”
Jayce snorted. “No she didn’t. She practically begged me not to tell you myself. Your little bestie here has been tutoring me to catch me up. I tried requesting you, but to my surprise I found out your grades weren’t good enough. Guess I was wrong about you, Ashley. I guess you dropped that nerd self of yours to take on the full whore lifestyle.”
I balled my hands into fists.
“Don’t call her that!” Tara yelled.
“Get out of my apartment!” I told him. “You have no right to be here. This is my space.”
He stepped toward me. “You’re just angry because I’m involved in every single piece of your life. You thought you could shake me off, didn’t you? You’re wrong.”
I looked at Tara, too stunned to speak.
“Ashley, please,” she pleaded quietly. “I didn’t want to upset you if you knew he was assigned to me. I knew how you’d react.”
I shook my head and held my hand up to stop her from continuing. “It would have hurt a hell of a lot less if you had just told me as soon as you knew you’d be hanging out with him. Have you been sneaking around this whole time with him? Is that where you’ve been?”
She swallowed and nodded slowly.
Unbelievable.
“Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything,” I told her coolly. “What the hell does that make us then?”
“We’re still best friends.”
Jayce laughed. “It’s going to be hard to recover from this one.”
“Shut up!” she demanded.
Jayce grinned at me. “This isn’t even the best part, Blondie. You think I’m just involved with your bestie? Think again.”
Before I could open my mouth, a new mouth intervened.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Ezra boomed, walking into the apartment and pushing Jayce back.
“What a coincidence,” Jayce mused. “I was just talking about you!”
What? He was referring to Ezra?
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Was he the one who put Ezra up to using me like that? It made sense. Jayce wanted to hurt me in any way he could. He wanted to make me suffer for the rest of my life.
But why Ezra went through with it was beyond me.
Tara was staring wide-eyed at Ezra and Jayce facing off. Me on the other hand? I was holding my temples, where a huge migraine was pulsing. This day was becoming way too much. It was like one punch straight after the other.
“Get the hell out of here,” Ezra demanded, shoving Jayce toward the door.
Jayce stood his ground though. “What? Afraid your little secret is going to come out? Afraid your little girlfriend is going to find out who you really are?”
Tara’s attention turned to me. And mine turned to Ezra. “What is he talking about?” I demanded, so quietly I didn’t even recognize my own voice.
“Ashley, just ignore him.”
Jayce put his arm around Ezra’s shoulder. “I think it’s time we all were formally introduced, don’t you little brother?”
Tara gasped. Ezra paled.
And I blacked out.
My head pounded worse than it did before I fell backward. I wanted to reach out and hold it, to relieve the pressure, but my body was weak. I had no interest in moving.
“I think she hit her head,” somebody said from above me.
Someone put a cool cloth across my forehead.
“She did,” a grim voice said from further away.
“Don’t feel bad,” Tara said. “What happened wasn’t your fault. I should have told her…”
“We both should have told her,” the voice, which I realized was Ezra’s, replied. He sounded tired, worried, and pissed off.
“I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s fine.”
And that was Jayce.
What the hell was he still doing here?
“I thought I told you to shut the hell up,” Ezra growled.
“Relax,” another guy said. Nate. “We’ll take him into the other room.”
“Just make him leave!” Tara demanded.
I knew if Nate here, Blair was too.
I was right, hearing Blair say, “He won’t leave.”
Of course he wouldn’t, because he wanted to make sure that my life was a living hell. Apparently, everybody I cared about did.
I groaned internally when I thought about Tara and Ezra. They both lied to me, and they weren’t little white lies. Tara had been seeing Jayce, and Ezra was his freaking brother! His. Brother. They had the same blood flowing through them, and I slept with him.
God, it was like I slept with Jayce himself.
My life was just one constant blow to the boob.
“I think she’s stirring,” Blair said quietly.
A hand landed on mine. “Ash?” It was Tara.
I sighed. Guess I couldn’t pretend to be out for much longer.
I opened my eyes to see that I was resting in my room. I looked around the room, seeing everybody’s eyes staring at me. The one I couldn’t look back at was Ezra.
Tara upset me, sure. She held back the fact she was tutoring the douchebag I hated for so many years. She knew that I was going to be pissed for
a little while, because when it came to Jayce I held grudges.
But Ezra hurt me the most, and I wasn’t sure I was willing to forgive him.
“Ash?” Blair asked, giving me a small smile. “How are you feeling? Does your head hurt?”
I frowned. “A little.”
Aka a lot.
“Need me to get you some ice?” Tara asked.
I looked at her for a small moment. “Sure.”
She could feel the hostility I had toward her, but she didn’t say anything. She knew better. She knew me way too well to argue or push me to listen to her reason. I would, because nonetheless we were friends. But just not now. I needed time.
Blair squeezed my hand. “She feels really, really bad.”
She should.
“Ashley,” Ezra said quietly from where he stood in the corner of the room.
My eyes travelled toward him, but only for a microsecond. I didn’t want to look at him, afraid I’d see just how similar he looked like Jayce. Although deep down I knew they didn’t look anything alike.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
Tara came back in with an ice packed wrapped in a dish towel. She passed it to me silently.
Blair let go of my hand and towed Tara toward the door, leaving Ezra and I alone. I wasn’t sure if I appreciated that, because I had no interest in listening to what he had to say.
“I’m an ass.”
I snorted. “I had a few other names in mind.”
He took a step forward. “Yeah, I deserved that. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I didn’t really want you to leave—”
I laughed bitterly, my eyes snapping to him. “Oh that’s rich. If you didn’t want me to leave then you sure have a weird way of showing it. And do you think that’s what really matters right now? You’re not an ass just for sleeping with me and kicking me out after. You’re an ass for lying to me this whole damn time!”
“That isn’t true,” he countered. “Jesus, Ash. I didn’t know your last name. How was I supposed to know who you were and what kind of connection you had to Jayce?”
“You’re brothers,” I spit.
How could I let myself fall for somebody related to the person who killed my sister? God, how could I admit that I’d fallen for him after all of this? It felt wrong. I thought being happy before was wrong when Bryn couldn’t be here to be happy with me, but this was really betraying her. Getting involved with the brother of her killer?
A Hard Place to Breathe Page 15
