by R. L. Stine
10
“Let me show you something,” Kermit said eagerly, lowering his voice to a whisper. He pulled something out of his bottom desk drawer and brought it over to Evan’s foldout bed.
“Look.” Kermit’s grin grew wider. He handed the object to Evan.
“Hey—!” Evan cried out. “It’s so hairy!”
Evan stared at the small object. Some kind of ball, covered in thick, greasy black hair. “This is totally gross,” he told Kermit. “What is this? Why are you showing it to me?”
“It’s an egg,” Kermit said, giggling.
“Huh?” Evan nearly dropped it. He turned the hairy thing between his hands. “What kind of egg?” he asked suspiciously.
“Just an egg,” Kermit replied. “I took it from the refrigerator.”
“But—” Evan started.
“Remember, I told you about my hair-growing formula?” Kermit asked. “I said it wasn’t ready yet. But it is.”
Evan handed the hairy egg back to his cousin. It was too creepy. It was making him sick.
He swallowed. “You really can grow thick hair like that on an egg?”
Kermit nodded, grinning. He cradled the egg in his hands as if it were a precious jewel. “My hair mixture works, Evan. We can use it to pay Conan back.”
“Whoa!” Evan cried. “We can’t make him drink it and turn his mouth all hairy. That’s too horrible — even for Conan.”
“I know,” Kermit agreed. “But we can pour it on his hands, can’t we? We can give him werewolf hands! That would be pretty funny — wouldn’t it?”
Evan laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, it sure would! Let’s do it!”
Kermit carried the hairy egg back to his desk drawer. “I was going to test my hair mixture out on Dogface next,” he told Evan. “But Dogface is already hairy enough. Conan is better.”
“Much better,” Evan agreed, smiling for the first time that night. “Where is your hair mixture?”
“Don’t worry. I have it hidden safe and sound,” Kermit replied. “It will be ready when we need it.”
* * *
It took Evan hours to fall asleep. Partly because he couldn’t stop thinking of his revenge against Conan. And partly because Kermit was snoring his head off.
Evan stared up at the ceiling with his hands over his ears, unable to shut out the awful sound. A throaty gluggg glugggg, followed by a whistle.
Kermit is obnoxious even when he’s asleep, Evan thought bitterly.
When he finally fell asleep, Evan dreamed he was standing in his pajamas in Kermit’s backyard. It was night. Long shadows fell over the grass.
Peering into the back of the yard, Evan saw Kermit’s white mice. At least half a dozen of them. They had clustered around something hidden in the grass.
In the dream, Evan moved closer. And saw what had interested the lab mice.
A blue can. An open can of Monster Blood!
Evan’s mouth dropped open in horror.
The green gunk had bubbled out of the can. And the white mice were silently gobbling it. Gobbling down chunk after chunk. Their teeth gnashing up and down. Their furry bodies quivering with excitement as they ate.
As they swallowed down the sticky green goo, they grew. Evan stared in shock. The mice inflated until they were as big as dogs. Then bigger. The giant mice rose up on their hind legs.
They’re taller than me! Evan saw, stumbling back. And so fat! They must weigh two hundred pounds!
They turned to him, gnashing their teeth hungrily. As tall as the house, the mice lurched heavily toward Evan.
One of them tossed back its head, opened its jaws wide, and let out a roar. Evan saw rows of jagged gray teeth.
And then the mice lurched heavily toward him. Their feet thudded the ground. Their dark eyes glinted in the silvery glow from the moon.
“Nooooooooo!” He opened his mouth in a long, high howl.
He raised his hands to protect himself.
The mice rose over him now. One of them lowered its head. Its jagged teeth slid around Evan’s waist. Its jaw tightened.
Evan felt its hot, sour breath stream over him.
Felt the teeth dig into his side.
And then he was being lifted up. Lifted in the giant jaws of the white mouse. The mouse clamped its jaws shut. Bit down hard.
Evan knew it was chewing him. Chewing him to pieces.
He opened his eyes. Began to lift himself from the frightening dream. Lift himself… lift himself…
And heard a tapping at Kermit’s bedroom window.
Evan squinted through the darkness. To the window. And saw a giant mouse!
11
No.
No. The mouse was part of the dream.
I’m still half in my dream, half awake, Evan realized, blinking his eyes.
He shook himself hard. Shook himself awake.
The mouse faded slowly, then vanished. And Evan stared at the window, stared at Andy outside in the darkness. Tapping on the glass. Tapping so urgently.
Evan jumped from the small foldout bed. His legs were tangled in the blanket. He stumbled and had to grab the edge of Kermit’s dresser to catch his balance.
One foot had fallen asleep. He dragged it, limping to the window. He silently pushed open the window, careful not to wake Kermit.
Kermit snored away, glugging and whistling. He had kicked his blanket to the floor. He had fallen asleep with his glasses on.
Evan leaned out into the darkness. A gust of cold wind made him shiver.
“Andy — what are you doing here?” he cried out.
“Get dressed,” Andy ordered. “Hurry, Evan. I have to show you something.”
“Huh?” He glanced back at Kermit’s clock radio. “It’s almost midnight!”
Andy raised a finger to her lips. “Sssshhhh. Hurry. Get dressed. I think you’ll want to see this.”
She held up a can. A blue plastic can.
Evan groaned. “You really came here in the middle of the night for another joke? Give me a break, Andy. What’s going to spring out at me this time?”
But then he saw the serious expression on Andy’s face.
“It isn’t a joke — is it?” he whispered.
She shook her head.
“It’s Monster Blood — right?” Evan demanded.
Andy nodded. “I think so. The can — it looks the same.”
Evan spun away from the window. He pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt right over his pajamas. His hands trembled as he tied his shoes.
He grabbed his down jacket from the closet. And climbed out the window.
“I was dreaming about Monster Blood,” he told Andy.
She bit her bottom lip. “This isn’t a dream,” she replied quietly.
Evan shivered. It was a cold, clear night.
Andy wore her magenta windbreaker and a pair of silvery leggings. She had a red wool ski cap pulled down over her short brown hair.
She raised the plastic can to Evan. “I think it’s the real thing. I hurried over as soon as I was sure my parents were asleep.”
“Where did you get it?” he whispered.
“Behind the lab on Peachtree where my dad works. We were picking him up before dinner. I was waiting in the parking lot behind the lab. I found this in a whole pile of stuff.”
“You didn’t open it — did you?” Evan demanded.
“No way,” she replied. She tried to hand him the can. But he waved it away.
“I don’t want it,” Evan told her. “Why did you bring it over here?”
Andy shrugged. “I thought after this afternoon, you might want to pay Conan back for being such a big jerk.”
“Yes, I do want to pay Conan back,” Evan admitted.
“So use the Monster Blood,” Andy urged. “You can put a little of it in his lunch at school. You can—”
“No way!” Evan cried. “Conan is already a mountain! I don’t want to make him any BIGGER!”
The light faded from Andy’s dark eyes. “I guess you’re
right. But we could put Monster Blood in his bed. Or—”
“Stop!” Evan ordered. “It’s too dangerous. I don’t want to use Monster Blood on Conan. Kermit and I have another plan for Conan. A really good plan.”
“What is it?” Andy demanded eagerly.
“I’ll tell you as soon as you get rid of the Monster Blood,” Evan told her. “I really don’t want that stuff around. Go hide it someplace where no one will ever find it.”
“But, Evan—” Andy protested.
Evan didn’t let her finish. “You know what will happen if that can gets opened,” he said firmly. “It will bubble up. And it will grow and grow, and we won’t be able to stop it.”
“Okay, okay.” Andy rolled her eyes. “I’ll take it home. I’ll find a good hiding place.”
“Promise?” Evan demanded, eyeing her sharply.
“Promise,” she repeated, raising her right hand.
“Hey — what’s that?” a voice called from behind them.
Evan spun around and saw Kermit scramble out the open window.
Kermit grabbed the blue can from Andy’s hand.
“Cool!” he cried. “Monster Blood! Is it real?”
He didn’t wait for an answer.
He gripped the can tightly — and pulled off the lid.
12
“No! Don’t do that!” Evan screamed.
Too late.
“Close it up!” Evan cried frantically. “Close the can — quick!”
Kermit stood staring into the open can. “It’s too dark. I can’t see anything.”
“Give me that!” Evan ordered. He leaped forward and tried to swipe the can away.
He grabbed the can — but knocked the lid from Kermit’s hand.
Kermit made a wild grab for the lid. But a gust of wind blew it out of his reach.
As Evan gaped in horror, the wind lifted the plastic lid… lifted it over their heads.
“Noooooo!” He let out a long wail as the lid spun crazily above them. He made a wild grab. Another. Missed.
The wind carried the lid up to the slanted roof of the house. It hit the shingles. Slid down a few feet. And came to a rest in the metal rain gutter.
“I don’t believe this,” Evan muttered.
“I’ll get the ladder from the garage,” Kermit offered. He took off across the dew-wet grass.
“Hurry!” Evan cried.
“The Monster Blood — it’s moving!” Andy exclaimed, pointing with a trembling finger.
Evan gazed down at the can gripped tightly in his hand. He couldn’t really see inside. Dark clouds had drifted over the moon, blocking out the light.
Evan brought the can close to his face. And gasped.
“Andy — it’s blue!”
“Huh?” She pressed close to him. Their heads banged as they both eagerly stared into the can.
Yes. The thick glop inside the can was blue — not green.
It made a sick plopping sound as it rolled from side to side, like an ocean wave.
“It — it’s trying to get out!” Andy stammered.
“Hurry, Kermit!” Evan called.
Kermit came running from the garage, an aluminum ladder tilted over one shoulder.
“Why is it blue?” Andy asked.
The thick goo lapped at the side of the can. As Evan stared in horror, it splashed up over the top.
“Kermit — please hurry! Get the lid!” he cried.
Kermit propped the ladder against the side of the house. Then he turned back to them. “Someone else has to climb up,” he called.
“Just do it!” Evan screamed frantically. “The stuff is spilling out over the top!”
“But I’m afraid of heights!” Kermit declared.
Evan rolled his eyes. “It isn’t that high. Just climb up, and—”
“I can’t!” Kermit whined. “Really!”
“I’ll do it.” Andy ran to the ladder. Kermit held it steady for her.
Evan watched her scramble up. The Monster Blood bobbed and plopped in the can. The clouds rolled away from the moon. It was definitely bright blue, Evan saw.
And definitely trying to raise itself out of the can.
Andy climbed up to the gutter. Holding the ladder with her right hand, she reached out to the lid with her free hand.
Reached… reached…
And the wind blew the lid from the gutter.
“Noooo—!” Andy screamed. She grabbed for it.
Lost her balance.
Grabbed the sides of the ladder with both hands.
The lid spun crazily in the air. Then it swooped down to the grass.
“I’ve got it!” Kermit cried. He dove for it and grabbed it in one hand.
“Yes!” Evan cried happily. “Put it on the can — quick!”
Andy carefully lowered herself rung by rung.
She reached the ground, turned, breathing hard, and hurried back to Evan.
Kermit came running over with the lid.
But before he reached Evan, a voice rang out from the yard across from his.
“Hey — what’s going on?”
Evan looked up to see Conan running across the grass.
“Oh, no!” Evan moaned, and the Monster Blood can fell out of his hand.
13
With a gasp, Evan bent to pick up the can.
Had the blue Monster Blood spilled out?
No.
He lifted it carefully, holding one hand over the open top.
Conan stopped at the edge of the yard. “What are you three babies doing out so late?” he demanded. “I’ll tell your mommies!”
“Give us a break, Conan,” Andy called. “We’re not bothering you!”
“Your face is bothering me!” Conan shot back. Then his eyes fell on the can in Evan’s hand. “What’s that?”
Evan nearly dropped the can again. “This? Uh… nothing…. It’s…”
Evan’s mind went blank. He couldn’t think of a good lie to tell Conan.
Kermit grabbed the can away from Evan. “It’s candy,” he told Conan. “Blue Fruit Roll in a Barrel! We saw it on TV, and it’s awesome.”
“Give me some!” Conan ordered. He reached out his big hand.
“No way!” Kermit teased him, pulling the can back. “We’re not sharing with you!”
He pretended to lick the blue candy. “Wow. That’s really excellent!”
“Guess I’m going to have to take it from you,” Conan declared menacingly. He took a step toward them, his hand outstretched. “Give it.”
“Are you crazy?” Evan whispered to Kermit. “Why did you tease him? Now he’s going to take it and—”
“No problem,” Kermit whispered back. A sly grin spread over his face. “Watch.”
“Give it,” Conan thundered, waving his outstretched hand. He took another step toward them. Another.
Evan heard the crackle of electricity before he saw the white spark.
Conan’s eyes bulged. His hands shot up. His knees buckled.
“Urg. Urg.” He uttered two strange cries as Kermit’s invisible electric fence zapped him again.
Conan staggered back, gasping for breath. His broad chest heaved up and down. He reminded Evan of a bull about to charge.
Kermit raised the can and pretended to eat the Monster Blood again. “Wow. That is excellent!” he declared.
Conan glared at the three of them. Even across the dark yard, Evan could see the fury on his face.
But the bull couldn’t charge. Couldn’t get to them. Not as long as the electric fence was turned on.
Conan balled his hands into fists. “You’re history,” he called to them. “All three of you. You’re roadkill.”
He spun around. Swinging his fists hard at his sides, he stomped into his house.
Andy let out a sigh of relief. “That was pretty good!” she told Kermit.
A high, shrill giggle escaped Kermit’s throat. “Yeah. Not bad!”
“There’s just one problem,” Evan murmured. “We�
�re roadkill if we ever leave this backyard!”
He turned to Kermit. “Give me back the can. We’d better close it—”
Evan gasped.
The can in Kermit’s hand! He was holding it upside down!
Evan grabbed for it.
Too late.
With a sick PLOP, the blue gunk dropped out of the can.
It landed on the grass in front of Evan’s feet. He stared down at it as it quivered. Quivered and shook, like blue Jell-O.
It glowed in the light from the moon. Glowed bright blue.
Bobbed and trembled.
And grew.
“It’s… changing shape!” Andy cried. She leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees, and gazed down wide-eyed at it.
The blue blob wiggled. It rolled over once, moving away from Evan.
And grew some more.
It rolled again. Wiggled from side to side.
And then rose up. Up… as if trying to stand.
“I don’t believe this!” Evan choked out. “It’s some kind of creature!”
“You’re right!” Kermit agreed. “It’s ALIVE!”
14
Evan squatted on the grass, watching the blue Monster Blood intently. Andy and Kermit stood openmouthed as the creature bounced, and grew, and took shape.
A sleek blue head popped up from the body. A curved gash in the head became a mouth. It turned up in a goofy grin.
Two big, round eyes appeared above the mouth.
The creature was about the size of a chipmunk. It made a squeaking sound as it bounced over the grass. Its rubbery body throbbed rapidly, like a heart.
“It’s so cute!” Andy declared, raising her hands to the sides of her face. “It’s like a lovable little blob creature.”
“It looks friendly,” Kermit added. “It keeps staring up at us and smiling.”
Evan didn’t say a word. As he studied the creature, a heavy feeling of dread formed in the pit of his stomach.
I don’t care how cute the little guy looks, he thought. This is Monster Blood. And Monster Blood is always evil.
“Let’s try to push it back in the can,” he suggested.
The creature bounced and squeaked.
“Do you think it will fit?” Kermit asked.
