by R. L. Stine
Aunt Dee’s smile faded. “Help? What’s wrong?” She turned back to the stove. “Keep talking. I just have to stir this. I’m mixing up a new batch of spaghetti with hot sauce for my reading club tonight.”
“We have a real problem. Andy found a can of Monster Blood, and Kermit opened it,” Evan told her, all in one breath.
“That’s nice,” Aunt Dee replied, frowning at her hot sauce. She sniffed and peered down into the steaming pot. “I think it needs more peppers.”
“Mom — you’ve got to listen!” Kermit pleaded.
“I am listening,” she insisted, stirring harder. “Go on with your story.”
“It’s not a story. It’s real,” Evan told her.
Still stirring, she glanced back at him. “I hope there isn’t any serious trouble, Evan. You are in charge, you know. Being out in the middle of the night and ruining my flower garden is enough trouble for one visit. When I tell your parents—”
“Mom, please!” Kermit begged.
“I’m afraid we do have more trouble,” Andy told her.
“The Monster Blood poured out and formed a little blob creature,” Evan continued, his voice trembling. “It was cute at first. But it drank a lot of water and exploded into two. Then the two exploded into four.”
Evan glanced out the kitchen window. The creatures were rolling and bouncing all over the backyard. Some of them had discovered the garden hose and were soaking up water, inflating rapidly.
Several of them were forcing their way into the big wooden doghouse in a corner of the yard.
Oh, no, Evan thought. That’s where I stashed the Super-Soakers. Plenty of water for them in Dogface’s house.
“Now there are hundreds of them, Mom,” Kermit continued the story. “And they’re not cute anymore. They’ve grown hair, and they’ve turned really fierce. They’re spreading out all over the neighborhood, and—”
“That’s nice,” Aunt Dee said absently, frowning at her hot sauce.
“Mom — just take a look at them!” Kermit pleaded. “Look out the window. Now!”
“I can’t right now,” she replied. “I have to stir—”
The phone rang.
She handed the long wooden spoon to Evan. “I’ve been waiting for that call. Stir for me till I get back, okay?”
Before Evan could reply, she ran from the kitchen.
“I don’t think she heard us,” Kermit said, shaking his head unhappily. “If only she would take one look out the window. Then maybe…” His voice drifted off.
Evan sighed and stirred the sauce. The steam rising up from the pot burned his eyes. “This stuff is deadly!” he declared.
And that gave him an idea.
He glanced out the window in time to see a wet explosion of slime from the doghouse. The creatures had found the Super-Soakers. More of them had clustered around the little wooden structure.
He turned to Kermit and Andy. “Let’s try Aunt Dee’s hot sauce,” he whispered.
“Excuse me?” Kermit and Andy stared at him, confused.
“You want to eat now?” Kermit asked. “I thought you hated Mom’s hot sauce.”
“I do,” Evan admitted, still whispering. “Because it kills!”
“I get it!” Andy declared, her dark eyes widening in excitement. “You think maybe the hot sauce will kill the Monster Blood creatures.”
Evan nodded. “It’s liquid. So they’ll try to drink it. And maybe it will be too hot for them to handle.”
“Maybe it will blow them up for good!” Andy exclaimed.
“Worth a try, I guess,” Kermit said softly.
Evan glanced to the door. No sign of Aunt Dee.
“Quick—” he whispered. “Help me carry the pot outside.”
24
Evan grabbed two pot holders off the counter and handed one to Andy. Then they each grabbed a handle on the top of the big stew pot and lifted it carefully off the stove.
“It weighs a ton,” Andy groaned.
“Mom likes to make a lot of hot sauce,” Kermit explained. “She keeps the extra sauce in the freezer. For emergencies, I guess.”
He held the back door open. Evan and Andy, hoisting the steaming pot between them, carried it out the door.
Evan raised his eyes to the backyard and let out a cry. “We may be too late,” he moaned. “There are so many of them!”
Squinting into the sunlight, he thought he saw thousands of them! They bounced and rolled over the backyards. They growled and grunted.
They gulped water from the garden hose. Dozens of them were bouncing through a neighbor’s flower bed, drinking the plants dry.
Two houses down, Monster Blood creatures had gathered in a small, backyard goldfish pond. They were busily drinking the pond dry. Some of them were sucking the liquid out of the goldfish!
“Too late,” Evan murmured. “We’re just too late.”
“It might work,” Andy said, not very enthusiastically. “If we can get them to drink it.”
“I–I have to set it down,” Evan told her. “The handle is hot. My hand is burning.”
“Mine too,” Andy replied.
They set the steaming stew pot down on the grass in the center of the yard.
“Now how do we get them to try it?” Kermit asked. Without waiting for an answer, he cupped his hands around his mouth and began shouting, “Come and get it! Come and get it!”
Evan grabbed him and pulled him back. “I don’t think they speak English,” he told Kermit, rolling his eyes.
“Let’s back away from the pot and let them discover it on their own,” Andy suggested.
“Good idea,” Evan replied. He tugged Kermit back some more. “They haven’t had any trouble finding liquid everywhere. If we step back a bit, they’ll discover the hot sauce.”
The three of them backed toward the garage, keeping their eyes on the pot of hot sauce.
Monster Blood creatures bounced over three or four backyards, sucking up any liquid they could find. Flower beds lay wilted and dead. Large patches of grass were brown and dry.
Will they find the hot sauce? Evan wondered.
Will they try it? Will it destroy them?
It nearly destroyed me! he remembered. It burned my lips and took all the skin off the roof of my mouth!
Will it burn up the hairy blue blobs?
The spicy aroma of the hot sauce drifted to Evan’s nose. You can probably smell it all over the backyards, he guessed.
He stared without blinking at the aluminum pot gleaming in the sunlight. And he crossed his fingers, hoping his idea would work.
As he watched, a few Monster Blood creatures turned toward the pot. Their round eyes bulged. They began bobbing up and down, as if excited.
Then they started to bounce toward the hot sauce.
“Yesssss!” Evan whispered. “Yessss!”
But before the creatures could reach the pot, another figure came bounding into the backyard.
Evan was concentrating so hard, at first he didn’t recognize the big sheepdog. But Kermit’s cries made Evan realize what was happening.
“Dogface — get away!” Kermit cried frantically. “Dogface — no! Go home, boy! Dogface — go home!”
But the big dog ignored Kermit’s cries. Wagging his stub of a tail furiously, he trotted toward the shining hot sauce pot.
25
“Dogface — get away!” Kermit cried, frantically waving the big sheepdog back.
Panting hard, his pink tongue hanging down from his furry face, Dogface bounded up to the hot sauce pot. Ignoring Kermit’s desperate cries, he lowered his head to the pot and sniffed it.
“No! Go away! Go away!” Evan joined in on Kermit’s cries. “Get him away from there!”
They couldn’t move fast enough.
The big dog bumped the pot over. The orange hot sauce poured out over the grass.
Dogface lowered his head and licked up a few tastes.
Blue Monster Blood creatures bounced closer. A few began hungrily drinking up the s
pilled hot sauce.
Evan waited and watched, his fingers crossed so hard, they hurt.
No. No.
The hot sauce didn’t bother the hairy blue blobs a bit.
But Dogface raised his head from the ground. Behind his thick fur, his black eyes rolled crazily. The big dog opened his jaws in a long howl of pain.
And as he howled, a growling blue blob leaped onto the dog’s back.
Stunned and in pain, Dogface shook himself hard. But the creature clung to the fur on his back.
“No! Get away!” Evan shrieked as another blob leaped onto Kermit’s dog.
With another howl, the big dog took off. His big paws pounded the grass. He shook himself as he ran, trying to throw off the two creatures.
Kermit stood openmouthed in shock.
“The blobs are drinking up all the hot sauce!” Andy declared. “And now they’re biting and snapping at each other! It’s turning them even meaner!”
“Come on!” Evan cried, running after the dog. “We’ve got to save Dogface! Those creatures will kill him!”
Evan took a deep breath and started running full speed, following the howling dog. Kermit and Andy ran right behind him.
“Dogface — whoa!” Kermit called. “Dogface — stop! Stop!”
But, as always, the dog ignored Kermit.
Shaking his back, he ran in crazy zigzags.
Through backyards. And then across a street. And onto the sidewalk.
The dog barked and howled in protest. But the two blobs hung on, appearing to enjoy the ride.
“Dogface — wait!” Kermit pleaded.
The three kids ran as fast as they could, zigzagging across streets and yards, following the barking, frightened dog.
As they neared the school, Evan glanced back. And saw that the Monster Blood creatures were following them. Dozens of them, bouncing and rolling over the front yards.
They were growling and snapping at everything in their path. One of them exploded, sending a spray of slime over someone’s front yard.
“They’re all following us!” Evan cried breathlessly.
Kermit and Andy turned back. “Oh, wow!” Kermit muttered. “It’s like a parade!”
“Hey — what’s that?” Evan heard a woman shout. “What are you kids doing?”
“Hey — get off my grass!” He heard a man’s angry cry.
He heard startled voices. And saw people bursting out of their houses. Two kids jumped off their bikes and stared. A man on a ladder cried out in surprise and nearly toppled to the ground.
“Dogface — please stop!” Kermit wailed.
But the big dog galloped across the street, heading to the playground behind the school. Just past the sidewalk, he stopped and began rubbing his back against a wide tree trunk.
The hairy blobs on the dog’s back bounced and scraped against the rough tree bark. But they held on tight.
With another howl, Dogface took off, running wildly across the softball field, kicking up dust in the infield, bucking his head, shaking his whole body.
And then the big dog slumped to the ground.
The three kids gasped as Dogface toppled onto his side.
The two blobs had their mouths buried in the dog’s thick fur.
Dogface kicked out once with all four legs.
And then didn’t move.
26
“They killed him! They killed him!” Kermit screamed.
“No!” Evan cried. “He’s still breathing!”
Sprawled on his side, the big dog’s chest heaved. The ugly creatures gulped hard, bobbing on top of the dog’s thick fur.
Evan and Andy dove for the dog. Evan grabbed one of the drinking creatures in both hands. He twisted it hard — then tugged it off.
The blob opened its wet mouth in an angry roar. It snapped its blue jaws at Evan.
Evan raised it up and heaved it into the sea of bobbing blue creatures that swarmed over the playground.
Then he turned to Andy. She struggled to pull off the remaining blob.
She gave a hard pull. “Yuck! This hair is so gross!” she wailed. Her hands slid off, and she stumbled back.
Dogface uttered a weak groan. The dog’s big eyes rolled crazily in his head.
Evan grabbed the hairy blob. He twisted it hard, the way he twisted the first one. He pulled up with all his strength.
The creature lifted off Dogface with a loud POP. It snarled furiously and snapped its jaws over Evan’s wrist.
“OWWW!” Evan howled in pain.
He turned and heaved the ugly creature as high and far as he could. It bounced off a tree limb, then fell into the crowd of bobbing Monster Blood creatures.
Dogface climbed quickly to his feet. He shook himself hard. He seemed to be okay.
Kermit squatted down to hug him.
Evan gazed over the playground. Monster Blood creatures swarmed over the softball field, over the volleyball courts, over the whole block!
People came out of houses and came running to the playground. Evan heard the wail of a siren — and saw a black-and-white police cruiser turn the corner. It squealed to a halt, and two dark-uniformed officers came scrambling out.
Andy bumped up against Evan. “Bad news,” she said, frowning. “I don’t think we can keep this a secret anymore.”
Evan shook his head. He knew Andy was making a joke. But this was no time to be funny.
He had been in trouble before. He had the whole town chasing him last year, when Monster Blood had turned him into a giant.
And now, Monster Blood had gotten him in major trouble once again. How could he ever explain this? What could the police do against these horrible, frightening creatures?
POP! A fat blob exploded into two.
Across the playground, people pushed closer to get a better view.
The creatures were roaring now, roaring like angry tigers. They bit at each other and chewed the ground.
The two police officers were struggling to force their way through the angry, bouncing creatures. One of the officers had a phone to his ear. Probably calling for more officers, Evan thought.
Behind him, he heard a weak cry.
Evan spun around — and gasped. Hairy blobs had leaped onto Kermit. One sat on top of Kermit’s blond hair. Two more had climbed to his shoulders. Another perched on his back.
“Help…” Kermit choked out. He thrashed his arms and tried to squirm out from under the creatures.
But they spread out over him, digging their mouths into his skin.
“Ohhhh.” Kermit uttered a groan and fell to his knees.
And several more creatures leaped onto him. They made wet sucking noises as they covered his body. Kermit disappeared beneath them.
“YAAAIIII!”
Evan heard another shrill cry. He turned to see Andy covered in hairy creatures too. She swung her fists furiously, trying to bat them away.
She ducked and squirmed and shook herself.
But they spread over her shoulders, down her arms. One of them leaped up and grabbed on to her hair. It spread itself wetly over her face.
Evan dove for Kermit. He slipped and landed hard on his knees. He grabbed at a blob on Kermit’s shoulder and tugged it.
It came off with a wet POP.
Evan grabbed for another one.
But before he could pull it off, he felt a cold, wet slap on the back of his neck.
Then he felt a heavy, wet blob thump onto his head. Cold slime ran down Evan’s face.
He reached up. Tried to grab the evil thing.
Too late.
Two more blobs leaped onto him and attached themselves to his back.
“Can’t… breathe…” Evan gasped.
The weight of the creatures pushed him down.
Down…
Facedown in the wet grass.
He dug his elbows into the ground. Tried to push up. Tried to struggle to his knees.
I’ve got to get up, he told himself. I can’t let them cover me like a blan
ket.
Like a smothering blanket…
But the creatures were too heavy. There were too many of them on him.
He let out a whimper of pain as he felt mouths biting at him. Drinking…
Choking off his air. Smothering him…
I’m doomed, Evan realized.
This time, the Monster Blood got me. This time, the Monster Blood wins.
27
The creatures covered Evan. Darkness swept over him.
He struggled to breathe.
He wondered if Kermit and Andy were being smothered beside him.
He sucked in a mouthful of air. A cold, wet blob pressed over his face. Evan couldn’t let the air out.
He heard a rush, a buzz in his ears.
The sound of my own blood, he thought. My own blood pulsing through my veins.
He suddenly felt lighter.
I’m fading, he thought.
He let out the mouthful of air.
Hey — the creature moved away from my face! Evan realized.
What’s going on?
He raised his head — and saw an amazing sight.
Kermit and Andy were climbing to their feet. The blobs had moved away from them. They had moved away — to fight the other blobs.
They’re all fighting each other! Evan saw.
Furious growls rose over the playground as the creatures bit each other, tugged at hair, at slimy blue flesh, dug their pointy teeth into each other.
With a groan, Evan climbed to his knees. He shook off his dizziness and gazed at the incredible scene.
“They’re swallowing each other!” Andy gasped. “They turned so mean, they’re going after each other!”
She’s right, Evan realized. They’re getting meaner and meaner. So mean, they’re destroying each other!
Kermit picked up his glasses from the ground. He wiped off some blades of grass, then slid them over his face. “I don’t believe it!” he cried, watching the creatures devour each other.
In minutes, the blobs had eaten each other. They had completely vanished.
The grass was covered with slime and wet tufts of black hair.
The last blob left rolled over and died, its blue flesh ripped to shreds. But nothing else remained of the hundreds of creatures.
