by Andrew Grey
“You come here before?” Luka asked.
I shook my head. “I read that it was supposed to be nice, and you worked really hard today. We both did, and I wanted to thank you.”
“What for?”
“Yesterday… at the church. I don’t think I could have gotten through that without you.” I reached across the table to take his hand. His work-roughened fingers slid along mine, and I shivered.
“We no do this here,” Luka said, looking around. “It no safe.”
When our server returned, Luka pulled his hand back.
“Are you on a date?” He smiled and turned toward the kitchen for a second. “That’s awesome!” His smile grew bright. “I’m Billy—I probably said that earlier. My partner is the chef.” He clapped his hands together. “Don’t let me interrupt anything. Just let me know if there’s anything I can bring you.” He hurried away, and I gaped for a few seconds.
“Is everyone gay here?” Luka asked.
I shrugged. “It sure seems like there are plenty of supportive people here.” That had surprised me. Central Pennsylvania had a reputation for being very conservative. “It’s nice.” I took his hand once more. “I like being on a date with you.”
Luka paled, and I wondered what I’d said wrong. “I never date before,” he said softly.
“Not back home before you left?”
He shook his head, his eyes becoming sad. “It just… sex there. I meet someone once. Sunhad. He nice. We meet few times. Then he get scared and he leave. My family find out….” He looked down at the table. “I shame them. They….” Luka seemed to be searching for the right words. I took a bite of my salad and waited as patiently as I could. “They gets backs turned to them.”
“I see.”
“I leave fast and come here. It hard. They not want let me in.” Luka ate but kept his eyes on the table.
I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb. “Have you been able to talk to your family since you came here?” I asked. Luka was clearly distressed.
“No. They no want to talk to me. I hurt them.” He lifted his gaze, his eyes filling with shame and recrimination, like a black stain on water that grew and spread until it covered them. Then I understood just how deep and harsh this situation had been for him. I’d lived my entire life knowing I was gay. I came dancing out of the closet in my teens. No one questioned who I was. My dad supported me and listened when I told him I liked boys. He practically rolled his eyes because he’d already figured it out, so this was more difficult for me to understand.
“Time has a way of lessening those hurts,” I said, hoping and wishing it were true for Luka, but not holding my breath. His family didn’t seem to understand that being gay was part of who Luka was. He didn’t have a choice in the type of person he loved.
“Time not heal this one,” Luka said with authority.
I nodded, taking his word for it. “I’m glad you’re here.” I squeezed his fingers. “You seem happy here, and I like it when you’re happy.” I pulled my hand back and finished my salad.
“I like it here.” Luka finished his salad quickly and set down his fork. “I can be who I am. Samuel teached that to me. He my friend.” Luka leaned over the table. “We not… sex friends.”
I stifled a chuckle. The words came out adorably, but I understood what Luka was trying to say, and he was being serious, even if his word use was unconventional.
“He a good man.” Luka sat back as Billy put his plate in front of him, taking away the salad dishes. Then Billy placed mine on the table, and the scent filled my nose, rich and warm, reminding me how hungry I was. “Samuel had bad feet. Walking was hard. I help him clean sometimes and carry things.”
“Uncle Samuel seemed like an amazing man.”
Luka nodded, cut a piece of his veal, and took a small bite, moaning softly. I ate some myself and had to agree. It was outstanding, savory, with a crunch from the breading, a little spice, a tang of lemon… perfect.
“Yes, but he sad sometimes. He lonely and I lonely… so I stay with him.” Luka took another bite. “He like tea. We drink it on the porch and it warm.”
“Did he ever talk about William?” I asked, curious.
“One time.” Luka set his fork down. “He say he ready to see him again. That it too long and he ready. I don’t know if he remember it, though. Sometimes Samuel drink. That night I put him in bed and he fall right to sleep. He a gentle man, but he hurt. I see it in his eyes.”
“Do you have to work at the restaurant tomorrow?”
“Yes. I come to cemetery in morning and we work. Like pirate treasure.”
That was a strange way to put it, but true. Cleaning all that out and uncovering what was underneath was like finding buried treasure. I now understood how archaeologists felt when they went into a pristine area and started digging, only to find something that had been lost to the world. These were only grave markers, but they were someone’s past, someone else’s family, relatives, and history.
“It is. We’re bringing part of the town’s past back to life.” I’d never thought working like this could be fun, but it was.
I returned my attention to the amazing meal.
“Maybe we find something tomorrow.” Luka smiled, and I reached across the table to take his hand once again.
“Maybe….” Who the heck knew what was in there?
THE REST of dinner was awesome. Our conversation ranged all over, but that didn’t matter at all. I learned that Luka worried about his family all the time, but contacting them was out of the question. That sucked and I could see it hurt him, but he was resigned to it and changed the subject as quickly as he could. I didn’t press but filed away what he’d told me.
“Are you ready to have some fun?” I asked as Billy brought the check and I handed him my credit card.
Luka seemed wary but nodded nonetheless.
I signed the slip and stood, waiting for him to head to the door.
Billy nodded, and I excused myself to use the restroom as Billy tapped Luka’s shoulder. They were talking as I left the room and still at it when I returned. Luka and Billy shook hands, and we left together.
“He say come back to talk about a job.” Luka smiled as we walked. “He say they will pay me more and they treat me good. No more grumpy waitress. He say maybe I can work up to being a server if I can work on my English.”
“Then we’ll work on it.” I unlocked the car door and waited for him to get inside.
“He say—”
“Said,” I corrected gently.
“He said to come tomorrow afternoon.” Luka bit his lower lip. “What if they mad at the Grill?”
“What if they get mad at the Grill?” I said, and he repeated after me. “They can’t hold it against you if you get a better offer. I don’t know them at all, but Billy is gay and his partner is the chef. I suspect he wouldn’t have said anything if he wasn’t serious. Go talk to him, see what he has to say.”
Luka nodded as I settled in the seat.
“I can take you when we’re done in the morning. Bring you to your apartment so you can change. That way you won’t need to walk.” I pulled out of the parking space.
“You no… don’t need to do that.”
I nodded to acknowledge his correction. “But I will. It’s no problem, and that way you can be fresh when you go in.” I headed north out of town.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a festival out at the Army Heritage Center, so I thought we’d check it out.” I made the turn that way, following GPS. We wound our way through the country and approached the back side of the center. I turned down the main road and into the crowded field with overflow parking.
“Have you been on rides like this?”
“Papa took me on a wheel when I a boy. We don’t have much, so I not able to go to festivals when they come.”
I parked the car and got out. “Well, I’m paying, so you can do anything you want. Ride all the rides, play the games. There’s
also food and beer.” I took his hand. “Tonight, it’s all about fun. Whatever you want.” I gestured toward the entrance, bought a string of ride tickets from the booth, and passed them to him.
“I pay,” Luka protested, giving them back.
“Next time, you choose.” I patted him on the shoulder and handed him the tickets. “Come on. I feel lucky.” I rubbed my hands together, and we made our way inside.
I loved carnival games. I could toss a ball really well and was handy with a gun, so I usually did well at the games. We started at a ball toss game. The color cup the ball landed in determined the prize. I paid for each of us and explained to Luka what the object was. We each only got one ball.
“I bet I get a better cup than you,” I told him, and Luka rolled his eyes before turning back to the game and tossing his ball. It bounced twice and settled in the only yellow cup, right in the center. “Show-off.”
The carny handed Luka one of the stuffed animals, and he took it quizzically. The operator didn’t seem pleased, but he made a big deal over Luka winning, hoping to drum up more business.
It was my turn. I set my gaze to where I wanted the ball to go and tossed it very gently. It bounced and landed in the same yellow cup. I jumped up and down, howling, and Luka did the same. We must have looked like idiots. The only one not happy was the operator, who handed me one of the large stuffed penguins.
“What next?”
“The shooting contest?” I asked, and we headed over. I was pretty confident I could win. Of course, the rifle they handed me had a sight that was off. None of the games were exactly fair. I compensated and hit the bull’s-eye, dead center. Then I handed it to Luka for his turn, who did the same. It seemed he and I were well matched. We collected our prizes, and, arms full, we wandered away.
“What we do with these?” Luka asked, and I started to laugh.
“I have no idea.”
“There kids in the apartment where I live. They live with their mother.” His words were very measured, like he was trying to get them exactly right. “They don’t have much.”
“Then we’ll take these over to them.” I hoisted the animals up. “Come on. Let’s take these back to the car. Then we can go on the rides and eat until we get sick.”
We dropped the animals in the back seat, then queued up for the Ferris wheel. We shouted with glee at the top. The tilt-a-whirl was next, and I damn near christened the thing the tilt-a-hurl. I stumbled off, and Luka held me around the waist. My head spun for a while and then settled down. After that, we avoided the spinny ones. Luka and I got on the huge up-and-down ride that took us high in the air, and disembarked giddy and laughing our butts off.
“If we do that again, I’m going to lose my dinner.” How it had stayed down to that point, I had no idea. That ride was both fun and scary as hell. Luka, on the other hand, had laughed the entire time, whooping and giggling. It was worth every second of terror just to see him happy.
“What next?” Luka asked.
“We have enough tickets for one more ride.” I pressed the tickets into his hand. “Go take the ride you want, and then we can have some food and get a beer.” I watched him go and noticed a woman standing near me, her gaze never leaving Luka as he strode into the line for another ride on the terrible vominator we’d just gotten off.
“Wow,” she said under her breath.
“You got that right,” I told her, because damn….
She turned to me. “Is he with you?”
I nodded.
“Dang it all. They are all either gay or married.” She sighed, winked at me, and wandered off.
I waited for Luka, and when he returned, we got some fries and a couple of beers and sat at a table.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing to a sweet stand.
“Cotton candy. You’ve never had any?” I jumped up, bought a bag of the pink stuff, and brought it back to the table. We finished the fries and opened the bag. Luka pinched off some and stuck it in his mouth, then went for a second bite. I took some. It tasted awful with the beer, but we ate it anyway. Well, Luka ate most of it. He seemed to have a real sweet tooth. “What do you want to do now?”
Luka shrugged. “More games?”
“Sure. The car is pretty full, though.” There wasn’t much room left in the back seat. We’d already filled it with prizes.
“I no… don’t want this to end. It fun.”
Now that was the reaction I’d been hoping for. “We can go to the house if you like, sit on the porch, have another beer… talk… relax.”
Luka nodded, and I gathered the trash in the cotton candy bag, then tossed it away. We returned to the car, and I was about to open the door when Luka wound his arms around my waist. I turned, and he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply. I leaned back against the car, and he pressed to me harder, sliding his tongue along my lips. His lips were sweet from the candy, and the warm air had nothing on the heat Luka generated around me.
He pulled away to get into the car, and I blinked, forcing my knees not to buckle. I slid into the car on autopilot and waited for my head to stop spinning. I gripped the wheel as tightly as I could, breathing deeply. Wow. Trying to think after being kissed by Luka was damn near impossible. My mind cleared after a few seconds, and I started the car, pulled out of the lot, and headed back toward Uncle Samuel’s house.
“I like it here,” Luka said as we got out. “Me and Samuel sat on the porch, talking sometimes.” He sat down.
I unlocked the house, grabbed a couple of beers, and joined Luka in the wicker love seat, putting my feet on the table. “I always wanted a porch like this with a swing.” I turned to the hanging white swing at the far end. “Uncle Samuel had it when I visited last, and I remember rocking in it, lying down, looking up at the ceiling.” I had so few memories of him that I could catalog them on one hand. “He used to come out here in the evening and sit. I don’t smell it in the house so he must have stopped, but he used to smoke a pipe sometimes. He had this cherry-flavored tobacco, and it always made me hungry.”
“I never see him smoke,” Luka said, and I figured he must have given it up some time ago.
“It’s all I remember.” I closed my eyes, taking a sip of beer as a rumble sounded in the distance. I opened my eyes in time to see a flash of light to the west. A storm was rolling in. Anxiety rose in me. I was getting tired of these storms.
Luka placed his hand on my knee. “This just rain.” He patted my leg and kept his hand there as the thunder came closer. I kept my eyes closed as the wind rustled the trees and then drops of rain fell all around, colliding with leaves, grass, and sidewalk. The scent shifted to earthy wetness before the sky opened and rain spattered all around. Thunder continued rumbling, but this was just a summer rainstorm, nothing like what had rolled through a few days ago.
The thunder passed on, the rain continued, and I relaxed once again, attention settling on Luka’s touch. “How do you do that?”
“What?” Luka breathed above the rain.
“Know what to do to make me feel safe.” It was hard to admit how out of control I was. Everything was different here. I understood the city and my life there, but here… I had little to do, and my footing didn’t seem so sure anymore. But Luka made the world seem more secure. His touch could ground me, and that both soothed and frightened me. I was used to relying on myself, though I could easily come to lean on him. All my life I did things the way I wanted, made my own way, followed my own path.
I sat back, listening to the rain, letting go with the sound, falling half asleep. Luka sat next to me, his head resting on my shoulder. The rain continued, and I relaxed almost completely. This was the perfect spot, quiet and peaceful. The city offered a constant source of energy that always seemed to zoom around me. My work required heavy concentration and a high amount of energy. I had never thought about it before, but I lived my life in the fast lane, always on the move. Here, for a few days, life was slower and I could catch my breath.
Luka sli
pped his arms around me. He held me close and didn’t move. The rain continued and we sat together in silence. “Jonah.”
“What do you want?” I asked into the shadows from the streetlight, dimmed by the trees around it. “What are you expecting from me?”
“I do not understand,” Luka said without moving.
“What do you want? You’re here now, we’ve….” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
“Made love?” Luka asked.
I nodded. “Yes. What do you want?” I shifted, and Luka held me tighter.
He sighed, his breath tickling my ear. “What everyone want. I want a home that is safe. I want my family and not to bring shame.” His voice cracked, and I wrapped my arms around him. I wished I could give him that. “I want be happy and have someone who is mine.” He tightened his hold, and I knew what he meant. He wanted me, but he hadn’t actually said the words. At least I thought he did. But what did I want?
It was easy, sitting here in the quiet. I could hold Luka and there was no one to challenge us or interfere. Here, my life was simple and I could have what I wanted, at least for now. But things weren’t going to stay that way forever.
Luka slowly stood, took my hand, and tugged me to my feet. I followed him inside, then locked the door. Luka led me up the stairs to my bedroom. “You ask what I want. But what important is what you want.” Luka pressed me back onto the bed as heat and excitement welled inside me to epic heights.
Chapter 6
“WHAT IS this?” Luka pointed as four men and two women walked toward where we were working.
“Emma?” I asked as she came forward.
She took my hand. “I saw you working yesterday and made some phone calls. We’re here to help. Most of the group will clear trees and brush, and Elaine and I will help clear away the vines.” She grinned. “You’ve already made great progress.”
“Thank you.”
“Every one of these people knew Samuel and worked with him. He wanted to do this, so we can do this for him.” She smiled and took charge of her team. They all got to work toward the street while Luka started up the chipper and I tugged branches and brush to him.
