by Mercy Amare
“Fine. I’ll stay,” I say, putting my phone down. “For now.”
“Good,” he says, looking relieved.
I feel better knowing that he knows. At least I’m not alone.
“I actually came here to ask you if you were coming to the mixer tonight,” he says.
“Mixer?” I ask.
“Yeah. It’s where everybody from the school gets together and just hangs out. There will be music, food, and games. It’s a great way to meet everybody.”
“And you will be there?” I ask, feeling nervous about hanging out with new people I don’t know.
“Yeah,” he says. “I can walk with you there, and we can hang out together. I can introduce you to people.”
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll go.”
He smiles. “Good.”
6 p.m.
Teenagers talk about sex.
Winston shows up at my dorm room right at six. This time, I don’t freak out when he knocks. I keep my gun in my purse, but I do sling my purse over my shoulder. Agent Kim told me to keep the gun with me at all times. Besides, it does make me feel safer.
“You look beautiful,” Winston says when he sees me.
I changed out of the jeans I was wearing earlier. Agent Kim made me wear them. Apparently skinny jeans are popular in America, but I hate them. They’re so... tight. I always wore skirts in Korea, so I’m a lot more comfortable now.
I put on a pink mini skirt with a black tank top. Then I felt weird showing off my shoulders. I guess it’s normal for Americans, but it’s too weird for me. I don’t want to be immodest, so I put on a black shrug over the tank.
“Hot?” I ask, joking.
He laughs. “Yes, very. But I feel like maybe I described the word inaccurately before.”
“Oh?”
“Hot girls aren’t necessarily beautiful,” he says.
“So hot is just used to describe a female?” I ask.
“No. It can go either way,” he says. “Hot is sort of another way of saying sexy.”
I blush when he says that, because I know that sexy is a way of describing somebody you’re sexually attracted to.
“Oh,” I say, not knowing what else to say.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” he asks.
“A little,” I answer. “I knew American teenagers were very outspoken, but I wasn’t prepared for it, I guess.”
“Outspoken?” he asks. “Oh, God. You haven’t heard anything yet. I am not that outspoken.”
“Do they all talk about...” I drop my voice to a whisper, even though nobody else is in my dorm room to hear. “Sex?”
Winston busts out laughing, making me blush even more.
“What?” I ask.
“Yes. Teenagers talk about sex. A lot,” he says. “What do Korean teenagers talk about if they don’t talk about sex?”
“Normal stuff. Movies, books, idol groups...”
“Idol groups?” he asks.
“Oh, right,” I say. “I forgot, they call idol groups pop groups in America. Or bands. I don’t know.”
“So, do Korean teenagers just not have sex?”
I choke on the air. “No. I mean, less than four percent of Korean girls have sex while they’re still in high school. It’s not something we really have time for. When I lived in Korea, I went to school from seven a.m. until about eight p.m., and then I went home and studied until midnight. I never had time for boys. And when I did have spare time, I would hang out with my girlfriends.”
“Why did you go to school so long?” he asks.
“Well, I had regular school during the day, and special school at night,” I answer.
“Special school?”
“Like, where I learned to speak Japanese and I studied advanced math—”
He cuts me off. “You speak Japanese?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“That’s crazy,” he says. “You’re trilingual?”
“Yeah. My Japanese isn’t perfect like my English and Korean, but it’s good. When I went there, I had no problems communicating with people,” I tell him. “If I spent a few months in Japan, I figure that if somebody talked to me on the phone, they’d never know I wasn’t Japanese.”
Winston looks at me with his mouth open.
“What?” I ask.
“You’re kind of amazing,” he says.
“I am?” I ask.
He nods. “I can only speak one language fluently.”
“I studied hard.”
“I can tell,” he says. “So, you studied advanced math?”
“Yes,” I answer. “I also know advanced jujitsu, and I studied dance. The dance was more for fun, though.”
“Speaking of dancing,” he says, “there is a welcome back to school dance tomorrow night.”
“Cool,” I say, even though I think it’s weird they have school dances. They would never do something like that in Korea.
“Do you want to go with me?” he asks.
“Definitely,” I answer, because the thought of going alone makes me want to puke.
“I guess we should head to the mixer,” Winston says, looking at the time on his phone.
“Okay,” I say, getting up to follow him.
Tonight will be fun.
I hope.
7 p.m.
Net worth.
When we get there, there are a lot of people already there. Music is playing lightly in the background. It’s a popular American song that I recognize.
I’m nervous to be here and meet new people.
Meeting people in Korea was different. I was outgoing and had friends. But I was raised there. What I’ve learned about American culture has been taught to me. It hasn’t been from watching and interacting with my peers. I feel like an impostor when I act American.
I just want to go back home.
“You okay?” Winston asks me.
I shrug.
“What’s wrong?”
“The reason I had to leave Seoul was because the terrorist group found my school,” I tell him. “My best friend was killed, along with a few other students and teachers. I guess I’m just scared to get too attached to people here. What if they find me again?”
“They won’t,” Winston says. “You’re safe here.”
I nod, but I don’t believe him. I know that he’s just saying it to make me feel better. There is a real possibility they could find me here. They’re more determined than ever to find me, now.
“Are you sure you want to be my friend?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t I want to be?”
“Because of what happened to my best friend before,” I answer, not wanting to think about her. I miss her so much.
“Not even a group of terrorists would make me not want to be your friend,” he says. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good,” I say, because I really like having Winston as a friend, so far.
And, sure, maybe telling him the truth was a really bad idea, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad. It’s nice to be able to open up about it to somebody.
Winston takes me around to groups of people and starts introducing me. I soon realize that he knows everybody, and they all seem to like him. I wonder why he said he didn’t have any friends. He was clearly wrong about that.
“You so lied,” I tell him, once we step away from a couple of guys he introduced me to. I’ve already forgotten their names. Why are American names so hard to remember?
“About what?” he asks.
“About not having friends,” I say. “You clearly have a lot of friends.”
“My dad is a politician. I know how to be friendly,” he says. “I just don’t have any close friends. Like, none that I really hang out with.”
“Everybody seems to like you.”
He shrugs.
“So, what kind of politics does your dad do?” I ask.
“He’s the senator of Massachusetts,” Winston answers. “He’s considering running for president in the ne
xt election.”
“President... like of the country?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“That’s crazy,” I say.
Winston starts to say something else, but he’s cut off when a dark-headed guy walks up to us. He’s tall, and kind of looks like an American movie star I’ve seen before, but can’t remember the name of the actor.
“Brody, hey,” Winston says.
“Hey,” he says back, then looks at me. “Are you new?”
I nod. “I’m Pandora Hart.”
“Cool,” he says. “Japanese girls are hot.”
“I’m Korean.”
Brody isn’t listening, though. He’s already turning his attention to Winston. “What’s the deal with the other new girl?”
“Who are you talking about?” Winston asks.
Brody points at a brunette girl who is standing by a guy with brown hair. The guy has his eyes on the girl, but the girl doesn’t notice. She’s watching people around her, almost as if she’s jealous of the students that are having fun.
I wonder what’s happened to make her so sad.
“That’s Preston Rivera’s daughter,” Winston says. “Her name is Jinger. I don’t know much about her other than that.”
“Rivera, wow,” Brody says, then grins. “Thanks, Winston.” He looks at me and winks. “Later, Sailor Moon.”
Brody walks off, and I curse at him in Korean.
“What did you just say?” Winston asks me.
I grin. “I guess you’ll have to learn Korean and figure it out yourself.”
He laughs. “Sorry about Brody. He’s spoiled and rich, as are most of the kids at this school. It’s a small school, only three hundred and fifty students, so it’s pretty exclusive. You have to know somebody to get in here.”
“The CIA set it up for me,” I say. “I’m not rich. Maybe my dad is, I don’t know. I don’t see him that often and we don’t really talk about his financial situation. The family I stayed with in South Korea was middle class.”
“Wow. Somebody who doesn’t know their own net worth,” Winston says. “I like you even more, now.”
“I don’t think a net worth means anything. I mean, my dad ditched me, and I was raised by somebody who isn’t my family because he didn’t want to give up his job in the CIA,” I tell him. “I’d give up every piece of material possessions I own just to have him notice me once. How pathetic is that?”
“That’s not pathetic,” he says. “You’re not the only one ignored by your dad.”
I frown at his words.
“What about your mom?” he asks.
“Remember when I told you I first went into hiding when I was five?”
He nods.
“Well, my mom never got the opportunity to go into hiding,” I say. “She died.”
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I shrug. “It was a long time ago.”
“Doesn’t make it any less of a tragedy,” he says. “Do you know what happened?”
I nod. “I don’t really like to talk about it. I was there when it happened.”
He opens his mouth to say something.
But I’ve heard it all.
I don’t need sympathy.
“What is your mom like?” I ask, abruptly changing the subject.
“She’s awesome. Completely makes up for my absent father,” Winston answers.
“Maybe I can meet her,” I say.
He nods. “Definitely.”
A blond guy walks up and slings his arm around me.
“Yo, Winston, this your girl?” he asks.
I put my jujitsu training to good use. I grab the guy’s arm and flip him over my shoulder onto the floor. I pin him down by holding a pressure point on his neck. He fights against me, but he’s not able to get up.
“Touch me again, and I’ll make sure you can’t walk for a month,” I say. “Got it?”
“I have no idea what you just said,” he says. “Just please, let me up.”
Apparently, when I’m angry, I speak Korean. “I said don’t touch me. If you do, next time it’ll be a lot worse.”
“Yeah, okay. I won’t,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
I take the pressure off him and stand up. He lies on the ground for a few seconds before getting up.
Winston stares at me with his mouth open. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow,” the boy says. “That was probably the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me. I bet you like it rough.”
I look at him. “Like what rough?”
He laughs, then sticks out his hand. “I’m Drew.”
“Pandora,” I reply, not accepting his hand shake.
Drew turns to Winston. “Is she your girlfriend? I hope not. Cause, you know, I have a thing for Asian girls.” He looks back at me. “Are you Chinese? You must be. That was some seriously kick ass karate moves.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m Korean.”
“Well, Kon’nichiwa, baby,” Drew says.
“That’s Japanese,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Huh,” he says, rubbing his chin. “Well, maybe you can teach me some Korean. Tonight. I’ll sneak into your dorm after curfew.”
“She’s with me,” Winston says, stepping closer. He gently grabs my hand, giving me a chance to pull away if I want to. I don’t, because I will do about anything to get this blond guy to go away.
“Way to go, Winston,” Drew says. “Maybe she’ll help loosen you up. You’re way too uptight.”
“We’ll see you later,” Winston says.
Before the words are out of Winston’s mouth, Drew is already gone, on his way to the next female victim.
“He was annoying,” I say, letting go of Winston’s hand.
Winston nods in agreement.
“He was wrong, too. You’re not uptight,” I say.
“Everybody says I am.”
“They’re wrong. They just haven’t taken the time to get to know you.”
“I’m glad you came here,” Winston says, smiling at me.
“Me, too,” I say. “I mean, I miss home, but this is definitely a good alternative.”
“Do you think you’ll ever move back to South Korea?” he asks.
“Definitely,” I answer. “America is nice, but it’s not home.”
“I understand,” he says. “I think about moving when I’m older, but I know I’ll probably always live in in Massachusetts. My dad is the senator, so I’ll be expected to go to a Massachusetts college—Harvard, of course. He wants me to get my law degree and eventually become president of the United States. Basically, he wants me to be him.”
“Is that what you want?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Maybe. I like politics. I could definitely see myself doing that in the future, but I want to feel like I have a choice. And I don’t want to be pushed into it. I want to travel. I want to go back to visit South Korea someday.”
“I’ll be your tour guide,” I say.
“Deal,” he says.
“Tell your dad that you want to travel. I don’t think he will care as long as you do well in school,” I say. “Now is the time that you should be doing the things you want to do. That’s why I took dance instead of learning a fourth language. It was something that I really wanted to do.”
Winston grins. “What would be your fourth language to learn?”
“Russian,” I answer. “I don’t know why, but I love their accents. I feel like it would be a challenge. So, someday, I will learn it. After I master Japanese.”
“I know I say this a lot, but you’re awesome.”
“Thanks,” I say, remembering my ‘American’ manners. “But I’m really not that awesome. I was tenth in my class in South Korea.”
“Tenth is not bad,” he says.
“It’s just... average. In Korea, if you want to go to a good college, you really have to stand out.”
“Here, you only have to have rich parents.”
“I would like to go to a good college in Korea,” I tell
him. “After that, maybe I’ll join the CIA like my dad.”
“What does your dad do for the CIA?” he asks.
“I’m not exactly sure,” I answer. “I mean, I had no idea my dad even worked for the government until a terrorist group showed up at our house. I should have known, but I was only five. When I was little, my dad used to do these drills with me. There was a tunnel under our house. It was hidden. But if anything bad were to happen, I knew I was supposed to go into the tunnel and run away from the house as fast as I could. I used to think it was fun. My dad would always try to get me to run faster. I miss those days. I didn’t realize then that someday I would have to use those tunnels.”
“So a group of terrorist found your house?” he asks.
I nod. “I don’t know the details around it all. Even though it’s happened to me, the CIA doesn’t think I’m privileged enough to know. Which sucks. But, I mean, maybe they have a point. I’ve been here, like, twelve hours and I’ve pretty much already told you everything I know.”
“Did your friends in South Korea know?”
I shake my head. “I moved there when I was five. They kept me sheltered from everybody for the first few months that I got there. I mean, my mom had just died in a pretty traumatic way, and I had a new identity. It was overwhelming. They explained to me that if I told anybody, that they could die. So, I kept it a secret. Which, obviously, didn’t keep my best friend from dying. But, when I was there, I truly became Lee Suel Ri. I don’t feel like I am the person I was born as.”
“Lee Suel Ri is your Korean name?”
I nod. “Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Well, I won’t tell anybody.”
“I know,” I say. “I don’t know why I trust you, but I do.”
“Good. I really like you,” he says. “I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Me, too.”
11 p.m.
Thumb ladder?
Agent Kim gave me two rules that I absolutely have to follow while I’m at New Haven Academy. The first—don’t reveal my identity to anybody. The second—don’t do anything that could possibly get me kicked out of school. I’ve already broken both of those rules.
