by Sam Sisavath
“I’ll tell you later,” he said.
“Tell me now,” she insisted. “Unless there wasn’t a joke.”
“There’s a joke.”
“So tell me.”
He sighed. “There wasn’t a joke.”
“So why did you smile at me?”
“Because you’re pretty.”
She laughed. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he said, glancing at her briefly.
“Yeah, okay,” she said, and she might have smiled to herself, but he couldn’t be sure because she turned her head away.
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked.
“Down here?” she said, looking a bit stumped by the question.
“You spend time somewhere else but down here?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” She didn’t answer him right away. After a few more steps in silence, she said, “No.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Yeah?” She glanced over at him, and this time he was sure she smiled.
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Just in case.”
“In case of what?”
“You never know.”
They reached the Control Room, and as soon as they entered, they heard a small, female voice. For a moment, he thought the guys had let a little girl into the room. Except the voice was coming from a ham radio on a shelf on the back wall, broadcasting from somewhere nearby.
It was a young female voice, and he recognized it as belonging to a child.
“Hello? Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me? Please, if you can hear me, we need help. We’re running out of supplies and my brother is hurt. I’m all alone now. Is anyone there…?”
CHAPTER 32
LARA
LARA’S FATHER WAS an amateur radio operator when she was a kid, though he gave it up when his only daughter didn’t find it quite as interesting as she once did, when she sat on his knee to see the blinking lights. This ham radio looked much more sophisticated than her father’s, with a ridiculous amount of buttons, LED readings, and dials. She recognized the receiver, though, which hadn’t changed much over the years.
“Hello? Is anyone there? Please, we need help. My brother is hurt. I think he’s hurt real bad. Is anyone out there?”
The girl’s voice was young and frail. It came through clear on the radio, but didn’t really tell her anything. The voice could be from as nearby as Starch or from halfway across the globe. That was the charm of a ham radio—the ability to reach the world without ever leaving your basement.
Ben was there with Davies, the man who usually worked the Control Room’s afternoon shifts, both of them looking at the radio but neither moving to answer it.
“She started broadcasting a few minutes ago,” Ben said. “We usually leave the radio on all day, with the unit set to automatically scroll across the bands every few minutes in case someone tries to make contact. It’s connected to an antenna in the woods.”
“Has anyone made contact before?” Will asked.
“This is the first time we’ve heard from another living soul out there. We almost missed it, too. Davies was about to leave for the day.”
“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Lara asked.
“That’s why I told Will to bring you,” Ben said. “I was hoping you would answer her. I don’t want to spook her. She sounds like a little kid.”
She nodded. It made sense. Kids usually responded better to a female presence.
She picked up the microphone and pushed the push-to-talk lever on its side. She took a breath. “Hello?”
She depressed the lever to let the girl talk, but there was no voice from the other end. She waited, then looked to Will for confirmation. He gave her an encouraging nod and she pressed the lever and spoke into the receiver again.
“Hello, I can hear you. My name is Lara. What’s your name?”
No response.
Lara waited a few more seconds, and was about to press the lever again when the voice suddenly came back.
“Elise. My name’s Elise.”
Lara breathed a sigh of relief. “Elise. It’s nice to meet you. How old are you?”
“Eight.”
“Are you alone, Elise? You said your brother was with you.”
“Todd…”
“Is Todd hurt?”
“Yes. He’s hurt bad.”
“How old is Todd, Elise?”
“Fifteen. But he’s going to be sixteen in two days. I won’t get a chance to find him a present or anything.”
“I’m sure he knows you tried your best,” Lara said. She was thankful the men hadn’t crowded around her. She took another deep breath, then pressed the receiver again. “Where are you now, Elise? Can you tell me?”
“I’m underneath the school. In the basement. We both are.”
“What school, Elise?”
“The high school.”
She thought about Vera and tried to picture her in Elise’s position. Small, vulnerable, and scared. Not alone, but she might as well be with her brother hurt. Patience was the key here.
“What is the name of the school, Elise? Do you know?”
“Dansby High School.”
Lara looked over at the men. Davies was nodding his head. “Dansby is a town about ten miles up the highway. I know that high school—I’ve been to football games there.”
She turned back to the receiver. “We know where the school is, Elise. Are you okay?”
“Todd’s hurt…”
“But are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I think so.” The girl’s voice seemed to drop another level when she said, “Lara?”
“Yes, Elise. I’m here.”
“Can you save us?”
Lara felt her heart break. It took her a moment, before she could be sure her voice wouldn’t quiver when she answered. “Yes, Elise. We’ll save you. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She looked at the men. Will nodded again, encouraging her to keep going. She turned back to the radio. “Is Todd there? Can I speak to Todd, Elise?”
“He’s asleep,” Elise said. “He’s hurt real bad and took some medicine and now he’s sleeping. He’s been sleeping all day.”
“Okay, that’s fine. He’s probably just tired from the medicine. I need you to listen to me carefully, Elise.”
“Okay…”
Lara glanced down at her watch. 4:15 p.m.
“I want you to stay exactly where you are and don’t go anywhere, okay? You’re very close to us, and we can come and get you very soon. Understand, sweetheart? Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.”
“What will you do until I get there?”
“Stay still. Don’t go out.”
“That’s good, sweetheart. I want you to stay exactly where you are. Do you have any food left?”
“A little bit…”
“Enough for the day?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Okay, I want you to make sure it lasts for at least one more day, because that’s all it’s going to take for me to get to you.”
“Please hurry.”
“I will. And Elise?”
“Yes?” the girl replied, the hope in her voice making Lara’s chest heave.
“Just hold on a little while longer, sweetheart. I’ll come get you. I promise.”
“Hurry, Lara.”
She released the lever and looked at Will. “I’m going to go get her,” she said softly, but with absolute certainty.
He nodded back. “We’ll go with you, but not today. It’s two hours until sundown. We need to carve out as much sunlight as possible to get there and back. Until then, see what else you can get from her.”
Lara nodded. He was right, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear, or to turn back to the radio and tell Elise. But she did, doing her very best to reassure the girl that she would be there. Not today, but tomorrow.
&
nbsp; Tomorrow…
*
She spent another two hours talking to Elise, comforting the girl and reassuring her that they would be there tomorrow. She didn’t let the girl go—she didn’t want to let her go—until she heard Elise yawn. Lara told her to go to sleep and turn off the radio so it didn’t make any noise. By the time she left the Control Room, she couldn’t remember ever having felt so hopeful since all of this began.
Will followed her back to the Infirmary, where he watched her pace back and forth in the middle of the room. Trying to wear out the carpet, her mom would have said, except there wasn’t any carpet in the facility, only hard, solid concrete. She hadn’t realized how much she missed carpet until now.
“You did a good job preparing her for tonight,” Will said. “She’ll be fine until we can get there tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” she said, nodding. Knowing and accepting weren’t the same thing. “I’m going with you.”
“Of course you are.”
“I mean it, Will. Don’t even think about leaving without me.”
“I won’t. But you should get some sleep. Take some of those sleeping pills. Tomorrow might be a long day.”
“Davies said it’s only ten miles up the highway. Less than an hour there and back.”
“There’s a lot between here and there. You know my motto. Hope for the best—”
“—prepare for the worst,” Lara finished. “I know. Like at the bank. Plan Z?”
“It worked, didn’t it?”
“Barely.” She gave him a teasing smile. “I was surprised I didn’t wake up buried underneath a ton of rubble.”
“It was close there for a moment.”
“But you got us through it.”
He nodded.
“You always get us through, Will.” She stopped pacing and gazed across the room at him. “I trust you.”
“That’s good to know.”
“But I don’t think I’ve ever said it. I trust you. Carly and Vera and Danny. They trust you, too. Explicitly. Ted and Luke did, too, and even Kate, before…”
She didn’t finish, and Will nodded silently. She wished she hadn’t brought up Kate’s name. She knew things had changed between them. They all knew, because Kate rarely came out of her room anymore. Lara knew most of this through Carly. They had become friends, though Lara was always cognizant that Kate was Carly’s friend first.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to bring up Kate.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“The point is,” she said, hoping to get beyond her mistake, “I trust you. Because you’re Will.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know what that means.”
She watched him for a moment. He had such gentle eyes, despite all the violence he was capable of, and she often found herself feeling relieved whenever she saw him for some reason. On the rare days she didn’t see him in the last three months, whether in the Cafeteria for meals, or in her Infirmary for check-ups, her mind wandered to him—what was he doing, was he alright? Whenever the Door opened—it was impossible not to hear it—she knew he was leaving, because he always volunteered to go out. And when she heard it open again later that day, she knew he was back and held her breath, hoping no one called her on the radio because they needed her assistance.
Before she knew what she was doing, Lara walked across the room and kissed him on the mouth.
He didn’t respond at first, and panic rose inside her. She tried to pull away, but then his hands slipped into her hair and he pulled her mouth tighter against his, kissing her back. She was suddenly flushed and breathless as they stood like that for a while, mouths locked, until finally she had to put her hands against his chest and pushed him away slightly, in order to catch her breath.
She laughed and blushed at the same time. It had been so long.
“Okay, that isn’t quite the reaction a guy wants after a kiss,” he said.
She stopped laughing. “It was a great kiss.”
“I can tell. Because you laughed.”
“I didn’t mean to laugh.”
He gave her a disbelieving smirk. “Prove it.”
“Okay,” she said and kissed him on the mouth again.
He didn’t hesitate this time. His hands moved down to her waist, slipped underneath her shirt, and touched her skin. She leaned farther against him, their mouths locked. His hands traveled upwards, and she sighed as his fingers touched her breasts.
But then suddenly the warmth and pleasure and anticipation of intimacy fled in a heartbeat and she was seized with fear and terror.
Her body must have tensed up noticeably because he stopped and pulled back slightly and looked at her, concern in his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“I can’t,” she whispered.
She wanted to. She was sure of it when she kissed him, and even more sure of it when he kissed her back. But now…
“I can’t,” she said again, hoping that he would understand. “Not yet.”
She had never told him about what happened with the Sundays. Not the details, anyway. She hadn’t told anyone, not Kate or Carly, but she thought that they knew anyway. It was impossible not to.
Looking into his eyes now, she felt embarrassed and ashamed, and tried to pull away from him, but he held onto her and wouldn’t let her go. “Stop. Lara, stop.”
She looked back at him. She expected to see accusing eyes staring back at her, chastising her for leading him on and then trying to flee. But she didn’t. Instead, he folded both hands over hers and squeezed softly.
“Okay,” he said. “Not until you’re ready. Only when you’re ready.”
He pulled her closer to him and kissed her softly on the lips, so gently that she barely felt the contact. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her tightly, protectively. She wanted to stay like that forever.
“Stay with me,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
*
He stayed with her through the night. They slept in his room, on the small cot that didn’t feel nearly big enough for him, much less the both of them. Somehow they made it fit, and she slid easily against his chest in the semidarkness. Both of them still clothed, with only the lamp glowing quietly in the corner of the concrete room. He must have kicked the blanket to the floor sometime in the night. Not that they needed it. The room, like every inch of the facility, was perfectly balanced between hot and cold.
She listened to him breathe, the steady rise and fall of his chest below her. He stroked her hair, his calm breath against her every few seconds, the predictable rhythm of it soothing.
She hadn’t realized how much she missed the presence of another person against her. It seemed so long since she arrived here, and between working in the Infirmary and all the odd jobs she had found to occupy her time—the Green Room with Rose taking up most of it—she realized how much she missed this.
Missed the physical human contact.
She was sure he would bring it up sometime in the night, but he never did. Will seemed content to let it go unspoken. She knew she would have to talk about it sooner or later, and he probably knew that, too.
But he didn’t push it, or approach it, and she was grateful for that.
After a few hours of lying against him in the darkness in silence, Lara decided it was time to stop hiding.
“He raped me,” she said softly.
She waited for him to reply, but he didn’t say anything. Had he drifted off to sleep? No. She could still feel the stroke of his fingers against her hair and the steady rhythm of his breathing underneath her.
He was letting her talk.
“John. The one Danny killed in the woods. He raped me twice, then I guess he got tired of me. I think the only reason he did it in the first place was to let me know my place. I don’t think he even enjoyed it. After that, the only reason he kept me around was to clean and cook for them. And because I told him I was a medical student. I saw them bring two other girls to the cabin afterwards, then in
the morning they were gone.”
She paused. Should she stop? Or keep going? What did he want to hear? How much did she want him to know?
She needed to keep going.
“When I dream about the night I killed Jack, I switch their faces. It’s John that I’m shooting. I’ve never fired a gun before that day, and in the dream, I’m surprised by how much it kicks. But it doesn’t stop me from pulling the trigger over and over again. Even in my dreams, I’m so afraid of him, that he’ll get back up and hurt me again. So I beat him with the gun until he’s bloody and there’s nothing left of his face.”
She stopped. Did his body just tense up? No, that was just her imagination. He hadn’t moved at all, hadn’t reacted at all. He continued to stroke her hair and breathe in the same steady pace.
“Say something,” she whispered, desperate to hear his voice.
He stirred underneath her, and his arms tightened around her body. She lifted her head, placed her chin on his chest and looked up at him. It was dark, but she could still see his eyes and the curve of his lips, and she was sure he was looking at her, too.
In the darkness, he said, “You’re with me now.”
She waited for him to say more, but he didn’t.
That was it. Four words.
It was all he wanted to say. All he needed to say.
She wanted more, but there was no more. She let those four words sink in and realized it was all she needed to hear from him. They were comforting and freeing and protective all at the same time.
She laid her cheek back against his chest and dozed off soon after.
She woke up again sometime around midnight, and for a moment forgot where she was. The slow, calm rhythm of his breathing and the rise and fall of his heartbeat reminded her that she was still in his room, on his bed, sleeping against him. His arms still wrapped around her, tight and protective, warm and secure, and so familiar and natural that she wondered how she ever managed without them.
“You’re with me now,” he had said.
She smiled in the darkness and drifted back to sleep.
CHAPTER 33
WILL
THEY GATHERED IN full gear in the Entrance Hallway, at the bottom steps of the Door, Will doing the same last-minute checks on his weapons and equipment that he always did before a mission. He carried the Remington 870 with him, the tactical shotgun complementing his M4A1, with the Glock in a hip holster. It was his standard gear, though in the Army he carried a Sig Sauer 229, but he had become a convert to the Glock in civilian life.
