She wasn’t, though.
She felt shaken and unsure, every thought she’d had about schoolgirl crushes and puppy love making her want to crawl under the seat and hide.
Which was silly and childish.
Being attracted to Hunter wasn’t a crime.
But it might get her into way more trouble than she wanted.
“Do you have another word for it?” he asked as he backed out of the driveway.
“‘Intimidation tactics’? ‘Attacks’?”
“Those work,” he conceded, shooting a quick smile in her direction. He had a fantastic smile. The kind that changed his face from stern and unapproachable to warm and inviting.
She looked away, focusing her attention on the world outside the window.
“Did you mean what you said about me visiting my parents, Hunter?” she asked. Anything to keep the conversation going, keep silence from taking hold of them. She didn’t want to sit quietly the entire trip back, thinking about what he’d said, what she’d felt, what it all meant.
“I told you that I did.”
“Can I tell them?” Her parents would be ecstatic. It had been a year since she’d seen them. In that time, Sophia had gone from being a baby to being a toddler. Hunter had agreed to forward photos on a couple of occasions, but pictures weren’t the same as seeing someone in person.
“You know the rules. No contact with family members as long as you’re in the program.”
“I know the rules. I’m just getting tired of following them.”
“It’s only—”
“A couple more weeks.” She sighed. “Trust me. I know. I’ve had the date memorized for months. How did your meeting go?”
“Good. Bud is going to put his ear to the ground, listen for any rumors. He worked for the marshals for years, and he has contacts all over the city. It’s possible someone on the streets has heard rumors about a rogue marshal. If so, Bud is the guy who can find out.”
“He’s retired?”
“Supposedly.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means he retired a year ago, but we call him in when we have particularly tough cases. Like yours.”
“I thought mine was pretty straightforward.”
“It was until someone found you. Twice.” He merged onto the highway, the sun high overhead, the sky gray-blue and dotted with clouds. A beautiful day. She wanted to take Sophia to a park, put her in a baby swing and listen to her squeal in delight. She wanted to take her to the grocery store, let her pretend to steer the little car cart while she shopped for groceries.
What she didn’t want to do was go back to Hunter and Burke’s place.
She rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the terrible ache behind her eyes.
“Headache?” Hunter asked, resting his hand on her nape.
“Yes.”
“I’m not surprised. Your muscles are coiled like a rattlesnake ready to strike.” He kneaded the tight muscles at the base of her neck.
It felt so good, she almost closed her eyes, leaned back into his hand. Gave herself over to another person’s touch.
She stiffened, forcing herself not to melt.
“Relax,” he said. “If you’re tense, it defeats the whole purpose of a neck massage.”
“I am relaxed.”
“Right.”
“I am.”
“Then why are your hands fisted, and why do you look like you’re ready to jump out of the SUV?” His hand dropped away, and she told herself she was glad, but she wasn’t sure it was true.
“I guess I’ve been tense for so many months, I’ve forgotten what relaxed feels like.” That was the truth.
“I’m sorry, Annie. I wish things were different.” He glanced in the rearview mirror and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Probably nothing.”
“Then why do you look like it’s something?” She craned her neck to see what was behind them. The highway was filled with commuter traffic. Trucks. Cars. Vans. She didn’t know what she was looking for, but she scanned the lanes of vehicles anyway.
“You’re going to get a crick in your neck,” Hunter said calmly. He didn’t sound anxious, but he never did. There could be an army of men with submachine guns chasing them, and Annie thought he’d sound and look as cool as a cucumber.
“I wouldn’t have to risk it if you’d just tell me what’s going on.”
Hunter mumbled something she couldn’t quite hear and shook his head.
“What?” she asked, still watching the traffic behind them.
“When are you going to start trusting me, Annie?” he responded, and the tone of his voice pulled her attention from the road and to him.
He was looking straight ahead, eyes focused on the road, hands tight around the steering wheel. His profile was austere, his cheekbones high and sharp, his hair just brushing the collar of his shirt. In the year she’d known him, she couldn’t think of one time when he’d betrayed her trust or failed to follow through on something he’d said he would do. The one time that she’d been sure he was lying, she’d been wrong.
If anyone she knew was trustworthy, it was Hunter.
“I do trust you.”
“Then why are you watching traffic?”
“Because…” Why? He’d asked a valid question, and she couldn’t think of an answer. Except that she really didn’t trust him. Not completely. Despite everything he’d done, she couldn’t quite believe that he only had her and Sophia’s best interest at heart.
“Exactly,” he muttered, and she felt like a horrible person. Or, at least, a horrible witness or client or whatever it was that Hunter referred to her as when he talked about work.
“It isn’t that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I’ve been doing everything on my own for a year, and it’s hard to just let go and let someone else do them for me.”
“You haven’t been doing things on your own. I’ve been in the background, making sure you were in safe locations, keeping my eye on the people who might want to harm you, offering you advice on how to stay secure and move under the radar. Have you forgotten that?”
“No, and I’m grateful for it. But when push comes to shove, I’m still the one who is responsible for Sophia.”
“True, but I don’t think that your need to protect your daughter is the real issue.” He glanced in the rearview mirror again and exited the interstate.
“And I’m sure you’re going to tell me what the real issue is.”
“Why not? We’ve got a little time,” he said.
If he’d been anyone else, she’d have thought he was joking, but he looked dead serious, his jaw tight, his expression hard.
“Well?” she demanded. “Go ahead. Tell me why I don’t trust you.”
“You judge every man according to what your husband did. He lied, so we all must lie. He betrayed your trust, so obviously, we all are going to. You’re so busy trying to make sure you’re not fooled again that you’re putting up walls that don’t need to be there, protecting yourself from things you don’t need to be protected from.”
That’s not true, she wanted to say.
But it was.
“Nothing to say to that?” he asked quietly, the hard edge gone from his voice.
Maybe he regretted his words, but they’d been said, and he couldn’t take them back. Besides, he was right. She was trying to protect herself and Sophia, guarding her heart because she was afraid to have it broken again.
“No,” she finally said.
“At least you’re not denying it.”
“I’m not going to change it, either. I have a right to the way I feel, Hunter. I have a responsibility to myself and Sophia. It is my job to make sure that she’s secure and safe. Not yours or anyone else’s. That has nothing to do with what Joe did.”
“It has everything to do with it. If he hadn’t died, you’d be living in the little house on Pine Street. You’d be tripping over the loose piece of linoleum in the lau
ndry room every day and cooking on the stove that only had two working burners. You’d be tutoring in the evening and babysitting during the day, and doing everything you could to make something pleasant out of your life.”
“So what?” she snapped, angry because he’d made her former life sound petty and small. “I liked my life. I loved my little house. I enjoyed tutoring and babysitting.”
“Exactly,” he agreed. “And Joe took it all away. Like I said earlier, you have every right to be angry. But you can’t paint every man with the broad stroke of your husband’s betrayal. If you do, you may miss out on some great things.”
She stared out the window, her head throbbing with every heartbeat, her eyes burning with tears. She was angry, and no matter how many times she’d prayed that God would help her forgive and move on, she couldn’t seem to do either. Not completely.
She pressed her forehead against cool glass and closed her eyes. Hunter was right, but she didn’t know how to do things differently. She didn’t know how to lower her guard and let herself go back to being the way she’d been before. Trusting and young and filled with dreams. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go back to being that person. She might be jaded, but she was stronger. She might have learned some hard lessons, but she’d grown wiser from them.
The car stopped, and she opened her eyes, surprised to see trees and playground equipment. A park of some sort, the area around it dotted with baseball fields and volleyball courts. “Where are we?”
“The suburbs, about fifty miles from my place. I thought you and Sophia could use a little fresh air.”
“Is she here?” The thought of letting Sophia toddle around the playground lifted her mood, but the tightness in her chest didn’t ease and the throbbing in her head didn’t stop.
“She will be soon. I called Serena while you were meeting with Antonio. She’s the only one who knows the location of the park. Josh will be with her, but I asked her not to tell him. The fewer people who know where you are, the safer you’ll be.”
“I…don’t know what to say,” she admitted. She’d expected to go straight back to his place. She’d thought she’d be spending the next couple of weeks locked inside. Going to the park with Sophia was a gift she couldn’t quite believe she was getting.
“You don’t have to say anything, but you do have to do something,” he responded. “Local law enforcement did a sweep of the area. Everything looks good, but while we’re here, whatever I say goes. Don’t question it, don’t doubt it, don’t try to do it your own way.”
“Okay.”
A dark sedan pulled into the space beside theirs, and Annie could see Serena in the driver’s seat. She put her hand on the door handle, ready to get her daughter, but Hunter grabbed her wrist.
“That’s an easy answer, Annie,” he murmured. “A quick one, but it’s not going to be so easy to follow through if there’s trouble. I want your promise. Whatever happens, you do things my way. Here. At my place. At trial. Wherever and whenever. No more playing maverick. No more trying to go it on your own.”
“So, you’re bribing me with a trip to the park with my daughter? I promise or I don’t get to spend some time outside with Sophia?”
He frowned, his eyes flashing with irritation. “You’re getting your time at the park either way, but I want your word because I know it means something for you to give it, and because I don’t want to spend the next two weeks worrying that something is going to go down, and you’re going to run off half-cocked again.”
She could have refused. She knew it. Even if she had, he’d have let go of her wrist, allowed her out of the car. She’d have gotten Sophia and brought her to the swings, and spent a few precious minutes enjoying the sunshine and the cold, crisp air.
But the irritation in his eyes couldn’t hide his concern. It couldn’t hide the gentle caress of his thumb across the tender skin at the base of her hand. An unconscious gesture, she was sure, but she felt it deep in her soul, where all the dreams she’d built with Joe had lived. It begged those dreams to come to life again.
She couldn’t let them, but she could acknowledge that Hunter cared. That no matter what, he wouldn’t betray the trust she put in him.
“Okay,” she finally said, her throat clogged with emotions she didn’t want to feel. “I promise.”
He nodded and released his hold.
It seemed as though there should have been more to say, but time was ticking and Sophia was waiting, the cold air and sweet sunshine begging to be enjoyed.
Everything else could be dealt with later.
Right now, all she wanted was a few precious minutes in the park with her daughter.
FIFTEEN
It had been worth it.
That was the conclusion Hunter came to as he watched Annie help Sophia down the slide for what seemed like the twentieth time. Sophia giggled, the sound ringing through the quiet park.
He’d had to pull some strings, ask a few friends from the St. Louis P.D. to help out, but seeing Annie relaxed and happy made it worthwhile.
“I’ve got to admit, I was a little doubtful when you told me about this,” Serena said, her hip resting against the car. She still wore jeans and a fitted T-shirt, her wool coat concealing her firearm. She looked relaxed and natural, but she never stopped scanning the area.
“And now?” he asked, signaling to Josh. Five minutes and they’d have to leave. A half hour wasn’t much time, but it was better than being cooped up inside all day.
“It was a good idea. The kid has been fussy all day. I think she just needed some fresh air and sunshine.” She shrugged, tucking her hands into the pockets of her coat. “Of course, we all might freeze to death while she’s getting it, but it’s nice to see her happy. Annie looks happy, too. Dual benefits.”
“Exactly.”
“You’re worried she’s going to run before trial, aren’t you?”
“I think she’ll stick around. I’m just worried that things are getting to her.”
“What things?” Serena asked, her gaze tracking a man and his girlfriend who were jogging through the park.
“Being cooped up with a toddler for one. Being cut off from her family and friends for another.”
“She knew what she was getting into when she said she’d testify, Hunter. Everything was explained in detail.” Like him, Serena played by the rules, and she didn’t have a lot of sympathy for the men and women in protective custody.
Do the job. Get them to trial. Move on to the next job.
“That doesn’t mean it’s been easy for her.”
“Maybe Burke is right,” she said, suddenly turning her attention to him, her brown eyes looking straight into his.
“About?” He didn’t really need to ask.
“You going soft.”
“When did he tell you that?”
“Right after you left this morning,” she responded unapologetically. They were a tight-knit group. It went without saying that they would talk about each other, and it went without saying that no one would be offended by that.
“He could be right,” Hunter admitted. There was no sense in trying to hide the truth. As long as he played by the book, it didn’t matter how he felt about Annie and Sophia.
Serena eyed him for a moment, her gaze steady and maybe a little surprised. “Is this going to affect the case? Do you want to hand it over to someone else?”
“No. On both counts.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. I may feel a little differently about this case than I have about others, but I’m going to conduct myself the way I always have.”
She nodded, her attention back on the playground and the area surrounding it. She didn’t question him further. He hadn’t expected that she would. They’d worked together for long enough to build the kind of trust that took a lot to shake.
He glanced at his watch. The half hour that he’d allotted was over, the sun just beginning to slide below the trees. It was time to go
. No matter how much he wanted to let Annie and Sophia stay for a while, he wouldn’t veer from the plan.
“I’d better get them so we can go back to the safe house,” he said.
“I’ll warm up the car. They can both ride with me. That’ll be easier than moving the car seat.”
True, but he would have preferred to have them both in his SUV. Discussing it would waste more time, though. Besides, Serena’s plan was a lot more logical than his. As much as he hated to admit it, that was the truth.
Annie and Sophia were still at the slide, Sophia’s excited chatter ringing through the quiet evening. There weren’t many other people at the park. Early January was too chilly, the air heavy with winter.
Annie looked over her shoulder as he approached, her face bathed in gold from the setting sun.
She smiled. “I guess it’s time to go, huh?”
“I’m afraid so.” He caught Sophia as she reached the end of the slide, lifting her high into the air and smiling as she giggled.
“Ready to go home, squirt?” he asked.
“Home!” she repeated, but he doubted she really wanted to go back to his guest room. She didn’t have much in the way of toys or books there.
“Are you going to take a nap when we get there? Ms. Serena said you didn’t sleep at all today,” Annie said as she took Sophia from his arms.
“No nap!” Sophia said. “Slide!”
“I wish I could let you stay longer, but a half hour is all we can do.” Hunter touched the small of Annie’s back, urging her across the playground.
“I’m just thankful we got any time at all,” Annie responded. “It’s been months since we’ve been to the playground. Sophia really enjoyed herself.”
“You looked like you were enjoying yourself, too.” She still did, her cheeks tinged pink from the cold, her eyes sparkling. Her hair had come out of its ponytail and hung in wild waves to her shoulders. He wanted to smooth the silky strands, let his hands tangle in the soft curls.
“I am. This is the most fun we’ve had in a while, isn’t it, Sophia?” She smiled at her daughter, her expression soft and open. She looked young and sweet, and he thought it would be way too easy to hurt her.
Love Inspired Suspense January 2014 Page 14
