by Sammie J
My face lights up at that news and a spark of hope fills my heart. I open my mouth to ask the questions waiting on the tip of my tongue.
He holds his hand up and quickly says, “Please don’t get your hopes up, a lot of sightings turn out to be a case of mistaken identity.”
I tell myself to hold onto to the thought and hope he could be wrong and that it will be Noah. A voice shouts out for Detective Payne and before he walks away he says, “If you have any insurance, I suggest you phone them to come and board up your window. You should be able to start cleaning this mess up soon.”
I make the phone call and two hours later, after we have cleaned up all the broken glass, and we watched as the window is boarded up, we say goodbye to Detective Payne, who promises to phone me with any news and Monica and I finally head home.
We arrive home and as soon as we walk in the door we both turn to stare at each as we hear voices coming from the lounge. I shout out Juan’s name, thinking it might be him, but no answer comes back and then a voice in my head screams a name to me. I run into the room shouting out, “Noah,” but what greets me knocks me for six and literally off my feet as I tumble to the floor in utter disbelief.
“Hello Peppa, it’s good to see you again. Glad to see I can still sweep you off your feet.” I close my eyes and blink them open again to meet his and he waves at me, “Still here I’m afraid.”
Monica gasps out his name. I notice the other man in the room as he moves closer then says, “Jacob, what’s going on? I thought you said it was ok to stay here?”
Monica bends down and helps me to my feet and I find my voice. “Get out Jacob, get out of my house.”
As Jacob and I stare each other down I catch part of what Monica is saying, “Oh my giddy heart, you’re Hans from The Duel…”
Jacob laughs, “Why are you so angry at me Peppa? I was enjoying my new life, putting you behind me. I’m only back because Donald offered me a great package I couldn’t refuse. He needs help running Devil Records while Noah is no doubt shagging the woman he is holed up with. I guess you weren’t enough for him.”
Rage builds up inside me and my hand comes up to strike him, but Monica stands in between us and gets in his face, “Get out Jacob, you’re not welcome here.”
He steps back from her. I guess I’m not the only one to notice her clenched fists. “That’s where you are wrong. Donald gave me the keys and asked me to show Hans around. You see Hans needs a place to stay because he is being hounded by the press, and Noah’s house has a few empty bedrooms. Donald thought you could use some company. So meet your new house guest.”
He turns to Hans, “Hans this is the lovely Monica and the woman standing behind her is Peppa, my ex-girlfriend.”
To say I’m gob smacked is an understatement, Mr. Blaise is certainly pulling out all the stops. Inside I’m screaming with hate for the man standing in front of me, but on the outside I refuse to show Jacob how his presence is affecting me. I shock everyone, including myself, as I side step Monica and walk over to Hans and bring my hand out for him to shake. It’s then I remember who Hans is and the trouble that Jacob caused. “It’s nice to meet you Hans, sorry about all this. I hope you enjoy your stay here.”
I turn back to Jacob, “Monica and I can show Hans around. You can leave now.” He sneers at me and opens his mouth but Hans speaks up and puts his hand on Jacob’s shoulder pushing him in the direction of the front door saying, “Thanks Jacob for helping me out, I’m sure the girls can show me the rest…”
I don’t hear what else is said between them as I force my feet to walk into the kitchen before I collapse. Why now? I don’t know how much more I can take. I make it to the chair and sag down into it, resting my head on the counter. A hand comes to my shoulder, “Here, I think you could do with this.” I lift my head to look at Monica, who holds out a glass with a clear liquid in it. “Only for permissible needs of course.” She says giving me a wink.
“Of course.” I say taking it from her.
We both rotate our heads when a voice booms out, “Look, I’m not sure what is going on here, but I can find a hotel or somewhere else to stay if you’re not comfortable with me staying here.”
I down my drink and stand, “It’s ok, it seems no one gives a shit how I feel and until Noah is found, there is nothing I can do to stop what Mr. Blaise throws at me. So make yourself at home Hans.”
I turn to Monica, “I’m off to have a hot bath and drown myself. I’m sure I can leave our guest in your capable hands.”
I try and walk away but I’m pulled back into Monica’s arms, “Don’t you ever say no one gives a shit, because I do Peppa and so does Juan. Forget about Jacob, he’s nothing but a weasel. I’m going to make sure that man never steps a foot back in this house.”
I squeeze her tighter to me and mutter to her, “I love you.” Then I let her go, say goodnight to them both and stroll away. I make myself another drink, run a bath and when I’m done I crawl into bed, close my eyes and once again I cry myself to sleep as everything that happened today churns around in my head.
Chapter 10 (JUAN)
“People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truths and lies. Dolly whoever said that is spot on.” I peer down at the pig, who has let me feed from her, and pat and rub her head. “Love is never easy my friend, especially when you love two people and have to lie to one of them to protect the other.” Dolly grunts at me. I halfheartedly laugh, “Yeah I hear you, I’m an asshole. I have to be going now, until tomorrow Dolly and then it’s your turn to tell me about what’s going on in your life.” I wave at Dolly and shake my head but smile, I’m telling my life story to a fucking pig.
This week is going to be hectic, we have a gig every night and with Cruz’s erratic behavior and demanding we practice before each gig, I feel myself disconnecting from the band. My thoughts are consumed by guilt. I’m finding it harder to be around Peppa as I let the lies eat away at me, but at the same time, I can’t bear the thought of being away from her. If I have to, I will beg for her forgiveness, then maybe I can forgive myself.
I make my way to Noah to feed him quickly before I head back to become Viper. I see him as my salvation in all this. I know that is selfish of me, but through him I will always have the connection with Peppa if she chooses to walk away from me when the truth comes out.
Just as I reach Jade’s house, Noah’s hunger hits me and I hear him call out my name. Jade lets me in and I rush to his side. I bite into my wrist and let him feed. I untie him when I know it’s safe to, but he doesn’t move an inch, he doesn’t attack me with sexual lust like he usually does, he stares at me blankly. “Noah what’s wrong?”
He slowly sits up, never taking his eyes from mine. “I lie here every day, thinking of you both, waiting for that moment so we can be together again. I’m fighting this change for you Juan, for Peppa. I heard your thoughts, don’t you fucking give up the fight. You told us both, we are a threesome and will stay a threesome. If you think I’m going to let Peppa or you walk away then think again. I believe in us, have you stopped believing Juan?”
He gets off the bed and walks to the bathroom closing the door behind him. I stand there brooding, not knowing what to say or how to feel. Self-condemnation washes over me and I do the one thing he didn’t want me to do, I walk away.
When I reach the venue we are playing at, Cruz is pacing the floor peering at his watch. He looks at me and points to my drums. I don’t give him time to scold me as I tell him, “Don’t fucking start with me tonight Cruz. I’m not in the mood.”
Something in my tone must have worked because he kept his mouth shut through practice and the gig. I go through the motions of each song. I shut out everything that is going on around me as Noah’s question kept repeating. Have I stopped believing in us?
After the gig I can tell Saul wants to talk. He usually leaves Cruz and I to pack and load our instruments into the van, but tonight he helps. I didn’t want to talk,
this is my burden to take care of and I make my excuses saying I need to get to Peppa.
As I walk into the lounge, I find Peppa asleep on the sofa. I walk over to her and bend my knees, lean over and place a kiss on her lips, the taste and smell of alcohol lingers all around her. I find an empty glass lying on the floor and pick it up.
Monica walks into the room from the kitchen, “Hello Juan, I’m glad you’re here, we need to talk.”
She walks back into the kitchen and I follow her. Placing the empty glass on the counter I take a seat next to Monica and ask, “What’s going on?”
She looks me right in the eyes with a doleful look on her face, “I’m worried about Peppa. She’s trying to be strong Juan, she really is. She isn’t eating much. She fainted this morning and after the visit from the police and what Detective Payne told her, well as you can see, she has passed out from too much vodka.”
Confusion crosses my features and I run a hand through my hair, “Why didn’t she phone me?”
A flash of anger crosses Monica’s face and she goes on to say, “She doesn’t want to disturb you.” With her next words she uses air quotes. “You being a rock star and all that.” She pauses, “Sorry that was uncalled for. Look the police searched the house today and we were warned beforehand by Lara that Mr. Blaise had asked the police to search for proof that Peppa has a right to be in the house.”
I mutter, “Fuck.” under my breath then say, “He’s trying to get her out of the house? What is that man’s problem?”
She ignores my questions and goes on to explain what else she knows, “There must be some form with Peppa’s signature on it to say she can be in the house because Detective Payne told her he thought Mr. Blaise would be stupid to force the issue. She lost some of her strength today Juan, and I can only do so much to build it back up. She needs you and I hope to god they find Noah too, because this is killing her.” Monica lowers her head to hide her tears. I often wonder why women do that, I guess they don’t like to show their weakness either.
I reach over for Monica and bring her in for a hug, “I’m sorry for being the rock star but it’s kind of my job. I’m here for her, I always will be, but I will talk to her. I love her and I hate seeing her suffering.” I close my eyes because this is all on me, I’m part of her suffering.
Monica steps out of my arms and smiles at me weakly, “I’m off to bed. Look after her Juan, don’t let her lock herself away inside herself, because I don’t think we will get her back.”
I watch her walk out of the kitchen and I sit there in torment. Noah’s question comes back to me and I have my answer. That night as I watch Peppa sleep, nightmares plague her and she calls out for Noah. Images of ice cream and the sea come to me and then she settles into a deep sleep.
I can’t let all three of us suffer any longer, I know I need more time with Noah to get his blood lust under control, but I make the decision that it’s time Peppa knew the truth.
Noah is a little distant with me when I show up to feed him the next day. We make conversation and I tell him about Peppa and his father but that riles him up. I calm him down and tell him we need to talk more as I have made a few decisions. He does hug and kiss me goodbye and lets me know he’s going to think of a way to help Peppa out so she doesn’t have to worry about being kicked out of his house.
There’s some sort of confusion when I reach the venue for tonight. I walk in to find Saul holding Cruz back from whom I assume is the manager shouting, “We did not phone to cancel!”
Saul spots me and waves me over, “Take him and get him a drink, I need to talk to the manager.”
I drag Cruz over to the bar and sit him down but he stands back up and storms off. When Saul comes back he tells me that the manager received a phone call five minutes before they arrived saying Viper can’t play tonight. We were lucky he didn’t have a chance to do anything yet and he is willing to let us go on stage tonight. He didn’t have much choice, as screams and banging on the doors and windows started up shouting out for Viper. The gig is a success apart from some people managing to get on the stage and halting our performance. When we open the back of the van to load our equipment, there are two naked girls getting it on. Cruz jumps in and tells us he will deal with everything and sends us on our way.
Peppa is awake when I make it to see her tonight, but like Noah, she is a little distant so I do what I usually do, I take her to bed and hold her until it is time to leave.
Saul is banging on my door as soon as the sun sets shouting at me to, “Wake the fuck up.” I open the door to a pacing Saul, “You better hurry up and get dressed, Cruz has stormed off to the pub we are playing at tonight. He received a message on his phone, it’s another cancelled gig.”
A string of curses leave my mouth and I quickly get dressed and we rush to the venue. Once we get there, Cruz has some guy backed up against a wall with his hand around his throat, “Give me your fucking phone.”
I walk over and stand to the side of him and he turns his head to me and I notice his fangs have dropped, “Cruz let him go and walk away, you need to calm down.” I nod to his mouth and his tongue comes out and runs across his bottom lip and hits his fang. That’s when he realizes his mistake and lets his hand drop from the guy’s neck and storms off.
Saul strolls after him and I turn back to the man who now has his phone in his shaking hands. “I’m sorry about Cruz…”
He didn’t let me finish as he says, “I’m phoning the police, there’s something not right about him. He can’t go around attacking people like that.”
My hand reaches for his phone and he stares right at me and I use a bit of mind control, “You won’t be phoning the police, you will forget you were attacked. You will hand your phone over to me willingly.”
I stand back from him and watch as he blinks a few times and looks at me, “Here you can check my phone for a number.”
He hands his phone to me and as I’m checking it I’m hit with an intense pain which causes me to bend in half and I hear Noah’s voice in my head calling for me. Shit I need to go to Noah. I shout for Saul. He comes rushing over and I hand him over the phone. Through the pain I manage to spit out, “I need to go and sort Noah out, I’ve left him too long.” The pain eases and I say a quick goodbye before I leave the building.
I have to hide in the shadows as there are Viper groupies hanging around but as soon as I know I can run without being seen, I do. I have to stop a few times along the way as Noah’s pain intensifies and I feel everything he does. He starts screaming my name over and over again. It feels like my head is going to explode, but I finally get there. I rush past Jade when she opens the door, not even giving her a glance or a hello.
Noah is writhing around on the bed, foaming at the mouth and blood spills from the rope burns he has inflicted on himself. I bite my wrist and lower it to his mouth. His tongue, his teeth and the suction of his mouth ravish my arm as he gulps down my blood like he is dying of thirst. His eyes find mine and I see relief in them but I also see he is disconcerted, so while he takes what he needs from me, I explain the situation with the band and that is why I am late and I promise I will never let that happen again.
When he has had his fill and I untie him, he sits ups and stares absently at me and I know then he is still angry with me about the other day. Noah reaches over for a laptop I didn’t notice before and says, “I think I have found a way to make sure Peppa has enough money to pay the bills until it’s time to let her know I’m alive. But first you need to send a text to Cruz and get him to ring my father to see if he knows anything about these cancelled venues.”
He tells me the number and I text Cruz telling him to make the call. There is silence again between us as we stare each other out. I swallow my angst at what my next words might bring. “I want to take you out soon to feed from another source. Noah, it is too early for you still, so you have to work extra hard at fighting the hunger but I can’t go on like this. It’s time Peppa knows the truth.”
; I didn’t have time to blink as big strong arms find their way around my body and I’m enclosed in a hug that makes my body go weak and I melt into Noah's arms. He throws all these questions out at me and I answer them the best I can and then he goes on to tell me about his idea for helping Peppa out.
When we are all talked out, my hand reaches for his face and I stroke his cheek. I had a text back from Cruz saying the gig is cancelled for tonight and he is trying to find out if tomorrow night is still happening. “I have to go, I should be with Peppa.”
He nods, “I have the laptop and if you like, I can check the venues and text Cruz phone numbers and dates, if that will help?”
I lower my head to his and I place a gentle kiss to his lips. He takes the kiss but didn’t take it any further, which hurt a little, but I will make it right between us again. I said my goodbyes to Noah, then to Saul and Jade and headed to my woman. That night I hold Peppa in my arms as I do each night, the silent tears fall as she sleeps. Feelings of losing them both take over as both my Entwined harbored their own distant feelings towards me. The sooner Peppa knows the better.
Friday runs smoothly. I feed Noah first and he has warmed up to me. He says sorry about the way he has been acting and is happy he will see Peppa soon. He even lets me suck him off, which is heaven and he returns the favour.
The gig proceeds without a hitch and we actually play well, which makes Cruz happy. He seems to have himself under control.
Peppa is a bit more talkative, but I notice her constant need to have a drink in her hand. Something is holding me back from approaching her for sex. I want her, there is no question about that, but I guess the accountability of my actions stands in the way as I feel I didn’t deserve her. Guilt eats away at me, it sank its claws in deep and isn’t letting go anytime soon. I'm right there when Noah awakes the next day. A phone call had been made the night before to make sure the venue we are playing at tonight hasn’t been cancelled. Noah is happy to see me.
