by Elle Scott
They disagreed. They said it was reckless and I should finish high school THEN do the job if I had to.
I told them that it would actually be better for me to gain this experience before settling down with my studies.
They weren’t so sure.
It went on for a while, back and forth until they sent me to my room while they discussed it further.
I’m almost eighteen though, shouldn’t it be my decision anyway? The more they opposed me, the more I realised how much I wanted to go.
I lay on my unmade bed, my clothes strewn across the floor—maybe they’re right, maybe I’m not responsible enough for such a big move.
I scan through my phone to distract myself. There’s an unread message from Laney. I think the phone cut off before I had a chance to say goodbye. Soooo… goodbye. PS. I’m looking forward to Friday ;) ;) ;)
I rub my temples hard. No Laney, don’t do this to me. Half of me imagines her lying next to me right now, naked and giggling; the other half wants to ignore the fact she likes me and push her to the side like the rest of them. My ex-girlfriend did this to me. I can’t even say her name. She used me, made me fall in love, then cheated on me with someone who I thought was a friend. Now all I seem to do is attract the girls who want a relationship—but I can’t handle that, so I take advantage of their adoration and once they’re hooked I drop them like they’re a saucepan I didn’t realise was on the boil. I can’t do that with Laney though, I’ll have to let her down gently.
I dial her number.
‘Hey there!’ She croons.
‘Hi.’
‘Have you finished your tutor session?’ She says tutor an octave higher than the rest.
‘Yeah, nah that was a bust.’ It’s the only way I can describe it without sounding completely crazy.
‘No basketball either?’
‘Wasn’t really feelin’ it.’
‘Hmm, what are you feeling? Wanna come over?’ Her voice drops to a lull.
I’m silent.
‘Orrrr not?’ She speaks softer, throatier—finally her normal voice.
‘Not… Listen Laney we’ve had fun—’
She gasps. ‘Are you breaking up with me?’
‘Uhhh, I don’t remember us being official.’
‘We slept together, Xander!’
How does sex equal relationship?
‘I sleep with a lot of people, Laney, it doesn’t mean they are all my girlfriends.’ I blurt it out before I think about what I’m saying.
‘What?’ Laney whispers.
Shit.
More silence.
‘Have you… have you slept with anyone else while you’ve been with me?’ She’s still whispering.
‘No… no, I’m not a total jackass.’ I don’t think.
‘Why not?’
I’m not sure what she is asking me; why haven’t I slept with anyone else; or why am I not a total jackass? I’ll go with the former.
‘Because… I care about you.’
‘But you’re not my boyfriend though?’ Her voice cracks out of its whisper.
Is that a statement or a question? This is so hard. Why is this so hard?
She’s in too deep, that’s why.
‘I don’t want a relationship Laney.’ I say coldly. I have to be ruthless, I can’t give her an edge of hope.
‘So, let me get this clear. You’ll sleep with me on Friday, but you don’t want a relationship?’
‘I never said I would sleep with you on Friday.’ I sigh.
‘Because you’ve got another girl lined up?’
I tap my temple with my fingers, trying to ease the sudden headache. ‘Laney don’t do this, we’re friends.’
‘I don’t think we are, Xander. Not anymore… I thought you liked me.’
She sniffs. Her breath is short and fast. I’ve made her cry.
‘I do.’ I say it as earnestly as possible, but it’s probably not enough. Once you’ve made a girl cry you’ve only got two actions to choose from: All-in love declaration or ripping her heart out quickly.
‘You don’t like me enough,’ she replies. ‘You’re so lukewarm lately, you like to dip your toes in the water but don’t want to dive in. Everything you do is so half-hearted, so uncommitted. Who the hell are you anymore? You’re not the guy I know. You miss basketball training, you don’t study for tests, you don’t show up to half the things you’re invited to. You have sex with someone you’ve been friends with since second grade, and you think you can just kiss her whenever you feel like it, and touch her body—my body—in places friends don’t touch each other. We’ve had fun. Is that all you can say? And you think that it will be all okay? That we can live our lives like normal, like you haven’t treated me like dirt? No Xander, we are not friends.’
She sniffs again, her breath halters and then she hangs up.
I’m scum.
I lean on the edge of my bed and catch my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bedroom door. The dark colour of my unshaven stubble makes my eyes look bright blue; girls always tell me how blue my eyes are. I pull my cap down until the rim hits my nose. That’s how it goes. I lure them in, I have my fun and then I toss them aside. And this time I’ve done it to someone I care about. She’s right, I’m not the person I used to be. I’m broken. And I hate that I hurt people because I can’t figure out how to fix myself.
I have to get out of this place, this town. It’s time to start afresh.
The sound of Kate’s sweet voice coming from the kitchen, lures me off my bed and to the top of the staircase. Kate and I sit here together sometimes, listening to our parents chat in the kitchen. It captures the sound perfectly as it echoes off the tiles and up the stairs.
‘He’s my baby.’ I hear Mum say.
‘Is that really the only reason you’re not letting him go… because you’ll miss him?’ Kate asks.
‘Of course we’ll miss him. It will feel weird to have him gone. But is he ready? What’s this company about? What if his pay is low and he can’t buy food for the week? He’s still so young, he can’t do his own laundry.’ Mum’s fussing. It’s a good sign. She always fusses when she’s about to give in. I race down the stairs and stand at the wall that separates the foyer and the kitchen.
‘What about his life though? You’re the one that always complains about him not having direction. Now that he has it you can’t take it away from him. Can’t he make his own mistakes? Don’t baby birds have to fly out of the nest at some stage?’
‘When did you get so wise?’ Dad pipes up.
‘She always has been,’ I say, walking into the kitchen.
‘Xander!’ Mum’s eyes light up.
‘Thanks for having my back, kiddo.’ I ruffle Kate’s hair as I walk past her to Mum.
‘You’re right,’ Mum says. ‘It’s your choice, I trust your decision-making skills.’
‘I can go?’
‘On one condition,’ Dad says behind me.
‘What’s that?’ I spin around to face him.
‘That you finish school, whether it be via distance education or you defer for a year. No matter what, you finish school!’ His finger wags in my direction but his eyes are soft.
‘That’s fair,’ I reply.
‘And one more condition,’ Mum adds, throwing her arm over my shoulder. ‘You call me every night—’
‘Muuuum,’ Kate interrupts.
‘Every second night!’ Mum smiles and the lines by her eyes crinkle all the way to her temples.
‘Deal,’ I say, my smile threatening to turn into a full-blown grin.
Mum swings her other arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder. ‘If you need to come home for any reason whatsoever, your first day or seventieth day, you just let me know and I’ll come and get you, okay?’
Without having a chance to respond, Kate’s arms circle around my waist and she says, ‘Come on Dad, get in here.’
Before I know it, I’m squished in a family hug, and I think if this was t
he last hug I will ever receive for the next year, I’ll survive just fine.
PALLADIUM
Nichols had told Ross and me that we would be working in a non-government science facility, but this is something else. It’s more like an underground secret laboratory—I half expect an evil genius carrying a human brain to walk past me at any moment.
An unused airport sits above us; unassuming and ambiguous. Inside, everything is white, the smell of bleach and some other chemical tang floats in all the rooms. A large foyer, called the Square, is overlooked by a mezzanine level. Glass-walled labs line up along the maze of hallways off the mezzanine. Behind the Square, on the lower level, is a food hall. To the left are bedrooms and en-suites for everyone who works here. On the right side of the Square, a plastic sheet covers the whole wall; in front of the sheet, scaffolding reaches all the way to the ceiling.
‘They are building more bedrooms behind there,’ Nichols says, waving a hand at the scaffolding. ‘A recreation room upstairs too apparently.’
There are so many rooms already, how many more do they need? It seems as though they have every scientist who’s ever graduated in this very building. So many are buzzing about in their white coats and smart brains, I’m beginning to feel like I should have stayed at school.
‘This way!’ Nichols commands as though he has little time to give us a tour. We follow him into the elevator, and when the doors open on the next level we face a room that displays the orbs. Grey, silver, blue. I can’t remember their names but they look amazing, like each of them contain a little bit of the future inside them.
‘Containment Room,’ Nichols says, and with a flick of his wrist he waves in its direction. We continue walking around the mezzanine until Nichols stops at a door with Professor Ladlow written on it.
Two knocks.
A man even taller than Nichols opens the door, he has a slim build and I can’t stop staring at his distinctive cheekbones. He squints at Nichols.
‘The two recruits I was telling you about.’ Nichols urges.
‘Oh, right,’ Ladlow answers. He shakes our hands without asking our names.
‘It will be good to have some muscle, right?’ Nichols asks.
‘Mmm. Better than crusty old scientists.’
Nichols straightens.
I glance at Ross who just shrugs at me. If I didn’t know better, I would assume these two aren’t exactly the best of friends.
‘They’ll go on the mission today then,’ Nichols lifts his chin and speaks deeper than normal.
Ladlow raises his eyebrows.
Tension overload.
‘Well, if you want to do what you plan to do, it won’t hurt to start them now.’
Ladlow takes a sharp breath and nods. ‘I suppose Miles should go too. All right, lads, let’s see how you go. Meet in the hanger for a retrieval mission at fourteen hundred hours.’ He closes the door.
‘There you go boys, your first mission. Meet me afterwards for a debrief, I’ve got a few more things to go over with you.’ Nichols places a hand on each of our shoulders and walks off.
‘In fourteen hundred hours?’ I turn to Ross.
‘AT fourteen hundred hours, two in the afternoon.’ Ross laughs.
‘Right, of course.’ I laugh back.
Definitely should have stayed at school.
~~~
I’ve barely had time to be shown my room and eaten lunch when fourteen hundred hours rolls around. Last week I didn’t even know what an orb was, now I’m climbing into a helicopter to retrieve one. How does that even work? How do they know where it is? What if it’s in another country? What do we carry it in? What do we tell people who may have seen it?
‘You’re not the type of person we normally see around here.’
I swivel in my seat to see a guy about my age enter the helicopter. His blond hair falls across his face as he takes a seat opposite me. He reminds me of a skinnier version of Sean, from back at home—cool exterior but kind eyes, that sort of thing.
‘I think I belong more on a basketball court than in a lab,’ I reply.
He laughs. ‘Me too, except on a tennis court … I’m Miles.’ He reaches his hand for me to shake.
‘Xander,’ I smile. ‘And this is Ross.’ I motion to Ross who sits beside me with his head in a laptop.
He doesn’t hear the introduction.
‘He’s cool,’ I say.
‘I’ll take your word for it.’ Miles says, removing his hand from Ross’ direction. ‘It’s nice to finally have some of my people here!’
‘Your people?’ Ross asks, raising his head.
‘I’m Miles,’ he says, returning his hand towards Ross. ‘You know normal people, not scientists.’
Ross gives Miles’ hand a quick shake and says, ‘I’m a scientist.’
Miles sits back and nods in respect.
‘So, you don’t play basketball?’ I ask, saving Miles from Ross’ possible disdain.
‘It’s the height, isn’t it? You think I’d be a good defender? I’m happy to give it a go if you want someone to shoot hoops with. They’re building a Rec room at the moment, I have no idea what’s going to be in there but we could request a hoop.’ As Miles talks, the helicopter begins to lift.
I look out the window at the tarmac getting smaller and smaller, until the bitumen looks like a line in the sand. A whirring noise circulates through the helicopter.
‘You nervous?’ Miles asks.
Behind him the pilot presses his hand on an orb that’s lodged into the roof, a flash of light, and then he removes his hand.
I glance at Miles, give a pained smile, and look out the window. I can’t see the tarmac anymore, no sandy dirt or airport in sight. Instead we hover above a lush green mountain valley, with real life monkeys that swing from real life vines.
‘Don’t worry,’ Miles says. ‘It’s my first mission too.’
~~~
We hover above the Congo for about an hour before the helicopter makes its descent into a small clearing between a mountain and the river. There are six of us, including the pilot. First up, there’s Miles, Ross and me—young and totally in over our heads. The oldest of the scientists, Trevor, is about seventy-years-old. He has thinning white hair but a rather strong upper body—I wonder if he works out. The pilot, not quite as old as Trevor, has curly brown hair and a moustache that doesn’t suit his round face. The other scientist, Nina, looks to be in her early thirties, she has light blue eyes and wears her hair in a bun. Even in her khaki slacks and vest, I can tell she’s fit. Half of me is impressed with how smart she must be, and the other half wonders what her fully-grown breasts would feel like against my bare chest. She glances in my direction and I whip my head around so she doesn’t think I was just staring. I shake my head at myself.
We are all given back-packs with essentials like water, extra clothes, pocket knife, etc. Ross has some sort of monitoring equipment in his bag.
‘Two rules: Stay close to me, and don’t touch the orb,’ Trevor says as he opens the door. A gust of heat fills the helicopter, the air is thick and wet.
Ross quickly swings his backpack on and jumps outside. Nina and the pilot aren’t far behind him.
Miles and I look at each other.
‘After you,’ I say.
As soon as both my feet find the dirt, a rush of excitement sweeps over me. I’m in the freaking Congolese jungle! I run to catch up with everyone as they enter the rain-forest. The trees are so tall I can’t see the tops; their branches are covered with moss, leaves, and vines. The distant sound of an elephant’s trumpet echoes through the trees.
‘I’m glad we’re here in the dry season,’ Nina says, stepping over an overgrown tree root. Although, is it really overgrown if that is the norm here? Wouldn’t it just be ‘grown’? The smile on my face hurts. This is my life now: better than basketball, better than geology.
The scientists, including Ross, and the pilot charge ahead. Trevor holds a beacon that helps him navigate towards the or
b. Miles and I walk together about five metres behind them.
‘I’m quietly buzzing here, man!’ I whisper to Miles.
‘This way!’ Trevor calls, as everyone takes a left turn towards the mountain.
Miles slaps his palm on my chest, his eyes ablaze with delight. ‘Me too!’
We leap over a fallen branch and quicken our pace to stay close to the others. They are quicker than expected-I guess doing this sort of thing all the time they’d have to be fit.
‘So, what does the egg orb do again?’ I ask Miles.
‘Shield, I think.’
‘You think?’ I laugh.
‘My dad doesn’t talk to me much. And when I ask questions, I just get this look like I should already know the answer. All I really know is that the orbs showed up a long time ago and my dad collects them with these guys.’ Miles shrugs.
It’s odd that Miles works with his dad and still doesn’t know what the orbs do. I can’t get my dad to shut up about his work when he gets home. It’s always “guess what this client said today?” and “you should have seen the luxurious house I got appointed to sell!” and “did you read that funny email I sent you all?” What kind of man is Professor Ladlow if he treats his own son like that?
‘What do you do at Palladium?’
‘Assistant mostly. I get coffees, run errands, deliver messages and test results. All the fun stuff.’
I start to break a sweat as Trevor leads us up the mountain, thankful they’ve started to slow the pace. The mountain is lush green—from a distance it looked like it was only covered in smooth moss, but up close the trees seem to climb up over themselves on the incline.
‘Sounds like what they told me I’d be doing, but now I’m trekking through the jungle … I won’t complain about that though.’ I puff.
‘What brought you here then?’
‘I accidentally saw Nichols use a portal orb.’
Miles laughs at that. ‘Sounds like destiny, bro.’
‘Your dad sent us on this mission though, he said you would benefit from it too. Something about more missions in the future, with more people.’ I stop for a second to wait for the others to move. They’ve stopped to take swigs out of their water bottles and wipe sweat from their heads.
