I tapped the toe of my pumps against the hardwood floor. “Let’s see, if you weren’t being such a jerk I wouldn’t have run in here in the first place.”
“And if you weren’t acting like such an immature brat I wouldn’t have had to follow you up here. Seriously, you’re twenty-three years old. Act like it for once.”
I couldn’t even dignify his insult with a response. Instead, I sat down at my desk and turned on my computer.
Throwing me a sneer, he grunted. “What are you doing now?”
“If I’m stuck in here with some imbecile, I might as well get some work done.”
He snorted. “Must be nice to have a job.”
I slammed the top of my briefcase shut in exasperation. “Jacob, don’t start. That’s not fair and you know it.”
“You sure about that?” He stomped his way over to me and pointed at the wall clock. “Look at the time, E! Where would I be at this very moment if you hadn’t gone and fucked things up for me?”
“I didn’t mess anything up for you! I saved you!”
“You’re still sticking to that story? You know as well as I do that it’s pure BS.”
“Fuck you.”
“Funny, that’s what you wanted to do last night, right? And what you wanted to do—”
Without waiting for him to finish, I stood up abruptly, knocking my chair over. Jacob jumped back, looking a bit startled. I walked over to the door and began to pound at it with the side of my fist. I knew it was useless and that the custodians had long gone, but I didn’t care. I needed to get out of the room in order to save any shred of my sanity. “Help!”
Chapter 9
Past
It’s funny how you can expect a certain event in your life to be self-defining and somewhat momentous only to find it has no lasting effects at all. For me it was the b-boy battle. After thrusting myself into the middle of something so out of my element, there was a part of me that believed it would change me somehow. Maybe it would make me braver and more confident. Maybe my style and looks would change. Maybe I captured the attention of a certain dark-haired Adonis…
Unfortunately, none of those things happened. About the only good thing that came out of attending that event was that my bond with Anna was forged tighter. Come to think of it, if that was the only thing I got out of it then I couldn’t be too unhappy.
Nevertheless, that one event made me into some sort of fangirling, stalking monster. Day in and day out I found myself searching all over campus for any sign of Jacob. Despite how large Cal U was, I’d look everywhere just to get a glimpse of his handsome face. It was ridiculous and I admit somewhat creepy. No offense to Anna, but I was no better than one of those women who were sure they’d end up marrying a celebrity. Still, it was an addiction I could not stop.
“You’re being stupid,” I’d tell myself. “He doesn’t even remember you. Besides, Anna already warned you he was off-limits.’
I repeated these thoughts as if they were my mantra and after a while I finally listened. Once I fully convinced myself to bury any hopes I had of connecting with Jacob, something happened that threw me for a loop. Then again, that’s how it always is, right? The moment you write someone off is the moment they crash into your life.
***
I shoved my hands into the shallow pockets of my jeans, fully regretting not throwing on a thicker coat. All that talk about San Diego weather being the best is nothing but utter lies! Shivering, I entered the main common area and claimed a seat toward the middle of the room. It was about eight at night, and except for a couple sharing a pizza in the corner, the building was relatively empty.
“Good. I’ll get some studying done,” I sighed contentedly.
Though my dorm room would have been a prime study spot, Anna had commandeered it with her new boyfriend, Lucas. Not wanting to intrude, nor play witness to their game of tonsil hockey, I opted to study elsewhere. Though the library seemed like the best way to go, I decided to ride the wave of trying new things and somehow ended up at the Student Commons.
I tapped my pencil rhythmically against the pages of my Psychology book as I attempted to read through a chapter on conditioning. I must have read the same paragraph about bells and food about three times and still could not comprehend Pavlov’s methods.
Tap, tap, t-t-t-tap.
As I continued my pseudo drum solo, I realized I was echoing a distant beat. Closing my book, I careened my neck and heard the faint sound of trumpets.
“No wonder I can’t concentrate. Guess it’s the library for me after all,” I muttered.
As I began packing up, I couldn’t help but notice how familiar the music sounded. Overcome by curiosity, I quickly stuffed my dog-eared book into my messenger bag and hitched the strap on, intent on following the mysterious beat. As if being pulled by an invisible string, I walked past the couches of the east wing and cut through a hallway of vending machines. With each step the music became louder and more pronounced. I felt a bit like Alice In Wonderland, falling further down the rabbit hole. Once I turned down an unfamiliar corridor of the building, I realized the music was coming from behind a closed door at the end of a narrow hallway.
Okay, I admit my spidey senses were tingling at this point. I mean what part of “weird door in a dark hallway” didn’t just scream turn around? I’d seen all those horror movies before! Yet, that unseen force was no longer leading me, but pulling me toward the music. Without thinking twice, I wrapped my hand around the metal door handle and pushed against the heavy door. What I saw on the other side stopped me in my tracks.
Jacob.
Remember what I said about being over my crush? Well, that idea was completely thrown out the window once I saw Jacob dancing in the middle of the empty room. I stood frozen, watching him turn from side to side and then somersault in the air. My gaze traveled up and down his body in admiration. At the sake of repeating myself, he really was amazing.
No matter how quiet I thought I was, I must have done something to catch his attention. Who knows? Maybe drooling had a sound after all. In the blink of an eye Jacob stopped dancing and abruptly faced me. “Estelle, right?”
Caught completely off guard, I stammered, “Uh…y-yeah, I…that’s me!”
Cue internal face palm.
His thick lips curled up into a slight smile. “So I take it that Shawn didn’t scare you off after all, huh?”
“Um, I’m sorry?” I gripped the rough material of my strap, cringing when I realized just how badly my fingers were trembling. I cleared my throat and let out a weak laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“Obviously, you’re here for a reason. Do you just like to watch or is this something you want to learn?”
There had to be an innuendo in there somewhere.
I probably could have won a handful of battles the way my stomach was flipping around. I scratched at my neck nervously. “Actually, I heard the music from the commons. Um, I was just wondering where it was coming from and…uh…followed it over here.”
“Oh, shit! Is it really that loud?” He ran over to his Bluetooth speakers and quickly turned them down. “I’m surprised security hasn’t kicked me out yet.”
“Well, there’s only three of us out there. You’re not really bothering anybody,” I replied shyly.
“Oh, good.”
A lull fell over us. For a few moments we did nothing but stare at each other awkwardly. The introverted part of me snuck her ugly head out and as much as I loved being in Jacob’s company, I knew I had to get out of there.
“Well…I’ll let you get back to your…uh, dancing.” I spun on my heel and headed toward the door.
“Wait!”
I paused, trying hard to suppress the giddiness I felt at hearing Jacob call after me. Once I regained my composure, I turned back around. “Yes?”
Jacob tugged at his shirt, which seemed thick with perspiration. He tilted his head to the side and smiled only enough to show a thin sliver of white teeth. “What do you
think about this whole breaking thing?”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Just curious.” He paused and added, “You said it was your first battle, just wondering if you’d ever go to another one.”
Not knowing how else to respond I repeated, “Why?”
“Just curious,” he also repeated.
In the back of my mind I couldn’t help but wonder if he hoped he’d see me at another event. Of course, that would never happen in a million years. At least not to me, it wouldn’t. Trying to ground myself, I squeaked, “Most likely. Not counting Shawn, the event was pretty fun.”
My answer seemed to satisfy him. “That’s good to hear. I’ve been breaking for so long that it’s sort of taken over my life. I always like to see what newbies think of it.”
“Oh.” Well, there went that theory.
Cue another awkward pause.
Jacob scratched his head. “Well…I guess I’ll go back to dancing. You’re more than welcome to watch if you’d like.”
As much as I wanted to say yes the chicken inside of me convinced me otherwise. Tilting my body slightly forward, I let out another shy giggle. “Thanks for the invite but I really have to study.”
Did I really just bow? Ugh!
“Oh, well, it was nice seeing you again.”
His tone was so hard to read that I desperately wanted to look up to examine his face, but I was too embarrassed by my mock curtsy. So, I did the next best thing and simply replied, “You too.”
I rushed out of the room with a goofy smile on my face. I closed the door carefully behind me and silently leaned against it. I held my breath and listened intently. The music had started up again and I could make out the faint sounds of Jacob’s shoes slapping against the linoleum floor. I closed my eyes and pictured his body, all sweaty, slick, and shiny. Before I could stop myself, a small moan escape me.
My eyes widened. I cupped my mouth and quickly ran until I reached the front of the building. Feeling out of breath—for various reasons—I skidded to a stop. I shook my head in a huff. “It’s those books you’ve been reading, Estelle. They’re messing with your mind!”
Chapter 10
I chose not to tell Anna about my run-in with Jacob. For one, it was devastatingly embarrassing. And secondly, she had latched onto Lucas as if she were a parasite. Somehow having a boyfriend made her think she was some relationship guru and I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to subject myself to her advice. So, during a rare Lucas-free outing, I decided to talk about anything but Spinja…at least I tried my hardest to.
Anna and I sat in the middle of Ward’s cafe, a quaint mom and pop restaurant at the end of sorority row. Despite rumbling bellies, we decided to pass the time playing table football with a sugar packet. I flicked the yellow rectangle and watched as the puffy envelope sailed across the table. “Where’s our server? We’ve been sitting here for almost ten minutes.”
Anna glanced around and scowled. “I know; this place kinda sucks for customer service, doesn’t it?”
“Yup. If we were back in my hometown, we would have had our drinks by now.” My eyes clouded over as I recalled my favorite diner on the corner of Pembroke and Constitution. The staff all knew me by name, which actually may not have been a good thing, as I tended to eat alone.
“Well, too bad we’re not,” Anna muttered as she impatiently glanced at her watch. “I’m freaking starving. I’m down for moving to Virginia now if it means getting any semblance of food.”
I propped my chin onto my hand and mused, “You know when I moved here I thought it’d be such a huge culture shock.”
“And it wasn’t?” she asked absent-mindedly.
I gazed out the window and watched a few people jog by. “Not really. I mean certain things are different, but it’s all just the same.”
“Where are you from?” a familiar voice asked beside me.
The sugar packet sailed past my face, hitting the girl seated behind me. “Hey!”
“Sorry.” Anna snickered, eyeing me knowingly. “Looks like my friend here forgot she was in the middle of a game.”
“How are you ladies doing?” Jacob asked, peering down at us. He flashed his magazine-worthy smile and raised his hand in greeting.
Though Anna’s head was turned in his direction, her eyes peered at me from the corners. “We’re doing well; just craving a salad we’ll probably never get.”
“Salads are good,” Jacob replied. He shot me a wink and all at once the inside of my mouth turned into sawdust.
At least you won’t be able to tell him how amazing he is, I thought wryly.
Anna grinned mischievously. “Did you want to join us?”
I narrowed my eyes, eliciting a wider grin from my roommate. How did Anna expect me to eat around Jacob when I couldn’t even open my mouth properly? She was doing it to be a bitch, I was sure of it.
“Sure,” Jacob replied with a soft smile.
Damn it.
He shrugged off his track jacket and draped it over the seat beside me. “Can you scoot over just a bit?”
I nodded quietly and pushed myself to the opposite end of the booth, basically squishing against the plexi-glass window. I made sure to avoid Anna’s stare, knowing full well that her expression would probably irritate me no end.
My roommate let out a soft giggle and sighed. “So Jacob, what brings you over to this neck of the woods?” She motioned around the tiny cafe, which reeked of lemongrass. “Didn’t peg you as a vegan or gluten-free lover.”
“Believe me, I’m not,” he replied. “I have a tournament I’m competing in next week and I’ve been doing nothing but eating like crap. Figured it was time for a detox cleanse to get me back on track.”
“Smart,” she commented.
He shifted his weight so he was able to look at me. “You never answered my question. Where are you from?”
Crap, was he really going to make me talk? Out loud? I swallowed what felt like shards of glass in my throat and found myself whispering, barely making any words out. “I…uh…”
Anna rolled her eyes and mouthed, “Say something.”
“Uh, Virginia,” I finally answered, ignoring the sound of Anna’s amused snort.
The corner of Jacob’s thick lips turned down as he nodded his head in thought. “Virginia, huh? I’ve never been to the east coast. Is it nice over there?”
Anna gazed at me intently, encouraging me to speak.
I gulped. “Pretty nice. You should see it this time of year. The leaves are beautiful. Reds and golds. They look like a painting.”
Anna winked at me and whispered, “Good job.”
“I’ve always wanted to travel,” Jacob replied thoughtfully. “I’ve always felt a bit suffocated knowing that I’ve been stuck in one place all my life.”
“Well, you’re in SoCal now,” Anna reminded him. “We’re not in Fresno anymore, Toto.”
“It’s still California,” he shot back. He scrunched up his nose and sighed. “Hate to say it, but I have a feeling I’ll be here for a while. Especially if I do end up pursuing teaching.”
“Mr. Silas,” Anna mused. “Has a certain ring to it.”
Jacob smirked. “Oh yeah, it’s awesome.”
In all honesty I couldn’t see anything bad with the idea of Jacob being around for a long time. Still, I was curious as to why he felt stifled. “Why? I mean, why don’t you see yourself leaving?”
He shrugged. “Don’t really have the cash to do it. That’s why I want this whole dancing thing to take off. Sponsors will pay you to globe trot.” He ran his finger along the table, circling a pile of stray sugar grains from where our packet had ripped. “Yeah…that’d be the life.”
“Is that why breaking is all you do?” Anna asked, throwing me a meaningful look. I bit back the urge to roll my eyes.
“Yup. Practice makes perfect and I’m goal oriented like that.”
“You sure are. Breaking day in and day outttttt.”
I narrowed my eyes and kicked m
y roommate under the table. Captain Obvious didn’t hold a pickle to her.
Ignoring me, Anna glanced at a group of servers who were busy singing a bad rendition of “Happy Birthday” to one of the customers. “If our server ever shows up can you order me the spinach salad? I’m going to the restroom really quick.”
Before I could even reply, Anna had already jumped out of our booth and was headed toward the back of the restaurant, leaving me and Jacob sitting quietly by ourselves. I gazed after her retreating body in shock. I so did not get her. One moment she was telling me to stay away from him and the next she was practically shoving me in his face. I guess I didn’t miss out on being an only child, did I?
“What’s your deal?” Jacob asked after a few moments of silence. He reached out and grabbed another sugar packet, flicking at the corner thoughtfully.
“My deal with what?” I asked, completely taken aback.
“You’re…different. One minute you’re really chatty and the next…”
“I’m an introvert,” I replied, not knowing what else to say. “I’m not really antisocial, I just…I just don’t like talking more than I need to.”
God, that made me sound so pathetic.
“I don’t believe that.” He let out a slight chuckle and turned slightly, resting his arm on the edge of our seats just a few inches from my nape.
I gulped, feeling his arm brush against my neck. “Why not?”
He leaned forward, examining me. His eyes bounced from my forehead, to my nose, down to my chin and back to my eyes. It felt weird having him look at me so intensely. Then again, it wasn’t exactly a bad feeling.
He smiled. “I sense some fire in you. You’re definitely a force to be reckoned with.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was such a ridiculous notion and definitely not one that I’d expect to come true. “I don’t really feel that way. You really don’t know me that well.”
He pressed his lips together in amusement, his dark eyes sparkling. “Then let me get to know you.”
Breaking Hearts (B-boy Book 2) Page 5
