“I’ll be blowing something.” It slipped out before I could stop myself and when I noticed the teasing look on Jacob’s face, I quickly changed the subject. “Whoa, this is really something.”
I gazed around at the sea of strangers around me. Most looked as if they were gearing up, ready for war. It was pretty intimidating, to say the least.
“Isn’t it great?” Jacob eyed the room in appreciation. His hand traveled up and squeezed my shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Just remember what I taught you.”
“Immerse myself into the music. Got it.”
He shook his head. “No, not that.”
I lifted an eyebrow in confusion. “What, then?”
“This battle is a big deal. It’s different than the one you attended at Cal U and even more different than the practices we have every week. Just know your place. Pick your spot and don’t get kicked in the face.”
“You never told me that!” I squeaked.
“Okay, but I’m telling you now.” He grinned down at me, but there was something off in the way he was smiling at me. He was smiling at me the way all the guys in high school did. He was smiling at me like I was his little sister and he was my proud big brother. “You’ll do great today. As your sensei, I release you out into the world.”
He threw his hands forward and laughed, but I wasn’t as amused.
I turned away before he could see the look of disappointment on my face. “Good luck today, but I’m sure you won’t need it.”
“Uh, same to you.” He definitely sensed something was wrong. Luckily, he knew better than to ask.
As soon as we parted ways I allowed myself to take a deep breath. What did I expect would happen between us? Maybe Anna was right. I should just settle and go for a guy like David. At least there’d be no broken hearts if I took that route.
Head in the game. Stop being such a lovesick puppy. I took another breath and promised myself that just for one day, I’d ignore the way Jacob made me feel. Of course, it was a lost cause considering where I was, but hell, I’d try my best.
I walked across the gym floor slowly, snapping pictures along the way. It was interesting to find such diversity amongst the different cyphers in my path. Especially since it seemed that everyone knew each other some way or another.
Click.
A group made up of older looking individuals gathered together, laughing and joking around. There were about four males who looked as if they were in their early thirties and one who looked as old as forty! There was one female with them who looked to be in her thirties as well and was decked out in a beanie, track pants, and sneakers. She looked like an older version of Vivian. The whole crew was cracking up over something and looked as if they were having the time of their lives.
Click.
Tight-lipped, strong-browed, and tense. That’s how I’d describe the second group I wandered to. Unlike the first group, they looked to be my age and a bit high-strung. No smiles, laughter, or anything joyous emitted from the group. Nope. These guys looked ready for business and it showed.
Click.
The crowd began to grow restless and I was sure Joe noticed because he soon came bounding toward the center of the floor. As usual he wore his trademark military jacket, only this time it had a few extra patches on it.
“I wonder if he had to earn those things like a Girl Scout,” I joked to myself. Grinning, I took another picture of him as he addressed the crowd.
“Yo! Let’s get this thing started!” Joe’s big voice boomed across the room.
As the people made their way toward their seats, I walked toward the painted line on the floor opposite to where Joe was standing, joining the other photographers who looked a hell of lot more experienced than me. I shrugged off my unease and did my best to focus on Joe. I was a bit happy he was MC’ing the battle. At least I could count for sort of familiarity.
“So for all you newbies out there,” Joe snuck me a peek and winked, “let me make this clear for you. This is the All-Styles Battle! Things are bigger! Better! More insane than any other battles you schmucks have probably attended. Remember any style of dance is allowed, though to be honest, I’m not sure any tutus will be winning it this year.”
As the audience laughed along with him, I shifted uneasily. “What the hell am I doing? This is stupid. This is totally out of my element. I should just grab Anna and go home.”
Just as I was fighting the urge to stalk off the gym floor I felt a familiar warmth on my cheek and immediately turned my head. I scanned the crowd of faces and caught eyes with Jacob, who was watching me from the stands. He nodded his head encouragingly and in return I gave a weak attempt at a smile. I didn’t just owe it to myself to stay, but I owed it to him for helping me all these weeks.
“Well, there goes my easy escape,” I muttered.
“Before we get started, let’s introduce the judges.” Joe motioned toward the panel of three on his left, who included a few members of the older cypher I had seen earlier. “First up in line for the judges’ exhibition is the infamous Limbo! For those of you too young to remember him, this man has been smoking cats long before you even attempted your first toprock.”
Click.
I watched the tanned, fit man walk to the center of the floor and roll his neck. He flashed a blinding smile and just looked happy.
“Limbo, tell the crowd how long you’ve been dancing,” Joe urged.
“Twenty-one years,” Limbo replied, laughing.
My eyes widened in surprise. “Twenty-one years?” I whispered. “He can’t be more than thirty-three.”
How the hell do people just know what they’re good at and what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives? Here I am still flailing around with no real grasp of ‘self’ yet.
I shook my head and snapped a few photos of Limbo dancing. It amazed me to think this man had been breaking the same age I was still playing with dolls. I snuck a glance at Jacob and noticed him watching Limbo carefully. Even from where I sat I couldn’t help but spot the look of admiration and respect on Jacob’s face.
That was when the whole picture finally hit me. Breaking was more than a culture. Like Anna had been trying to tell me all along, breaking was life for these dancers. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. Only this time the envy wasn’t for Jacob’s sake, but more so for my lack of passion. Would I ever find a niche?
Click.
After Limbo did his run he was followed by the other two judges, who each exhibited a different skill level than the younger crowd I was used to. It wasn’t as if they were better in that sense, but their energy level just seemed calm. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the reason the older breakers seemed more at ease was because they no longer had anything to prove. They’d paid their dues, but the younger breakers, including Jacob, still needed to pave their way to the top. It was a notion that became more painfully obvious the moment the battle began.
Click. Click. Click.
I couldn’t get enough pictures! The battle was raging and becoming more intense as the rounds dwindled down. Remembering Jacob’s lesson, I turned around and captured a few shots of the audience. It was a bit fun to listen to their excitement and cheers—especially when new competitors were announced.
“Next up, Puke and Kickwit!” Joe shouted into his microphone.
“OOOOHHHHHH!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the audience reaction. I took a few photos of the crowd waving their arms in the air, whooping and hollering. Wondering how Anna was holding up, I scanned the crowd and spotted her sitting on the very top of the bleachers. Gripping a massive sized soda in hand, she threw angry glances toward Shawn and his new girlfriend, who were only sitting a few rows away.
“Figures,” I muttered. “So much for her ‘I am better than you’ act.”
Click.
Joe’s baritone voice once again echoed across the gym. “Up on deck is Spinja!”
My head snapped up automatically. In fact, any time Jac
ob’s name was mentioned my whole body seemed to buzz in excitement. I tried hard to keep it cool and maintain a professional façade, especially since I was pretty sure Anna was watching my every move.
Click.
It didn’t matter how many battles I had already watched, how many of Joe’s jokes I listened to, nor did it matter how many hundreds of photos I’d already taken. Once Jacob stepped out to dance it was as if everything was erased and I was experiencing everything anew.
Click. Click. Click.
Jacob loved to dance. It was what set him apart from his competitors. Sure, the others probably enjoyed breaking in their own right, but Jacob’s passion was insurmountable.
He’s married to dance.
I wish you could love me like that, I thought longingly.
Chapter 20
Present
He was staring out the window again. Silent and almost eerie. We hadn’t spoken for about an hour and though I was happy to get some work done, I was completely over the cold shoulder.
“You said I broke your heart,” I called out.
Jacob jumped, obviously startled in the abrupt break of silence.
I didn’t care and pressed on. “Jacob? How did I break your heart?”
He looked down at the ground and shook his head. “You must be really dense not to know the answer to that.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. “Then call me dense because I have no idea how I could have done anything to hurt you. Especially since you hurt me.”
“That’s bullshit, E, and you know it.”
I immediately bowed my head in attempt to hide the pain on my face. It had been years since that night at Cal U and I always wondered if Jacob knew exactly what effect his actions had on me. Yet, despite all those years of blaming him for my own stupidity, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. The choices I made were mine and mine alone. It wasn’t Jacob’s heart I broke, but someone else’s.
My heart was just a casualty along the way.
Chapter 21
Past
“Congratulations, Jacob!”
“Yeah, way to kick some ass.”
Our small group gathered in our hotel room, raising shot glasses in the air. With the adrenaline and excitement buzzing through each of us, we clinked our glasses against one another so hard that splatters of liquor splashed against each of our hands. Ignoring the mess, we downed the shots, grimacing in unison. I took my time and nearly gagged once the bitter liquid coated my tongue.
“It’s better if you do it quick,” Anna whispered in my ear.
Having never been one to drink, taking a shot of tequila seemed a bit much for me. But when in Rome, right?
I threw the cool liquid down my throat and nearly coughed as the sharpness hit my esophagus. Anna reached out and rubbed my back lightly.
“Good job,” she whispered.
With my eyes watering, I hardly saw what was good in the situation, but nodded my head in a weak attempt to seem cool. “Y-yeah,” I stammered. “G—cough—good.”
Jacob walked over to us and threw his arm around my shoulder nonchalantly. Anna’s eyes widened in surprise as did Gemma’s, who stayed uncharacteristically away from him, huddled in the back corner by the air mattress someone had smuggled into the room.
“I should be saying congratulations to you, E,” he exclaimed, squeezing me lightly. “So, little grasshopper, how do you feel now you’ve survived your first professional photography gig?”
My lips trembled. “Um, okay, I guess? And I wouldn’t really say it was a professional gig.”
“Especially since I’m not paying her for it!” Joe joked from his corner of the room.
I shook my head and smiled. “But really, I couldn’t have done it without you. I can’t thank you enough.”
Jacob’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he threw me a warm smile. Never releasing his hold on me, he leaned toward the side of my face so his lips were mere centimeters from my ear. “Any chance I can take a look at what you got?”
If he didn’t stop, I was sure I’d pass out by the end of the night. I forced myself to breathe and shook my head, glancing over at my luggage which I had placed carefully beneath one of the double beds. “Not right now. I have some editing to do before I feel comfortable enough to show anyone.”
Pharaoh came up beside us and nudged Jacob’s shoulder. “The cabs are here. Let’s go! We got a lot of celebrating to do tonight.”
“First and second place!” Jacob exclaimed happily, high-fiving Pharaoh.
I was a bit disappointed when Jacob lifted his arm from my shoulders, but I kept the smile on my face. “So, where are we going tonight?”
“Club Mal. It’s downtown and I heard it’s awesome,” Jacob answered.
Anna shook her head and snorted. “Mal? Isn’t that Spanish for bad?”
Jacob shrugged. “I guess it’s the way ‘sick’ or ‘ill’ can be colloquial for good.”
“I guess,” Anna responded, sounding unconvinced, though I was pretty sure she was just being moody since she missed Lucas.
“Well, let’s get this night started, shall we?” Jacob grinned down at me and handed me a plastic card.
“Mila Donavan?” I questioned, staring at the fake I.D. Somehow Jacob had altered a photo of me, making me look a few years older.
Anna threw her head back and laughed. “Guess I’m not the only one who thinks you look like Mila Kunis.”
I shoved the I.D. into my pocket and bit my lip, trying hard to fight the feeling of horror creeping up on me.
“What? Are you afraid of getting in trouble or something?” Anna linked her arm through mine and gently pushed me forward.
“No, it’ just…have you ever had a gut feeling that something’s about to happen?”
Anna blinked in confusion. “Like what?”
“I don’t know…I just feel worried for some reason.” My hands dropped to my abdomen where I squeezed it lightly, trying to ease the anxiety settling in the pit of my stomach.
Anna quickened her pace, yanking me forward. She glanced to the side and threw me an unreadable expression.
“What’s your problem?” I hissed.
She waited until we were in the safety of the hallway out of Jacob’s earshot before answering. “Be careful tonight, Estelle.”
“And what do you mean by that?” My bad feeling instantly magnified.
“Don’t throw yourself at Jacob, okay?” Before I could respond, she placed a finger against her mouth, signaling me to be quiet. “I know this is your first time clubbing—”
“What did we say about assumptions?” I muttered, blowing air through my lips.
“Am I wrong?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow.
I bowed my head glumly and shook it. “No.”
“I thought so.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll throw myself at him.”
“The atmosphere—alcohol, music, sweat—it’s all sensual. Don’t get caught up in it, okay?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Jacob bounded down the hallway toward us before I had a chance. He had a slight frown on his face, which further amped up my nerves.
“Is anything wrong?” I asked.
“You…two look really good tonight.”
I glanced down at the tube dress Anna let me borrow. It was blinding pink…then again, why wouldn’t it be—and gave me curves that I didn’t know existed.
The corner of Anna’s lips curled up as she snuck me a coy look. “Thanks, Jake.”
Jacob scratched at his head. “Just stick close with us tonight. There’ll be a lot of different folk out there because of the event. Don’t want you ladies getting into trouble.”
My heart warmed at his concern. Unfortunately, Anna ruined the moment.
“Rats! That foils my plan about spending the night in jail!” She shook her fist in the air and stomped off toward the elevator
Jacob and I both groaned. Catching my eye, he grinned. “I wasn’t lying when I said you clean up pretty amaz
ing.”
I gulped. “The only one who looks amazing tonight is you.”
***
“Holy shit! Jacob wasn’t kidding! This place is packed!” Anna spun around and gaped at the crush of human bodies on the dance floor. It reminded me of a science film I’d seen once where a bunch of ants would stick together in water and move in unison.
“Excuse me! Get out of my way!” I lurched forward as a bunch of girls elbowed their way past us. I nearly toppled over but then I felt a firm grip on my elbow steadying me.
“Whoa there! What did I just say about getting yourselves into trouble?”
I gazed up at Jacob and straightened myself. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“Sure, I believe you,” he replied with a chuckle. He held out two small glasses of some bright green liquid. “Here.”
“What is this?” Anna grimaced, taking one of the cups into her hand.
“Some fruity frou-frou drink,” he responded. He threw me a glance. “I could tell you’re not much of a drinker. Figured this might help loosen you up without making you sick tomorrow.”
I took the drink from his hand, shivering when our skin brushed up against each other. “Thanks.”
Jacob nodded good-naturedly and motioned toward the dance floor. “Well, let’s have some fun, ladies.”
The strobe lights flashed on and off as fog continued to pour onto the floor. Anna and I swayed our hips to the music as we sipped on our tangy drinks. I hated to admit it, but I think it was that precise moment that I really felt like a college girl. How pathetic is that?
Anna reached out and grabbed my hand, spinning me around. I giggled, feeling the warm effect of alcohol pooling in my insides.
“Don’t look now, but we got a stalker,” Anna told me.
“Where?” I scanned around, but couldn’t see anything amidst the sweaty bodies grinding against each other.
“I said don’t look!”
“Who are you even talking about?” I shut my eyes and continued dancing along with the music. I felt too great to even worry about some imaginary stalker.
Breaking Hearts (B-boy Book 2) Page 12
