“We’re aware of that,” the nurse said to Emma’s surprise, her tone slightly impatient. “You said you worked in finances before, and now you’re in retail. What got you interested in the field, psychiatry specifically?”
The bad press your institution has gotten lately. The fact that the woman I’m in love with might be in the middle of something dangerous going on inside, and I can’t stand to be apart from her. Emma assumed that the truth wouldn’t help her case.
“I studied psychology as an undergrad. It was something I was always interested in, and I read a lot when I was in…I looked at all the options that are available to me now, and I think becoming a nurse’s aide is a good way to start. I plan to go back to school at some point. ”
In fact, the part-time position she’d found on the clinic’s website would allow her to still work at Kitty’s greeting card store and avoid a final decision for now. It wouldn’t be easy. Kitty was the first employer who had given her a chance after prison and the halfway house. Emma felt she owed her.
“You’re aware that you’ll be dealing with patients who have committed crimes, and they’re here as part of their sentence or to fulfill conditions for parole? It’s not your usual textbook situation.”
“I’m aware of that,” Emma said. “I think that my experience will help with that.”
“Actually, I agree with that,” the director said, the nurse’s reaction a slight frown that changed into a terse smile. “We’ll give it a try.”
“When can I start?”
“Alina can show you around, then tomorrow your probation time will start.”
“Wonderful. Thank you so much. I appreciate you giving me this chance.”
Emma felt more excited about the opportunity than she’d thought, even with all the complications it might bring. Jayce wouldn’t be too thrilled, but she would understand that Emma needed some sort of reassurance. She wasn’t scared of dealing with women who might have a criminal past. Some would try to manipulate the staff while others would simply mind their own business. Some were scared out of their mind, finding themselves in a bad place without truly understanding how they’d gotten there. She had seen all of it before, and this time, she’d be going home at the end of every day. She’d be okay. She hoped Jayce would be too.
It was odd to think that a few days ago she hadn’t even known this opportunity existed. The story Emma had told wasn’t a complete lie. With some money available to her, she had options, other than to keep working at Kitty’s Greeting Cards & Stationary. She could go back to school, earn a higher pay grade, and build a new career.
Working for Kitty was fairly safe and predictable, except when a co-worker had tried to set her up, but she was long gone. Kitty’s business was going well. For now, Emma didn’t have to worry about the job. She still was extremely grateful for the opportunity, but lately, she had begun to wonder if she should challenge herself more. There were avenues that were still open to her at her age, but the window might close in her face sometime soon. This temporary job would give her the chance to look into a different field she’d been interested in a long time ago. While she might not be able to see Jayce or talk to her, she’d know she was close.
It wasn’t the most rational approach, but to Emma, it felt right. Two weeks were too damn long.
She hadn’t told Kitty the whole truth yet, just asked for a half day which Kitty had eagerly granted her. Everyone in Jayce’s life had been so kind and helpful, Emma didn’t want to disappoint any of them. She’d just work harder.
Alina showed her the infirmary and introduced her to Tess, another nurse she’d be working with. So far, so good. Her role would be an assisting one, but she had more responsibility at the greeting card store.
Tess also did a class in health education as she was studying to become a therapist. She seemed open and easy enough to work with. So far, Emma’s plan was working.
Now she had to go and ask Kitty for more hours off. She’d work as much as she could, but she wouldn’t be able to keep her hours from overlapping. What she wanted to do in the future, Emma wasn’t completely sure of.
On her way out, she caught a glimpse of patients standing in the yard, talking, a couple of women smoking. Jayce was nowhere to be seen. It was probably better that way. Emma didn’t want to be a distraction once more.
She was an adult. She’d survive a day, and a few more, without her lover?
Emma boarded the bus that would bring her to the city. She sank into the worn seat with a sigh. This would not be easy, but when had her life ever been?
Jogging the last steps from the bus stop, she made it to the store just at the time she’d promised. Kitty was behind the counter, shaking her head at Emma’s breathless greeting.
“How did you know I was replaced by my evil twin who’d fire you if you were one minute late? Emma, come on.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you would…anyway. Can I talk to you later?”
The bell over the entrance rang, indicating another customer.
“Sure, but why don’t you come over to dinner tonight? I have some news for you too.” Since she sounded this cheery, it couldn’t be bad news. While Emma appreciated having a space of her own, she didn’t care much for being in it alone under the circumstances, so it was easy to make a decision.
“I’d love to,” she said and then turned to the customer, a woman in her thirties who was looking for wedding anniversary cards. For the next few hours, life felt almost normal, at least for what had been normal and encouraging in the past weeks. She didn’t think about her new part time occupation, or why she had taken it in the first place, telling herself this might be a stepping stone towards a future career.
Finally, Kitty closed the store. They finished the books for the day, and Emma swept the floor. It wasn’t in her job description, but she and the other employees shared chores like this with Kitty.
She wondered how Jayce’s day had gone.
* * * *
Jayce couldn’t help flinch when the door fell shut behind her, too many memories coming at her all at once. She had worked undercover in a prison before, and the halfway house. In the latter case, Emma had been a welcome distraction. In here, there was a high level of reflection expected from patients, which inevitably took her back to a time when her whole life could have spiraled out of control.
J. C. Turner was a blend of her undercover personae. Some aspects remained the same. In order to make it believable, she went for what had been the most painful and depressing episode, when she’d been struggling to get back on her feet after the accident. Usually, it got her an opening. Dr. Simmons who was conducting the interview listened with interest. Unlike the director, he was not in the know, and to him, the woman in the worn clothes, a haphazard braid hanging over her shoulder, was a patient like any other.
“We were running out of money, so a friend and I went to a pharmacy to get some. I got caught.”
“Is that the only thing you regret?” he asked. “I mean, by get some, you meant breaking into the pharmacy, and threatening the pharmacist who was still there, with a gun.”
“Well, since you’re asking, I’m not happy to be here. Chick who killed herself? I suppose she must have had a reason.”
“Unfortunately, but you don’t have to worry about that. Your story is a completely different one. If you’re successful here, you could look at a much shorter sentence…I believe that’s an incentive?”
“I want to get clean. The gun wasn’t even mine, and yes, that was a stupid idea.”
“How did you get into this in the first place? There’s little information on that in your file.”
Jayce shrugged. “I was trying to go back to school, working two jobs at the same time.”
“A lot of people do that.”
She’d made up her mind about him before he’d said that. Even if Simmons hadn’t killed anyone, he was not a pleasant person, talking to her with an air of disdain. Yes, her character had made bad choices, b
ut he was also a psychiatrist and should be able to understand the grip of addiction. Part of her emotional reaction to the man was not an act, but it didn’t matter. She was here to find out who had killed the woman whose death was still assumed to be a suicide in this institution.
“Yeah, well, you can see it didn’t work out for me. Hanging around all those younger kids, they used all kinds of stuff, staying up all night to study, then something else to counter the effect so they could sleep, not to mention the drinking.”
“You’ve had blackouts, memory gaps?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Humor me, Ms. Turner. I’m trying to get the whole picture, see where you’re coming from.”
“I don’t think I did, no.”
“You went to those parties often? That’s where you met the friend who let you down?”
“You could say that.” Her hand went up to play with her braid. J. C. was not a patient person.
“Whose fault do you think it is that you’re here now?”
Jayce scoffed at the question. “You don’t think I know you’re trying to trick me? It’s his fault. And mine. He got the better deal, that’s all.”
“You think a chance at turning your life around is not a good deal?”
“It’s the only deal I could get. Let’s leave it at that.”
During their conversation, Jayce had studied the office. It was unlikely that he or anyone would hide anything compromising at work, but if there was an opportunity to take a look sometime soon, she would take it. For now she’d spend time finding out what theories the staff and patients had about the suspicious death, and try to get a better image of Gillian Thorne’s life in the past weeks. There had already been an incident where a male patient had attacked Dr. Simmons in the men’s facility, the building next door. He had claimed to have done it in self-defense, though he never clarified what he had to defend himself against. Then, Gillian Thorne’s apparent suicide within one month.
Jayce already knew that she couldn’t have had access to the drugs that had killed her unless someone had helped her, or forced her to take them. It wasn’t something a patient could have planned and executed by herself, so her focus would be on the staff. And Dr. Simmons, already accused of wrongdoing by a patient, was high on that list.
Even though the doors were locked behind them, there were common areas most of them had access to, based on their conduct in the facility. Jayce planned to stay under the radar as best as she could, get to know the other patients, find out what the talk about Thorne was, and who was scared the most.
There was a firm structure, a lot more rigid than in the halfway house where inhabitants were expected to actively work towards their reintegration—not that this was a vacation. There were therapy sessions, group and individual, different approaches, educational classes about substance abuse, meetings with the social worker and the parole officer for those who were approaching their release.
After having gotten out of bed around 4:00 a.m., Jayce was tired, craving a coffee in the afternoon. It wasn’t likely she’d get one anytime soon, not the real kind anyway.
When it was time for a break, she studied the therapist who was nervously shuffling her papers on her desk, before she joined the other patients in the yard. Jayce was aware of the glances sent her way, curious, appraising, the same as in any context like this. There were certain rules behind locked doors, and the silent questions were all about whether or not she’d be a threat to the existing power structures. These women had been given second chances, but many of them had violent offenses on their records. Like J. C. She stood leaning against the fence, pretending not to pay attention. A tall blonde standing with a group of four came over to her. Jayce was aware of the other women watching them curiously.
“Hey. I saw you in class earlier. You’re new?”
“Yeah. I got here today. Not the worst place.”
“Where did you come from?”
“Women’s facility in Morgan County.”
The woman whistled. “You’re lucky then. Who did you sleep with? Normally you don’t get out of Morgan so easily. Unless…”
Jayce shrugged. “I had a good lawyer. I’m J. C.”
“Eileen. Want a tip? Watch out for Simmons. He’s a creep.”
“How so?”
“You’ll find out. Enjoy your stay, J.C.” She went back to her group. One of the women, a brunette, looked irritated with Eileen. Jayce realized in a heartbeat why she looked familiar. Not someone she wanted to meet, but she didn’t think it would affect her assignment in any way, other that she was still angry at her. No distractions—the sooner she could get out of here, the better.
Jayce wasn’t looking forward to the class about medication abuse either.
* * * *
“So we haven’t had a vacation in…” Kitty sent a questioning look toward Daniel, obviously trying to come up with a number. “Forever. We’d like to book a getaway, and I’m thinking you could take care of the store for a couple of weeks. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you accordingly. I assume you will want to put some of the money from the lawsuit away? Am I too nosy?”
“No, it’s not that. I’m sorry, you’re right, I don’t plan on spending it. That is…a great offer.”
Kitty’s good news presented a new dilemma, something Emma hadn’t considered.
“I’ve been talking too much.” Kitty laughed. “I know there’s something you wanted to ask, so I better let you get a word in now.”
“That’s okay.” Emma paused, wondering what Kitty and Daniel would think about her plans, and if they’d consider them unforgivably selfish—or crazy. “I didn’t expect this. I’m glad you trust me with the store, but I…I kind of took on another part time job. I was hoping I could still work at the store?”
“Really?” Kitty sounded more surprised than offended. “That’s okay, I’m sure we can work something out. What kind of job?”
“As a nurse’s aide. I figured that I could use some of the money from the settlement to go back to school.” Emma blushed hotly for no good reason. She had a right to take her future into her own hands, didn’t she? Except she might not have considered this job at all if it hadn’t been for Jayce’s assignment.
“Weren’t you in finances before?” Daniel asked.
“Yes, but…I don’t know. They were pretty nice to me at the hospital when I explained my situation, but I’m not sure if I could do the same work as before. I’d feel like people would still not trust me. It seems like a better idea to go into a whole different direction.”
“If that’s what you want, sure,” Kitty said. “You have to remember though that there are different options. You already have an education. I want to expand and open another store sometime soon, hence the vacation. If we don’t do it now, we won’t get the chance for some time to come. I’m sure you could manage this one—if you want, that is.”
It sounded logical. In fact, compared to this, her own idea looked even crazier. Emma wished she could talk this over with Jayce.
Kitty and Daniel shared a smile.
“I know,” she said, “now is probably not the best time for you to make a decision. In fact, Daniel won’t be able to get away before Jayce is back at work, so you have that much time. Is that okay with you?”
Only months ago, Emma had hidden from the world best she could. Now she had love, friends, and a cat that wasn’t entirely indifferent—could life get any better? It sure would in a couple of weeks.
“Thank you so much,” she said. “I had no idea, but…this is good news indeed. I promise I’ll think about it.”
* * * *
Jayce saw the therapist again, heading towards the exit, apparently happy to leave the place. Dr. Elizabeth Tanner. All employees had been questioned before, but Tanner might be hiding something. She wouldn’t confide in a patient, but one of the patients could probably tell more about her relationship with Thorne. Tomorrow, Jayce would see her for individual therapy.
Heading ba
ck to her room after dinner, Jayce realized that Eileen’s was right across from hers. That was convenient too. She wanted to hear more about Simmons.
Then there was Maxine Brown. Jayce had to approach her like any other patient, regard her story with the same emotional distance she’d apply to the other women. This one was a tough case. She couldn’t see past the fact that Emma’s ex was responsible for the sharp and disturbing U-turn in her life. For the sake of the case, she had to. At least, Emma was far from this place—the thought was consoling.
It didn’t mean Jayce had a restful night. In a place like this, it was never completely silent. She thought she heard someone crying, but that might be from a dream she’d slipped into. She and Emma had stayed over at each other’s places so often lately that she was starting to have trouble sleeping alone.
Her appointment with Tanner. J. C.’s story varied slightly wherever she went, but key elements remained. Some of them were reminders of a place she never wanted to return to.
When she accepted the assignment in the halfway house, Jayce had something to prove. That was over. These days, there was a lot more at stake.
She fell asleep with plans to ask Tanner a few subtle questions, and carefully insert herself into Eileen’s group. Her approach yesterday, for all the group to see, was significant. To the women here, she had some authority.
There were nurses Alina and Tess. She might wait a day or so, then ask for something to help her sleep and test how much the staff was going by the book.
Before her appointment, she passed through the day room, wondering if she had time for a coffee—even being decaf, the smell was tempting—when she saw Maxine standing by the machine. In the relatively short time Maxine had spent here, her conduct had to have been outstanding if she was already allowed privileges. That was curious, especially after her sister Deirdre had tried to trick Emma into a dangerous scheme not long ago.
It’s too damn hard to avoid these people.
“Hey there.” Maxine spoke to her before she could back away, and, to Jayce’s surprise, gave a smile. “It’s not half bad. You get used to the stuff quickly.”
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