Battle With the Britons!

Home > Other > Battle With the Britons! > Page 2
Battle With the Britons! Page 2

by Gary Northfield


  Just go kick some

  gladiator BUTT!

  “Julius, Julianne, Julio! Whatever!” replied Pliny,

  pushing Julius into his cage.

  Tod

  ay

  is

  the

  day

  I

  win

  our

  free

  dom

  !

  Th

  is

  is

  IT!

  Julius’s heart pounded as the cage lifted up toward

  the ceiling, scraping roughly against the stone walls.

  Over the creaking of the stiff wooden frames, Julius

  could clearly make out the chanting of the crowd.

  “ZEBRA! ZEBRA! ZEBRA!”

  CHAPTER TWO

  ZEBRAMANIA!

  Hey!

  The cage stopped moving with a great

  THUMP, and Julius grabbed the wooden bars

  to keep himself from falling over.

  Just above him he could hear the voice of the

  summa rudis, the referee.

  “CITIZENS OF ROME!” bellowed the summa

  rudis. “As you all know, to celebrate the Festival

  of Quinquatria, Emperor Hadrian has decreed

  that you should enjoy a day of FEASTING and

  FIGHTING!” The crowd roared. “THE FIRST

  OPPONENT,” he screamed, “Rome’s very own

  PEOPLE’S CHAMPION, JULIUS ZEBRA!”

  A trapdoor opened in front of Julius to

  thunderous cheers and the blast of a hundred

  trumpets. He bounded through the hatchway.

  He should be

  careful. One

  day he’ll catch

  that sword

  in his skull.

  With any

  luck!

  Julius threw up his arms to greet the crowd of

  eighty-thousand roaring his name so loudly that

  the whole amphitheater shook.

  Eager to show off his skills, Julius leaped into a

  backward somersault, throwing his sword into the

  air. Then he deftly caught it while landing nimbly on

  the arena floor like a cat. The audience erupted into

  another round of chanting and cheering.

  Watching from the sidelines, Julius’s friends were

  on their feet, clapping and cheering him along.

  Over on the other side of the arena, in his gold-

  and-marble royal box, sat the Emperor Hadrian,

  enthusiastically applauding his zebra champion.

  Excellent! thought Julius. Hadrian seems to be in a

  good mood. There’s no way he won’t grant me my freedom

  today!

  In the center of the arena stood the summa rudis,

  a beefy man in a white tunic with two long blue

  parallel stripes. In his right hand, he held a big stick.

  Oof!

  The summa rudis shouted to be heard.

  “THE SECOND OPPONENT!” he screamed. “ALL

  THE WAY FROM THE CITY OF ALEXANDRIA,

  IN EGYPT, the mighty camel warrior IMHOTEP!”

  From the gates, a camel came stumbling in, his

  loose, ill-fitting armor rattling as he scrambled across

  the arena floor. As he reached the summa rudis, he

  tripped over his spear and landed in a clattering heap

  on the floor.

  Knock his block off!

  Kill him!

  The crowd roared with laughter.

  On the sidelines, Milus shook his head in despair.

  “Where do they find these idiots?”

  Julius took up his position in the arena and

  smacked his sword into his shield with a dramatic

  growl. This sent the crowd into another frenzy.

  Imhotep gulped and took a small step backward.

  He glanced over his shoulder as the zebra-crazy

  spectators hurled insults and rotten food in his

  direction.

  Imhotep timidly shuffled backward, his armor

  jangling as he shivered with fear. “Come on!” cried

  Julius. “At least TRY to hit me with your spear. Give

  these guys a bit of a show. I promise I won’t hurt

  Holding up their G-shaped horns, the cornicines

  trumpeted the start of the fight, and the summa rudis

  stepped aside. The Colosseum roared.

  Flicking his sword from behind his shield, Julius

  edged confidently toward the twitchy Egyptian

  camel.

  “GET HIM!” yelled the crowd. “LOP HIS

  HEAD OFF! FINISH HIM!”

  Use your

  eye lightning,

  Julius!

  Yeah!

  ZAP HIM!

  Imhotep finally collapsed onto the ground,

  sobbing. “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME, ZEBRA!”

  he cried. “DON’T BLOW ME UP WITH MAGIC

  LIGHTNING FROM YOUR EYES!”

  you too much!” The camel shook his head. Rotten

  vegetables spattered his nice shiny headdress.

  Boo!

  Boo!

  So

  funny!

  Julius is

  a comedy

  GENIUS!

  Lame!

  Brilliant!

  “Come on,” said Julius, turning to the crowd.

  “You think I should bust this camel’s HUMP?”

  Julius stood over the blubbering camel and kicked

  his spear away with his hoof. “I shall spare your life,

  Imhotep,” he declared. “No lightning shall pass from

  my eyes today.”

  He

  skipped

  out!

  Hey,

  where’s the

  emperor?

  Pliny turned to Milus. “Please tell me he didn’t

  really just say that.”

  “I’m afraid he did,” replied Milus flatly.

  In the arena, the summa rudis grabbed Julius’s arm

  and thrust it into the air. “THE WINNER!” he

  announced.

  Julius turned to the royal box to seek the emperor’s

  approval and his long-awaited promise of freedom.

  But the royal box was empty. Hadrian was gone!

  Julius! Hadrian ran

  off five minutes ago!

  ?

  “Milus saw him get a message, then he stormed

  away in a huff!”

  Julius flopped to the ground in despair. “But he

  PROMISED!” he wailed.

  Felix tried to console him. “If it helps, Hadrian

  didn’t look happy to leave. He was really enjoying

  himself until he bailed. . . .”

  Julius looked like he was ready to burst into tears.

  “We’ll NEVER win our freedom!” he whimpered.

  “We’ll be stuck in this Roman dump for the REST OF

  OUR LIVES!”

  Julius’s friends came dashing across the arena.

  Hadrian

  wants to see

  you in the

  morning.

  Seems

  he has

  “exciting”

  news for

  you.

  “OOH! A SURPRISE!” squealed Julius,

  clapping his hooves. “I LOVE surprises!”

  As Julius dragged himself up and began to shuffle

  out of the arena, a familiar figure stood in his way.

  “Then you’ll be pleased to hear my news, Donkey!”

  came a gruff voice.

  “Septimus,” groaned Julius.

  The towering figure of the lanista, boss of the

  gladiator school, stood in front of them, hands on

  his hips.

  W

  e

  ’r

  e

>   n

  g

  o

  i

  g

  o

  n

  vacation.

  T

  ra

  la

  la

  la

  !

  “I wouldn’t trust these scoundrels as far as I could

  throw them,” Milus growled. “The only trip we’re

  going on is to the forests of Germania to face the

  BARBARIAN HORDE!”

  “He wants to see you all in the school arena at

  sunrise,” growled Septimus. “And make sure your

  knapsacks are packed. You’re going on a nice long trip!”

  Julius and the others were beside themselves with

  glee. “A LONG TRIP?” cried Julius. “WE’RE GOING

  ON VACATION!”

  Come on.

  WAKE UP,

  everyone!

  We’re going

  on vacation!

  ?

  All the animals quickly got dressed, ate their bowls

  of oatmeal, and dashed down to the small arena in

  the center of the school.

  Septimus strode in, clapping his hands. “LINE UP

  IN THE MIDDLE, YOU LOWLIFES! QUICKLY!

  QUICKLY!”

  At the first crow of the rooster the next morning,

  Julius sprang out of bed.

  CHAPTER THREE

  ROMAN HOLIDAY!

  This is SO

  exciting!

  I hear Naples

  is beautiful this

  time of year!

  We can catch

  crabs and

  EVERYTHING!

  And fish!

  Imagine the

  ROCKS

  I’ll find!

  Scream!

  “I ought to send you all straight to the galleys as

  punishment!” he yelled.

  “BY THE FIERY BEARD OF JUPITER, WHAT

  DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ALL DOING?”

  Septimus bellowed. “I said pack your knapsacks, not

  dress up as CLOWNS!” He stormed up to Rufus,

  snatched his fishing rod from his hoof, and snapped

  it in two over his own knee.

  Ooh! I’ve

  always liked

  the galleys!

  Mmm . . . pebbles.

  Y

  ip

  p

  e

  e

  !

  All the

  rowing

  builds up

  your arms!

  Septimus leaned in to Cornelius’s face. “It’s not

  FUN, Warthog, it’s HORRIBLE!”

  “Forget that!” cried Felix. “Tell us about this great

  vacation! Will there be pebble beaches?”

  I’ll explain

  everything

  now, Lion.

  Hadrian?

  Milus grabbed Septimus by his tunic and pulled

  him up to his big teeth. “And please,” he snarled, “be

  sure to explain how it is we’re being sent on vacation,

  as opposed to being set free . . . ?”

  Suddenly, from the east entrance to the arena,

  Emperor Hadrian strode in, flanked by elite Roman

  guards.

  What,

  even me?

  Yes, Crocodilus,

  even you!

  How marvelous.

  Milus reluctantly dropped Septimus, who

  harrumphed and adjusted his crumpled tunic.

  Hadrian addressed the animals. “Listen to me,

  beasts: Julius’s battle yesterday at the Festival of

  Quinquatria convinced me that he is one of the

  greatest champions of Rome.” He walked up and

  down, looking at the animals proudly. “In fact,

  throughout the empire, you are now ALL legends,

  heroes that every man and creature aspires to be!”

  Win that, and

  THEN I shall

  grant you

  your freedom!

  I have

  arranged a

  tournament

  for you all.

  He stared Julius right in his eyes. Julius blinked

  nervously.

  “Sounds fair enough,” he mumbled. “Where are we

  going, then? Gaul? Egypt? Will I need my sand toys?”

  Hadrian stopped in front of Julius and placed his

  hand on the zebra’s shoulder. “So much so that I need

  you, my People’s Champions, to go to the distant

  corner of our empire and INSPIRE my citizens!” He

  waved his fist triumphantly in the air. “I want you

  to show them what it means to be a WARRIOR

  ROMAN!”

  It is a strange

  and distant land.

  Only

  A FOOL

  would go

  there for a

  vacation.

  “We are sending you to BRITANNIA!”

  declared Hadrian. All the animals looked at one

  another, bewildered.

  “BRITANNIA?” cried Julius. “Oh, how PERFECT!”

  “Ah.” Hadrian smiled, impressed. “You have heard

  of our exotic little outpost, then?”

  “Ooh, no, never heard of it!” replied Julius. “I’m

  just excited about going on vacay!”

  Cornelius’s grin turned into a grimace. “I’ve heard

  of it,” he whispered to Julius, “and it’s not good.”

  What

  do YOU

  think?

  Milus was also unconvinced. “So, we just turn up,

  entertain the locals, and then we can go free?”

  “Yes!” replied Hadrian. “Something like that.”

  He turned to Septimus. “Get them ready, Septimus.

  The ship leaves at noon.”

  “YOU HEARD THE EMPEROR!” Septimus

  bellowed. “NOW PACK YOUR BAGS LIKE REAL

  WARRIORS AND BE READY AT NOON!”

  Felix put up his hoof. Septimus nearly collapsed in

  frustration. “WHAT IS IT NOW?”

  “Um, so will we be needing sand toys on this trip?

  Hadrian wasn’t very clear.”

  Felix thought for a moment. “I’m thinking . . . yes?”

  Septimus moved his head closer to Felix’s face and

  let out a low growl.

  “NO!” squealed Felix. “I mean, no!”

  Septimus leaned back. “CORRECT answer!

  Now, get moving. And if I see one single sand toy,

  you’ll ALL be on a one-way trip to the battlefields of

  GERMANIA!”

  Ugh.

  O

  h

  ,

  I

  do

  li

  k

  e

  to

  b

  e

  b

  e

  s

  i

  d

  e

  th

  e

  se

  a!

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ALL ABOARD!

  By noon, everyone was packed and ready to leave.

  They jumped onto the back of a cart waiting to take

  them to the port of Ostia.

  Julius was so excited that he decided it was time for

  a sing-along to get everyone in the vacation mood.

  “Come on, everybody, after me! OH, I DO LIKE

  TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE!”

  Up to no good,

  I’m sure!

  Hey, what

  are those two

  whispering

  about?

  “Those two are ALWAYS whispering to each

  other!” replied Cornelius. “They’re like a couple

  of old busybodies.”

  Milus let
out a big huff. “Well, I don’t like it

  one bit. In fact,” he growled, “I don’t like this

  ‘trip’ one bit!”

  As the others joined in, Julius noticed that

  Septimus was having a quiet chat with his champion

  gladiator, Victorius.

  Lighten

  up, ya big

  GRUMP!

  Grr.

  R

  u

  ff

  le

  R

  u

  ff

  le

  “You ALWAYS see the worst in everything! I’m

  just desperate to get this trip started!”

  Julius leaned out of the cart and called out to

  Septimus. “COME ON! I’m sure you’ll see each other

  again! Just give that idiot a big kiss and LET’S GET

  GOING!”

  “ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!” growled Septimus

  as he stormed to the cart and hopped onto his seat.

  “Insolent animals! If I had my way, you’d be well on

  your way to —”

  Julius gave the lion a big ruffle of his ratty mane.

  Sigh.

  We

  know!

  And so, finally, they all sped off to the great Roman

  port of Ostia, where, an hour later, they found their

  ship waiting for them at the dock.

  Gosh!

  Wow!

  A

  L

  L

  AB

  O

  A

  R

  D!

  Do you

  mean doing

  jumping

  jacks?

  “CORRECT!” cried Septimus. “I DO mean doing

  jumping jacks. AND peeling potatoes and any other

  awful jobs I can think of to keep you out of trouble!”

  “BAH!” blurted Milus. “I told you! Some

  vacation this is going to be!”

  They ran onto the deck and began exploring the

  impressive vessel and all its nooks and crannies.

  “Right, you dopes!” shouted Septimus as he

  came on board. “Line up on the deck NOW!” They

  all scooted to the middle of the ship, lining up as

 

‹ Prev