“I can see that,” Erin murmured, feeling sudden compassion for his ex-wife. “Do many women without a military background have trouble adjusting?” she asked.
Ty took a deep, steadying breath. “You’d better believe it. They either adjust quickly or the marriage dies. There’s no in between. If you marry an officer, you’ve just acquired the air force as a mother-in-law. Anne and I faced the usual tensions. I was a young lieutenant trying to get ahead, and I took on extra duties. I’d come home with my work and, although I tried to divide my time between the job and Anne, our relationship started falling apart.”
“It doesn’t seem fair to the woman,” Erin said, frowning
“It isn’t,” he agreed soberly.
“But she tried?”
Ty nodded. “Yes, we both did. The final split came when I got the promotion I wanted and was assigned to other extra duty. You see, there’s a real problem in the SAC ranking system, Erin. The idea is not just to fly and remain a lieutenant or captain forever. In SAC everyone is highly trained. We’re all about the same in caliber and quality. There’s nothing that sets us apart from one another. So we end up taking on extra duties to shine, if you will, and be noticed for the next promotion.”
“It sounds like a rough way to live.”
“For the women and children, it is. Being a military wife, in my mind, is one of the most demanding jobs in the world. Not only do they have to adjust to military life, but also their husbands are gone a great deal of the time, flying long missions. They come home absolutely exhausted. I can remember times when I’d fly a sixteen-hour flight, come home and sleep for ten hours. Naturally Anne would want to see me, talk to me, tell me what had gone right or wrong in my absence. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. She felt shut out, abandoned.” His expression became troubled. “A military wife either develops a backbone of steel and plenty of independence or she breaks under the system.”
“And Anne broke?”
“Yes. It broke me, too. I loved her.” He sat up, resting his elbows on the table. “That was six years ago. The pain has gone with time. But I learned from the experience,” he observed wryly.
Erin remembered her own pain, the bitterness she still felt toward the air force for allowing her husband to be killed. “Yes,” she answered softly, “I know all about that, too.”
The waitress brought their orders, and they ate in silence. Erin chastised herself for broaching the subject of Ty’s broken marriage. He didn’t strike her as a man who would give up easily on something he loved or cared about. She wondered if Anne had truly tried to adjust. Perhaps her immaturity had been as responsible for the breakup as Ty’s determination to pursue a career in the military. It seemed that Ty would never put the blame on Anne’s shoulders. Instead, he had stacked the evidence against himself. His fairness and consideration made her feel warm all over.
After the dishes had been cleared away, Ty continued the conversation. “I want to ask you a very personal question, Erin,” he said. “And if you want to tell me that it’s none of my business, I’ll understand.”
Her heart squeezed as she stared across the table at him. His tone was probing, but gentle. She knew she couldn’t refuse him and she lowered her gaze. “I know what you’re going to ask.”
“I don’t want to know out of idle curiosity, if that makes it any easier for you,” he murmured.
She chewed on her lower lip. Finally, she raised her head, meeting his concerned gaze. He was bestowing the same indefinable warmth and care on her that he had shown for Anne. The realization made it easier to share with him. “I’m not a stranger to the military world, Ty,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I got married right out of high school to Steven Rosen. He had just come out of army officers’ school, and we were assigned to a large base in California.” She knotted the napkin in her lap. “I was hopelessly in love with him. At eighteen I was a starry-eyed romantic and very idealistic.” She forced a smile. “It wasn’t a very good combination.”
“But there’s nothing wrong with it, either,” Ty returned.
“It didn’t help, in my case. Steve was doing a lot of flying out of Travis Air Force Base with the C-130s at that time.”
Ty drew in a sharp breath. “Don’t tell me he died in a crash?”
A knot formed in Erin’s throat. “Yes. Yes, he did. I was twenty years old when it happened. They found out later that it was pilot error. It—it made it all the harder to bear, Ty.”
“What a rotten thing to happen,” he growled. He looked at her keenly, his blue eyes narrowing with intensity. “You had every reason to hate the way you did, Erin.” “No, not really. Like I said,” she murmured, taking an unsteady gulp of air, “I was young, naive and idealistic. Having Steve torn from me scarred my heart for a long, long time afterward. But looking back on it, I wonder if our marriage would have lasted. Even at eighteen I felt a strong need to pursue my own career. Steve didn’t understand why I needed to be outside the house. He was often angry at me.”
“He was threatened?” Ty asked gently.
“Yes. Frankly, I don’t think his male ego could have dealt with another breadwinner in the family. But at that age I didn’t realize what some of the implications were for a few years from then. During the two years of our marriage I went to college and worked toward a degree in journalism.”
“Steve sounds like an aggressive type of military officer,” Ty observed.
“He wasn’t only militarily inclined, Ty; he was militaristic. His bearing, manner and intelligence won him the immediate respect of his superiors. That’s why they were grooming him for higher rank. He was a golden boy of sorts.”
Ty shook his head ruefully. “I would never have thought that you and I had similar pasts.”
“I know,” she murmured, feeling emotionally drained.
“So when you got this assignment, it was like re-opening old wounds.”
Erin nodded. “Yes. I tried to get out of it. But if I do a good job, I may get a promotion. I’m tired of traveling all over the country for stories. I’d like to stay put for a while.”
He smiled. “Just for a while, darlin’. You’ll always enjoy your work, but maybe in a different capacity.”
She agreed. “Maybe I’m just tired.”
“You know, coming up to Sawyer could be a little vacation for you.”
“How?”
His gaze grew intimate. “According to the itinerary you’ll stay at the distinguished visitors’ quarters. However, I just happen to live off base in a beautiful wooded area south of Marquette. There’s plenty of room to hike and picnic. Strictly a personal invitation, you understand, for an afternoon. The air force would probably frown on our spending time together, but that’s their problem. What do you say?”
She broke into a broad smile. “It sounds wonderful!”
“Great. We’ll take half a day off from your grueling schedule before the Buff flight and play hooky. That ought to put that poor public-affairs lieutenant into a tailspin.”
“I’ll call him and ask for a lighter schedule. That way I won’t be stepping on any feet or causing hard feelings.”
“Do that. Besides, who said all work and no play is good?”
“Not me,” Erin said, suddenly aware of an overwhelming happiness.
Ty glanced at his watch. “It’s about that time, gal. We’d best get a move on or you’ll miss your flight.” He flashed her a smile as he rose. “An army wife,” he teased gently. “I’ll never let you live it down.”
She stood, following him out of the dining room, feeling freer than she had in a long time. His teasing about her past no longer bothered her. Maybe the simple act of talking to someone who understood the situation she’d been in and the pain she’d faced had helped to finally heal the old wound. Ty opened the door for her and casually draped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her near.
“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered fiercely.
Erin’s arm went around his lean w
aist. “It’s been good meeting you, too, Captain Phillips,” she baited, smiling up at him.
“You’re heady stuff, gal. I’m going to need a month to recover from this encounter. You’re worse than a magnetic storm to my gyro.”
Erin laughed at his ridiculous metaphor. “Spoken like a true Buff pilot,” she told him. Their words were light, but underneath she knew they would miss each other.
The thought made her feel panic as well as joy. She felt protected within his arms, intensely aware of his strength of body and character. He had shortened his stride for her sake and she was grateful. She hoped to keep their parting light.
Suddenly her life seemed to be spiraling into a tailspin. Where was she going? What was happening? How did Ty fit into the larger picture of her life? Or did he? Icy waters of reality seemed to have been thrown over her ebullient mood. She was walking with an incredibly handsome man with attributes that struck responsive chords deep within her. But he wore an air force uniform, and his career was a demanding, brutal mistress. Some of her happiness ebbed away. Seeming to sense it, Ty gave her a gentle embrace.
“Something wrong?”
She glanced guiltily up at him. “No,” she lied.
“You were walking on air a moment ago,” he observed, studying her.
She squirmed beneath his radar-sharp gaze. “Stop being so damn perceptive!” she accused in a teasing voice.
“Hmmm, my Irishwoman has gone moody on me now.”
“You, of all people, shouldn’t be surprised.”
He grinned boyishly. “I’m not. And never will be. That’s another thing I like about you, Erin Quinlan. You make no excuse for how you feel, from one quicksilver moment to another. It makes you a provocative, fascinating creature.” His voice had sunk to a husky whisper.
“In your eyes only,” she contradicted, embarrassed by his words.
He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her hair. “That’s all that counts, darlin’. Come on. Let’s get your luggage and meet that plane.”
They didn’t say much after dispensing with her bags and getting her boarding pass for the flight. What was there to say?
Erin dreaded hearing the call to board. Ty lounged beside her like a lion lazing in the late-afternoon sun. She smiled secretly, amazed at how youthful he looked out of uniform. His lean, muscular legs were spread before him and he seemed poured into the lounge chair.
Several times she opened her mouth to speak and bit back the words, afraid of his recrimination, which might follow. Had two days gone by? It seemed as if they had known each other forever.
He had sobered greatly since coming to the airport. Was he going to miss her? What did she mean to him? Again the urge to ask him almost made her speak, but she gripped her purse and stared down at it, fighting back the temptation to force him to say things he might not be ready to say.
Just then the ticket agent announced the boarding. Almost simultaneously Erin felt Ty’s reassuring fingers sliding down her wrist, capturing her hand firmly. She looked up at him. Suddenly, it was too late to say the things she needed desperately to tell him. He offered her a tender smile.
“Come on, my beautiful banshee. Let’s get you aboard so your editor doesn’t have cardiac arrest wondering why you don’t show up on time.”
Erin rose, glad that he still held her hand. “Don’t worry. He wouldn’t have a heart attack,” she said. “Just as long as the article meets the deadline at the end of November, he won’t care where I am.” She cringed inwardly. Good Lord! What suggestions was she making?
Ty watched her with an unreadable expression. “You might not get in hot water, but I would. If I don’t show up at K. I. Siberia tonight, all hell will break loose.”
She gave a little laugh. “K. I. Siberia? Is that what you fondly call your air base?”
“Yup. We get two hundred and ten inches of snow each year. I’ve taken up snow sports in defense. A lot of the guys hate the Northern Tier bases because they’re so desolate and isolated.”
“You don’t seem to mind?”
“No. I learned to ski and ice fish.” He grinned and pulled her to a halt. “That’s better, gal. You look so damn tempting when you smile.” He reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. His face became serious and his eyes grew dark as he looked down at her. It was as if he were trying to keep her in his mind forever. “But I’ll tell you,” he added, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders, “if anything or anyone could entice me not to show up at base, it would be you, darlin’.”
She tried to muster a smile for both of them, but her heart twisted with sadness. Ty had affected her so deeply in such a short time that she felt the anguish of their parting keenly. Her inner struggle must have shown in her eyes because Ty gave her a small shake.
“You got a boyfriend waiting to pick you up at La Guardia?” he asked.
She gave him a shocked look and blurted out, “Why—no!”
“Hmm. That’s good for a start. What about a steady guy waiting to see you come back to the big city?”
She managed an embarrassed laugh. “Really, Ty! What if there is?”
His eyes darkened to a cobalt-blue and a grim smile hovered around his sensual mouth. “If you do, gal, then he’s got some heavy competition on his hands. You tell him that for me.”
“Do all you bomber pilots go around threatening men whose women you want?” she demanded, caught up in his teasing.
“We got a few sayings for bomber pilots,” he agreed gravely. “You might want to pass them on to him just in case.”
“Okay,” she returned just as gravely, matching his droll expression.
“One is—you’ve gotta be tough to fly the heavies. The other is—tough enough to fly the Buff. Either one will suffice. He’ll get the message.”
She grinned. “My, my. You bomber pilots play for keeps, don’t you?”
Ty guided her toward the corridor leading down to the plane. “We aren’t like fighter jockeys who get frontal lobotomies to fly those hotshot aircraft, darlin’. We take our time, watch, weigh and measure everything before we move in. But once we do, it’s for keeps.” His words seemed both a promise and a threat.
She halted, turning and facing him, amazed by his ability to lift her flagging spirits. “One thing for sure, Captain Phillips. I’ve completely reevaluated bomber pilots. They aren’t stupid, slow, or slothful. Instead, I think you’re all dominating, manipulative and shrewd!”
Ty laughed heartily. “I’m not sure I want to trade one for the other.” He stared down at her, his smile fading. “Give me a hug and then do an about-face and get on that plane. Otherwise, I’m not going to be responsible for my actions,” he ordered huskily.
It was so easy to fall into his arms and allow his lean, male body to support her completely. His arms tightened around her, and she rested her head against his shoulder for a brief moment. Her heart was hammering painfully in her breast. At that instant she didn’t want to leave him. He pushed her gently away, a tender smile on his mouth, one that did not reach his eyes. “I’ll see you in a month,” he promised, giving her a nudge toward the ramp.
She hesitated only an instant, nodded and then turned, walking quickly away. She didn’t dare look back for fear she wouldn’t be able to leave him after all.
Once settled on the plane, Erin laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she cataloged her emotions—euphoria, excitement, sadness and fright. Shakily, she pushed her dark hair away from her face, trying desperately to think rationally and with logic. Ty Phillips was far too mesmerizing for her own good!
5
Erin was sifting through the information the air force had sent her on the Strategic Air Command. For the tenth time that morning she looked out across the New York skyline and imagined the autumn leaves, which must be turning beautiful colors by now up in Michigan. She sighed softly and ran slender fingers across the pamphlets and brochures. It had been almost three weeks since she’d left T
y Phillips at the Dayton Airport. Yet neither of them had wanted her to leave. She grimaced, resting her chin in her palm and staring dreamily out the window. The cirrus clouds floating in a blue sky looked like the mane of a horse flowing in the wind.
How many times had she wondered if Ty was flying his Buff over the Atlantic Seaboard? Each time she saw contrails high in the sky, she thought of him. Dejectedly, she forced herself back to work, back to sifting through the huge piles of literature she had amassed in an effort to find the facts to support the angle Bruce demanded she take in her article.
Since returning to New York, she had begun to take stock of her emotions. What did she want from life? Something was missing, something that clamored more strongly than ever to be heard and recognized. Ty Phillips had forced her to look inward and account for herself.
She had thought that, with time and distance, the memory of him would fade. But it was just as easy to conjure up his laughter or his mirthful expression today as it had been weeks before. She had replayed their conversations many times in her head, seeking to know more, to understand more clearly the enigmatic officer.
“Erin!” her secretary, Ruth Adams, called excitedly. She hurried into Erin’s office, her eyes glowing. “Look at this! It just arrived for you. Can you believe it?” Ruth moved aside, her hands clasped in delight as a florist entered the office and placed a huge bouquet of bird-of-paradise on the corner of Erin’s desk. Smiling, the young man pulled an envelope from his jacket.
“You’re Miss Erin Quinlan?”
She flushed, staring at the gorgeous tropical flowers. Their bright-orange-and-purple color made her think again of autumn leaves. “Yes, I am,” she murmured.
“Oh!” Ruth cried, standing over them. “Aren’t they beautiful! Do you realize how much these cost?”
Erin smiled, taking the envelope from the florist’s hand. He grinned bashfully, meeting her gaze. “I took the order,” he said, a note of pride in his voice.
On Wings of Passion Page 6
