by SJ West
“I don’t need to be forgiven,” Lucian replies testily.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” I say, unconvinced. “Lucifer used to say that, too, but look what happened to him.”
Lucian looks at Ivy meaningfully. Before I can react, Ivy throws a ball of energy, hitting me square in the stomach. As I’m propelled backwards a few feet, I lose my grip on Lucas’ hand and fall flat on my back. Ivy quickly runs over to me before I’m able to recover from the physical pain of her attack.
“Give me the seals!” she screams irately as she continues to pummel me with ball after ball of energy. The madness in her eyes tells me she’s gone past the point of simple madness. Starving from the lack of new souls has driven her insane from hunger.
I really don’t have time for this.
I lift my right hand and aim a charge of electricity right at her chest, preventing her from throwing any more of her energy balls at me. I let my charge build up in intensity before releasing it. The force of my power propels her little body off me, and her flight through the air doesn’t stop until her back hits the trunk of the oak tree.
I quickly sit up and look around for Lucas, but he’s already gone.
“Where has Lucian taken Lucas?” I demand as I regain my feet.
Ivy begins to laugh hysterically as she lies on the ground in a broken heap.
“Far, far away,” she says in a singsong voice.
“I need him back,” I say angrily.
“Then I guess you’ll have to go find him. I’m sure Lucian will be willing to trade you something for him. I just hope he doesn’t take his anger out on that little angel of yours.”
“Don’t call him that,” I snap. “He hates it.”
I try to phase, but Ivy is still preventing me. I hear her cackle again at my attempt.
“How am I supposed to go see what he wants when you’re keeping me here?” I fume.
“Well, I can’t let you go until I give Lucian enough time to find somewhere to hide. You should know that.”
I growl in frustration.
Ivy is silent for a few minutes, but then she asks, “What’s it like?”
I watch as she reassembles her body and stands up from where she fell. She walks back over to her swing and sits down, looking at me expectantly as she waits for my answer.
“What is what like?” I ask in aggravation.
“Loving someone,” she replies, looking truly curious. “I saw him in your mind, you know. Cade.”
“I don’t love Cade.”
“You don’t have to lie to me,” she says. “In fact, I’m probably the only person you can tell the truth to.”
Ivy looks at me with more understanding than I would expect.
“It’s confusing,” I finally admit. “And I don’t like being confused.”
“Me neither.” She tilts her head at me. “What are you going to do about him?”
I don’t answer because I don’t have one to give.
“You’ll figure it out,” Ivy tells me. “I can tell you what I would do, if you want to know.”
“I have no desire to take advice from a lunatic like you,” I say derisively.
Ivy shrugs her shoulders, unfazed. “Just trying to help out.”
“I don’t want your help except to get out of here!”
“Go.”
I phase back to the living room of Lucian’s apartment. I look in the kitchen but see no one there. I phase into the bedroom Lucas and I slept in and discover a sheet of paper laying on Lucas’ side of the bed. I grab it and quickly read Lucian’s demands for Lucas’ safe return. Apparently neither he nor Ivy actually knows where Lucifer is, but he tells me where to begin my search for him. After I find Lucifer, he and Anna are supposed to meet Lucian at his other apartment in town by noon today, but there isn’t an address for this mystery apartment.
Wonderful.
I read the letter once again to confirm where I’m supposed to start my search for Lucifer and ask myself, “How exactly am I supposed to get to Boldt Castle?”
Chapter 18
(Anna’s Point of View)
Xavier and I talk for hours. Jess does bring me the tea she and Ava made, but she doesn’t linger in the room with us. I think she understands his need to know all about my life with Malcolm and that he will be more comfortable if she isn’t there, listening to our conversation. Knowing that Jess trusts him enough to leave me in his care also helps me open up to him in a way I normally wouldn’t with a complete stranger. Although, I guess he isn’t exactly a stranger. There are small similarities that Xavier shares with my husband. The sound of his laughter and the way his eyes sparkle while he listens to me talk reminds me so much of Malcolm that I have to remind myself he isn’t my husband.
By the time I tell him everything he needs to know about my situation, it is well into the wee hours of the morning. He tucks me underneath the covers of his bed and tells me to get some rest. Before he leaves, he leans down, kisses me on the forehead, and wishes me sweet dreams, as if it is the most natural thing in the world for him to do. Only after Xavier leaves the room do I allow myself to cry. I cry over my worry for Lucas’ safety, and I cry because I desperately need my husband’s arms around me. I wish he had been the one to kiss me good night just now and reassure me that everything will turn out all right.
What is happening to Malcolm in Hell? Since Helena isn’t there anymore, is he able to leave? Even if his ability to phase out of Hell was restored after we left, I’m not sure he would go since my release is contingent on him winning Helena’s sadistic little game. I eventually fall asleep from exhaustion and don’t wake up until I hear a knock on the bedroom door the next morning.
“Anna, are you awake?” I hear Xavier ask from the other side of the door.
“I am now,” I grumble groggily as I push myself into a sitting position on the bed. I don’t want to make him feel bad for waking me up, so I say, “Yes, I’m awake. You can come in.”
Xavier opens the door and walks in with a wooden folding bed tray in his hands.
“I thought you might be hungry,” he tells me as he stands the tray over my lap.
There is a large plate filled to almost overflowing with scrambled eggs, sausage, buttered toast, and strawberries mixed with blueberries. A tall glass of cold milk stands in one corner of the tray while a small pink vase with a single, perfect yellow rose decorates the other.
“Jess said it might be too much food,” Xavier says, “but since you’re eating for three, I thought you might need it.”
I can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.
“It’s fine,” I tell him. “I do feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”
I pick up the fork that is laying on a perfectly folded white cloth napkin beside the plate and begin to eat.
Xavier sits down on the corner of the bed and asks, “Did you sleep well? I hope I didn’t wake you up, but I thought you would want some breakfast and to know that Lucifer is back.”
“Does he have Lucas?” I immediately ask but fear I already know the answer. If my son were here, he would be in my arms right now.
“No,” he reluctantly replies, confirming what I already suspected. “He hasn’t been able to locate him or Helena yet. I think I might try something to find them, though.”
“What are you thinking?” I ask, forcing myself to start eating the eggs on the plate, even though Xavier’s news has made me lose my appetite.
“I’m going to see if the Lucifer in this world has them.”
I swallow what’s in my mouth before I ask, “Even if he does, do you think he’ll tell you something like that?”
“I don’t know. As you might have already guessed, we’re not exactly on friendly terms with one another, but he might let something slip inadvertently. Lucifer seems to think that our version of Hell may have felt Helena enter this reality. If that’s the case, Lucian has probably tracked Helena down by now, and if Lucas is with her, well, then he knows about both of them
.”
“He’ll be able to tell that Lucas is Gabe reincarnated, won’t he?” I ask, fearful for my son’s safety. “Lucifer was able to see it right away.”
“If he could sense it, I’m sure Lucian can, too.”
“Why do you call your Lucifer ‘Lucian’?”
“He’s used the name Lucian for a long time on this Earth. At the moment, his name is Lucian Forester. I know he’s living in New York City right now because he’s starring in a popular Broadway play there.”
“He’s an actor?” I ask, finding it hard to believe the devil is actually working for a living.
“Yes. He’s always liked being the center of attention. Personally, I think he just craves hearing people scream his name. Ever since we started setting our world right, he lost a lot of the power he accumulated during the Apocalypse.”
“Why?”
“Fewer souls are being sent to Hell nowadays. Without an influx of energy, neither he nor Hell has much power anymore. He’s basically been neutered. Every time Ava and I see him, all we can do is laugh at how pitiful he’s become. This acting hobby of his just seems to be a desperate ploy to regain some of his former glory. All he’s really doing is feeding his ego so he doesn’t feel so powerless.”
“I meant to ask you last night where the other Watchers of this world are. You’ve only mentioned you and Ava.”
“We’re the last two left.”
“Why only the two of you?” I ask, finding it odd. “Where are the others?”
“After we set the world back on track, a lot of them asked our Father to make them human and allow them to live out normal lives. Brand was the first one to do it. He wanted to marry the Empress of China, Jai Lin. They ended up having a happy life together and had three little girls. He and Jai Lin led the people of the world to unite and work hard to make it a better place than it was before the Apocalypse.”
“Why have you and Ava stayed behind?”
Xavier grins sheepishly and looks down at his hands resting on his lap. I get the distinct impression he doesn’t want to admit his motivation to me.
“I’ll tell you my reason for staying, but I would rather you didn’t say anything to anyone else. Only Ava knows why I haven’t asked to become human yet, and as far as her reason for staying goes, I think she just doesn’t want to leave me here all alone.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” I promise, setting my fork down to give Xavier my full attention.
“I’ve been hoping to find someone I can build a life with before I leave this world. I just haven’t found her yet. I may never find her.”
“If that’s what you really want, you shouldn’t give up on it,” I tell him in earnest. “Malcolm had to wait a very long time for me. Maybe the woman you’re waiting for will show up soon, too.”
“I hope you’re right. To be honest, ever since you arrived, I can’t shake the feeling that maybe this deep set desire I’ve had to find a love of my own is something my father instilled in me to make sure I remained here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I need to show you something,” Xavier says as he stands up. “I’ll be right back.”
He phases but returns less than a minute later with a sword that looks exactly like mine. In actuality, my sword originally belonged to Jess. I did notice that she was wearing my baldric with the sword safely housed in its sheath on her back, but I didn’t say anything to her about it. After all, both items were originally hers. I simply inherited them from a long line of descendants. Plus, she needed a weapon in Hell to protect herself with.
“Is that the sword Jess pulled out of the Tree of Knowledge from this reality’s Garden of Eden?” I ask, remembering the story Malcolm told me. I knew Jess used this sword when the original one found its way into the hands of Ravan Drake. Thankfully, Jess was able to retrieve her sword from that madwoman, and she gave Xavier the sword he’s holding now for safekeeping.
“Yes. This is Jophiel’s sword. I think I’m meant to give it to you.” He reverently lays the relic down beside me on the bed.
As I run my hand over its hilt, I feel the cold metal grow warm against my skin as if it’s welcoming me as its new owner.
“I think you’re right,” I reply, feeling a strange, cosmic connection to the weapon. “I think I’m meant to take it back home with me.”
“Do you know why?” Xavier questions me.
“Not exactly, but I might have an idea,” I admit as my mind races with the possibilities.
I hear him sigh in relief. “Good. Maybe this means my journey is almost complete.”
“And maybe,” I say with an encouraging smile, “this means you’ll find true love soon.”
“I guess she won’t be my soul mate, though,” Xavier says disappointedly. “I’m still not sure why the Origin has them and we don’t.”
“I think I can answer that question for you.”
Xavier and I both look toward the open doorway and see Lucifer standing there now.
“You think you can guess the reason why?” I ask as he walks in to stand near the foot of the bed.
“I don’t have to guess,” he tells me. “I know the reason. I didn’t know it when I first came here, but now I understand why no one has ever felt that sort of connection to someone else in this world.” Lucifer looks at me meaningfully. “It’s because the Lucifer of this reality killed Seraphina before she was able to ask the Guardians of the Guf to remake her soul into a human one. When you did that in our reality, it produced soul mates, but since she never got the chance to do it here, they weren’t created.”
“I never knew your counterpart in this world killed his Seraphina,” I say, wondering why my husband neglected to tell me that part of the story.
“I’m sure Malcolm didn’t say anything to you about it because he didn’t want to upset you,” Lucifer says, as if he just read my mind.
It’s upsetting to learn of Seraphina’s fate in this world, but it also goes to show just how different my father is from his doppelgänger.
“Have you told Lucifer about your plan?” I ask Xavier.
“No. I thought I would tell you first.”
“What plan?” my father asks.
“I want to see if Lucian knows where Lucas and Helena are. He has two apartments in New York City. I figured I would start there.”
“Then I’m coming with you,” Lucifer declares.
“I want to go, too,” I say.
“No,” the men say in unison and rather forcefully.
“Well, that didn’t make me feel very loved,” I tell them, a bit miffed at their automatic refusal of my help.
“If we’re lucky, Lucian doesn’t know about you yet,” Lucifer explains. “I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. It’s for your own safety, Anna.”
“And I simply don’t want you anywhere near that lunatic,” Xavier says, justifying his response. “Lucifer’s right. We have no idea what Lucian might try to do to you once he learns who you really are. He killed his own daughter without feeling any remorse afterwards. He wouldn’t have any qualms about killing you, too. In fact, he would probably do it just to watch your father suffer.”
“But why?” I ask. “What would that gain him?”
“Revenge,” Lucifer answers without hesitation. “If Helena is with him, I’m sure she’s told him that I’ve been granted forgiveness by our father. If he isn’t already insane, that knowledge will certainly drive him over the edge. Please don’t argue with us about this, Anna. I need for you to stay here where it’s safe.”
“Even if he does try to kill me, you know I can kill him first,” I counter.
“Yes,” my father says. “I’m fully aware of how powerful you are. Look. I have no love for Lucian, but I would rather not kill him if we don’t have to.”
“Why not?” Xavier asks, obviously not having a problem with my countermeasure. “I certainly wouldn’t miss him.”
“I don’t want to doom him to an eternity in
the Void,” Lucifer responds, looking disappointed in Xavier for not showing an ounce of compassion for Lucian. “I may not like him, but deep down inside, I know he still harbors a desire to return to Heaven and be with our father.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ask doubtfully. “To me, it sounds like killing Seraphina placed him on an entirely different path from yours. I’m not sure how you can defend him after everything he’s done.”
“I’m not defending what he did to her or for him starting the Apocalypse here, but I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. People can change, Anna. I think I’m proof of that.”
He is right. I can’t argue against what he is saying, and a part of me feels guilty for trying to justify killing Lucian.
“If he does have Lucas and won’t give him back to us,” I say, “I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to rescue my son.”
“And I won’t stop you,” Lucifer promises. “All I ask is that you use restraint where your powers are concerned.”
I nod my agreement and pray Lucian doesn’t harm Lucas so I’m not forced to take his life. It seems important to Lucifer for his counterpart here to have a chance at redemption. Personally, I believe Lucian is a lost cause, and I think somewhere deep down inside Lucifer knows that, too. I can understand his need to give his alternate self a chance to change the course of his life, but I’m afraid Lucian killed his only chance to do that when he murdered Seraphina.
Lucifer turns to Xavier. “Where should we start looking for him?”
“I think we should go to one of his apartments in New York first. If he isn’t at either one of those, we can try the theater on Broadway. He might be there, rehearsing for his play.”
“Let’s say you find him and you don’t see Helena or Lucas with him. How are you going to make him tell you whether or not he has them?” I ask.
“We could always try to beat the information out of him,” Xavier says rather enthusiastically. “I still have the talisman JoJo made to protect against an archangel’s power. He won’t be able to kill me.”
