“Harlow, Clarissa has a boyfriend now. When we slept together it was a mutual agreement. Neither of us wanted a relationship, but when she met her bloke Chad, we broke things off. Now, tell me again what is going on. I know Clarissa hasn’t said anything because she isn’t that sort of girl.’’
“Hannah tripped me up,’’ I blurt out, just wanting to know the truth. Something doesn’t add up. How the hell did she know about my parents? When I hear him growl I turn my head to look at him; his hands are clenched into fists on the bed sheet. Not giving him a chance to speak I carry on. “She said you were meeting with Clarissa. That Clarissa said you were babysitting me because of my parents. She knew about them Malik. How did she know about my parent’s Malik?’’ I cry.
“Hey, babe, it’s okay. I swear to you, I’d never do anything like that to you. As for babysitting you Harlow, you’re more mature than me. Why would you even believe that? Also, you should know I’m yours and you are mine by now.’’
“But how did she know about them? I’ve never told anyone, but obviously you guys know.’’
“To be honest I really don’t know. Her Nan goes to bingo with your Nan, so she could have found out about your parents that way, but I swear on my life Harlow, I have never said anything. Not even to Clarissa. We haven’t spoken to each other in months. Her boyfriend said she works a lot, and is busy with college.’’
“You talk to her boyfriend?’’ I ask confused.
“Babe,’’ he grins at me, his white teeth shining from the moonlight. “I’m the one that introduced them.’’
My body slumps with relief and I kind of feel like a fool running away like that now. I bet it’s what they wanted me to do, so they got him to themselves.
“I’m so sorry. I feel so stupid.’’
“Is that why you ran off?’’
“Yeah, I didn’t care that she tripped me over, it was about thinking you’d talked about me, that you thought I was a burden. It also hurt thinking you meant more to me than I meant to you.’’
“I wondered why your clothes in the bathroom were filthy,’’ he chuckles. “And as for you not meaning anything to me we both know that’s a lie. You mean more to me than you’ll ever know. Outside my family you’re the only person I’ve ever gotten close to. You mean something to me Harlow.’’
“Good, because you mean something to me too, Malik.’’
“Good, because I like being with you. I’ve never been in a relationship, I told you that, but I said I’d try and I will.’’
Not knowing what else to say I lean over giving him a kiss. I’d meant it to be just a quick kiss, but when I feel his tongue against my lips demanding access, I moan into his mouth. I shove my hands through his short dark hair loving the feel of it running through my fingers. I return the kiss wholeheartedly, loving the taste of him.
His hands roam my body leaving shivers in their wake. The whole sensation is making my mind fuzzy, but in a good way.
A very good way.
I love how he can make me forget all my troubles with just a touch and make me lose all my senses with just a kiss. My deep moan pushes Malik back, breaking the kiss. Both of us are breathing heavily as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“Don’t run from me again,’’ he whispers the demand, his face a breath away from mine.
“Never,’’ I promise.
“Come here,’’ he says pulling me closer to him so that my head rests against his chest above his heart. I can hear his heart beating hard against his chest, and the sound has me relaxing against him, listening to the sound. Knowing that I affect him just as much as he affects me has me wanting to dance for joy.
“Tell me something about yourself?’’ I whisper after a moment’s silence.
“What do you want to know?’’
“I don’t know. Um… tell me about your parents.’’
The moment the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Malik’s whole body tenses underneath me, making me feel like a total bitch. He’s hasn’t told me much, but from what I’ve guessed it’s nothing good. Why that came from my mouth I have no idea. I’ve known for a while the subject of his parents was a sore spot for Malik. I feel like a right bitch asking about them, but I’m curious. He knows everything there is to know about me. I think.
I’m shocked when I hear him take a deep breath, preparing himself, before he starts talking.
“Well my mom left when we were young, I don’t think the twins really remember her. From what I remember about her she wasn’t that good of a mom. She would never tuck us in bed, read us a story, bathe us, or feed us. Maverick told us once she wasn’t always like that and there was a time she did all those things, but I honestly don’t remember. My dad was a prick to her, beat her down to the point she left I guess.’’
“So you don’t know where she is? You’ve never looked for her?’’ I ask, feeling bad that they never had what I had with my mother. Sometimes when I go to sleep I swear I can smell her. She’d always come into my room when she thought I was asleep to give me a goodnight kiss. When I got old enough to refuse my parents to put me to bed, I must have been around twelve. It never stopped my mother from sneaking in my room to give me a goodnight kiss though. My dad even snuck in a few times, but never every night like my mom. Not once did I ever let on I knew about it because secretly, I loved having them kiss me goodnight. It made me feel loved more and I loved them more for it.
“No, we don’t. Maverick tried to look for her once after dad died, but we could never find her. Granddad thinks she died of an overdose. She got into drugs before she left according to Maverick. He never liked talking about her that much.’’
“What would you do if she ever came back?’’
“Nothing. I don’t want anything to do with her. She abandoned us, left us with that monster,’’ he tells me heatedly, his whole body tense from mentioning his dad.
“What happened with your father?’’ I breathe out, already knowing I don’t want to know the answer. “That’s if you want to talk about it.’’
“I hate talking about him Harlow. Don’t take it to heart. He wasn’t nice. For some reason he loved taking his anger out on me or Mav. But then when Mav started to grow up he got stronger and started hitting my dad back which he didn’t like. There were times when Mav would stand up for me too, but most of the time we avoided going back to the house until late so our dad wouldn’t have a chance at touching any of us. He still did it though, for some reason he always found a way to get me alone. The beatings got bad towards the end, before he died. At that point he got good at hiding the beatings from other people but mostly Mav.
When Maverick had moved out to live with a friend thinking the beatings had stopped it got really bad. He didn’t know anything about them otherwise he wouldn’t have left or would have come back. He never knew how my dad’s friends would all join in, or how they kept me there, they did some pretty twisted shit that I don’t want you having in your pretty little head, so please don’t make me talk about it. I’ve already told you more than I’ve told anyone, including my brothers,’’ he pleads, his voice full of anguish and hurt.
“I won’t, I promise, but you need to know I’m here for you always. Don’t think something is too much for me to bear, let me decide that okay? Just promise me that when you’re ready you’ll talk to me. I don’t want you to have to carry this burden alone when you have someone you can talk to. I’m not going to judge, I promise,’’ I tell him softly, a slight crack in my voice.
The pain he must have gone through living with a monster like that for a dad hurts my heart. Any child that has to face abuse from their parents hurts me. It’s sickening to think how someone that is meant to be your protector, your guide, your hero, can hurt you so badly. My eyes start watering thinking about it. I’m blessed having the parents I have – had - even if it was short lived.
“I know babe, it’s just too hard for me.’’
“What was it like moving in with your granddad?�
��’ hoping I’m not being too nosey.
He laughs startling me, so I turn to look up at him to see a wide smile across his face, “It was great. We had gotten to see him when we lived with our parents, but then it all stopped. Out of all my childhood memories he’s the only person I really remember. We would all look forward to him coming over to see us. When we found out we were moving in with him, we were all relieved. All of us wished we could have moved in with him for as long as I remember. He’s strict at times, but we loved it. We all loved that he cared enough about us to discipline us the way he did.
“I remember the first time I stayed out all night. I got in around seven in the morning and I walked in to find him sitting on the sofa. He burst into tears hugging me before he started raising his voice. I’d be so shocked, so overwhelmed by him caring where I was, I enjoyed being grounded for the two weeks. I even told him that or thanked him over it.’’
“You’re the first person I know who wants to be disciplined,’’ I chuckle, but I understand what he’s saying. His parents never cared what they did, whether they were out all night doing drugs, so having someone actually care for their wellbeing felt good to them. I know most kids don’t want their parent’s butting into their lives, but when you have parents that don’t you will wish they paid attention, even to the little things.
My parents were like their granddad Mark, they would constantly want to know where I am, how I’m doing in school and turn up to every parent’s evening, school play, or what have you. They were the best parents I could ever wish for.
“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t change it for the world,’’ he chuckles.
“What side is your granddad from? Mom or dad?’’
“Our moms, she never lived with him though. My Nan had taken my mom away as a baby, not telling my granddad where to when they broke up. He only met her for the first time the day she turned sixteen. He told us the day he met her he didn’t know what to feel. He’d always loved her, but when she turned up he knew my Nan had ruined her life by keeping her out of his life. She’d been a mess. She was into drugs, staying out and pretty much only showed up for money. He tried everything to have a relationship with her, giving her the money, but then she got pregnant and moved in with my dad. He said things changed for a while. She doted on us kids and changed everything he ever knew about her. Then she changed. He never agreed with the way they raised us and even said he tried to get custody of us once, but the courts denied him. That’s when he lost access to us. My mom refused to let him near us and got a restraining order. It was hard not having him there. Especially after mom had left us and the beatings started.’’
“Oh my God, poor Mark. I can’t imagine what it was like for him not seeing you guys. I’m glad he has you lot now. I bet he loved it didn’t he?’’
“Yeah, he’d make us do so much shit the first few months of moving in. It’s actually how our camping trips every term break started. He wanted us to have the life we never had, but sometimes I think he wanted to catch up on the years of being a dad that he missed. He’s an amazing person. In fact, the only time he has never come on a camping trip was this last break. He didn’t get mobile phone signal, then week or two into the trip he got a voicemail from your Nan telling her that you were on the way and she was nervous as hell. He came back to support her. Turns out he didn’t need to.’’
“He is so lovely. My Gram’s is pretty smitten with him,’’ I giggle remembering their flirting.
“Please don’t remind me. Sometimes I wish they’d just get it on, but then I remember who I’m talking about and feel sick,’’ he says dryly.
“Why aren’t they together? They do pretty much everything together and to be honest, there isn’t a time I’ve noticed them not staring at one another or not flirting.’’
“It’s been like this since we moved here. Sometimes I think we act more mature than those pair. Did you hear what they did to Max once?’’ he chuckles.
“No, what did they do?’’ I ask grinning, knowing how they love playing pranks on people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s them pinching old Edna’s gnomes.
“He’d brought a chick home after granddad had told him not to anymore. So after she left my granddad asked if he’d used protection with her. Max being Max, and not being embarrassed told them yeah. That’s when your Gram’s walked in and said to Max I hope you kept that girls number. Oh my God, you should have seen his face,’’ Malik laughs. “He said no, because he wasn’t planning on calling her again, looking at your Gram’s all confused and shit. That’s when she screamed at him to go after her, that she’d be carrying his child in a few weeks. It was so funny. She looked like she was going to run after the girl herself.
“Max went pale as a ghost and said he used protection,’’ Malik’s full on laughing now, and I can’t help but laugh with him, it’s infectious. “Your Gram’s only admitted to poking holes in the condoms. He ran upstairs to find out it was true. When he was gone I saw Granddad wink at Gram’s and I knew that’s what she had been doing before coming downstairs. I heard the commotion between Max and Granddad and on my way to listen in your Nan had been running up the stairs with a grin on her face. Fuck it was so funny.’’
“Oh My God, when was this?’’ I laugh loudly, wondering if my Gram’s is really a teenager and not an old lady.
“Last year. They wanted to teach him a lesson, it worked for about a couple of months then he went back to sleeping around with a bunch of girls. I swear though, those two together are lethal. All our mates love them, but they make sure to stay on their good side,’’ he chuckles.
“That they are,’’ I giggle, my hand splayed across his stomach. “Oh shit. Where’s Denny? I can’t believe I forgot about her,’’ I say jumping up.
“Calm down, she’s staying over at mine. I called her when I found you asleep and told her to take my bed.’’
“Ahh, so she sleeps in your bed before me?’’ I tease, but secretly kind of jealous.
“Not really. You’ve slept in there once remember?’’ he smirks.
“That doesn’t count,’’ I grin, leaning over him to give him another kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry about running off tonight. I kind of feel stupid about it.’’
“Don’t,’’ he shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I’m actually kind of glad you did. I’d rather spend the night cuddled up to your warm body then spend the night at a party listening to girls scream, and the lads start fights thinking they can take on The Hulk after a sip of beer.’’
Laughing, I curl myself into his chest, loving his arms wrapped around me. I feel safe here, and loved.
My eyes start dropping after a minute of silence, but I don’t want to miss anything with Malik. I’m afraid I’ll wake up and all this will be a dream.
“Stop thinking babe,’’ he tells me, amusement laced in his voice. “Go to sleep.’’
I’m just about to say okay, when I yawn loudly, making an awful sound. My face turns beet red when I hear Malik laugh.
“You’re too cute sometimes,’’ he chuckles, his arms tightening around me.
“Goodnight Malik,’’ I say sleepily kissing his chest.
“Night babe,’’ he says, kissing the top of my head.
Chapter Eleven
Waking up the next morning, I feel disappointed to find the bed next to me empty. Maybe it had all just been a dream.
Sliding my legs off the bed, a note on the bedside table next to my flashing phone grabs my attention.
Gone for a run is all the note says making me grin. He has such a way with words, I laugh to myself. I’m just about to go empty my bladder when Denny charges into my room. She looks a mess wearing the same clothes she wore last night to the field. It’s her pain stricken, tear stained face though that has me worried and instantly by her side. Her cheeks have mascara lines running down them, and her eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep.
“I just made a huge mistake,’’ she cries and I stand closer ready to catch her.
She holds onto me tightly as I give her a hug, waiting for her to get herself together before I ask what’s wrong. Her sobs wrack through the walls of my bedroom and I pray Malik doesn’t show up interrupting us. Something tells me she won’t tell me if we’re interrupted.
“What’s happened? Are you okay?’’ I ask softly.
“No. I’ve made a mistake that I can’t take back,’’ she sobs, moving out of my arms to sit down on the bed. I sit down next to her, watching as she fiddles with her fingers that are clasped together in her lap. She’s nervous that much is true, but there’s something else, fear maybe? I don’t know. Whatever it is, it has me worrying more.
“You’re scaring me, Denny, what’s wrong?’’ I ask, putting my arm around her shoulder. She leans her head onto my shoulder which makes me relax knowing she isn’t pulling away from me.
“I slept with him,’’ she whispers so quietly I have to ask her what she said again to be sure. “I said I slept with him.’’
“With who?’’ I ask feeling my palms sweat.
“Mason.’’
“As in, you slept in the same bed?’’ I ask not wanting to believe what she’s telling me.
“No, as in I gave him my virginity,’’ she snaps on a cry. I know her anger isn’t aimed at me, so I let her say what she needs to. I’m surprised to find she’s a virgin. Well was a virgin. That’s really blown me away. I always thought she had experience in that department with the way she talks about boys and what she’d love to do to them. In graphic detail I’d like to add.
“I thought that’s what you wanted?’’ I ask treading carefully.
“It was. Then he ruined it this morning when he found out I’d been a virgin.’’
“Didn’t he know when you were, you know, doing it?’’ I ask, feeling my cheeks redden.
“Last night things got too intense between us and I never got around to telling him. I was scared he’d treat me different, ya know?’’ I nod my head even though I have no idea what she is talking about, but I want her to talk, so I agree. “So I never said anything. It was perfect Harlow, it was everything I imagined and more,’’ she says as tears fall from her eyes.
Malik (Carter Brother Series Book 1) Page 16
