Noticing the time, I gasp, and then take a huge gulp of my tea before tipping the rest into the sink. Kissing my Gram’s, I grab my school bag I left by her feet.
“Sorry Gram’s, I need to go, Malik will be outside waiting. I didn’t realise the time,’’ I blush, hating that I’m running late. I woke up at four, went for a quick run around the block, then came home to start getting ready. Although, everywhere I look, thoughts of Malik kept distracting me.
“Have a good day dear. Don’t forget you need to ask your art teacher what the dress code is for that gallery.’’
“I won’t, I promise.’’
With that I give her a kiss on the forehead and make my way outside. Malik is standing outside, leaning against the wall at the end of the path with a sexy smirk on his face. Jesus he looks hot in his uniform.
Speaking of which, Gram’s wasn’t very happy about what happened after P.E. yesterday and will be going in later today to talk to the head teacher. Luckily for me my Gram’s went over the top with my school uniform so I had plenty to spare. The only thing I don’t have is another blazer. They’re expensive to buy and since I’m not there much longer she’s refused to buy me a new one, telling the school that I’ll have to wear my black cardigan.
“Morning beautiful,’’ Malik purrs, his voice deep and husky. I love how he sounds when he just wakes up, and knowing him he probably woke up five minutes before meeting me. Lads are lucky like that I guess. They can roll out of bed, grab fresh clothes and be on their way. Whereas a girl has to shower, do their hair and everything else that they do to get ready.
“Morning,’’ I grin. “You’re looking hot today,’’ I flirt, pressing my body against his. He widens his stance and brings me to stand between his legs. Leaning in he gives me a gentle kiss at the edge of my mouth, kissing a path over to the other side, before he finally brings his lips to mine, his tongue flicking my bottom lip demanding entrance. Moaning, I open my mouth for him, tasting peppermint on his tongue.
The kiss turns heated as usual, Malik’s hands touching anywhere and everywhere they can reach as I cling to him, my arms wrapped around his neck, tugging the ends of his hair.
Once we pull away from each other, our bodies are both on fire; heavy pants lingering in the air between us. Our chemistry is off the charts and the sexual tension between us grows stronger every time we see each other.
“Come on, we’re going to be late,’’ his voice huskier than before.
I nod my head in agreement, shocked when he takes my hand in his as we make our way to school.
Walking through the school gates, we’re surprised to find most students out on the playground talking and laughing. The bell should have gone five minutes ago.
I look to Malik worried, wondering if something has happened, but I don’t see them only letting a few kids outside and not the rest.
“What the hell is going on?’’ Malik says voicing my silent question.
I’m about to speak, to say I don’t know when someone lifts their head noticing us. First their expression is of confusion before it turns it to laughter, throwing rude comments at us.
It’s not long before everyone catches on, pointing at us and laughing, lads throwing crude invites at me. Not sure what’s going on I grip Malik’s hand tighter. I’ve had to stop him a few times from punching someone and getting into a fight.
As soon as we enter the school building I know exactly why they’re all laughing and pointing. I even understand why all the lads were making comments like they were.
Ripping one of the posters down off the wall my eyes fill with tears, and a loud sob tears from my mouth echoing down the halls. Nothing could have prepared me for this; no way did I ever think someone could be so cruel to do something like this.
My eyes scan the picture of me in the shower yesterday after the gym. The picture is of me naked for everyone to see and clearly they chose the right moment to capture me so vulnerable. I’m just washing under my armpits and running my head under water. The picture makes it look like I’m touching myself and enjoying it. Everyone has seen this, they’ve looked at this, at me, naked. Oh God, even the teachers would have seen these pictures! My eyes are filled with tears blurring my vision when Max runs over to us holding a bunch of posters in his hands.
Oh my God! They must be everywhere.
“Fuck man, I’ve been trying to call you for the past half an hour. These are everywhere. Myles, Denny and a few other people are helping us take them all down. The teachers have tried to get as many students out of the halls,’’ Max shrugs, his face red with anger.
“Who the fuck did this?’’ Malik growls, his whole body tense and rigid and his voice full of venom.
I step out from Malik’s embrace, overwhelmed that this is really happening, that I’m not still asleep at home in bed.
“We don’t know man. We have a few guesses,’’ he says, looking at me before giving Malik a look. Not able to figure out what he was trying to say to Malik by that facial expression, I block them out and look back down at the poster in my hands, once again feeling my world crumble before me.
Not able to withstand the humiliation any longer, I run down the school hall, away from Malik and Max clutching the paper in my hand.
The sobs keep on coming harder when I slam through the exit door, hearing all the students laughing at me, shouting cruel things. I can hear Malik calling for me behind me, and shouting to people to shut the fuck up.
I’m near the gates when I hear a comment coming from another lad, “Malik, can I have a go on her after you’re done, it looks like you’re not doing it for her,’’ the lad laughs.
Then all I hear is screaming and shouting and I know Malik finally snapped, but I don’t bother stopping. I carry on running like my life depends on it, wanting to get as far away from here as possible. Soon this will be all over town, people judging me, talking about me. I’ll be surprised to find out it’s not already posted on Facebook and other social networking sites.
The thought has me stopping, leaning against a tree and emptying my stomach. I puke even when there’s nothing left inside of me, feeling more depressed than ever before.
I want my mom and dad, with that thought I wipe my mouth off with my sleeve and carry on running back to Gram’s. She’ll understand once she finds out what they’ve done. How they destroyed me, and embarrassed me beyond repair.
The tears keep coming, my cheeks raw from the cool wind hitting them.
I don’t bother knocking on the door to Gram’s; instead, I run in, slam the door behind me and rush upstairs to my room where I grab my case from under my bed. I may not have come with much, but looking around the bedroom, it feels like my whole life is here.
It’s just another place for heartache now Harlow.
I scream in frustration when the zipper won’t budge, I start losing my temper. I scream out angry at everything, at everyone, at the sick person who did this to me. Picking up the closest item to me I slam it across the room, the picture frame smashes into tiny pieces and the glass shatters everywhere. I don’t stop there though, I grab the next thing to me, smashing that and before I know it I’ve run out of things to smash, so I start trashing everything I can get my hands on. My bed sheets are ripped off, my curtains are ripped down from the wall and my dresser is thrown forward. All the while I’m screaming, screaming for what I don’t know, it just feels good to get it out.
My Gram’s soft voice cuts through my rage and despair, slamming into me like a punch to the gut and I collapse onto the floor, not caring about the glass cutting into my knees or the fact that I’ve destroyed my room. I sob into my hands, my heart completely destroyed.
It hurts more when I feel my Grandma’s cold hands come around me, soothing me. I cling to her, grabbing a hold of her like my life depended on it, and sob into her chest feeling devastated and broken.
Because that’s what I am now…
Broken!
Destroyed!
Ruined!
My life here will never be the same. People will never look at me the same way and Gram’s, Gram’s will never hear the last of this from the people in her church.
My chest hurts so bad, my throat feels raw and my eyes sting from all the tears. My eyes feel heavy and soon I feel myself drift off to sleep.
“Fuck! Sorry Joan. Is she okay?’’ I hear Malik ask Gram’s as I start to wake up.
At first I’m unsure why he’s asking and why I’m on the floor with my head lain on my Gram’s lap, but then it all comes back to me, the laughter, the picture, my bedroom, but worst of all, the pain. It hits me like a ton of bricks, weighing me down.
“She’s been asleep for about an hour,’’ Gram’s whispers quietly. “I didn’t want to move her. After I got off the phone with you I came home to wait for her, but she was already up here trashing her room. Screaming for her mom and dad, and to whoever did this to her. Oh Malik what happened? Why would someone do this to her?’’
Gram’s voice is filled with sadness and I know she’s slightly crying stroking her fingers through my hair. My eyes fill with more tears, but I keep them tightly closed, not wanting to shed anymore.
“We don’t know. I’m sorry it took me so long, the school was ready to call the police until Max stopped me.’’
“Stopped you?’’
“I kind of went mad getting in everyone’s faces, demanding they tell me who did it. I kind of lost it on a few people and may or may not have smashed a few things. Mr Haynes is lucky he’s a teacher because I was ready to fucking kill him. Plus, I couldn’t leave until I made sure that every picture of her had been taken down.’’
The anger in his voice tells me I made the right choice by leaving the school. Hearing Mr. Haynes’s name sends chills down my spine. Just yesterday I remember thinking of how bad of a teacher he is. It’s like the guy has it out for me or something.
“Oh Malik, if you didn’t I would have,’’ she spits out angry. “I couldn’t leave her or move her. I’m also certain she’s lying on glass, but I was too afraid if I woke her up that she would have a breakdown again. I guess I wanted her to have some peace.’’
“Why has she got her suitcase out?’’ he asks suddenly.
“My guess is that she was leaving,’’ she chokes out. “Wouldn’t you if someone did something as inhumane as to shred any dignity you had? Airing your most personal moment for the world to see?’’
“She belongs here,’’ his voice choked. “Let me just make her bed then I’ll lift her up off the floor.’’
I listen to the sounds of Malik cleaning up my destruction, the sounds breaking my heart just a little bit more. He knows I lost it, that I’m weak.
My throat hurts trying to hold back sobs and my head aches from closing my eyes too tight. It’s all I can do to try to stop the tears from falling. I’m afraid to lose it in front of Malik. He doesn’t need to see me like this.
Soon his strong arms lift me up cradling me into his chest. I want to weep into his neck, tell him how broken I feel, how I just want to get out of this God awful town. I don’t though; instead I suffer through the agony of despair, wondering when all the suffering will end in my life.
After my parents died, I told myself nothing else could break me, and that nothing that happened in my life could hurt worse than losing them. I was wrong, it hurts so fucking bad. It may not be the same kind of hurt, but it’s killing me inside all the same.
“Shall we wake her up?’’ Malik asks Gram’s softly as he places me down.
“Let her rest. I just want to check her leg,’’ she says and that’s when I feel the sting to my left leg, close to my knee.
“Shit, she must have gotten glass in it. Do you have a first aid kit or do you want me to run next door to get ours?’’
“We don’t have one,’’ she mutters, her hand stroking down my hair.
Hearing Malik’s footsteps running down the stairs has me relaxing a little. I’m too scared of what he will see when I open my eyes.
Opening them, I have to blink from the sharp light gleaming through the window. I should have avoided destroying the curtains.
“Hey girly, you gave me such a fright,’’ my Gram’s says softly when I fully open my eyes.
Her eyes are filled with tears and before I can stop it, the tears flow freely down my face.
“I’m so sorry Grandma,’’ I choke out. “It hurts, it hurts so badly.’’
“I know baby. I know. We will get to the bottom of this and find out who did it. I promise you.’’
“It doesn’t matter Gram’s, it’s out there. Everyone has already seen it. I was naked, I was in the shower and everyone saw that,’’ I sob.
Through my sobs I don’t hear Malik enter. I had hoped to tell Gram’s that I wanted space that I wanted to be alone, but I guess he ran quicker than anticipated.
“Oh girl, I know. I don’t know what you must be going through, but I can take a good guess. You will get through this. You’re a strong, beautiful, independent woman. If anyone can move on from this, it’s you,’’ she says, and I wish I had the same faith she had in me, but right now I don’t see how I could ever get over this.
“Hey Babe,’’ Malik says softly as he walks over to the bed.
“Hey,’’ I reply quietly not able to look him in the eye.
“I need to clean up your leg, is that okay?’’ his voice nervous and unsure and so unlike Malik.
I nod my head not able to talk as another lump forms in my throat from trying to hold in the floods of tears threatening to spill. Slowly, he peels the tights down from my legs and despite everything that is going on, my body still responds to his touch.
“You don’t need any stitches,’’ he tells me, his voice strained. “This will sting a little.’’
The pain doesn’t register though; the pain inside my heart hurts too much to let anything else get to me.
“Talk to me Harlow. You’re killing me.’’ His voice is desperate, sounding almost broken and it has me choking up again
“I can’t,’’ I sob out, scared, and hoping he understands.
Gram’s moves closer to me, her hand stroking through my hair, “Shush my dear, it will be okay.’’
It’s never going to be okay, I think to myself. Nothing will ever be okay staying here. I cry into her lap, needing her comfort, her strength and support.
“I just want my mom and dad. I wish they were here, they would know what to do. I really need my mom right now. I miss them so much,’’ I sob, the pain in my chest becoming unbearable.
“Babe, I know you miss your parents, but they’re gone. You’ve got us here now. We will sort this out. I know we can’t change what’s already happened, but at least we can get justice for what happened. Myles is at home now checking to see if there are any photos online, and then he’s going to remove them.’’
“So you don’t know if they’re online?’’ I ask into my Gram’s legs, not wanting to move or look at him.
“Can you please look at me, babe?’’
“No, I can’t.’’
“Why?’’
“I don’t want you to be ashamed of me. They’ve all seen me naked Malik. How can you even look at me right now?’’ I cry out.
“Because you’re my girlfriend and I lo-.’’
“What?’’ I say sitting up, looking at him for the first time. His hair looks messed up and he has a cut lip and a light bruise at the bottom of his right eye. “Oh my… what the hell happened?’’
“It doesn’t matter.’’
The way he shrugs it off makes me believe it does matter. That whomever he had a fight with deserved it. I’m not even going to ask what the person did for him to get into a fight.
“Stop avoiding me, what were you going to say?’’
Gram’s gets up from the bed grabbing my attention. My face must look scared or something because she reaches out to stroke my cheek.
“I’m just going to get a dustpan and brush. I’ll gi
ve you five minutes to talk then I’ll be back.’’
“Thank you,’’ I tell her, my eyes watering again.
She gives me a gentle smile before patting Malik gently on the shoulder. What he did for me today, fighting for me, obviously means a lot to her. He could get into serious trouble for fighting today, but he didn’t care about the ramifications anyway.
“Well?’’
“Look, I’m not going to say it to you right now, it’s not the time. I don’t want you to think I’m saying it because you think I’m just trying to cheer you up. But Harlow, you need to know, I like you, I like you a-hellava-lot. More than like,’’ he says sitting closer to me.
Reaching for his hand, I give him a light squeeze before brushing my fingers across his knuckles.
“I more than like you too,’’ I whisper.
“Good,’’ he smiles. “I need you to stay strong for me, for your Gram’s, but mostly for yourself. What happened is ineffable, but we need to show a front to whichever fucker did this to you.’’
“No one is going to own up to doing this to me Malik. Why would they? They got what they wanted. I don’t want to be here, but I also don’t have anywhere else to go. Everyday I’m going to be reminded of that photo. I feel violated. They saw me. They knew I was in that shower. Oh my God, were they there when we were… oh no. What if they have more photos Malik,’’ my voice hysterical and my breathing laboured.
“Calm down, hey calm down,’’ he says trying to hug me, but I push him away.
“No I will not calm down Malik. What if tomorrow you go to school and there’s pictures of us two together? This is mortifying. How could someone be so cruel? Why? Why me?’’ I cry.
“Whoever has done this hasn’t done it because of you. They have no reason to.’’
“Davis does and so does Hannah. They’ve both showed how much they want me around since my first day of school.’’
“You think this was that Craig Davis boy?’’ Gram’s says walking in the room looking pale.
“I don’t know Gram’s. I honestly don’t, but who else would do this to me? Why would they do this to me?’’
Malik (Carter Brother Series Book 1) Page 23
