Sam had told her things during that short affair he had told no one else. Things about his mother’s death, like how hard it had been to watch her die, feeling so helpless, his father’s endless grieving, his own dreams of making a difference so no one had to go through what his family had suffered. For once in his life his emotional guard had come down and it had backfired on him. Lexi had used him like she used her social standing to get what she wanted. He had almost lost everything because of her puerile, attention-seeking little game.
When it came down to it, it had been a choice between relocating or sitting back and watching his career implode. To a working-class trainee who had lived on Struggle Street for most of his life, Sam knew that the well-connected and powerful Richard Lockheart could have done some serious damage to his career. He hadn’t taken those threats lightly. He had been lucky enough to be able to switch to the US training programme, and while it had cost him a packet, it had been the best thing he’d ever done. He had worked with some of the world’s leading transplant surgeons and now he was considered one of the best heart-lung surgeons on the planet. Everyone back home had believed he had transferred on a scholarship and he hadn’t said anything to contradict the rumour. Interestingly, neither, it seemed, had Richard Lockheart.
The appointment to SHH had been timely because he had been keen to come home for a couple of years. He missed his homeland and his father. The man was the only family he had. It was time to come home and put the past behind him.
Lexi was a part of his past but she had no place in his future. He had been captivated by her beauty and her alluring sensuality. But her party-girl mentality had been at odds with his career-focussed determination back then—just as much as it was at odds with it now. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by her. Even though the eleven-year age gap was no longer such an issue he didn’t want anything or anyone—particularly not red-hot little Lexi Lockheart—derailing his career plans.
Lexi flicked a strand of hair away that had drifted across her face. ‘How will I contact you?’ she asked.
Sam’s brows snapped together. ‘About what?’
‘About your car,’ she said, with another little mocking quiver of her eyelids. ‘About the dent you need a magnifying glass to see.’
‘Forget about it,’ he said.
‘No, I insist,’ she said, taking out her mobile. ‘I’ll put you in my contacts.’ Her slim, beautifully manicured fingers poised over the data entry key.
And that’s when he saw it.
The diamond engagement ring on her finger seemed to be glinting at him like an evil eye, mocking him, taunting him.
Engaged.
He felt his throat seize up.
Lexi was engaged.
His mouth was suddenly so dry he couldn’t speak. His chest felt as if someone had backed over it with a steamroller. He couldn’t inflate his lungs enough to draw in a breath. His reaction surprised him. No, damn it, it shocked the hell out of him. She was nothing to him. What did it matter if she was engaged? It wasn’t as if he had any claim on her, certainly not an emotional one. He didn’t do emotion. He didn’t even like her, for goodness’ sake. She was an attention-seeking little tramp who thought bedding a boy from the bush was something to giggle about with her vacuous, equally shallow socialite girlfriends. Good luck to the man who was fool enough to tie himself to her.
Lexi looked up at him with an expectant expression. ‘Your number?’ she prompted.
Sam reluctantly rattled it off in a monotone he hardly recognised as his own voice. He had changed his number five years ago as a way of completely cutting all ties. He hadn’t wanted her calling him or texting him or emailing him. He didn’t want that soft sexy voice purring in his ear. It had taken years to get the sound of her voice out of his head.
Engaged.
Sam wondered what her fiancé was like. No, on second thought he didn’t want to know. He’d bet he was a preppy sort, probably hadn’t done a decent day’s work in his life.
Lexi was engaged. Engaged!
It was a two-sentence chant he couldn’t get out of his head. Cruel words he didn’t want to hear.
‘Do you want mine?’ she asked, tucking another wayward strand of platinum-blonde hair away from her face with her free hand. It had snagged on her shiny lip gloss. He guessed it was strawberry flavoured. He hadn’t eaten a strawberry in five years without thinking of the taste of her mouth.
He blinked. ‘Your … er what?’
‘My number,’ she said. ‘In case you want to contact me about the repairs?’
Sam swallowed the walnut-sized restriction in his throat. ‘Your car isn’t damaged.’
She looked at him for a moment before she closed her phone and popped it back in her bag. ‘No,’ she said. ‘It’s made of much tougher stuff, apparently.’
Sam’s gaze kept tracking to her ring. It was like a magnet he had no power to resist. He didn’t want to look at it. He didn’t want to think about her planning a future with some other nameless, faceless man.
He didn’t want to think about her in that nameless, faceless man’s bed, her arms around his neck and her lips on his.
‘You’re engaged.’
He hadn’t realised he had spoken the words out loud until she answered, ‘Yes.’
‘Congratulations,’ he said.
‘Thank you.’
Sam’s gaze tracked back to the ring. It was expensive. It suited her hand. It was a perfect fit. It looked like it had been there a while.
His chest cramped again, harder this time.
He brought his eyes back to hers, forcing his voice to sound just mildly interested. ‘So, when’s the wedding?’
‘November,’ she said, a flicker of something moving over her face like a shadow. ‘We’ve booked the cathedral for the tenth.’
The silence crawled from the dark corners of the basement, slowly but surely surrounding them.
Sam heard the scrape of one of her heels as she took a step backwards. ‘Well, I’d better let you get to work,’ she said. ‘Wouldn’t be good to be late for your first day on the job.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘That might not go down so well.’
The silence crept up to his knees again before he added, ‘It was nice to see you again, Alexis.’
She gave a tight smile by way of answer and walked off towards the lift, the sound of her heels click-clacking on the concrete floor striking totally unexpected and equally inexplicable hammer blows of regret in Sam’s heart.
CHAPTER TWO
LEXI got out on the medical ward floor with her heart still racing. She had to control her spiralling emotions, but how? How was she supposed to act as if nothing was wrong?
Sam was back.
The shock was still reverberating through her like a dinner gong struck too hard. Her head was aching from the tattoo beating inside her brain.
Sam was back.
She drew in a calming breath. She would have to act as if nothing was wrong. It wouldn’t do to reveal to everyone how shocked she was by his appointment. Had no one told her because they were worried how she would react or because they thought she wouldn’t even remember him? And how could she ask without drawing attention to feelings she didn’t want—shouldn’t want—to examine?
‘Hi, Lexi,’ one of the nurses called out to her. ‘I just bought my tickets for the ball. I can’t wait. You should see the mask I bought online. It’s fabulous.’
Lexi’s face felt like she was cracking half-dry paint when she smiled. ‘Great!’
The ball was the thing she was supposed to be focussed on, not Sam Bailey. It was the event of the year and she was solely responsible for it. It was no secret that some people at SHH were sceptical over whether she would be up to the task. Rumours of nepotism abounded, which made her all the more determined to prove everyone wrong. The proceeds she raised would go to the transplant unit for the purchase of a new state-of-the-art heart-lung bypass machine. Government funding was never enough. It took the
hard work of her and her fundraising team to bring to the unit those extras that made all the difference for a patient’s outcome.
And her older sister Bella was one of those patients.
Lexi pushed open the door of Bella’s room, a bright smile already fixed in place. ‘Hi, Bells.’
‘Oh, hi, Lexi …’ Bella said, her voice sagging over the weight of the words.
Lexi could always tell when Bella had just finished a session with the hospital physiotherapist. She looked even more gaunt and pale than usual. Her sister’s thin, frail body lying so listlessly on the bed reminded her of a skeleton shrink-wrapped in skin. She had always found it hard to look at her older sister without feeling horribly guilty. Guilty that she was so robustly healthy, so outgoing and confident … well, on the surface anyway.
She knew it was hard for Bella to relate to her. It put a strain on their relationship that Lexi dearly wished wasn’t there but she didn’t know how to fix it. Everything Bella did was a struggle, but for Lexi no matter what activity she tried she seemed to have a natural flair for it. She had spent much of her childhood downplaying her talents in case Bella had felt left out. She’d ended the ballet lessons she’d adored because she’d sensed Bella’s frustration that she could barely walk, let alone dance. Her piano lessons had gone the same way. As soon as it had become obvious Bella hadn’t been able to keep up, Lexi had ended them. It had been easier to quit and pretend disinterest than to keep going and feel guilty all the time.
But it wasn’t just guilt Lexi felt when she was around Bella. It was dread. Gut-wrenching, sickening dread that one day Bella was not going to be around any more.
The Lockheart family had lived with that fear for twenty-six years. It was as if the looming shadow of the Grim Reaper had stepped uninvited into their family, and for years had been waiting on the fringes, popping his head in now and again when Bella had a bad attack to remind them all not to take too much for granted, patiently waiting for his chance to step up to centre stage for the final act.
Everyone knew Bella would not reach thirty without a lung transplant. The trouble was getting her healthy and stable enough to be ready for one if a donor became available.
And then there was the waiting list with all those desperately sick people hoping for the same thing: a suitable donor. It was like a weird sort of live-or-die lottery. Even being a recipient of a healthy lung meant that some poor family somewhere else would be mourning the loss of the person they loved.
Life was incredibly cruel, Lexi thought as she put on her happy face for Bella. ‘I’ve brought you a surprise.’
Bella’s sad grey eyes brightened momentarily. ‘Is it that new romantic comedy everyone is talking about?’ she asked.
Lexi glanced at the portable DVD player her sister had on her tray table. Bella was addicted to movies, soppy ones mostly. The shelves the other side of the resuscitation gear held dozens of DVDs she had watched numerous times. ‘No, it’s not out until next month,’ Lexi said. She put the designer shopping bag she’d brought on the bed beside her sister’s frail form. ‘Go on,’ she urged. ‘Open it.’
Bella opened the bag and carefully took out the tissue-wrapped package inside. Her thin fingers meticulously peeled back the designer-shop logo sticker keeping the edges together. Lexi was almost jumping up and down with impatience. If it had been her receiving a package the tissue paper would have been on the floor by now in her haste to see what was inside. But Bella took her time, which was sadly ironic really, Lexi thought, when time was one thing she had so little of.
‘What do you think?’ she asked as Bella had finally unwrapped the sexy red lacy negligee and wrap set.
Bella’s cheeks were about as red as the lacy garments. ‘Thanks, Lexi, it was very kind of you but …’
‘You need to break out a little, Bells,’ Lexi said. ‘You’re always wearing those granny flannel pyjamas. Passion-killers, that’s what they’re called. Why not live a little? Who’s going to notice in here if you wear something a little more feminine?’
Bella’s cheeks were still furnace hot. ‘I’m not comfortable in your type of clothes, Lexi. You look stunning in them. You look stunning in anything. You’d turn heads wearing a garbage bag. I’ll just look stupid.’
‘You don’t give yourself a chance to look stunning,’ Lexi said. ‘You hide behind layers of old-fashioned drab clothing like you don’t want to be noticed.’
‘Don’t you think I get enough attention as it is?’ Bella asked with a flash of her grey eyes. ‘I have people poking and prodding me all the time. It’s all right for you. You don’t have to lie in here and watch the clock go round while another day of your life passes you by. You’re out having a life.’
There was a little tense silence, all except for the squeak of a nurse’s rubber-soled shoes in the corridor outside as she walked briskly past.
Lexi felt her shoulders drop. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I just thought something bright would cheer you up.’ She began to collect the lacy items from Bella’s lap.
Bella put her hand out to stop her taking away the negligee set. ‘No, leave it,’ she said on a heavy sigh. ‘It was sweet of you. I’ll keep it for when I’m better.’
The unspoken words if I get better hung in the air for a moment.
Lexi summoned up a smile. ‘Actually, I only bought it because there was a two-for-one sale. You should see the little number I bought myself.’
‘What colour is it?’
‘Black with hot pink ribbons.’
‘Are you saving it for your wedding night?’ Bella asked.
Lexi averted her gaze. ‘I’m not sure … maybe …’
‘Have you heard from Matthew?’
‘I got an email a couple of days ago,’ Lexi said. ‘It’s hard for messages to get through. His team are building a school in a remote village in Nigeria.’
‘I think he’s amazing to be volunteering over there,’ Bella said. ‘He could have just as easily stayed at home in the family business.’
‘He’ll come back to the Brentwood business once he’s done his bit for humanity,’ Lexi said.
‘It’s nice that you’re both are so passionate about helping others,’ Bella said.
‘Yes …’ Lexi dropped her gaze again. ‘Oh, and before I forget …’ She rummaged in another bag and took out the latest editions of the fashion magazines Bella loved and spread them like a fan on the tray table. ‘You should check out page sixty-three in that one. There’s a dress design just like the one you drew last week, only yours is better, in my opinion.’
‘Thanks, Lexi,’ Bella said with a shy smile.
There was the sound of a firm authoritative tread coming down the corridor.
‘I bet that’s your doctor,’ Lexi said, rising from the end of the bed where she had perched. ‘I’d better vamoose.’
‘No, don’t go,’ Bella said, grabbing at Lexi’s hand. ‘That will be the transplant surgeon. You know how much I hate meeting people for the first time. Stay with me? Please?’
There was a cursory knock at the door and then a nurse came in, followed by a tall figure with shoulders so broad they almost filled the doorway.
Lexi felt her stomach hollow out and her heart did that hit-and-miss thing all over again. Could this really be happening to her? What twist of fate had led Sam to be her sister’s surgeon? She’d thought he’d planned to be a renal transplant surgeon. She hadn’t for a moment suspected he would be Bella’s doctor. It would be even harder to avoid him now. There would be ward rounds and consultations in his rooms, follow-ups if the surgery went ahead. Lexi was the one who mostly ferried Bella around. How was she going to deal with being confronted with the pain of her past on such a regular basis?
‘Bella,’ the nurse said cheerily. ‘This is Mr Sam Bailey, the heart-lung transplant surgeon newly arrived from the US. We’re very lucky to have someone of his calibre working for us. And lucky you, for you are his very first patient at SHH. Mr Bailey, this is Bella Lockheart.�
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Sam held out his hand to Bella. ‘Hello, Bella,’ he said. ‘How are you feeling?’
Bella blushed like a schoolgirl and her voice was nothing more than a soft mumble. ‘I’m fine, thank you.’
‘And this is Lexi Lockheart,’ the nurse continued with a beaming smile as she turned to where Lexi was standing. ‘You’ll see a lot of her around the place. She’s a tireless fundraiser for SHH. If you have spare cash lying around, watch out. She’ll be on to you in a flash.’
Lexi cautiously met Sam’s gaze. How was he going to play this? As strangers meeting for the first time? Surely he wouldn’t acknowledge their previous relationship, not in a place like SHH where gossip ran as fast as the wireless broadband network, sometimes faster. His professional reputation could be compromised if people started to speculate about what had happened between them in the past.
He put out his large, capable hand, the same hand that had once cupped her cheek as he’d leant in to kiss her for the first time, the same hand that had skimmed over and held each of her breasts, the same hand that had stroked down to that secret place between her thighs and coaxed her into her first earth-shattering orgasm. Lexi slowly brought her hand to his, trying to ignore the way his warm palm sent electric zaps all the way to her armpit and back.
‘How do you do?’ he said in his deep baritone voice.
So it was strangers, then. ‘Pleased to meet you, Mr Bailey,’ she said, keeping her expression coolly polite. ‘I hope you settle in well at SHH.’
‘I’m settling in very well, thank you,’ he said, his eyes communicating with hers in a private lock that made her flesh tingle from head to foot.
She slipped her hand out of his and stepped back so he could speak to Bella. Her hand fizzed and tingled and she shoved it behind her back as she watched as he interacted with her sister with a reassuring mix of compassion and professionalism.
‘I’ve been going over your history in a lot of detail, Bella,’ he said, ‘especially your lung function over the last couple of years. I guess I don’t have to tell you that there’s been significant deterioration.’
Sydney Harbour Hospital: Lexi's Secret Page 2
