He ran a thumb across her lips, biting his own as though he wanted another taste. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment we met.”
Tired of waiting for his turn, Freddy circled her leg three times before jumping up and pawing at her shin.
She picked him up and welcomed his frantic kisses. She ignored the fact that he’d get excited over anyone and was probably thinking, I feel like we’ve met before. Do I know you?
Zoe had never been so happy to come home. And not to just one male in her life, but two.
“How are you?” Levi asked.
“A free woman. Thanks to Aiden.” She slipped off her shoes and headed for the living room.
“Yeah, I know,” he said, following her. “I saw him at the station after the police were done questioning the rest of us. We waited around, hoping you’d be released, but when it was clear it wasn’t going to be that simple, Aiden made some calls.”
The news made her feel both guilty that her mess had disrupted everyone’s day and grateful for such good friends. “I’m glad he did or I’d still be in there. It seems I’m suspect number one.” With a groan, she flopped onto the couch and put her feet up while she snuggled Freddy.
Levi sat down next to her, apprehensive for a man that just had his tongue down her throat. “I hope you don’t mind me being here. Since Aiden was dealing with the lawyer and Addison was still being questioned, I offered to come check on Freddy. She gave me her spare key to your place to get in. I figured your mom would be more comfortable with Piper. Besides,” he scratched behind Freddy’s ears, “he and I seem to have a pretty good thing going.”
As though in agreement, Freddy gave a quiet “Woof.”
Zoe cradled him against her chest, soaking in the comfort after her long day. But despite the plentiful kisses he gave her, something told her not even that would be enough that night.
“I didn’t know how long you would be held at the station so I thought I’d stay with him,” Levi said.
“I don’t mind at all,” she said. “Thank you for keeping him company.”
“Actually, that’s a lie.” He smiled kind of sheepishly. “I hung around to see you. I wanted to make sure you made it back all right.”
“I’m all right.”
He seemed disappointed in her answer, like he was hoping for more. Hoping she’d expand a little. Open up to him.
“Good. I’m glad.” He got to his feet to leave. “Well, I’d better be going. You’re probably tired. I’ll see you at the wedding?”
Before he could head for the door, she grabbed his hand. “No. I mean…” She took a deep breath and tried again. If Levi was going away with his band for an entire week, this wasn’t how she wanted to leave things. “I’m okay, but I could be better.”
This news seemed to make him happy despite the seriousness of it. “I don’t doubt it. Can I do anything to help?” She could see he was trying not to push her too hard for more.
“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” she said, finally. “Stay with me.” Zoe held his gaze, pleading with her eyes as though she’d never wanted anything more in her life. In fact, the way she felt right then made her think that maybe she never had.
Levi winced like he was in physical pain as he searched for an answer. He squeezed her hand tight. “Zoe, I—”
“I don’t mean sex,” she corrected. “I just want to sleep. Nothing more.”
The hesitation erased, and his expression melted with pleasure. “That’s definitely something more. A lot more,” he said. “Of course I’ll stay.”
24
Three-Dog Night
Zoe led the way into her bedroom as though it were the grand tour of the White House and they were entering the Oval Office. It felt momentous, like the moment held a certain reverence.
Beyond the odd plumber or repairmen, she’d never had a man in her apartment, far less her bedroom, since she’d lived with Sean. The only wiener she’d had in her bed was the four-legged kind. And maybe she’d had it wrong up until now. Maybe the answer wasn’t swearing off all men for the rest of her life, but was about finding the right man at her own pace. One step at a time.
Levi had said he’d wanted more. For Zoe, this was so much more than she’d ever thought she could give again. And it felt good. Maybe good enough to find even more within herself to give.
Zoe turned on the bedside lamp and plopped Freddy down on the bed. “I’m just going to get into something more comfortable. And by that,” she said, “I actually mean something more comfortable. There’s a spare pillow in that cupboard over there.”
She headed for the washroom, but then she heard a creak of a door behind her and her stomach dropped.
There was a pause. “What the…”
She lunged for the wardrobe. Slamming the door shut, she braced herself against it. “Not that cupboard.”
But it was too late. Because by the mixture of confusion and amusement on Levi’s face, he’d already seen what was hidden inside. There was a moment when he just stared at her, like are you serious?
A smile tugged at his lips, as though if he’d seen what he thought he’d just seen, he was going to burst out laughing. And just to be sure, he reached behind her and gently pulled on the door until she gave in and stepped aside.
What was the point? He’d already seen it.
“Are these … Fuzzy Friends? I remember these from when I was a kid.” He picked up Happy Hippo. “I didn’t even know they made these anymore.”
“Well, they’re not just for kids, you know,” she said defensively, snatching it back. “They’re collector’s items too.”
But he gave her an eyebrow arch that said he wasn’t falling for it. He picked up Tricky Turtle. “You know they lose their value once you open the package, right?”
“They never came in packages,” she said. “And this cupboard protects them from both dust, and UV light, and—”
“Zoe. Stop. Stop.” Levi kind of laughed and sighed at the same time. “Come on. Let me in.”
Zoe ducked her head. She was doing it again. She was shutting him out. Putting on her cool persona, both emotionally and physically. The ice queen. “You must think this is pretty silly.”
“No, I don’t,” he said with the biggest smile she’d ever seen on anyone.
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because beneath that tough exterior, beneath all those layers of armor you’ve built up”—he tapped her chest—“I’m starting to get glimpses of that soft, fuzzy, bean-filled center beneath. I feel like I’m finally getting through. Not that I’m pushing or anything.” He threw his hands up and took a step back. “I’m being pushy again, aren’t I? I’m sorry. I just”—he sighed—“I really like you. The bits of you that you’ve let me see, anyway.”
She made a noise like she was about to say something, but nothing came out. It had been so long since she let anyone this close.
“How can I get in there?” He tapped her chest again. “See what’s inside?”
“Oh, they’re called buttons,” Zoe said. “See, you just slip this round thing through this hole—”
He held a hand over hers to stop her from undressing further. “You know what I mean.”
She nodded. “It doesn’t come naturally. Not anymore. Just be patient. Give it some time.”
“Does that mean you’re giving me the time?” he asked. “That you finally know what you want?”
“I know that I want to try,” she said honestly. “I’d just convinced myself for so long that being alone was the best thing for me. That I’d be happier that way. You were right. I was scared.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you so hard. I guess I thought you could take it. You didn’t seem like a woman who would be scared of anything. But I should have let you come to that conclusion on your own.” He stared down at his feet as he chuckled. “I guess I’m not a very patient man.”
“You grab life by the balls.”
He gave her a surpri
sed look. “Exactly,” he said.
“But you know, I’m not the only one hiding behind a mask,” she said.
Levi’s eyes widened. “What? I know you don’t mean me, because I’ve been annoyingly me right from the start.”
“Oh, I’ll agree to that.” She laughed. “Your mask is more literal. The nail polish? The makeup? The piercings?” Zoe tugged lightly on his eyebrow ring. Under the light pressure, it came away in her fingers.
She gasped, dropping it in surprise. “I’m so sorry!”
However, when she glanced up to assess the damage, there was no blood. There weren’t even piercing holes left behind. Just two red marks where the ring had been.
Zoe bent down and picked up the metal hoop at their feet, but it wasn’t even a complete ring. It had a chunk missing. She wrinkled her nose in confusion. “What?”
“You’ve caught me.” He reached up to the spike in his upper ear and pulled it apart like two magnets. “I’m a fake.”
She gaped at him. “They’re not real?” Now she knew why they seemed to move around his face all the time.
He shrugged. “I’m not a big fan of pain. I know I’ll never get a tattoo, that’s for sure. But I have used some stick-on ones. It was pretty bad ass,” he joked.
But she wasn’t laughing. She was still staring at the ring in her hand. She finally asked, “Why do you do it?”
“I guess I’m trying out some new looks,” he said. “Seeing what suits the whole rocker vibe. I need to fit the part, right?”
“I don’t think your fans care about what you look like. They care about your music, and your music is amazing,” she said honestly.
Levi bit his lip and sat on the end of her bed. “But what if that’s not enough?” he asked her, but he was staring at his painted nails. “What if I’m not enough?”
The words tickled at a memory. Zoe recalled what he’d said about his ex-wife. I guess I just wasn’t enough for her.
Grabbing his earlobe piercings, she pulled them off impatiently and tossed them on her dresser. She slid her hand into his and dragged him into the bathroom where she took out her nail polish remover pads.
The acetone stung her nostrils as she began scrubbing his nails, one by one. Levi watched her with an amused look on his face, but never said a word.
When his nails were clear again, she handed him a makeup remover pad. Levi glanced at it and chuckled, but then she gave him a look and he dutifully turned to the mirror.
Wiping away the dark eyeliner, he washed his face and patted it dry with a cloth. When he finally turned back to her, he was less dark and brooding, less intimidating, and just as handsome. But now she could see all of his handsome face. All of Levi. He might have even passed for the boy next door.
“There,” he said. “Are you happy? Is there anything else? Maybe my jeans, perhaps?” He reached for his fly, but for once, her focus wasn’t down there.
Placing her hands on either side of his face, she stared at him for a moment until he shifted uncomfortably, maybe feeling as naked as she sometimes felt beneath his piercing gaze.
“It’s more than enough,” she said.
“So what does this mean for us?”
Zoe bit her lip. She wished she could say what he wanted to hear, but in the end, she turned away. “I can’t make you any promises. I can’t tell you that I’m a forever girl, that I suddenly believe in ‘till death do us part.’”
He grabbed her arm and gently forced her to face him. “I’m not asking for a promise of forever. Just a promise of more.”
She searched his hopeful eyes. “More than what?”
“More than a night.”
And it was surprisingly easy for her to say, “I can do that.”
“Then that’s good enough for me.” He held her face and kissed her. “For now.”
She kissed him back, relieved that they were on the same page. That she could even be on a page at all and for it to feel right. And kissing Levi felt so very, very right.
He pulled back and returned to her cupboard. “Look. We can pretend that I didn’t see any of this until you’re ready for me to know that stuffed-animal-cupboard side to you.” He tossed Tricky Turtle back inside and shut the cupboard doors firmly. “See? What collection of stuffed animals?”
Zoe snorted. Despite her racing heart, she opened the cupboard again. Reaching in, she drew Courageous Cat out. “This was the first Fuzzy Friend I ever received. He was a gift from my dad. He gave it to me on my first day of elementary school and said it was to give me courage. I used to take him everywhere with me.”
“You can tell.” Levi rubbed the ratty fur.
Zoe pointed to the back of the wardrobe. “That’s Merry Mouse. Dad gave him to me the day I won my first spelling bee. Noble Numbat was for graduation. Lucky Lynx helped me through my grandmother’s death.” She continued to point out each one as she went. “Broken arm. Passing my driver’s exam. My first broken heart. He gave me this one after my wedding day.”
She grew sad as she considered the meaning behind each one. The collection was a furry representation of all the biggest life moments that her father had been there for. She swallowed hard before closing the doors.
“My dad was a pretty stoic man, the strong silent type, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” He gave her a pointed look.
She relented with a little shrug, but continued. “It’s not like he always knew what to do or say during all the good and the bad times, but he remembered how much I loved my first Fuzzy Friend. It became his way of showing me he cared, even long after I was too old for stuffed animals.”
She sat down on the bed and Freddy instantly wormed his way across it to seek out her attention. Levi sat down next to her, barely blinking, like if he moved, if he spoke, if he blinked, this more open Zoe would disappear.
“When my dad died, I felt so lost in my grief,” she told him. “I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’d already started shutting people out after my wedding the year before, bottling things up. When I searched for something to help ease my grief, I didn’t know what else to do but buy a Fuzzy Friend.”
“So you collect them,” he said. “That’s not strange at all. People collect all types of things.”
“Well, I do more than just collect them. Sometimes I use them as a way to help lower my stress or anxiety during situations. I carry them around in my purse and I…”
She paused, trying to think of exactly what she did or why. She automatically reached out for Kissing Koala and began to rub its soft fur. She couldn’t look Levi in the eye as he listened to her try to explain.
“I guess knowing it’s there is comforting,” she said. “Maybe it’s my way of remembering all of those other hard times”—she gestured to the wardrobe—“knowing that if I got through them, I’ll be able to get through whatever it is I’m currently facing, you know?”
She finally managed to meet his intense gaze. He was nodding, a look of understanding on his face.
“That sounds exactly like a worry stone,” he said. “Some people keep a stone in their pocket, and any time they begin to feel stressed out, they reach in and touch it. In fact,” he said, “I always have my lucky guitar pick in my pocket during gigs. I never use it. I just like knowing it’s there.”
“So you don’t think it’s stupid?”
“Of course not. But you know”—he glanced back at the wardrobe and then lowered his voice as though the fuzzy bags of beans could hear him—“you could talk to someone when you have a bad day instead of a stuffed animal.”
Zoe laughed. “I don’t talk to them. I just, you know, hold them.” She rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of it. She’d never actually said it out loud before.
But Levi wasn’t laughing. “You could talk to me. I’d like to be there to support you.”
“I guess that wouldn’t be so bad.”
His nose wrinkled. “You guess?”
“Well, we’ll have to see,” she said in mock serious
ness. “Tonight is your audition.”
“Now I’m nervous. And me without my lucky guitar pick.” He repositioned himself on the bed, sitting up straighter like he was in the middle of an interview. “How am I doing so far?”
“Not bad, but I think we definitely need some snacks. I haven’t eaten in hours.” Zoe grabbed her stomach. “I’m pretty sure they were trying to starve a confession out of me.”
“Snacks. Okay, I can totally support you in this endeavor.” He hopped to his feet, ready to snack her.
“Great. I’ve got some food in the kitchen. Why don’t you dish something up while I go wash the jail off me?”
“Are you sure you don’t need support in the shower too? Because I can totally be there for you if you do.”
Giggling, she waved him away. “I’ve got this. You get the snacks.”
Levi grabbed her, nuzzling her neck. “But you look good enough to eat.”
His stubble tickled her and she squirmed and slipped out of his arms. Yet, she wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in them, to feel his facial hair tickle over the rest of her body. Suddenly, she was afraid that sleeping wouldn’t be enough that night.
Ducking into the bathroom, Zoe shut the door, smiling to herself, something she didn’t think she’d be doing after the day she’d had. Stripping out of her clothes, she jumped in the shower. When her hand twitched toward the massaging shower head, she turned the water temperature right down until she got a blast of cold.
Just sleep, she reminded herself. Just sleep. But even that had her breathless with excitement.
She felt like a whole new person. Or maybe just a whole person. By opening up herself, it was opening up all new possibilities. She’d shut herself off to men for so long, to the idea of finding someone new. But now, she almost felt giddy with hope. It made her want to shout or dance, to grab life by the balls.
She considered how she’d gotten to that point in such a short time. Levi had strolled in and turned her life upside down. Or maybe right side up. It’s not like she didn’t have plenty of men chase her over the years, so what was it about Levi that drew her out of her shell? More like punt-kicked her out of it.
A Wedding Tail Page 27
