by Ruby Vincent
Christian stared incredulously at the phone. “Did your mother just say that she and your dad are off having hot make-up sex?”
I groaned. “Don’t. I still want to have my dinner.”
I sidestepped him and went into the kitchen. He followed behind. “Why are they so... honest? They weren’t like this before.”
“Those were the wonderful, pre-therapy days,” I replied while I unwrapped our lasagna and stuck it in the microwave. “The therapist told Mom that it was important for her not to instill in me that sex is a shameful act, no matter that I got pregnant.” I shot him a look. “She’s been traumatizing me ever since.”
Christian laughed. I loved his laugh. I loved the way it rolled out of his chest and filled a room. I loved how it transformed his face and brought the old Christian back, if only for a while.
Christian came up behind me, spun me around, and lifted me onto the counter. I draped my arms around his shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world. “But did it work? How do you feel about sex now?”
His grin was wolfish—full of promise. As was the one that stole over my lips. “Maybe you’ll find out.”
He bent to kiss me.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
I jumped, toppling off the counter and falling into Christian’s arms. We burst out laughing as the microwave made its racket.
“She’s really into it,” Christian continued. He set me back on my feet and I took out our food. “She asked me the other day if I wanted to join you guys for a... sharing circle?”
I stifled a groan. “Trust me, you don’t want to. I’ll take my punishment for driving her to it, but I don’t want anyone else to suffer with me.”
“Driving her to it?”
I looked up from the lasagna. I meant it as a joke, but Christian’s expression was serious. “What does that mean?”
“Just that— We walked about it at the ravine. Mom found out I was pregnant the week she lost her job. On top of that, she was having problems with Dad. It was tense from the start, then she brought up adoption.”
I turned my head away, shifting my gaze to the window. “I stopped talking to her. Literally went days without saying a word to her. Mom didn’t handle it well, and after the baby was born, she sent me to my grandparents and put herself in therapy.”
I didn’t know why I was telling him this. Only Estelle knew what we went through after I dropped my baby bomb, but still, I didn’t stop. It felt good to share with him again—to talk about everything like we used to.
“There were all these new rules when I came back,” I continued. “And she talked to me like she ate a psych textbook all so we could ‘communicate’ again.”
I shook myself. “Anyway, that’s the story of how my house became the over-sharing, feeling-obsessed place it is. Aren’t you glad you tricked your way in here now?”
He cracked a smile. “Definitely.” Christian put his arm around my waist and pressed me to him.
I rested my head on his chest, breathing him in as he held me. I didn’t think this moment could get more perfect.
We spent the whole of dinner laughing and joking. It was like the last two years never happened. It wasn’t until I turned off the kitchen lights and we made for the stairs that the mood shifted.
We fell silent. The soft creaking of the steps seemed deafening in that moment. I was highly aware of Christian’s presence. His familiar scent filled my lungs. The memory of his fingers threaded through my hair. The taste of him on my lips. I felt him on me like I felt the heat coursing through my body.
Christian and I stopped in the hallway, halfway between our rooms. We gazed at each other and all the things I wanted to say hung on my lips. I opened my mouth.
“Good night, Christian.”
He smiled. “Night, Bryant.”
Christian kept his eyes on me as he backed toward the door and let himself in. I didn’t move until it was closed.
I padded into my room and went straight to my desk. I busied myself with looking through photos. Then I stood and pawed through my closet for an outfit to wear to school. Then I went back to my laptop. Then I got up again and sorted through my DVD collection.
I couldn’t settle. Christian plagued my thoughts.
Why am I here and him in there? Why?
The DVD fell from my fingers and clattered to the floor. I paid it no mind as I crossed the room and pressed myself against the door.
Are you sure about this, Rachel?
I opened the door.
Christian leaned against the frame as if he had been waiting. Our eyes locked and I swallowed as I read the naked want swirling in the amber.
I didn’t try to speak this time. I just stepped back into my room, leaving the door open.
Footsteps sounded behind me and I caught my breath. Christian pulled me to him before that breath was released.
He captured my lips. This kiss wasn’t like the ravine. It was slow and unhurried. Christian teased out every gasp, every moan, like he wanted to savor them.
My hands slid down his chest and under his shirt. We broke apart long enough for him to tug it over his head and drop it onto the floor. The rest of our clothes soon joined the pile.
Christian lifted me and placed us on the bed. He straightened and his eyes swept along the curves and dips of my body. I couldn’t help myself. I covered my scar.
“No, don’t.” Christian closed his fingers over mine and pulled them away. “You have nothing to feel self-conscious about, Rachel. You’re beautiful. You’re just... so fucking beautiful.”
His words reached deep inside of me and blew away the last traces of insecurity. I laced my fingers through his and drew him to me.
Christian gave me the kiss I was looking for, but all too soon, his lips were gone. I mourned the loss as he dropped kisses on my chin and down my neck—that was until his lips found a new home.
A tiny, breathless squeak escaped my throat as Christian took my nipple into his mouth. He laughed.
“I like that sound,” he said huskily. “Let’s see if I can get you to make it again.”
I had no doubt that he would. My eyes were glued to him as he ripped open the condom, and it hit me. This was really happening. I was about to have sex with Christian Moreau. I had only done this once before and it had been a mess from start to conception. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.
“You know this is only my second time, right?”
Christian grasped my leg and draped it on his shoulder. He had eyes only for the smooth, pale skin as he caressed my thigh.
I was quivering like jello. My body wanted him so badly it hurt. My mouth wouldn’t shut up.
“I’m not experienced,” I continued as Christian kissed just above my knee. “I wasn’t exactly eager to rush out and do it again after— after I— after—”
Christian was kissing his way down my thigh and it was highly distracting. My heart pounded in my ears. My breaths coming quicker as I realized where he was going.
“Okay, so we’re d-doing that now. We’re—”
A gasp ripped from my throat when his mouth found its destination. I clutched his shoulders, my nails digging in, as my back arched off the bed.
Christian pulled back, humming as he draped my other leg around his shoulder. “I like that sound too.”
“Don’t stop!”
Christian didn’t need to be told twice. Electricity zipped through my body, igniting every nerve-ending, lighting me on fire.
“Oh my god, that’s good,” I moaned. “Why didn’t anyone t-tell me it was this good? That’s not information you keep to yourself!”
I bit my lip hard when Christian sent another wave of pleasure crashing over me.
“I’m talking too m-much, aren’t I?” I asked after I caught my breath. “I should shut up. I’m trying to shut up but— Hell, yes! Right there!”
The sheets crumpled in my fists as the wave took over me and dragged me under. I had sex before. Clumsy, awkward, terrible sex and I imagined i
t didn’t get much better than that. Christian blew that thought away and the night was still far from over.
My breasts rose and fell with my pants and I guided Christian’s hands onto them. “If you think I’m talking too much, just tell me to shut up.”
Christian rose and put his hands on either side of my head. I gazed into his eyes and the look in them almost sent me over the edge. I could see everything I needed to know reflected in his eyes. How much he wanted me—needed me.
My eyes fluttered shut as he pushed the curls out of my face. I love it when he did that. “Kiss me,” I whispered.
Christian claimed my lips. I wrapped my arms around him while his hand skirted down my body and slipped inside of me.
My nails dug into his back as he moved, picking up the pace as my fevered moans spurred him on.
Christian settled between my legs and I knew what was coming next.
“I’m trying to stop,” I breathed, “but I’m really nervous. Please, just tell me to shut up.”
He chuckled. “Bryant.”
Blue met amber. “Yes, Christian?”
“I missed you.”
A smile rose to my lips as every last trace of nerves fled. I didn’t need to be scared. This was right. This was Christian.
“I missed you too.”
He pushed into me. I winced at the pain. Christian waited, giving me a chance to relax my body before he moved. There was no pain now—only an intense mounting pleasure that swelled with every thrust. I made every noise he liked and more and he brought me closer and closer and finally over the edge into a screaming orgasm. Pleasure surged into every molecule and I shook as it wracked my body.
All I could do was cling to Christian as I came down. He pressed his mouth to my ear. “Want to do it again?”
I laughed breathlessly. “Fuck yes.”
I WOKE SLOWLY THE NEXT morning. Taking my time as memories from last night flooded in and filled me with warmth.
I can’t believe I was with Christian once, twice, and three times.
I lifted my head from his chest and took in his sleeping face. I couldn’t believe he was still here either. Last night wasn’t a dream.
I leaned forward and placed a kiss on Christian’s cheek. His breathing picked up as he stirred.
“Rachel?”
I whipped my head around.
“Rachel, you’re not still sleeping, are you?” my mother called through the wood. “You have to get ready for school.”
In horrific slow motion, the doorknob turned and my door creaked open. I shot up like the bed was electrified. Scrambling out of sheets, I threw myself on the door and slammed it shut.
“Rachel!”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I cried. I quickly turned the lock. “You can’t come in.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m— I’m—” My brain scrabbled for an excuse. “I’m naked!”
I smacked my hand over my face. I was such an idiot.
A sound from the right made me lower my fingers to peek at Christian. The jerk was fighting like crazy to keep a lid on his laughter.
“Why are you naked?”
I flapped at hand at him to keep quiet. “I’m... getting dressed for school.”
“Oh, I see. Well, you don’t have to be embarrassed. Mom has seen all your bits and pieces. Remember who wiped that dirty tush.”
Christian was losing it now. He had to bury his face in the pillow to muffle the sound. I’m pretty sure I was red from top to bottom.
“Mom, please,” I begged. “Just let me get dressed.”
“Okay, okay. But have you seen Christian? He’s not in his room.”
Panic seized my throat. “He uh— left already,” I croaked.
“But his car is in the driveway?”
Stupid! Stupid! Of course it is!
I cut eyes to Christian, desperation clear on my face, but he just reclined onto the headboard, grinning that grin.
“He got a ride to school,” I finally said. “Something’s wrong with his car.”
“Oh. Okay.” I heard her retreating footsteps. “Breakfast in five.”
My knees gave up on me at that point. I slid down the door, my racing heart beginning to calm. “You were no help, you asshole,” I hissed at him.
He chuckled. “It looked like you had everything under control.”
Christian climbed out of bed and this time I went red for another reason. My eyes drank in every inch of his body. I wanted to push him back down and go for number four.
“I should go and let you get dressed for real,” Christian said as he pulled on his boxers. “Keep your mom busy in the kitchen so I can sneak out of the house.”
I nodded. I hated that it was over so soon. Now I had to go out and face moms, school, and drama when all I wanted was to hold on to this perfect moment with him for a little longer.
I picked myself off the floor when he was dressed. He pulled me in for one more searing kiss then he was gone.
“HEY,” I SAID AFTER I climbed in the car. “Thanks for driving me.”
“Anytime, babe.” Estelle backed out of the driveway and set off for Meadow Creek High. “So what happened to you yesterday?”
“Christian and I went to the ravine,” I said simply.
“Seems like you two are hanging out a lot.”
I hid a smile. “Yeah, we are.”
“Rachel... look at me.”
I picked my head up. “What? What is it?”
Estelle hit the brakes at a stop sign and narrowed her eyes at me. I grew uncomfortable as she looked me up and down.
“Um... Estelle? Shouldn’t we go?”
Suddenly, her face changed. Her mouth formed an “o” of surprise. “Oh. My. God.”
“What?”
“You had sex!”
I gaped at her. “How could you possibly know that?”
“So you did!” She swatted my shoulder. “You little minx.”
A laugh escaped me despite myself. “Does anyone use that phrase anymore?”
“They would if they met your minx ass. You slept with Christian, didn’t you?” Estelle had abandoned driving. She took her hand off the wheel and shifted to face me, her expression eager. “I want to know every single detail right now.”
“We have to get to school. Can’t I give you details after?”
“No.”
I heaved a sigh. It would be a lot easier if I gave in. “We went to the ravine and talked—really talked—about everything that happened between us. When we came back, my parents were out of the house, and things just sort of happened.”
“And?” she pressed. “You know that’s not going to satisfy me. I want to know how big, how many times, what positions, where he is on the freaky scale, and if he pushes your head down when you give him a blowjob. I don’t know why guys do that,” she said mostly to herself. “It puts you off the whole thing. Ryan doesn’t do it.”
My cheeks were on fire. Estelle told me the details all the time, but I never had my own to share until now. “How about you drive and I talk?”
“Deal.”
By the time we got to school, we had dissected every part of my night with Christian.
“Honestly, it feels like we’re talking about a different guy.” Estelle parked and shut off the engine. “After everything he’s done to you, I can’t picture you two standing in the kitchen, laughing over a plate of spaghetti.”
I smiled. “It was lasagna actually.”
Estelle peered at me, growing serious. “And finding out all this began because you were the one who started the rumors that he was a deranged, sociopath foster kid.”
“I still can’t believe I did that.” I leaned back in my seat, staring unseeingly out of the window. “It just came out of my mouth; I didn’t mean any of it. I definitely didn’t want to hurt him. I know all the stuff he went through.” I sighed. “But that was Old Rachel. Attacking someone’s weakness was her gift.”
She took my hand. “It was me
ssed up, but it’s not like he suffered for long. No one can resist a sexy, brooding, bad boy. Ain’t that right, little minx?”
Chuckling, I shoved her shoulder.
Estelle’s smile slipped. “Still, I hope you know that doesn’t excuse all the things he did.”
“I do.” I squeezed her hand. “Christian does too. He knows everything that happened after that night was on him.”
She studied my face. “Are you sure about him?”
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate. “I am.”
“Okay, then I’m happy for you.”
I leaned in and kissed her cheek. I was so lucky to have her—words couldn’t describe.
We piled out of the car and went into school. People nodded and said what’s up. A few asked if I felt better after the sting. I didn’t think things could get any better. Estelle. The school no longer against me. Being with Christian.
We rounded the corner and there he was, waiting at my locker.
I waved goodbye to Estelle, then walked up to him. “How did you beat us here?”
“Got a ride from Ryan.”
And they probably didn’t park themselves at a stop sign and go over every second of last night.
I reached for my locker, but Christian stopped me and opened it himself.
“I don’t think you have to do this anymore,” I said. “After what happened in the cafeteria, I don’t think Madison is going to be putting anything else in my locker.”
“I know she won’t.” I smiled at his growl. He was cute when he was protective.
Christian handed me my chem book as the bell went off. We left for Biedermeier’s class with his arm around me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. I regretted getting his car left at the house. No way would Mom and Dad be out of the house two nights in a row, and if we had wheels, we could have snuck off after school and gone to the ravine.
I’m starting to see why they refuse to get me a car.
“What are you smiling about?”
I tilted my head up to grin in his face. “Whisking you to the ravine after school and having my way with you.” I shrugged. “Too bad we don’t have a car.”
“Trust me.” Christian’s finger grazed my cheek. “That won’t stop us.”
By the time we got to Biedermeier’s class, I couldn’t hold back my smile. Christian ignored his look and took the seat next to mine again.
