Then it registered what had drawn him out of that oddly familiar, so-long-vanished world of doodling. His phone. He looked around and then down at the bench beside him, where apparently he'd received three text messages while he wasn't paying attention.
Odd to think of being so buried in something artistic that he hadn't noticed his phone's chime. He picked it up. The first text was from Gregory. U sure hon? The second one was also from Gregory. I'll bee home soon, babe. He'd added a couple of little honeybee emojis at the end of the text to accentuate his pun. Abe rolled his eyes and groaned, but he was grinning at the same time.
He looked at the third text, this one more serious, from Ollie. Your ex is here. Is that why you left? Oh bb. Don't you freak out, I'll be there soon. xo
As he was trying to think of what to say about this—assuring Ollie that he was fine, even though he hadn't really been, and responding to Gregory's notes as well—a fourth text chimed into his phone, again from Ollie.
You def traded up bb. Just sayin. The muscles your man has!
Abe chuckled to himself and bent forward, texting back quickly. Hands off the muscles! See you soon. :) Ollie attended to, he typed back a response to Gregory, telling him not to rush off until he was ready. I'll be fine here. Ollie's going to stop by. Lenard was there, and it surprised me. But to be honest, I was ready to go home anyway.
There, he'd spelled everything out (using punctuation and everything), so now he wasn't being dishonest with Gregory. He felt refreshed from his break and better able to face things as they were.
Really, what did it matter that he'd found today a challenge? He'd still done his part and hadn't embarrassed himself or anyone else. Sure, it would be nice if he was better able to socialize, but he'd done his best. He'd even traded barbs with his ex. The encounter had shaken him, but he'd recover.
Likely, he wouldn't see Lenard again for years. At least one could hope.
Feeling a bit more like himself, he got up and went into the house to start some coffee. He'd gotten really into French press and thought that Ollie would enjoy it.
After he'd started the brew process, he went outdoors again and got a watering can and went to start hydrating some of Gregory's newest plants. The ones that had just been planted were always far more delicate and needed extra babying. Abe might not know much about plants, or to be honest care all that terribly much, but he could wield a watering can, and it was nice to be of at least some use for Gregory's gardening projects. He stayed well away from the hive, though.
ABE FELT CALM, AND virtuous for taking care of all those baby plants, when Gregory arrived, looked lovely in his jeans and t-shirt. He got out of the car carrying something. Abe waved and put down his now-empty watering can, thinking that Gregory would be proud and appreciative. Abe would be quite modest about it, of course...
He walked up to Gregory, smiling a little. Really...the divorce had been painful and awful, but if he hadn't made it through that, he'd never have met this amazing man. He gave his boyfriend a kiss and smiled at him. And then realized that Gregory was not exactly cheerful-looking. He was carrying a paper bag with handles. "Treasures?" asked Abe, trying not to get nervous. "I watered your plants," he added.
"Thanks," said Gregory. He was looking at Abe in a way Abe didn't like.
"Did something happen?"
"Well, yes. Your text came a little late. Your friend had to be the one to inform me that your ex was there and scared you off." His frown was more like a scowl now. "I don't appreciate being kept in the dark, Abe."
Abe gulped and took a step back. "Well, I'm okay now. I just..." His voice trailed off. Of course he should have texted Gregory the truth. He had expected he'd share what had really happened at some point—but not like this. "He threw me off-balance," he admitted. "But I didn't really want to talk about it, or upset you."
"Abe." Gregory sighed. He walked past him with a strangely defeated slump to his shoulders and put the bag down on the porch. He headed out to the garden, going immediately to check on his plants.
Abe, who normally left him to his plants in peace, followed nervously. "What? Did something happen?"
Gregory didn't look at him. "He was awful. I didn't know who he was till Ollie said. I felt like a fool. But I guess most of all I'm hurt that you didn't trust me."
"Oh, Gregory, it's not that."
"Isn't it?" Gregory touched the leaf of a plant, examining it as if it was very important, not looking at Abe at all.
"No, really. I trust you." Abe headed around the plant, following his boyfriend through the pathways as he headed off in another direction. The backyard garden was truly coming along, although he always seemed to have so much more work to do. Now he wondered...how much of that work was because Gregory wanted to avoid him? The way he was refusing to look at Abe...
"You know that it's a bit of a difficult subject for me," pleaded Abe. "I was having an anxious day anyway. It wasn't about you. I'm sorry he took you by surprise, though. That wasn't very nice."
"Well, Lenard isn't a very nice man, is he?" said Gregory in a hard voice. "In fact, I wanted to punch him in that smug face."
Abe's heart sank. "Oh? What did he say about me?" He tried to sound casual, but he couldn't imagine peaceful Gregory wanting to punch someone unless it was something really awful.
Gregory shook his head slowly. Not going to share that awful nugget, then. Abe shuddered. How dreadful it must be... Lenard had always been able to twist things, and really, he didn't have to twist very far to make Abe look pathetic and useless.
"Oh, Gregory, I wish you hadn't had to listen to him," said Abe, his remorse sudden and complete. "I'm so sorry I didn't warn you. I had no idea he even knew who you were or that he'd harass you. I don't ever post about you online anywhere he could see."
"No," said Gregory, a soft, sad word that stopped Abe in his tracks.
He gulped. "Do you...wish I did?"
"Some people are more private than others. That's okay." Gregory looked up at him now, giving him a pained smile he was clearly trying to mean. "You don't have to splash our relationship around everywhere. It's enough for me that we're together." He clearly wanted to mean that, but he sounded as though he was trying to convince himself most of all.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. This wasn't good at all.
Abe twisted his hands together anxiously. "Gregory, you know I love you. I didn't want you to be a secret from Lenard because I'm ashamed of you. It's because—because that bastard ruins everything he touches! If he found a way to touch our relationship..." He shuddered. "I hate him, Gregory. I hate him and he still scares me, and I didn't want you to know that."
He felt raw and stripped bare admitting that. He'd never wanted to hate anyone; he'd never wanted to spend his life afraid. But it didn't seem to ever truly go away, just recede into the background. The world had once proved to be worse than he'd ever guessed, and that knowledge would never truly go away—that things could fall apart terribly, that people you loved could hurt you, that nightmares could be real.
He might never really be sure Lenard couldn't hurt him anymore, and the old things might never heal all the way—at least, there might always be scars. Little pathetic broken pieces he tried to hide even from Gregory—perceptive Gregory, who was seeing it all wrong this time, thinking Abe was ashamed of him when that could never be the case.
He didn't realize how close to tears he was until Gregory took him in his arms and he could breathe again.
"All right. Don't cry, Abe. Don't. It's all right." He held him gently, as if he knew how breakable Abe felt, and stroked the back of his head. It was as soothing as he meant it to be. "You know I love you, and he can't ruin that."
"Oh, what did he say about me? It's so awful you can't repeat it." He wished he hadn't run.
"It doesn't matter. None of it was true. It was really about him—what sort of person he is. He's just mean clear through."
Abe shuddered.
"But he can't hurt you anymore. If he co
mes around here, I'll send him packing. I know what he looks like now," he added grimly.
"Let's talk about something else," suggested Abe, trying not to feel shuddery anymore. He drew back and looked up at Gregory, giving him a wobbly smile. "Did I mention I watered your plants?"
Gregory looked at him with kind eyes. "Yeah. I think you did." He hooked his arm around Abe. "Come on. Let me show you where I want to plant a fig tree."
Abe followed, leaning against him a little when he could, glad to take the chance to focus on something else. He might not give a fig about fig trees (so to speak) but it was a real pleasure when Gregory shared his passions with Abe.
"You're wrong, you know," said Gregory after a bit, interrupting his stream-of-consciousness rambling about the benefits and risks of various figs. He glanced at Abe. "You said he ruins everything he touches. Well, he didn't ruin you."
It was such an unexpectedly moving thing to say that for a moment, Abe really believed it could be true.
Chapter seven
By the time Ollie arrived for a chat and a snack, Abe and Gregory were both a great deal calmer. They walked over to greet Ollie, Gregory shaking his hand while Abe thought a quick hug was more appropriate.
"I have some things to do out here," said Gregory, "if that's all right." He searched Abe's gaze with a question in his eyes.
"Oh, yes, we'll be fine." Ollie waved him off, not waiting for Abe to reply, though Gregory seemed content with whatever he read in Abe's gaze.
"We have so many things to talk about," Ollie added, rather camp, his cheerfulness sounding a bit forced.
As soon as they were alone in the kitchen, Abe hurrying around to get that French press coffee brewing, he asked Ollie, "What are the things we need to talk about?"
"Well, you'd probably rather not talk about Lenard in front of Gregory, I'm sure," said Ollie.
He made a face. "I'd rather not talk about Lenard at all. Anyway, we've already spoken about...some of it."
He waved a hand vaguely, always embarrassed by the subject of the failed marriage or the even more painful parts of it. It was still difficult not to feel shame whenever the subject of Lenard came up.
Ollie put a hand on his arm and gave him a searching look. "Sit. Talk with me. Are you okay?" He rubbed Abe's arm lightly, as if to comfort a skittish animal. Abe supposed he had been rushing around the kitchen, fluttering a bit more than normal.
"Oh. Yes." He deflated into a seat. "He didn't...do anything to me. I just wanted to get away. I spoke with him for a few moments, and...I was all right, until I wasn't, somehow." He gave Ollie an apologetic grimace. "I know it doesn't make sense, but..." He shrugged expressively.
"It's all right. I understand. Is Gregory...?"
"Oh, yes, he's terribly good to me. Understanding. A little hurt I didn't warn him, but he's forgiven me already."
"I'm glad you've got such a nice guy now," observed Ollie, leaning back a little and looking less worried. "I can't imagine him hitting you."
Abe winced. The bald reminder, in plain words, still made him feel raw and exposed, and really stupid. Being married to the man he loved was supposed to be so wonderful, a dream come true. Instead, it had ruined marriage for him, broken his heart and nearly the rest of him, and made him more neurotic than ever. Lenard hadn't been a Prince Charming after all, he'd been a wicked something-or-other instead.
"Gregory is very good to me," said Abe in stilted tones.
Ollie didn't notice his discomfort and went on, "I liked him from the beginning."
"A little too much," murmured Abe, reminded of the shark-eyed way Ollie had first been around Gregory. He'd behaved differently as soon as he realized Abe was interested, but it had been uncomfortable for Abe—his hot neighbor being flirted with by his far more experienced, confident, and, to be honest, better-looking best friend. This was before he had known Gregory had the least bit of interest in him and he'd known he had no right to be jealous. But he had not been pleased with Ollie.
"Ha! Yes, well." Ollie twisted a decorative ring on his finger. "But you know I'd never begrudge you getting a good guy, finally. Anyway! Don't you want to know what happened after you left and I got there?"
"Not particularly, but I have the feeling you're going to tell me." The coffee was beginning to fill the house with a lovely smell, but he regarded Ollie uneasily. "How did he know about the bake sale, anyway? I mean, that I'd be there. If he did know. He certainly didn't seem surprised to see me, anyway, and it's not the sort of thing he'd usually go to. You don't think he's stalking me?" He wrinkled his brow in worried expression, searching Ollie's face, hoping he was wrong.
"I think someone mentioned you on Facebook and he saw it and put two and two together. I don't know about stalking, but he'd better not! I think he just wanted some drama along with his junking."
"Well, he did say there was a book there he wanted to bid on. But that didn't seem like quite enough to drag him all this way. Unless he thought there were a lot of other undervalued items." He frowned, trying to figure it out. He wanted it to not be about him—he didn't want to be the subject of Lenard's focus ever again. Still, it felt very much as if he had been. Would Lenard try something else later, or was he done?
Will he ever be done with me? Harassing me...haunting me...
"Well, whether he came for you or not, when I got there, he was positively grilling your boyfriend. Greg seemed confused by his hostility and questions."
"Gregory," murmured Abe, unable to help correcting him.
Ollie waved his hands at him. "Will you listen? Of course, as soon as I got there, I set things straight! I marched right up to that jerk and told him exactly what I thought of him." Ollie's eyes gleamed in pleasure. "What he thought he was doing...! Anyway, the scales positively fell from Gregory's eyes, and he stopped even trying to be polite to Lenard. He had some things to say, let me tell you!"
Abe cringed. As wildly and nervously curious as he'd been earlier, he found he really didn't want to know. "Please." He held up his hand. "Don't tell me the rest! I—I just want to talk about something else."
"Oh." Ollie's eyes opened wider, and he drew back. "Okay. I thought you'd want to at least talk about it."
"No, no," said Abe, feeling flustered under Ollie's aware gaze and trying not to meet it. "I—just want to get on with things. Did most of the things sell? The—the baked goods, I mean?" he asked desperately.
"Darling, they flew off the shelves," said Ollie in a gentler voice. "Well, the tables. I'm sure Gregory's salesmanship skills helped, but honestly, you made some gorgeous desserts. You could be on that baking show. Oh! That reminds me." He hopped up. "If I'm going to visit at all, I can't leave that pie in the car! Food poisoning is not my scene."
With these profound words, he rushed outside.
Abe folded his hands together, looked down at them, and let out a tiny sigh. Why hadn't he just kept the pie here in the fridge for Ollie, if it was going to be so much hassle for everyone, hauling it back and forth?
ABE AND GREGORY HAD a quiet evening in together. Gregory worked off whatever frustrations he'd had from the day in his garden, and Abe found himself filling two more pages of his sketchbook. Both were illustrations of vining plants with some insects and birds mixed in, and he was surprised at how pleasing he found them, as well as relaxing. Had the dam burst and his creativity returned? But he didn't feel like drawing anything with a message, anything particularly meaningful; he just liked the feel of the paper under his pen or pencil, the soft swirls of nature designs, the comfort of filling a page with something innocuous and gentle.
He might even show them to Gregory later. Gregory would be encouraging, because he always was. They really were pleasing little sketches. Abe was really not a terribly vain man, aside from a few instances—at least that was what he told himself—but he could see that they were pretty little sketches, visually appealing, perfect for what they were without being anything more. And maybe, now that he was older, that was enough.
And then they went to bed together, each reading for a few minutes before turning to the comfort of each other's arms. It was wonderful to be with a man like Gregory.
When they were falling asleep after making love, he thought again of his own reluctance to move in together. They practically lived together now. But some part of him just didn't feel ready to take that step, and it wasn't because Gregory hadn't put a ring on his finger...
He fell asleep wondering about it idly, and vines and birds swirled through his dreams. There were no nightmares tonight, with Gregory holding him so close, and Lenard and murder and all the bad things in the world kept at bay.
SUNDAY WAS A RESTFUL day. Abe was relieved the bake sale was over and that nothing had gone horribly awry, but reminders of Lenard made him uneasy and ashamed. That part of his life was something he'd been trying to forget, and he didn't want to waste any more time or pain thinking about all of that.
Neither he nor Gregory did anything much that day, aside from a few light chores. They spent their time mostly together and relaxing. Abe drew a little more. Gregory gardened in a relaxed manner, tweaking the heads off things that were going to seed before he wanted them to, trimming and encouraging various vines, picking vegetables here and there. It was a calm day, and just what Abe needed. He didn't try to work or think or talk about Lenard, just enjoyed the time with his loving, faithful, and gentle boyfriend. They made dinner together and had an early night of it, and enjoyed that very much, too.
Poison at the Bake Sale Page 7
