by Ali Vali
“Nothing happened to people like Lorenzo Mendoza, Fausto,” Rodolfo said. His hair was combed and he’d changed clothes, but he still appeared drained. “I’m sure Lorenzo, like the others, are stuck to my sister like maggots to a rotting corpse.”
“That’s why we’re still looking for her and Juan. They have plenty to answer for,” he said.
“Fausto, could you step out, but don’t go far,” Rodolfo said. When they were alone he sat across from Carlos. “I’m glad you sent for him. He’s a good man.”
“We need people we can trust until this is over.”
“I appreciate your tenacity, Carlos,” Rodolfo said, opening the drawer of the table next to him and taking out a stack of papers. “I’m an old man, and while I’m proud of the loyalty of you and a few others, I’ve made enemies during my life.” The confession didn’t seem easy for Rodolfo to make because he turned his head away when he spoke. “The ones who hate me most are my own sister and nephew.”
“You shouldn’t waste time mourning their loss, patrón. They don’t deserve it after the way they’ve been so ungrateful for what you’ve done for them.”
“They won’t stop until they destroy me, so you need to know some things before anything happens.”
“Don’t say that.” He forgot his position and placed his hand on Rodolfo’s knee. His job didn’t matter if he lost the only father figure in his life. “I’m here to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“You are why I don’t regret losing Juan.” Rodolfo handed him the papers. “If something happens to me, I want my business and my possessions to go to my son, and this will has always been written with those wishes in mind.” He stopped and sighed. “Maybe that’s why Juan and I never grew close.”
“You have a son?” he asked, hoping the man was nothing like Juan.
“Read the first page.”
The words were familiar to him from what little he knew of legal documents. I, Rodolfo Luis, bequeath my estate and bank accounts to my only son and heir, Carlos Santiago. The sentence made his fingers so numb, he finally dropped the page on the third reading. “Me?”
“Don’t think I’ve waited until now because I was ashamed of you.”
He lifted the papers off his lap and put them aside before he looked up at Rodolfo. “Then why? Why wait, and why now?” It was the first time in his life he had spoken to Rodolfo in anger. He guessed the only reason Rodolfo had been so generous was payment for having his mother in his bed to do his bidding all these years. Carlos was shocked.
“I promised your mother. She got pregnant but knew what a target you’d become if she allowed me to acknowledge you.”
He curled his hands into fists and ran his knuckles along his thighs. “You’re blaming my mother?”
“You don’t know what it was like back then,” Rodolfo said, standing and beginning to pace. “I was starting to build this empire, so I couldn’t put a wall of protection around us like I can now.”
“So what? You acknowledged Juan.”
“I didn’t have a choice.” Rodolfo raised his voice. “Gracelia pushed that bastard on me and disappeared for a few years to spite me, I’m sure. To honor what your mother wanted, I kept both of you close and gave you everything I could. When you came to work for me I wanted to tell you, but it seemed too late.” He stopped behind his chair and looked him in the eye. “I can see my fear was valid and it’s too late, but even if you choose to hate me you’re entitled to what’s mine.”
“I could never hate you.” As he spoke he was sure he could never change this fact. “You had to know I idolized you and thought of you as a father.” He recalled all those trips Rodolfo took when he was a boy and the gifts he brought him. They had made him feel like Rodolfo cared for him, but it was still hard to fathom he had given them to him because he was his son.
“Maybe I don’t deserve it but I ask your forgiveness,” Rodolfo said.
“Knowing this,” Carlos had to stop to find the right word, “doesn’t change how I feel about you. But I need time to understand and come to terms with what you’ve told me.” He stood and began to leave.
Stopping him, Rodolfo said, “There’s one more thing before you go. Call Fausto and the others in.”
The suite he and Rodolfo shared was a few floors above the rooms where the men were staying, so it took a few minutes for them to file in. They stood in an almost perfectly straight line and looked nervously between them.
“Don’t worry,” Rodolfo said. “I don’t have more bad news, but I have news.” He stood next to Carlos and placed his hand on his shoulder, which Carlos allowed. “If something happens to me, I want you to respect my wishes and follow Carlos’s lead.”
The proclamation made Carlos turn his eyes to Rodolfo, and he didn’t move only because Rodolfo tightened his hold on him. Carlos seethed. Rodolfo couldn’t acknowledge his bastard even now.
“I ask this because Carlos is my son—not only in name, but by blood.”
“He’s your son?” Fausto asked, seeming to be the only one with the guts to ask.
Rodolfo repeated that he had wanted to protect Carlos, but a small part of Carlos believed he had acknowledged him because his time was running out and because Juan had rejected him. He couldn’t bring himself to smile as the men came to shake his hand in congratulations.
When they were alone, Rodolfo said, “Like I told you, I can’t force you, but please consider forgiving me.”
“Did you ever love my mother?”
“Your mother was as close as I came to taking a wife, but I wasn’t ready,” Rodolfo said, sitting again. “I always thought I would have time to settle down after I tasted what life could offer me, and without me realizing it, the years piled up.”
“So your answer is no,” he said, his anger growing.
“My answer is yes, but I was too stupid to realize how rare that is when it’s genuine, not bought or forced. I love your mother still because she gave me something precious.”
“What, a bastard who wasn’t good enough to deserve your name?” he yelled at him.
“No, a son my father would’ve been proud of, and that’s where Gracelia failed miserably.” Rodolfo flipped through the papers he’d given him and handed him one of the sheets. “As for your name, this is the correction I made with the authorities in Mexico.” The birth certificate now listed Rodolfo as his father. “You don’t have to, but I’ve arranged for you to take the Luis name. The people who matter in my organization know, and I ordered them to tell everyone who works for me, down to the harvesters. You mother and I thought it was safe for you to claim what’s yours.”
“Like I said, I’ll need time.” He left, wanting to get some fresh air and find someplace to call his mother. It wasn’t every day that the roadmap of your life was erased and redrawn. Rodolfo hadn’t asked if Carlos would accept the name change. Perhaps the Luis name and what Rodolfo felt it stood for would die with him, no matter when that was, because the name Santiago had served Carlos well so far.
*
“Is Remi back yet?” Dallas asked when they finished signing the contracts for her first starring role, scheduled to begin in a few months. She’d been interested in the part because she could relate to some of the character’s problems, but more importantly it was due to shoot in New Orleans. A local movie meant she’d be home with Remi every night.
“Her meetings got postponed, but she still hasn’t come in,” said Steve Palma, one of Remi’s partners, thumbing through the pages of what she’d just signed.
“She didn’t say why?” The screen of Dallas’s phone showed no messages.
Dwayne St. Germaine, Remi’s other partner, shook his head as he straightened one of the copies. “She didn’t leave a message.”
“Anything else, guys?” asked Angus Christian, her new manager. Both men shook their heads and watched her fool with her phone as if by checking all the message options, she could conjure up one from Remi. Because of all her secretiveness, she was starting t
o get paranoid about Remi pulling away from her, and she had to watch herself not to take it out on her lover.
“Do you want us to see if we can find her?” Steve asked.
“No, I’m sure she’s up to something with her father, and Mano was coming in for the day.” She lifted her eyes from the useless device in her hand. “Thanks, guys, I’m looking forward to going back to work.”
All of them stood before she did, and Emil stepped back in as Angus pulled out her chair for her. “Remi called,” he said to her softly. “If you’re finished here she said to call her back, but you can do it from the car so we can get going.”
“Is something wrong?” She waved over her shoulder and followed Emil out. “Why didn’t she call me?”
“She’s all right, and she told me not to bother you until your meeting was over since there was nothing you could do.” He opened the door and the car was parked a few feet away.
“Where is she?” The powerful engine of Emil’s sedan turned over and he stared at the gate. “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, I thought I saw something,” he said, shaking his head as he started them moving. “She’s at the hospital with Cain, but it’s Cain who was admitted.” He told her what he knew and entered the medical center through the parking garage to avoid the reporters stationed by the main entrance.
The elevators opened to the third floor and Dallas turned in the direction all the people at the nurses’ station were staring. She had to laugh at their obvious fascination with the bad girls who had landed on their ward. It never mattered to supposedly straitlaced, law-abiding men and women that Cain and Remi’s reputation deserved a wide berth. The more salacious the rumors, the more they were interested. She didn’t worry about the men, but the women were usually as beautiful as they were interested.
“Why does shit like this always turn into a circus?” Emil asked.
“Because people are always curious about what they don’t know about,” she said, picking up the pace when she saw Remi standing in the hall talking to Lou. Remi appeared to be engrossed in their conversation but looked her way before she could reach her. “How’s Cain?”
“The test results showed no bleeding so they put her on steroids to bring down any swelling and she’s confined to bed for the next three days,” Remi said, opening her arms to her. “You finish at the studio before you heard about this?”
“I’m all yours.” She was concerned about Cain but she wanted to enjoy the warmth of Remi’s body a little before going in for a visit. “Did anyone offer to give you a sponge bath while you were here?”
Remi laughed and she loved the rumbling vibrations as she pressed her ear to her chest. “Not yet, but I might get lucky on that score later.”
“Is it okay to go in?” Her ears got hot when Remi lowered her head and kissed her.
“Emma’s waiting for you,” Remi said, and kissed her again. “Let me finish up with Lou and I’ll join you.”
The room was large, and since it was the last one at the end of the ward it was fairly quiet. Cain had her eyes closed and her face was purple in places from bruises. Next to her Emma sat in a recliner and held Cain’s hand, but her eyes were open and she was smiling. Emma was starting to show and Dallas wondered if Remi wanted kids. She’d never considered having any because she’d essentially raised Kristen, even though their ages weren’t that far apart.
“Sit,” Emma said, pointing to the small sofa next to her.
“Is she going to be okay?”
“She tells me that hard heads are a Casey family trait, but I’d rather have it proved to me during a healthy debate of whether she should take vitamins.” Emma laughed but she kept her eyes on Cain’s chest as if to assure herself she was still breathing. “I’m sorry I had to cancel lunch today, but this happened this morning.”
“No need to apologize. I needed to talk to you about something,” she said, looking at their linked hands.
“I’ve got nothing but time now, and Cain will be out for a while. After we got here and they said she was fine, and I had my own checkup, she went to sleep.”
“The last thing you need now is to listen to all my problems. It can wait.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Emma said, gently releasing Cain’s hand so she could move closer. “I have an idea what’s bothering you, and I’d like to help.”
You can’t possibly know what’s bothering me, she thought, and suddenly felt she couldn’t share her story with anyone. “Really, it wasn’t that important.”
“Dallas, I hope you’ll be happy with Remi. You both deserve the joy that comes from finding the person who completes you.” Emma glanced back when Cain let out a small snore. “So what’s bothering you is either related to who Remi is—”
“It’s not that.”
“Let me finish,” Emma said, wagging her finger at her. “Or it has to do with who you are. Either way, doubts will eat away at you until it messes with all the wonderful things yet to come.”
Dallas folded her legs under her and stared at the floor. “Did you ever doubt?”
“I doubted Cain once, which led to me believing someone else instead of her.” The pain was evident in Emma’s voice even now. “It cost me years away from my son, which was painful, trust me, but my lack of faith almost lost me the love I couldn’t replace.” Emma put her hand on Dallas’s knee, forcing her to look up. “Let me help you not repeat my mistakes.”
Cain’s breathing was deep and even, and she seemed to be sleeping. Dallas thought this would be hard, but she didn’t feel like she could do it with Cain present. “The one thing I want is Remi,” she said, wiping her eyes in frustration that the tears could start so quickly. “Let’s wait for this, okay?”
“That night I saw the two of you walk into that restaurant to join us for dinner, I was thrilled for Remi,” Emma said, making her nod. “But I was thrilled for me too because I saw a friend and a woman who I could be myself with. The partners we’ve chosen make us members of an exclusive club, and I want to give you what Marianna Jatibon has given me.”
“I’m sure she was sorry Remi didn’t find you first.”
“Remi’s all yours, honey, and the sooner you put that boulder you’re carrying down, the sooner you can enjoy the peace that’ll bring you.”
She looked at Cain again before closing her eyes to clear her head. Her story started with what she remembered of her mother and the life they endured with Johnny. “She was only gone four days before he came to my room,” she said, covering her mouth with both hands to try and stifle the sob.
“Take your time,” Emma said, moving closer to her.
As she told the rest, she pretended it had happened to someone else. Her father had been a sadistic son of a bitch who hadn’t denied himself anything, though his daughter was on the receiving end of his depravity.
“I hated him, but I took it so he’d leave Kristen alone. That motivation actually kept me sane. One of us deserved to come through this without nightmares.”
Emma opened her arms and held Dallas as she cried. It was the first time she’d told anyone except Kristen, and she was overwhelmed that Emma didn’t turn away in disgust.
“What you endured wasn’t your fault, and if you share this story with Remi she’ll tell you the same thing,” Emma said, as she ran her hand in a circle on her back. “Is that what you’re worried about?”
“I’m not who she thinks I am, and she deserves better.”
“No, you should realize that your strength, because that’s what it took to overcome what you did, is exactly what she needs in a partner.” Emma released her to reach for a tissue to wipe her eyes. “How did you get out of there?”
Dallas tipped her head back and tried to blink away her tears. This was hard but she did feel lighter after sharing with Emma. “Johnny had a group of friends that were as cruel as he was, and when he started to get tired of me he decided it was okay to start sharing as long as there was something in it for him.”
“He di
d that?” Emma looked horrified. “Oh, Dallas, I’m so glad you had the guts to run.”
“When he told me what he had in mind, I was numb, but I also knew that if I wasn’t enough anymore, he would start the cycle again with my little sister.” She could still hear his tone of voice as he calmly explained how Timothy Pritchard would stop by and she should be nice to him if she knew what was good for her. “He has a still in the woods and it’s how he makes money, so he left me to start what I guess was another business venture.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” Emma said, since Dallas had whispered the last part so softly. “This bastard deserved to be shot even if he’s your father.”
“It was how he hugged Kristen and patted her bottom before he left that made me snap. That night he went to start the still for the season and told me to wait for Timothy. I decided to leave. When he started walking I packed what I could and took his can of money.”
“How old were you?”
“A couple of months shy of seventeen. Way too young to be out with a little sister in tow.”
“And you’re embarrassed telling this story?” Emma placed her palm on her cheek. “It’s amazing.”
“It’s more like white-trash-from-the-hills drama that’ll turn Marianna against me. I’m sure the last thing she wants for Remi is some hillbilly who was her father’s bed warmer.”
“Marianna will respect Remi’s choice, and you’re Remi’s choice.”
“I killed someone,” she blurted out.
“What…who?”
Sparta, Tennessee Eight Years Earlier
When she reached in the can for the money she was already shaking, and Kristen was crying behind her. Kristen didn’t want to stay, but she was terrified they’d get caught and of what the consequences would be. Dallas planned to run to the highway that headed west, but it was twenty miles and she didn’t drive. No matter—she had to try.
