If Hayden had found it difficult to sleep before, he found it damn near impossible wrapped in Gregory’s embrace, especially with the man’s hard cock pressed up against his ass. How the hell did he stay so hard while he slept? Hayden had been out of his mind with lust, his own cock begging for attention, but he’d ignored it…he had to. He needed to stop thinking of Gregory in an amorous way because no good could come of it.
“Hmm,” Gregory moaned in his sleep and pressed himself closer to Hayden’s back. Jesus, if the man wasn’t still hard. Hayden groaned, allowing himself to enjoy the embrace for a solitary moment, to delight in the contact, and wallow in the fantasy. But right before he made to pull out of Gregory’s arms, the man started to purr, the low rumble in his chest like music to Hayden’s ears. He could gladly listen to it for the rest of his days on earth. Hayden couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so contented that he’d purred. But Gregory made him want to, made him want a lot of things.
Lying in Gregory’s arms was torture. Hayden had to do something. He turned around to face Gregory but it didn’t rouse him from his slumber, so Hayden took a moment to study him. Jesus, he was beautiful. He looked so peaceful while he slept that Hayden very nearly left him that way, but they had to hit the road soon, and they had to get out of this damn bed before they did something Hayden was certain Gregory would regret.
“Gregory, wake up.”
Very slowly, Gregory opened his eyes. The second he met Hayden’s gaze, his mouth stretched into the widest smile Hayden had seen on the man yet. He waited for Gregory to awaken fully, to realise where he was and to push Hayden away, but of course he did the complete opposite of what Hayden expected. He was becoming used to Gregory doing the unexpected, which was ludicrous considering how long they’d known each other, but there it was.
Gregory tugged Hayden closer and pressed their lips together. The low rumble of a moan came from both their chests, as if in unison. Pushing his tongue inside, Gregory stole Hayden’s breath, the wet heat of his mouth wringing an even louder moan from his throat.
Hayden knew he should stop the kiss, but Gregory’s lips felt so perfect against his own, so…right, and when Gregory forced his mouth wider and pushed his tongue in further, deepening the kiss, Hayden let him. He couldn’t have stopped now if he wanted to, and he didn’t want to.
Firm hands slid down his back until they reached his ass and kneaded. Nimble fingers dug into his flesh and dragged him closer until their hard cocks came into contact. Gregory’s purring became louder, drowning out the sounds of their whimpers and moans. With a low, throaty growl, Gregory flipped them until he was lying on top of Hayden, pinning him to the mattress beneath his firm body, their bare chests pressed together, igniting a fire in Hayden’s stomach he never wanted put out. When Gregory started to rock, Hayden’s own hips lifted to meet each gentle thrust.
Closing his eyes, Hayden pressed his head back into the pillow and let himself get lost in the feeling of Gregory’s body grinding into his own. The closeness of their bodies made him happy. It filled his heart so full he thought it might burst clean out of his chest. He knew it was just lust. He was attracted to Gregory, but as their bodies moved together he dared to dream that it could be something more meaningful. Then Gregory ground harder against him and Hayden lost the ability to think at all. He needed to come so badly.
“Hayden, open your eyes.”
Gregory’s raspy voice pulled him from his reverie and he did as instructed. When he looked up, he saw that Gregory’s eyes and teeth had shifted to their cat form. There was something so incredibly erotic about Gregory losing control like that…for him—for Hayden—someone that most people couldn’t stand to look at. As their bodies continued the sensual dance Hayden felt his cat begin to stir. Even though he was so used to pushing it deep inside himself, he could sense its restlessness, was aware of it begging for the release denied to it for so long.
What could it hurt if he let him out to play for a while? He didn’t think his cat could be a danger to Gregory, didn’t think it possible any part of his being could hurt the man writhing above him…but then he couldn’t be sure, could he? And so he did the only thing he knew how. He tried to push his cat even further inside, tried to banish him to the deepest recesses of his being. He might have been successful if Gregory hadn’t leant down and mashed their lips together, stealing his breath along with his common sense, the slide of their wet tongues making him forget himself, making him forget what he had to do to keep his cat at bay.
If Hayden let himself go, if he gave himself over to Gregory and to the feelings that were becoming so powerful for the man above him, the inner battle that he’d fought for so long would be lost.
Gregory reached a hand between them, slid it into the front of Hayden’s boxers and grabbed hold of his rigid cock. When he began to stroke, to slide back the foreskin, gently at first and then with more pressure, Hayden wasn’t sure how much more he could take, how much longer he could hold out. He didn’t want to hold out. He needed this. His cat needed this.
“Let go, Hayden,” Gregory rasped. “Do it for me—give into it. Please.”
The pleading tone to Gregory’s request stripped away Hayden’s defences layer by agonising layer.
Gregory bent down and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling him, drinking in his scent like an addict taking a fix, and the groan that tore from his throat was ragged, primal. His tongue scraped deliciously up Hayden’s neck followed by a graze of teeth and the pressure of sucking lips and all the while Gregory kept stroking him, kept making his body want to fly apart. And then it did.
The pressure inside built and built until there was nothing left for it to do but erupt in a burst of light and feelings and emotions. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. Hayden’s cat burst through the walls he had constructed for himself. His cat rose to the surface, clawing desperately at his insides until it was finally free. Hayden’s incisors ripped from his gums, his eyes shifted, his claws tore from his fingers and a low hiss burst from his throat. But, while all the physical changes were altering his body, it was the things going on inside that stole the breath from Hayden’s lungs.
Gregory’s face seemed to glow so brightly from within it nearly blinded Hayden. His entire body filled with the light from it until there was no space for anything else. Tiny currents of electricity zapped him everywhere at once, and, Jesus, but that smile… The smile on Gregory’s face said everything, answered everything. It was a knowing smile, a triumphant smile. That smile was the last thing Hayden saw before a pleasure unlike any he’d experienced took over his body. And when he came he shouted out the only word it seemed he had left in his vocabulary.
“Mate!”
* * * *
Gregory had never been so happy. As he stared down at Hayden’s face, contorted with pleasure, and heard him scream out the word he’d been longing to hear since the moment they met, a rush of pure adrenaline surged through his body. It was like a tidal wave of pleasure threatening to drown him. He was certain it would embarrass him later, but as he spent himself in his briefs—still gripping Hayden’s overflowing cock and crying out his name—he didn’t care. Nothing mattered but the man beneath him. His mate.
When he finally stopped trembling, he opened his eyes and looked down at Hayden’s face. He wasn’t sure what he had hoped to see there, surprise maybe or happiness, even a small amount of fear, but the one thing he prayed not to find was regret. Relief unlike any he’d known coursed through his veins when he took in Hayden’s wide eyes and open mouth. There was definitely surprise etched on his face but beyond that was wonder, awe and a little incredulity.
“You’re… You’re…” Hayden couldn’t finish the sentence.
Gregory placed a hand under his mate’s chin and tilted it until their gazes locked. “I’m yours,” he said with conviction.
Hayden choked out a sob. “You knew,” he rasped. “All along you knew.”
Even though it hadn’t been a question, Greg
ory answered with a nod.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss on Hayden’s lips. “Can you honestly say you would have believed something like that without feeling it, without experiencing it for yourself?”
“I don’t know,” Hayden said quietly. He seemed to think about it for a moment before continuing. “I guess not.”
“I didn’t think so. It was something you had to find out for yourself.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The words were spoken so quietly Gregory had to bend lower to hear them, and when he let them wash over him, he didn’t like them.
His reply stuck in his throat but he choked it out. “What are you sorry for?”
Hayden rolled out from underneath Gregory and sat on the edge of the bed, covering his face with his hands. He scrubbed them roughly over his eyes then got up and headed to the bathroom. Gregory thought he wasn’t going to get a reply but then Hayden stopped just inside the door and turned to look at him, his eyes full of sadness and pain.
“I’m sorry you got landed with me for a mate. Someone like you deserves better than someone like me.”
Before Gregory could argue or refute or even shout at his mate for being so goddamn stupid, Hayden disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door, signalling the end of that particular topic.
The hell it was.
Gregory fell back on the bed and tried to gather his thoughts, to calm some of the anger building inside. Had Hayden’s parents throwing him out made him feel that worthless, or had something else happened since? Was it because of his scar? Gregory knew there was a story behind the scar, but he couldn’t force it out of Hayden. His mate had to want to tell him.
Whatever the cause, Gregory was determined to get to the bottom of it. If it took him the rest of his life, he would show Hayden how precious he was, how invaluable. He would make him realise he was someone that deserved to be cherished…to be loved.
* * * *
The ride back to Texas had been difficult for Gregory. A stony, uncomfortable silence had filled the car and every time he’d glanced at Hayden, his mate had been staring out of the passenger window, chewing on his bottom lip. Gregory had made a few feeble attempts to lighten the mood and to involve Hayden in a conversation about the Crazy Horse and some of the people that worked there, but for the most part Hayden had replied with one-word answers and offered nothing in return.
The mating bond was something that shifters revered, something they cherished, but Hayden was acting as though it was the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. His indifference to their bond made Gregory’s heart ache. Didn’t he realise how good they could be together? Didn’t he care? Since Hayden had emerged from the bathroom that morning his cat been absent, shoved back into his hiding place, and now Gregory wasn’t even sure if his mate could feel their bond anymore. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things. Hayden was a mystery, and he wasn’t forthcoming with any clues.
When the journey was nearly at an end, about five minutes from the Crazy Horse, Gregory decided to question Hayden because the not knowing was killing him. They probably wouldn’t get the chance to talk when they arrived at the ranch and then he’d have to report to the council, so their talk had to happen now.
“Aren’t you happy we found each other?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at his mate. Hayden shrugged.
“That’s not an answer!” Gregory snapped. “Is it me? Are you sorry your bond is with me? Don’t you like me?”
“I like you,” Hayden said quietly. “I just don’t get how you could like me. Let’s be honest here—if it wasn’t for our bond, you wouldn’t have given me a second look.”
Gregory lost it. “Don’t fucking tell me what I would or wouldn’t have done, Hayden! You don’t even know me! For your information, I watched you for three goddamn days in Las Vegas when I should have picked you up because I was mesmerised by you, couldn’t take my eyes off you, and that was before I got anywhere near you and knew anything about our damn bond!”
“Is that true?” Hayden whispered, eyes wide with surprise.
Gregory placed a hand on Hayden’s knee and squeezed. “Yes, it’s true. I wouldn’t lie about something like that. You intrigued me, and, damn, but I thought you were beautiful. Still do. And before you say anything, I didn’t even notice your damn scar. Are you ready to tell me how you got it?”
Gregory didn’t need to be looking at Hayden to tell that his entire body had stiffened.
“I can’t talk about it, I’m sorry.”
Gregory sighed. He didn’t want to have this conversation while he was driving, so he pulled over on a quiet road just before they reached the lane that led to Kelan’s ranch. When he switched off the engine, he reached out and took hold of Hayden’s hand. It felt small in his, but fit perfectly nonetheless.
“You know there’s nothing you can’t tell me, right? There is not a single thing you could say that could make me think any less of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Hayden snorted. “That’s bullshit. I could tell you a ton of things that would not only make you think less of me—they would make you hate me.”
“No, Hayden, you’re wrong.”
“Am I? Do you know what I did to survive when my parents kicked me out, huh? Shall I tell you, Gregory?” The anger radiating from Hayden crackled in the air between them. “Fine! If you want to know so goddamn much, I’ll tell you exactly what I did. I—”
“Hayden—” Gregory interrupted.
“Sold m—”
“Hayden!” Gregory’s voice boomed out in the enclosed space and Hayden snapped his mouth shut.
“I know,” Gregory said, lowering his voice and staring into Hayden’s eyes. “I know what you did.”
“What? How do you know?”
“Your records at the council. I read them before I came to Vegas to pick you up. They said you’d been arrested twice for solicitation.”
Hayden’s gaze fell to his lap and his cheeks filled with colour. “And you still want me?”
Gregory sighed. “Hayden, you did what you had to do to survive. I don’t blame you for that. But it’s in the past. It’s not who you are today.”
A tear escaped Hayden’s eye and trickled down the line of his scar. Gregory wiped it away with his thumb then leaned over and pressed his lips gently to the spot. Hayden gasped and tried to move his head but Gregory wouldn’t let him. He grabbed it firmly and trailed his lips from the top of the scar, just below his eye, to the bottom, above his lips.
A low moan tore from Hayden’s chest and he turned his head so that their mouths pressed together lightly.
“I don’t deserve you,” Hayden said against his lips.
“You deserve far more than I can ever give you,” Gregory replied. “But I promise I’ll try to give you everything you could ever want.”
Hayden started crying in earnest then, great heaving sobs that wouldn’t seem to abate. Gregory wrapped Hayden in his arms and held him, rocking him gently until he’d cried the last of his tears and finally grew quiet. Gregory pulled back to take a look at his mate’s face and the pain and guilt all present brought a lump to his throat. When Hayden next met his gaze he looked resigned.
“I need to tell you,” he whispered. His voice, though quiet, was rough and raw with emotion. “I can’t hide it any more. I have to tell you the truth. I’ll understand if you never want anything to do with me again.”
Gregory held the back of Hayden’s head and looked him square in the eyes. “You can tell me—I promise I won’t judge you. There’s nothing you could say that would make me want to give you up.”
Hayden opened his mouth several times before he finally found the courage to speak. “I’m a murderer,” he said at last. “I’ve killed people.”
Chapter Five
Taking in a steadying breath, Hayden kept his eyes on Gregory’s face even though he was terrified of the reproach and re
jection he might see there. He should have known better. Gregory didn’t flinch. His hand stroked the back of Hayden’s head gently, sending shivers down his spine. There was no accusation in Gregory’s eyes, only curiosity.
“I might not have known you for very long, but I don’t believe you would have done something like that except in self-defence. Is that what happened? Did someone try to hurt you?”
Hayden’s voice sounded distant when he next spoke. “Yes.”
Gregory sighed and kept up the soothing strokes to the back of his head. “Is that what you’ve been keeping inside for so long? The reason you won’t shift. Is it out of guilt?”
Hayden’s first instinct was to protest but he’d come this far and knew he had to go on. “Yes, in part.”
“Tell me what happened?”
Hayden nodded. Gregory knew what he’d done now—all that remained were the details. Hayden had never told his secret to another living soul, and although it had been difficult to say the words, it was a relief to finally get them off his chest. He didn’t want Gregory’s pity, he didn’t want absolution. He just needed to be able to share the burden of his secret, which had become too heavy for him to carry alone.
“About three years ago, I was drifting, moving around from place to place. I never spent longer than a week or so in each town or city back then. I always preferred cities because, with a larger amount of people, it was easier to get lost in the crowd.
“I’d spent some time out east, but I didn’t like it there so I was making my way back to California when I got a lift to Des Moines with a trucker.”
“What was his name?”
“Ramon,” Hayden managed to say. “Ramon Lopez.”
Gregory stroked Hayden’s face with a whisper-light caress and, for the first time, Hayden didn’t flinch when Gregory’s fingers ghosted over his scar. He barely noticed, too lost in the painful memory.
Gregory's Rebellion Page 6
