by Sera, Drew
Matt was quiet now and was looking out over the peaceful greens of the golf course. I didn’t say anything else and looked over at Matt. In looking back on this afternoon, I was disturbed at the fact that I had allowed emotions to get the best of me. Things were quiet for a minute as if Matt was planning his response. He didn’t look at me but kept gazing out over the greens. Sometimes I think he uses his counseling training tactics on me. And his dad is a psychologist, so he was around that all while growing up.
“Do you wonder why that is? Why you got angry? Seems to me you are very caught up with this girl. You and Anthony have been going on about her since she started there. What is it about this girl?”
Time for me to lay the cards out on the table with Matt.
“I agree with you. There has been something about her. From day one, I’ve been drawn to her and want to protect her from everything. She seems so fragile.”
I heard him laugh a little and then he put his hands behind his head.
“Ah yes, the fragile kitten.” I smiled and looked away. “Colin, this girl has you in knots. You’re concerned over her safety and you of all people should realize that you just need to talk to her. Ask her about her wrist and then go from there.”
He stood and undid his bow tie. We walked towards the patio door and I asked him what Anthony told him.
“Nothing. I didn’t know you and him had a disagreement.”
Of course. I had been so paranoid and caught up in Sydney, that I feared Anthony was going to run and tell Matt. I need to get my head screwed on right.
I still hadn’t been able to talk to him though and needed to. The only people left were Blake, Cathy and Anthony. Anthony was in the kitchen talking to Blake when I went looking for them. Cathy and Blake thanked me for hosting the party and headed out after that, leaving Anthony and I. When I got back to the kitchen he was sitting at the breakfast bar and had shed his jacket and bow tie and was nibbling on some peanuts.
“Anth, I’m sorry about this afternoon. I’m worried about her but I know it’s not an excuse. I’m sorry, man.”
Anthony was frowning at me as I spoke and he raised his eyebrows at me when I finished.
“I thought we were done with that this afternoon? I told you it was fine. And for what it’s worth, I’m worried about her too. I didn’t see the arm, but you did. You’re calm and knowledgeable. And if you’re bothered and worried about it, then it’s probably warranted.”
I stood leaning on the kitchen counter in silence. Sydney invaded my thoughts again. Anthony stayed for a bit longer and helped me finish some desserts before he left.
“So, since you’re still talking to me, I’m assuming we’re still on for tomorrow?” I asked him cautiously.
Matt, Anthony and I are die-hard 49ers fans. Every Sunday, they come over for the game. We’ve been doing it for years. We each have our own football jersey with our last names on them and Matt got one for Gina that says “Reid’s” on the back.
Anthony nodded his confirmation that he’d be over tomorrow. At least when I close my eyes tonight, I’ll only have one worry on my mind. Sydney.
Chapter 7
Sunday, October 6th
Colin
I woke up early Sunday morning and went for a jog, hoping it would clear up my mind. I was still fixated on Sydney’s wrist, of course. No rigorous workout could push that sore looking wrist from my mind.
The guys and Gina came over about a half hour before game time and I made it a point not to bring up Sydney, though that’s where my mind was. We talked football and ate junk food during the game. I had kept my cell phone out and every so often would check it to see if by chance Sydney called or sent me a text. Anthony knew what I was doing but didn’t bring attention to it.
“Talk to that girl tomorrow, Col. You’re driving yourself crazy,” Matt said as he and Gina left after the game.
They were right. I just needed to pull her aside and ask her what happened. It wasn’t quite 8:00 p.m. and the weather was still decent out so I decided to go sit in the spa for a while. When I came back in, it was nearing 9:00 p.m. and I glanced at my phone. I stared at it a few times to make sure I was reading the display correctly.
1 Missed Call: Sydney Burke
Dammit. Why the hell didn’t I take my cell outside with me? There wasn’t a voice mail message. I called her back and it just rang until it finally went to her voice mail. I didn’t leave a message though. I called Anthony to see if maybe she called him when she couldn’t get hold of me but she hadn’t called him. I kept the phone on the nightstand for the rest of the night just in case.
Chapter 8
Sunday, October 6th
Sydney
I wasn’t feeling well and thought that it was probably the side effects to the pills Howard made me take. I hate it when he does that. I have no room to argue though, especially when I’ve disappointed him.
My stomach hurt badly and I curled up on my couch waiting for it to subside. I didn’t know if my stomach hurt because of the pills or from being kicked. Howard likes to kick. He kicks me when he says that I don’t deserve to be touched by his hands.
I looked at the bag of M&M’s next to my phone on the counter. I picked up my phone and Mr. Everett’s card from Club Irons. I thought about calling him to see if he’d answer. I had no idea what to say to him. I couldn’t believe they were both Doms. I thought that if I was able to reach him, that maybe I could ask for some pointers on being a better sub or maybe he’d know what I was doing so wrong with Howard. After all, he was a trainer at Club Irons. From what I knew of the club, it was known for an upscale clientele and you had to have an “in” for membership.
Both Mr. Everett and Mr. Graves were Masters there and obviously knew what they were doing. As I thought about the two of them, it made perfect sense that they were both Doms. They both exuded power and commanded respect without even saying a word. But they were also both very approachable and were friendly. I don’t take them as being marshmallows though. I think if provoked they could cause havoc.
My hand shook as I dialed his number. As it rang, I felt sick to my stomach and hung the phone up just in time before I threw up. I decided that the bathroom was a good place for me to rest my head for a while.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about Mr. Everett and Mr. Graves and how kind they were when they talked to me on Friday.
I bet they’re nice Doms.
Maybe.
No, I bet they were.
Chapter 9
Monday, October 7th
Colin
Anthony and I sat sipping our coffee at our usual table at Beans on Monday morning while we waited for Sydney to appear. We were playing the roles of obsessive junior high boys trying to catch a glimpse of the cute girl arriving for class. I knew she came in at 8:00, but when 8:30 rolled around, Anthony and I went over to the main reception desk to see if anyone had heard anything. As usual, Anthony and I were greeted quickly and with smiling faces. I decided to talk directly to Janice.
“Have you seen Sydney this morning?”
“She’s out sick today, Mr. Everett.”
I felt like a bucket of ice was dumped over my head and turned to see Anthony within hearing distance. His forehead was creased with concern. I turned back to face Janice.
“Did you actually speak with her?”
“Yes, dear. She sounded congested. You know how the wind is around here and the dust.”
I nodded, thanked Janice and then Anthony and I made our way up to the tenth floor. He knew that I was worried about Sydney and he didn’t dare joke with me. Crazy things started going through my mind, like calling her or driving over to her place. I felt out of control and I’m rarely out of control.
Chapter 10
Tuesday, October 8th
Colin
Tuesday morning found Anthony and I sitting at Beans again. I had to see Sydney to make sure she was okay and I needed to talk to her about her wrist. I looked down at my phone and was
checking emails when Anthony kicked my foot to get my attention.
“Lookie, lookie. Fragile kitten is here.”
I turned my head towards the front entrance in time to see our fragile kitten approach the glass doors as relief flooded through me. Just as I had asked Anthony if he had seen if she had been dropped off, a huge bus pulled away from the curb. Damn, Sydney takes the bus. I didn’t want her to have to take the bus, but I didn’t want some guy bringing her either.
She struggled to open the heavy front doors and had her arms wrapped around her as she made her way over to her desk. She looked pale and tired. She wore a light jacket, black pants and a light blue cable knit sweater. It was breezy out today and I’d imagine waiting for a bus and then walking to and from the bus stop would be cooler. My phone went off alerting me of a text.
AG: She takes the bus, Col.
I smirked and rolled my eyes at him.
“Very observant, Anth.”
At least he and I were back on joking terms. I looked back over at Sydney and watched her pull her arms gingerly out of her jacket and set it on the back of her chair. Janice went over to her and they began talking. I got up and headed right over to the reception counter without saying anything to Anthony. My phone chirped with another text.
AG: Talk to the girl.
By the time I had reached the reception desk Sydney had sat down and was looking over a document. Her messenger bag sat on her desk next to her lunch bag and a bag of M&M’s, of course. Her lunch bag looked like it had been used several times and her messenger bag looked worn. I began looking at her clothes more closely. The sweater looked warm but was pilling in places and her jacket looked like it had seen better days. I frowned the second I noticed how pale she looked and had bags under her eyes.
Sydney was getting settled when I set my phone down on the counter and folded my hands next to it. She looked up and that sweet shade of pink appeared on her pale cheeks. The dark circles looked darker up close than they had appeared a few minutes ago. She really looked like she had been under the weather.
“Mr. Everett.” She stood and straightened out her sweater around her tiny waist, a nervous habit I’ve grown to see from her. “How may I help you?”
“Walk with me.” I backed up away from the desk letting her know that I fully expected her to follow me.
I flipped my cell phone over to silent and slipped it in my suit jacket while I waited for her. I saw her talking to Katie, one of the other Openin girls. Katie’s eyes were wide and she had a smile on her face and was mouthing for Sydney to “go.”
Sydney came around the reception desk and stood in front of me with her fingers knitted together. I took in the sight of her and realized I had never seen blue eyes that shade of blue. They were a deep, dark blue. I took a deep breath and inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla. She must use something that has vanilla in it.
It was nice and sunny out and I knew she liked the courtyard, so that’s where I headed with her. I led her over to the bench she occupied with Anthony and I on Friday and we sat down. I took note of her nervous mannerisms during our silence. She was playing with her fingers bending them backwards and pulling on them.
“How are you feeling?”
What the fuck, was that the best I could come up with? I’ve been on pins and needles since Friday and the first thing out of my mouth sounds like small talk. It seemed to calm her though because I noticed her posture relaxed some and she smiled a little.
“Better, thank you. I had a stomach bug, but I think it’s gone. Thank you for asking.”
I glanced down at her arms that were now securely wrapped around her stomach. The tone in her voice let me know that she was surprised that anyone would ask or care how she was doing. The thought made me that much more curious about her.
“Sydney, I saw that you called my cell Sunday night but didn’t leave a message. I had been outside and didn’t take my phone with me. Was everything okay?”
She looked at me and then down to the ground for a few moments. Silence definitely makes her uneasy. I was going to wait her out though. Okay, maybe I wasn’t. I didn’t want her afraid to reach out to me.
“It’s okay, Sydney. I’m not angry. I told you to call me but you didn’t leave a message and I…” was worried about you! I had been since Friday! I swallowed hard to regain my composure. “I tried to call you back, but you didn’t answer. I wanted to make sure that everything was okay.”
Fuck, I can only imagine if I had rattled off how obsessively concerned I had been over her. She’d think I was a basket case. She sat quietly but her knee began to bounce nervously.
“Sydney, look at me.” I kept my tone soft so she wouldn't feel afraid.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Everett. I was trying to reach a friend of mine but accidentally hit your name instead. That’s why I didn’t leave a message.”
I stared in those deep blue eyes of hers and searched. I was pretty sure she was lying but I wasn’t going to call her on that at work and upset her. I just nodded and decided to try a different approach with her. A more honest and direct approach that I should have done from the beginning.
“Sydney, last Friday morning, I know that you know I saw your wrist.”
Now the bouncing knee picked up the pace and I saw her swallow. She refused to look at me. I looked down at her covered arms and wondered what else lurked under the sweater that might be a cause for concern.
My eyes searched hers out when I heard her sniffle. Her eyes were watering and some tears slipped down her cheek that she quickly tried to catch. I was faster though and gently brushed my thumb over her cheek. While it was my gut reaction, it may not have been my smartest move with the fragile kitten. She pulled away from me and tucked her cheek into her shoulder. Her shoulders were tense and she was sheltering her face from me. Dammit!
“Look at me, Sydney.”
When she looked up, I saw an ocean of sadness and fear. What was she afraid of? Normally I can get in the minds of subs while I’m training them and can dig a little deeper to work on potential issues. But Sydney was a little more difficult. Especially since we were at work.
I reached over and took her right hand and set it on my open palm. I slowly raised the sleeve to expose what she had been hiding. As I continued to look at this wound, I realized how bad it was. She tugged her hand back towards her body and I heard a tiny whimper. I let go of her and watched her retreat to herself. This wasn’t a birthmark. This was an injury. My heart began to pound and I willed myself to make my voice sound as calm as possible.
“When did it happen?” Again I kept my tone soft and calm and it took what seemed like forever, but she finally answered.
“A while ago.”
Great, now I was pulling vague answers out of her. But at least she was talking to me and not running away.
“Sydney, how did it happen?”
She was shaking her head and sniffling.
“I was doing something stupid.”
I froze on the spot and sat staring at her. I had heard this line before. I had to calm her though because her breathing was getting erratic and now she was clutching her sweater around her abdomen.
“Mr. Everett…”
Her words came out sounding shaky, weak and full of need. I moved a bit closer and turned my body to face her. How had this conversation gone so far out of my reach?
“Calm down and breathe, Sydney. Eyes on me…breathe in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. Good, again.”
She mirrored my breathing and was able to calm down. I figured out that she was at the beginning stages of a panic attack. Being a trainer at Irons, I had seen a few panic attacks in my time so I knew what they looked like. Once her breathing returned to normal, I realized whatever the story was with her wrist, upset her to the verge of a panic attack.
“Better?” I gave her a moment to gather herself and nod. “Let me get you some water.”
“Mr. Everett, please. I…I need to get back to my desk. I was out y
esterday and I can’t lose my job. Please.”
Those pleading, blue eyes did me in and I nodded at her. She was submissive enough that she didn’t dare move without my approval. Even though I wasn’t her Dom, the fact that she stayed where she was at didn’t escape my notice.
“Thank you, sir.”
She stood and started to make her way inside when I called over to her. “Remember Sydney, you know where I’m at.”
She nodded and went inside. I sat there for a few minutes and tried to sort out my thoughts. She had been hurt. This I was certain of. She was afraid and what terrified me now was the thought that she might be afraid of me or try to avoid me.
I glanced at my watch. Damn, it was almost 9:00 a.m. On my way to my office, I stopped at reception to check on Sydney. While I didn’t want to cause a scene, I had to check on her. It wasn’t right for me to upset her and then not at least check on her. As I approached the reception desk I saw that Sydney wasn’t at her desk but Katie’s eyes were staring at me. I went over and asked Katie where Sydney was.
“She’s in the bathroom. I don’t think she’s over her flu bug. Janice suggested that she go home and rest.”
Katie’s eyes diverted over my shoulder and I turned to see Sydney coming out of the bathroom. She looked sick. She was pale and had perspiration on her forehead and her eyes were red and puffy.
She stopped a few feet away from me and then made her way over to her desk. She began making adjustments to her desk with pens and her notepads. These were nervous reactions and were coping mechanisms. My heart went out to her. She was a mess and needed a strong Dom to help her overcome her lack of confidence and work with her on those nervous ticks. And sort out whatever the fuck she was scared of.
“Sydney, maybe you should take the rest of the day off and rest.”
“Mr. Everett, I need to work, sir. I’m fine.”
She was falling apart in front of my eyes. I had to leave her alone so she could gather herself. I seemed to be making things worse right now.
