by Sera, Drew
He makes my stomach feel funny when he looks and winks at me. It’s an odd feeling and is different for me. I like it though. He gives off this protective bubble and I felt so safe walking to his car with him.
Every now and then I'd sneak a peak at Anthony while he drove. His eyes were something else. They were the color of fog and it seemed fitting for such a mysterious guy. They were gorgeous and dangerous looking at the same time. He seemed so confident and as if nothing could ever bother him. When he’d look at me it made my stomach feel like it was falling. As he drove I’d look at him out of the corner of my eye to check out his face. At stoplights he’d look over at me and those gray eyes would pin me to his seat. They were eyes that I could get lost in and tune out the world. He was very strong looking and masculine. I noticed his nice sized arms through his blazer. I bet he could hold his own against Howard.
He smelled ridiculously good too. I have no idea what it is, but it was a spicy, sexy scent. As I sat there in his BMW I realized exactly how far out of my league he was from me. I caught a glimpse of his watch when he adjusted the vents and it looked expensive. I don't know what kind it was but he didn’t strike me as a cheap watch guy. Anthony Graves wasn’t just a guy; he was a hot, powerful man. And I stuck out like a sore thumb in his car.
He was nice to me though and didn’t treat me as if I were below him. Which, I most certainly am. As we passed the houses in Colin’s neighborhood on the way to his place, I felt about an inch tall. Then I saw the cars in the driveway. I didn’t even have a car and these people had really, really nice cars. Hopefully his friends wouldn’t see me as the misfit I am. I thought I was doing okay until Anthony pointed out that the owner of Irons was here tonight. Oh my God. I totally don’t belong here.
I know there will be hell to pay with Howard. Saturday nights are his to do with me as he sees fit. Only I won’t be home tonight when he comes over. Still, it will be worth it to see what it’s like in Colin’s world of BDSM and his friends.
Chapter 21
Saturday, October 19th
Colin
I heard the front door and excused myself from my guests and hurried to the entryway. I was excited to have Sydney here with my friends. When I reached the entryway, Anthony was hanging up Sydney’s jacket and then hung up his blazer as she set her purse on the entry table. She looked adorably sexy in jeans and a white top. She smiled as I approached.
“Welcome, Sydney. I'm glad that you made it. I hope Anthony’s driving didn’t scare you.”
I playfully made a jab at Anthony, knowing that he could take it and hopefully it’d relax Sydney. Anthony quickly moved to put his hand on my upper back and pretended to punch me in the stomach. I slapped his upper arm as a gesture for Sydney to see that it was a relaxed atmosphere. Anthony gave my back a few firm slaps and both of us looked over at Sydney as she spoke.
“It was fine, really.” She laughed and Anthony and I shared a glance. There was something about this girl and her laugh did something to me.
He walked ahead and went to join the others while I hung back and reminded Sydney that she could let Anthony or I know when she wanted to leave. We finally made it to the kitchen where Matt and Gina were helping themselves to some food I had out on the island. I guided Sydney towards them as Matt and Gina both looked up and greeted us.
Anthony had gone straight outside to the patio and was sitting next to Blake and I noticed that Sydney’s gaze followed him. Anthony and Blake have known each other a little longer than I’ve known Anthony. They had a solid, unconditional supportive friendship, as did Anthony, Matt and I. But Blake and Anthony’s friendship was a little different though. Blake was Anthony’s mentor when Anthony was entering the lifestyle in his early twenties and is somewhat protective of him. I turned my attention back to the present.
“Sydney, this is Matt and his wife and sub, Gina. Matt and I have been friends since before we were born. Our dad’s worked together.”
Matt reached across the island and shook her hand gently. I knew he remembered about her wrist and I could immediately tell he liked her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sydney. We’re glad you could make it,” Matt said and Gina followed suit.
Sydney didn’t shy away from Matt or Gina at all and seemed to feel comfortable in their company. And it might have been because she knew that I have known Matt my whole life and trusted him.
“I’m going to introduce her to everyone else,” I told Matt as I headed over to the door with Sydney by my side.
I guided her outside to the patio and the conversations died down. Blake was the closest and stood offering his hand. I introduced her to everyone and could see from the reactions of Seth, Evan and Will that they were instantly more than willing to make the evening pleasant for Sydney. While introductions were going around, I couldn’t help but notice she seemed shy around the guys. She shook each of their hands and then retreated back beside me. All the guys had been gentle when they took her hand. Anthony hadn’t taken his eyes off her and I noticed that she was looking at him now. He was keeping an eye on her trying to detect any unease.
“I’m going to show her around,” I said to no one in particular as she and I headed back inside.
I started out of the kitchen and noticed she was eyeing the food as he passed. What the fuck was wrong with me? I hadn’t even offered her anything. I need to slow the fuck down.
“Sydney, would you like something to eat and drink?”
She looked up at me and nodded while smiling. Gina was heading over towards the table with Matt and handed Sydney and I plates. I hoped we’d have the opportunity for Gina and Sydney to become friends. Gina hadn’t really clicked with any other subs at Irons and I know Matt wished she had a good friend.
I was pretty sure that Matt and Gina were going to go outside to eat but then offered to sit inside and eat with us once they saw that Sydney and I were going to get some food. Matt probably thought that inside and with a smaller number of people around that Sydney would do better for the time being.
I watched Sydney carefully select food while I put stuff on my plate. While I put random things on my plate, Sydney spent some time looking at her options before selecting something. I was much more interested in watching Sydney and could have cared less about the finger foods I ended up with. She added a small half sandwich and some chips and she spooned out some M&M’s on her plate. I was glad that I picked up a few bags for the party. I knew she loved them. She followed me over to the table and sat down across from Matt and I set my stuff down at the head of the table before offering her a drink. Like Anthony, she took a Coke.
“So you work at the Openin Corporation, right? How do you like it?”
Good, Matt was trying for easy conversation. Sydney was scarfing down the sandwich, trying to chew and swallow quickly in order to answer Matt.
“Um, I really like it. I’ve been there since the start of the year and everyone is so friendly. I really like my job there.”
“It’s a nice building. That atrium is incredible,” Matt added.
“Yes, I love the waterfall and eat lunch near it, unless it’s really nice outside. The courtyard is nice too.”
Sydney had set her hand to rest on the table next to her soda and continued to eat her food and chat with Matt and Gina. I could tell that this was probably her dinner and that she was hungry the way she scarfed down the small sandwich. I could see the faintest hint of her scar peeking out from her right sleeve and looked up at Matt. I glanced down to her wrist making sure he followed my gaze. Sydney looked up at him and saw that he was looking at her arm. She didn’t say anything but she quickly pulled her arm off the table and set both hands in her lap under the table. Fuck. We made her feel uncomfortable. I saw the panic begin to set in and could tell that her breathing rate had increased and her knee started to bounce. I knew Matt felt bad about it as did I. Sydney was looking outside and then back down to her plate.
Evan came in and sat down next to Gina. I knew
he took that seat to gaze upon Sydney and try to engage in conversation. Things had taken a turn though and I knew she was uneasy. Sydney kept looking outside and I realized she was looking for Anthony. She obviously felt some level of comfort with him. I wasn’t going to leave her in here to go find him but I leaned back in my chair and made eye contact with Blake on the patio. He pointed towards the group of guys by the fire pit questioningly and I nodded. I knew he’d send Anthony in.
Matt started talking to Evan about golf and asking him when he was going to take a stab at it. I was glad he changed the subject. Moments later Anthony came inside and took up the seat to Sydney’s right. He sat sideways facing Sydney and had his arm draped over the back of her chair. He grabbed a chip off her plate and winked at her when she looked up at him.
“Better finish your chips, sunshine…before I eat them all.”
Sunshine? It was like watching a smooth, calm come over Sydney. She relaxed the second he sat down and then she even smiled. Anthony and I joined in on the golf conversation and let Sydney settle. I was thrilled to see Sydney respond this way to Anthony. Once Anthony and Matt started comparing who was better at golf, Sydney began laughing along at Anthony’s notion of being better than Matt. Anthony’s presence had calmed her and even made her laugh. I decided now was a good time to pull Sydney away and let her breathe some and show her around.
“I’m sorry if so many people all at once made you uneasy, Sydney.”
“No need to apologize. I’m the new person to the party. People are just trying to get to know me. It’s ok. I’m fine.”
I hadn’t expected that answer. I was expecting more of a shy nod followed by her eyes looking towards the ground.
She and I walked through the great room and then down the hall. My den was at the end of the hall but before that, on the left was the guest room where subs or a D/s couple would stay while I worked with them. Opposite the guest room was my playroom. I pointed it out, but didn’t take her inside. We stood in the doorway and she glanced in. She nodded and didn’t seem shocked by it. I opened the door to the guest room and she walked in.
“This is where a sub or a couple will stay if I’m helping them out. It makes it easier. They have their own master bathroom, bedroom and sitting room.”
I walked quietly behind her as she roamed through the guest quarters and took it all in. She sat down on the ottoman in the sitting room and continued to look around. She looked perfect right there.
“Matt and Gina...you helped them?”
Excitement raced through me, as I was eager to answer anything she asked about the lifestyle. I nodded and sat down on the chair behind the ottoman. Our knees just about touched and I felt the familiar pull drawing me in.
“Yes, Matt and Gina stayed her for a number of weeks. Gina was used to playing in the darker sides of the lifestyle. She had a lot of misconceptions about the lifestyle and it created a lot of issues for her and Matt. Matt asked me for help. Before Matt, Gina was curious about the lifestyle and got in a little too deep with the wrong people.”
Sydney was looking up at me and was hanging onto each word I was saying. I wanted to see where her level of experience was at but I wanted to continue to talk about Matt and Gina with her.
“Gina would come to Irons on guest night and would play mostly with experienced Doms. One evening she played with a Dom who enjoyed breath play. It took a bad turn though and Blake ended guest night after that incident.”
I leaned forward and let my elbows and forearms rest on my knees as I looked in her eyes. She didn’t back away or flinch at all. Brave, fragile kitten. I wanted her to know that it was common for curious people to get mixed up with the crowd that might not have their best interests at heart. Using Gina as that example was a perfect way to make my point.
“Do you know what subspace is, Sydney?” She nodded and I went along with her admission. “Gina and Matt are so deeply rooted and connected that Gina reaches subspace easily when they play. Do you know what sub-drop is?”
“No.”
I nodded. Thankfully she didn’t know what that was.
“Think of it like depression. It’s coming off of that high from subspace. You know, you've just had a great scene; things are looking up and can’t seem to get any better. And then you crash. Sometimes it’s close after the scene and sometimes it’s days later. Gina would suffer sub-drop and it would cause Matt a lot of stress and heartache. He worried about her. We worked on it and Matt knows how to detect some signs and symptoms with Gina and knows how to combat it. Turns out Gina just needed extra aftercare. They are doing fine now though.”
Sydney blinked a few times when I mentioned aftercare. Which set off a warning bell to me. Was she curious as to what Matt now did that made such a difference or was she questioning aftercare in general? This information I needed. But the way she looked at me with that frown scared me.
“Maybe you’ve heard it called something different. But it’s when a Dom spends the time with the sub after a scene to care for them and tend to any needs they may have.”
I paused, waiting for her to jump in and say that she knew what I was talking about. Only that never came. She swallowed hard and looked away when I’m sure my frown made it's appearance. Oh holy fuck. She not only didn’t know about aftercare but obviously never experienced it. Who the fuck was she playing and scening with?
“Sydney, you don't know what that is, do you?”
She didn’t answer me, but then again she didn't have to. Her knee began to bounce nervously and she looked down at the ground.
“Eyes, Sydney.”
Her navy blue eyes shot up and met mine and I couldn’t help but notice that they looked watery.
“Aftercare is a very basic thing in this lifestyle. It’s a necessity. After a sub gives her Dom everything in a scene, he takes care of her afterwards. Sometimes it’s something simple as just sitting with her on a couch, cuddled up.” I paused because I swear she shuddered when I said the word cuddled. I’d come back to that again but I continued. “Sometimes it’s just tending to a cut she may have received during the scene, rubbing out a sore muscle or he’ll apply lotion to a spanked bottom. It’s a tender time. Sometimes the Dom needs it just as much as the sub. You’ve never experienced any of this?”
“N-no, sir,” she sighed and looked down, embarrassed. I put my hand under her chin and tilted it up so she’d look at me. “Sydney, it’s not your fault. But please listen to me, aftercare is so important for a sub. It grounds them, makes them feel cared for and safe. I don’t know who you’ve been scening with but they have been reckless with you.”
I stared in her eyes as I held her chin. I wanted to pull her in my arms and hold her. Give her what she obviously had missed out on. I pulled away though and stood up. If I had stayed sitting there, knees touching and me holding her chin much longer, I may have demanded that she let me work with her. But this needed to be something she asked for and wanted. I couldn’t demand. I had no right.
She stood and wandered over to the master bathroom. She commented on how big the shower and separate tub were. I smiled and didn’t dare tell her that my shower upstairs is bigger than this one.
“Staying here would be like staying in a hotel. I’m sure your guests love it.”
That reminded me to grill Anthony later on the status of fragile kitten’s place. I wanted to tell her that all she had to do was say the word and she’d be here tonight in the room.
“Do you charge the Doms or subs to work with them?”
“No, Sydney. I help because I want to help. Money doesn’t drive this community, Sydney. Nor is it a motive for me to help. Sometimes it’s helping a newer Dom with his first sub or maybe a new sub just getting into the lifestyle. It’s a very wide range of demographics. Helping others makes me feel good and it strengthens our community.”
We made our way back to the other guests and went outside on the patio. There were lots of small conversations going on and while Sydney wasn’t saying much I
knew she was paying close attention to them. Seth was talking about his upcoming round of being a dungeon monitor, which grabbed Sydney’s attention. She was sitting next to Anthony and he kept his arm behind her over the back of the cushions. It was a wonderful thing for him to do. It made her comfortable and know that he was right there in a protective role with her. I actually was amazed tonight by their interactions. I think he’s good for her. His calm demeanor and easygoing personality made him easy for her to be around.
Matt stood and said he needed to be going because he was covering a double shift starting tomorrow morning. I got Anthony’s attention and told him that I was going to walk Matt and Gina out. I wanted him to keep an eye on Sydney even though he didn’t need me reminding him.
Matt and Gina said goodnight to everyone and told Sydney they were glad to have met her. Sydney seemed to really like them and I could tell Matt and Gina both liked her. Once Matt shut the car door after Gina got in, he leaned against the door and looked at me.
“So, what did you think, Matt?”
“She’s a sweet girl. I can tell that the guys were definitely interested in scening with her. But, she’s nervous around some men.”
“I know. She didn’t seem to shy away from you though.”
“True. She knows I’m your best friend and that you trust me.”
“She sure relaxes near Anthony. I had no idea until seeing them tonight.”
“Yeah, let her lean on him. She feels comfortable around him. I was a little surprised tonight at how quickly she calmed with him just sitting next to her. You need to figure that wrist out and why she gets so jumpy.”
“I will. Thanks for coming, man.”
He headed home and I jogged back inside only to be met in the entrance way by Will and Seth. They too departed. Evan and Anthony were talking football and I could tell Evan was flirting with Sydney a bit. I was glad Anthony hadn't moved his protective shield from her proximity.
As Blake left he told Sydney that if she decided she’d like to come visit Irons to let me know and we’d arrange her visit. She said that it sounded nice and that she’d think about it. That was an excellent sign. Thankfully Blake got Evan to leave at the same time so it just left Anthony, Sydney and I.
