by SGD Singh
“All right,” Dhevan said. “That was longer than a moment.”
Grinning, Arihan looked around at the group. He had their full attention. “So obviously, what with my super-human strength, bravery, and speed, we make it across the square and to the church. But the Asura catch up with us just as we get to the door, just like in one of those Steven Seagal movies. I throw Dhevan inside, very dramatic-like—”
“And extremely painful. I managed to get out a sexy scream as I landed, though, so it was all worth it.”
“One fucking Asura got to me just as I'm lunging stylishly for the door, and I felt its claws cut into my back.” Arihan cleared his throat. “Okay, a word about pain. You may have experienced what you think is pain. You may have a vague idea of what the word pain means. But I'm telling you right now, boys and girls, until you've felt the cold, searing agony that is an Asura claw digging into your skin, seeming to slow time itself as it gouges and slices, and until you feel every layer of tissue and every cell exploding with sheer excruciation, you haven't really understood true pain.”
Is excruciation a word?
Aquila rested his cheek on Asha's neck, then kissed her once and she shivered. Yes.
Good to know.
“I barely managed to stay conscious long enough to notice why the church door had been open in the first place. Uma was there, pausing in the act of swooning over Dhevan's sexy scream to kill the Asura, and we were home free.”
Dhevan said, “It is a fact that claw marks remain on the church's door to this very day.”
Both Tvastars laughed, making an unfamiliar hand-gesture at each other before turning back to the fire.
“That's it?” Ursala said. “That's the whole story?”
“What?” Arihan grinned. “Did you change your mind about wanting to hear how your parents first exchanged the more serious body fluids?”
Ursala flopped back into the grass with a dramatic sigh.
“I blame the whole thing on the mucenici,” said Dhevan.
Arihan laughed. “Yeah, but it was so good, it was almost worth it.”
He stood, brushing his hands off on his pants. “And now, my young friends, our time for story-telling has unfortunately come to an end. If you take nothing else from this tale of lost limbs and blemished perfection, I hope you remember this. If you ever travel to the beautiful and picturesque country of Romania, remember the missing tourists, and avoid the meat dishes.”
The Koh Tao Vampires
Lexi entered the code to lower the plane's steps as soon as it pulled into the hangar, and was immediately hit by a wave of sticky humidity hot enough to fry a Makara spleen.
“You feel that?” she said. “That suffocating moistness? This is the kind of shit creepy-eyed Seers pull after telling you you're in charge. Fucking Vampire Unit, my ass.”
When Zaiden didn't reply, she glanced back at the Upperworlder. He stood at the aircraft's open door, calmly gazing around the hangar, adjusting sunglasses over his reptilian eyes, looking like some fucking supermodel.
“Are you even listening to me?” Lexi called. “We're stuck in Thailand. In June. Until we find some so-called righteous Vampires and convince them to join The Guard.”
“Silas says—”
“Don't give me Silas says,” she snapped, continuing down the steps. “He says a lot of shit, most of which makes zero sense.”
But even before the last words left her lips, Lexi had seen something that made her grin.
Tanvir lay across the hood of a white Toyota Vios, sound asleep, wearing shorts and a worn-out Misfits T-shirt. His flip-flops had fallen to the ground below his feet, and his Yankees cap was pulled over his eyes.
Lexi crept toward him, ignoring the sensation of Zaiden's alarm. She took hold of the Jodha's ankles and yanked, pulling him off the car and leaping out of his reach as he swung a weapon at her, cursing in Punjabi.
“Damn it, Hewitt!” he shouted. His anger was tinged with laughter that echoed throughout the hangar. “It is way too hot for that bullshit.” He pulled her into a tight embrace, then twisted her nose in his rough hand until it was Lexi who cursed.
Zaiden rushed to her side, but hesitated. You want me to…?
Lexi burst into laughter and hugged Tanvir in spite of the pain in her nose. No, I don't want you to…
Tanvir turned to Zaiden, keeping an arm around Lexi's shoulders. “You must be The Upperworlder I've heard so much about,” he said. He pinched Lexi's cheek in a very Punjabi gesture before offering a hand to Zaiden, who hesitated for a second before taking it. “I would tell you how sorry I am, yaar, but the truth is Lexi here, she's… well, you know how she is.”
Zaiden's eyes widened, and he turned an adorable shade of purplish brown.
“Okay!” Lexi said. “The sooner we find these warm and fuzzy Vampires, the sooner we leave this sweat-fest.”
“You wound me.” Tanvir held his chest. “In Bangkok mere minutes, and already you wish to go and leave me to resume retired boredom.”
Lexi reached into her pocket and handed him the brochure advertising the new Guard accommodations. “If this doesn't convince your wife to move to Central HQ, I don't know what will,” she told him.
He snatched the paper and looked at the images with eager excitement, and Lexi felt herself smiling again.
“Garud and Javin said they'll come if you do,” Lexi added.
“Are you serious right now?” Tanvir's eyes shone, and she thought he would hug her again. “And she wouldn't have to be around weapons and monsters? She hates weapons. And she really hates monsters.”
“It would be strictly training,” Lexi said. “You can even have full charge of the kitchens again, if you want. Freedom to harass the next generation of scrawny hormonal youth.”
Tanvir slapped Zaiden on the back, and the Upperworlder stumbled forward in surprise. “See? Didn't I tell you she was the absolute best?”
Don't answer that.
Tanvir was looking at his hand in astonishment. “Wait, you really do have wings! Sorry, yaar, didn't mean to smash up your feathers there. Can I have a look? I've never seen a Tapas Yodakha.”
I wouldn't recommend that.
Yeah, thanks for the tip.
Tanvir looked back and forth between them. “Wait, are you two deciding I can't see them? That's harsh, yaar. Way to make a guy feel left out.”
Without warning, Zaiden dropped the illusion that shielded him from civilians, revealing glorious wings of blond and black speckled feathers that matched his hair. His brownish-purple skin looked even more iridescent than before, and Lexi felt her pulse hitch as he took his sunglasses off and blinked reptilian eyes of turquoise-green.
Tanvir whistled appreciatively before turning to Lexi, one eyebrow raised.
“Damn, girl!” he said, shaking his head as he lowered himself into the car. “Now I know you have a will of iron!”
Lexi turned away before her former teacher saw her blush, and glared over the car at Zaiden. Thanks for that.
What? Zaiden's smile was so gorgeous she felt like punching his teeth in. It's not my fault my natural state bothers you.
Yeah, but you like the way it bothers me.
He was already ducking into the backseat, his human disguise back in place. True.
Lexi slammed the door a little too hard, and Tanvir twirled his Yankees cap around, rolling the windows down as he said, “The air conditioner is fucked. And don't ask Javin to explain about the Wraith last Friday. All you need to know is, the whole thing was her fault.”
His phone rang, and Tanvir threw it to Lexi. When she clicked to connect, she could hear traffic and dishes, and then Javin's voice. “Tunny? Change of plans.” Lexi felt herself grinning at the sound of her old instructor's voice. “Garud is hungry, so meet us at that noodle place in Wang Lang Market before we meet with the DGP.”
Lexi stifled a giggle, then shouted in a low voice, “Who is this? And who is Tunny?”
Tanvir leaned toward the phone and shouted someth
ing in rapid Punjabi, and Lexi heard Javin and Garud's laughter before Javin hung up.
He turned the wheel violently, and Zaiden gripped Lexi's seat to prevent himself from slamming against the opposite side of the car.
“Just for that,” Tanvir said, “we're meeting the Director General without them. I don't think the RTP would've meshed well with Javin and Garud, anyway.”
Lexi looked out the window and tried not to laugh, but as the silence stretched, she could no longer hold it together, and when Zaiden snorted in the backseat, she lost it. Tanvir pretended not to notice as he turned up the music, filling the car with rhythmic Bhangra that made Lexi miss Punjab.
“C'mon, Tunny,” she said, “don't be like that. How often do we get to intimidate police officials these days?”
“All the intimidating you'll be doing is waiting outside,” he said, “while I converse in Thai.”
“Lexi can be pretty intimidating waiting outside,” Zaiden offered.
Lexi shot him a glare, then raised her hand. “I promise to be on my best American tourist behavior. Also, Silas specifically stated that I was to be involved in every aspect of the operation. Zaiden, too.”
Tanvir squinted at her suspiciously, and she grinned. “It's a Seer thing.”
He turned onto a wide, tree-lined road and stopped at the gaudiest iron gate Lexi had ever seen. He pushed a button on an intercom box and proceeded to yell something in Thai that caused the gates to swing open a moment later.
Lexi shook her head. “You just screamed something about seafood, didn't you?”
“Hey, bluefin tuna in melting ice can to lead to tragedy,” Tanvir said. “Also, I may have been posing as the RTP Director General's head chef for the past week.”
“Well, that at least explains your wardrobe.” Lexi turned her nose up. “Or lack thereof.”
“Why, thank you, Hewitt. That's very kind of you to notice.” He parked in front of a large glass and teak house that was surrounded by rubber trees and well-tended gardens. “I hope you're enjoying that melting sensation down the back of your designer Guard uniform.”
The three of them got out of the car, and Lexi tried to ignore the sweat trickling down her spine under her long shirt.
A group of men rushed toward Tanvir, looking panicked in their attempt to rescue the unfortunate bluefin tuna, but he rattled off something in Thai that had them hurrying to open the front door for him instead, and they bowed repeatedly as the three of them passed into the house.
“I get the feeling you aren't the nicest boss, Tunny,” Lexi said. “Could it be the residents of this household don't fully appreciate the many healing qualities of kale?”
Tanvir opened his mouth to answer, but just then a short man weighing at least two hundred pounds burst into the entrance hall. He greeted Tanvir with open arms and a wide smile, then slapped his round stomach as he shouted something in Thai.
Lexi was beginning to understand that Thai was a language to be shouted.
Tanvir's answer stopped the man in his tracks, and Lexi knew the Jodha had told the Director General he wasn't there to be his personal chef anymore. The round man turned to Zaiden with eyes that threatened to pop out of his skull, and all the blood left his face, as if he suddenly feared assassination from the mysterious bronze guy in sunglasses.
To his credit, the director recovered just a moment later, and quickly ushered the three of them into a gaudy sitting room. He fell back into one of the chairs as if his legs were giving out, but then bowed low toward Zaiden and Lexi, and said in perfect English, “Welcome to The Big Mango. It is a great honor to be of service to The Infernal Guard.”
Why is he talking about mangoes?
Lexi realized she was smirking as she tried not to smile. It's Bangkok's nickname. Like The Big Apple?
What?
Never mind. Forget it.
Oh… kay?
“Thank you for your hospitality,” Zaiden said. “Your country is very beautiful.”
Lexi tried not to roll her eyes when Zaiden looked at her as if it was her turn to say something polite.
“We're here to find Vampires,” she said, smiling her friendliest smile, and the man's eyes bugged out again. “Stragoii. Jiangshi.”
Tanvir leaned forward and spoke in English. “Do not distress yourself, Director. Our sources tell us this is the place to find who we are looking for.” He smiled reassuringly. “We came to you first simply as a courtesy. There's no need for you to involve yourself in the business. Simply point us toward the man in your organization everyone thinks is a raving lunatic, and we'll be on our way.”
“But…” The director trembled, and Lexi realized his many quivering chins looked like stacked flan. “I thought The Infernal Guard was a top secret religious organization dedicated to animal rights.”
Lexi turned to Zaiden, but the Upperworlder shrugged.
Tanvir smiled, his voice still reassuring. “Sometimes our religious duties take us toward the so-called supernatural,” he said. “You have no idea how often raving lunatics end up harming wildlife.”
“Of course, of course!” The color began to return to the director's skin as his mind struggled back to familiar ground, and Tanvir and Zaiden both shot Lexi a dark look, warning her not to scare the civilian further.
Lexi tried to smile, and nod in her best imitation of an Ameri-can tourist, but the man clearly still sensed something dangerous about his visitors. After an awkward silence, he mumbled something incoherent and hurried from the room. He returned a few minutes later, sweating and out of breath, to give Tanvir a slip of paper.
“This is the man you want. But he's paranoid about new people,” the director explained. “I hope you will forgive his rudeness, and I'm so sorry, but he will only meet you at that address at noon. I've described you to him, so wait until he finds you.”
Tanvir stood. “Excellent,” he said, and, smirking at Lexi, he added, “and I trust you'll continue with the diet? The kale especially is doing wonders, I think.”
“Oh! Uh, of course, of course,” the director said a little too loudly as he bowed them out. “I will certainly do my best.”
Back at the car, Lexi unbuttoned her shirt and rolled up her sleeves. She was already looking forward to a cold shower and a change of wardrobe after they met with the Royal Thai Police definition of a “raving lunatic.”
Tanvir handed her the paper as they sped along the main road once again, and Lexi read the name: David Duangjan, Central Investigation Bureau, above a bunch of coordinates that Lexi couldn't bother to figure out in all this damn heat.
Zaiden said, “It's twenty-five to noon now.”
Tanvir wrenched the stick shift, and the car shot forward. “And we have to take a filthy boat. Those coordinates are for the Temple of Dawn.” He grinned. “Fitting, wouldn't you say?”
The car swerved dangerously as he dialed a number on his phone, “Javvy?” He shook his head at Lexi as she cracked up again.
Do not call her that, Zaiden. I guarantee no one ever has.
Duly noted.
“Change of plans,” Tanvir said. “We're meeting some paranoid CIB dude at the Temple of Dawn at noon. No, he doesn't know about you, so you're not invited.” Lexi could hear Javin's profanity-laced Punjabi through the phone, and Tanvir said, “Fine. But you two stay out of sight unless he does something stupid. We'll be at the base of the stairs in fifteen.”
He threw his phone to Lexi as he swung the car to a violent stop at the edge of a river, then jumped out to bellow in Thai at a skinny boy who was asleep in a boat.
The boy scrambled to his feet and started the boat's motor. Tanvir gave the boy cash and then motioned Lexi and Zaiden to get in the boat first, with a bow and an exaggerated sweep of his arm.
“Congratulations very much on your marriage,” the boy said in awkward English as they sat. “I hope for you too much fantastic honeymoon in beautiful, most scenic Thailand.”
Lexi and Zaiden turned to Tanvir, frowning in unison, and
Lexi said, “Funny.”
He ignored them, turning instead to the boat driver with an impatient clap. “They are very, very much rushed to see the temple so they can return to their blissful bed. An extra four thousand baht if you get them there in ten minutes, my friend.” Tanvir crowded onto the small bench, shoving Lexi toward Zaiden, and leaned on his arms with a satisfied sigh.
Don't kill him, Lexi. Best American tourist behavior, remember?
Lexi tried to smile at the boy, but she knew it was more of a grimace.
Zaiden told the boy, “Thank you for your hospitality. Your country is very beautiful.”
By the time they reached the base of Wat Arun's steep steps, Lexi was beginning to feel like a tourist for real. The temple grounds were breathtaking, full of gazebos and walkways with intricate pitched-roofs decorated in colorful details, highlighted in gold. She studied the guardian statues that seemed to depict towering demons armed with giant swords, and then the row of golden Buddhas sitting along a peaceful veranda.
The property was almost deserted in the midday heat, and only the sound of birds accompanied them as they approached the ancient temple itself. It was majestic despite its peeling cement, a pyramid-like structure that towered above the city.
Lexi craned her neck back to look up a set of steps so steep they might as well have been a ladder and whistled in appreciation. “He wants us to meet him all the way at the top?”
“Seems stupid,” Tanvir said, glancing around. “We're already on hallowed ground, so what's his problem?”
Garud appeared at the temple's first landing and looked down at them from the shadows, crossing his massive arms over his broad chest, and looking every bit the terrifying warrior as a hot breeze moved his long hair off his shoulders to conceal parts of his face, like moving shadows. “What took you guys so long?” he growled.
Lexi was up the stairs before she realized her feet were moving, and she launched herself into her teacher's crushing embrace. “It's good to see you,” she said. “Please tell me you and Javin will join us at Central HQ.”
“Depends,” Javin said from behind her, and Lexi spun to see the tiny Spiritual Martial Arts instructor. The familiar pink scar that ran down one side of her face only making her more strikingly beautiful, as always. She still had the same short, light brown hair, at odds with her deep midnight skin, but in fact was in complete synchronicity with the Indian flying fox that she could shift to.
