by Clara Stone
She lifts her head and looks at me like she’s still in some sort of daze. She blinks. The flush of her cheeks and the redness of her lips send my blood shooting southbound. She bites her lip like the siren she is.
“We need to go,” I say, my voice hoarse. One more second of her nibbling her lips and my promises will mean nothing.
She attempts to pull her legs together. But I refuse to put any more distance between us; I place my hands on her thighs, holding her in place.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” I whisper. I feel the goose bumps on her legs rise under my hands. God, she’s so fucking beautiful. “But I promise, you’ll love it.”
She nods. “Okay. I should probably get in the shower, then.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from growling. “You should.”
She chews on her lip, and I come so close to saying “fuck the plans,” and finding a different way to make un-fucking-forgettable memories.
“Um, Heath.”
“Yeah?” I say, my eyes trained on her mouth. Jesus H. Christ. Her mouth . . .
“If you want us to go soon, you need to move out of the way so I can get ready.”
Hesitantly, I push away and give her space. Just enough so that, when she walks by, her chest brushes against my arm. I watch as she heads back toward the bedroom, her Tweety Bird boxer-wrapped tush swaying back and forth. When she’s out of sight, I shove my head deep into the freezer and let the frigid air cool my brains.
This girl is going to kill me someday. No doubt.
“MS. CASPER. MR. LOVELLY,” Barry, the nearly sixty-year-old blueberry farm owner, greets us. “Haven’t seen you youngins in . . . six . . . seven years?”
“Or more like four years, Barry,” Heath corrects, hugging the old man.
“Ah . . .” he grumbles. “At my age, what’s two years going to make?”
Heath chuckles. “Not much, I guess, when you’re older than rock.”
“You haven’t changed, boy.” Barry lets go of Heath and turns his attention to me. “I hope you’re keeping him on a tight leash, sweet Ace.”
I nod, glancing to Heath for less than a second. But it’s enough to fill my body with heat. “Yes, sir,” I reply, averting my eyes from both men.
“Good girl.” He pats my back tenderly and walks toward the barn. He yells over the clunking of metal in his shivery voice, “This boy needs someone to keep him in control.”
A deep flush colors Heath’s face and a boyish grin appears. He runs his hand through his hair before rubbing it along the nape of his neck. His eyes collide with mine as he answers, “And she does one hell of a job at it.”
Barry returns with two woven baskets in hand, both decorated with thick, plain blue cloths. “Whatever you can fill is yours.” He hands one to each of us. “Just be sure to finish up by noon, or the missus will have a cow.”
“You and I aren’t so different when it comes to our women, are we, Barry?” Heath grabs my hand and leads me toward the path that’ll take us to the berry bushes. The smell of blueberries fills my lungs the moment the bushes come into view. I take a deep breath, and memories of Mom baking blueberry pie rush to mind.
“Come on.” Heath runs forward, pulling the first of the blueberries from its stem. “Here.” He gestures for me to join him.
I smile and do as he asks. His lips curve to one side, his eyes never wavering off mine. “Open your mouth,” he says in that sexy drawl.
I do.
The smooth skin of blueberry touches my tongue, and my lips close around his fingers, much like he did earlier with the cake batter. My toes curl at the memory of where that led us. A small noise that sounds an awful lot like a moan of pleasure comes from Heath.
“That’s really good,” I say, clearing my throat; he swallows like a frog’s stuck in his.
I step back and pivot around him. “Come on, stud. Let’s fill up our baskets.”
He chuckles. His footsteps pad behind me in an unrushed progression.
“Last one to fill their basket is a sour puss!” he yells suddenly, plucking berries as he runs past me.
“You’re such a baby!”
For the first time in three days, the weight lifts off my shoulders and laughter floats around me. This . . . this is the reason I wanted to get away from everyone else and spend these few days with just him. The boy I’m undeniably, irreversibly in love with.
Right around noon, we make our way back to the farm, our bodies exhausted from the heat and our hands and faces varying shades of blue.
We climb up the ladder in the barn to the makeshift loft. Heath falls into the love seat with an oomph. “God, that was grueling.”
I giggle and slump on the floor. I take Heath’s basket full of blueberries, and pour them into mine. “You getting old at eighteen, Heath?”
“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes and turns so he can see me.
I smirk and continue plucking berries from their leaves. Heath has always had a habit of taking the leaves along with the fruit. I look up, placing a berry in my mouth, my eyes locking with his. His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip, then the top.
“You could just ask me to bring you some,” I say. “Nicely.”
“Ace.” He perches on his elbow, his perfectly-shaped left eyebrow arching high on his forehead. “Bring me some blueberries, woman.”
I laugh. “Yeah, good luck getting what you want, acting like a caveman.” I pop another berry into my mouth.
“Please,” he adds, smiling.
“Much better,” I say, propping up on my knees and grabbing a handful of berries. “See, that wasn’t so hard. Was it?”
He crinkles his nose, and I want to kiss it. But I don’t. I slowly crawl, making my way closer to him. He opens his mouth, like he wants me to serve him. I do. I take the handful of berries and smear them all over his face. The utter shock of my action has me cradling my sides, laughing until tears roll down my cheeks.
A few chunks of berry fall from his face to his pants, making me laugh even harder.
“Oh, you’re so going to pay for that, little rabbit.” He lunges from the sofa. I squeal and fall to the side, making him hug the floor.
Still laughing, I shoot up and run so that the sofa is stationed between us. I dart to the side, hoping to get to the ladder, but he does the same. I go to the other side; he follows my movement like a carbon copy. We move in circles around the love seat, until finally, he corners me.
A triumphant smile crosses his features. I gulp and search for a way out, my gaze landing on the loosely piled hay below us. A thought crosses my mind. I straighten and take a confident step forward.
Heath’s advance halts. “What are you doing?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smirk, my eyes wavering to the hay.
He follows my glance. “Oh no, you don’t.”
“It’s a lot more fun to chase, than to be chased,” I say and lunge forward.
“Rabbit!” he yells, as both of us freefall from the loft to the pile of hay below. Heath has his arms wrapped around me, holding me in a vise grip as he takes the impact. I giggle as we roll down the hay. But soon, he has me pinned beneath him, every inch of us touching. I push up, but he doesn’t budge.
My heart screams at me, wanting his lips against mine. He just stares into my eyes, like this moment’s been frozen in time. Like there’s nothing that would make this any better. Or maybe those are my feelings. Either way, I don’t care, because I might not have years to see where things go for us.
Funny, I never had the guts to do the things I really wanted until I had nothing left to lose. Which is so stupid. Why did I wait my entire life, hoping for the things I wanted, instead of taking them? I don’t even know what tomorrow might bring.
And I’m done being stupid.
“Let me go,” I say half-heartedly, sounding out of breath.
He presses into me, so deliciously close. His eyes fall to the top of my chest, t
hen come back to my face. The desire and longing in his eyes tells me he wants this as much as I do. So, without much thought, I push up and press my lips to his, testing. Then, slowly, his lips consume me little by little. I wrap my arms around his neck, and my legs hook around his waist.
My entire world shifts on its axis as we kiss. His chest rumbles against mine as he growls in agreement. Heat courses through me, and I’m drowning in him.
He pulls back, his breath heavy and hot against my mouth. “We should get back, before Barry comes looking for us.”
“We should,” I agree, but don’t move.
“Ace,” he says. His finger pushes a lonely strand of hair behind my ear.
Suddenly, I can’t seem to breathe. The way he says my name . . . it speaks to me from deep within. It’s like he has the secret code to my soul, and I turn on with his call.
He sits up, taking me with him so that I’m straddling him. His scent fills my lungs. “I’m in love with you, Ace,” he says, and emotions form a tight coil in my throat.
Pain and anger course through me, because I’ve dreamt of hearing those words, of him saying them, so many times. But now, with the biopsy results looming over my head, I don’t know if these are words I can hear. I definitely can’t say them. What if my results come back worse than I want . . . what will become of Heath? He couldn’t even handle the joke about my death; how will he deal if that becomes my fate?
“No, you don’t.” I shrug it off, though it pains me to do so. I know he does. Somewhere deep down, I know the last few times he’s said the words they’ve been different. But I can’t acknowledge that. I can’t let him continue feeling that way. “You think you are because I’m your best friend.”
He grunts. “No. I know I’m in love with you. Believe me, Ace. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I feel like I need to beat the shit out of every guy that’s ever kissed you, or even touched you. And I don’t care if it’s for a single day, a single minute, being with you, creating these memories . . .” He studies my eyes, like he’s wanting me to acknowledge his feelings and something much much deeper. He runs his thumb over my cheek and tilts my head toward his. His beautiful, hazel eyes shine bright and blue, reflecting the color of his shirt. “You’re my forever kinda love, baby. There’s nobody else that can make me feel complete, just you.”
Tears start to roll down my cheeks, and I push off him, turning away. I should have known something like this was bound to happen. Maybe I should’ve listened to Dad and stayed home.
“I can’t do this, Heath.” I wrap my arms around my waist, my body shaking from the pain igniting inside me. “Not right now.”
“Can you give me one good reason why?”
“Because I’m not good enough for you.” And you’ll hate me when I lose my hair and look like death’s niece.
“Not a good reason. Because I’m not good enough for you.” Heath pulls me to him, my back to his front. He brushes the hair away from my neck, and his breath raises goose bumps in its wake. “I know you feel this is more than a passing fling, more than just something you feel for your best friend, same as I do. Why do you keep fighting it? Let me love you like you deserve. Let me, Ace.”
“I can’t.” I shrug him off. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I want him, but I can’t have him. Why won’t he understand how much this is hurting me?
“Why not? I know you love me.”
“Love is messy, Heath. It cuts you open when you least expect it.” And if he feels even an ounce of the kind of love I have toward him, this will end in the worst kind of mess. I can’t wish that upon him. I just can’t.
“You’re right, baby. Love is a pain in the ass.” He walks away, his shoulders falling in defeat.
My heart dies a little with each step he takes. Then he halts, his feet planted firmly on the ground. His hand shoves through his silky, raven hair, tugging it. Without warning, he growls and pivots around, closing the distance between us in a flash, our toes touching.
I suck in a breath. My lungs fill with his honey and cinnamon scent, and I tilt my head up to meet his gaze. His hazel eyes study me, trying to dissect the words I’m too scared to tell him. His calloused hands caress the length of my jaw in slow movements and thrust into my hair as he presses his forehead to mine. My chest heaves, grasping for air.
My hands land over his erratic heartbeat, grounding me and keeping me from falling to my butt.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My eyes drop to his lips. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me. But he doesn't.
“You didn’t consider one thing . . .” His voice is low and hoarse, deep with emotion and love. So much love.
It feels like a herd of elephants and deer and every other animal in the entire damn world is stomping around inside me, trying to gallop away from danger.
Don’t lose it, Ace. This is Heath. This is your best friend.
He leans forward, his lips grazing the shell of my ear as he whispers, “Us. You and I . . . we . . .” I feel him swallow, and my eyes close in response. His warm breath sends shivers through my body. “We’d blow the fucking world to pieces.”
They’re the most passionate words he’s ever said to me. How did I get so lucky to have him in my life?
“We’d blow the fucking world to pieces,” he repeats. His voice cracks this time.
My resolve crumbles like ice in boiling water. I don’t want to argue with him. But I need to protect him. At least until I know what’s to become of my fate. If the results come back positive, there’s no way I’m subjecting him to a losing battle.
“Can’t you just let it go for now?” I plead. “I don’t want to fight, Heath. Not this weekend.”
He opens his mouth, then closes it. He repeats that again, and then nods hesitantly, pulling me to him, like he knows. He knows exactly why I’m asking this weekend.
I wrap my arms around him, hoping and wishing I’m wrong.
How I hope I’m very very wrong.
I STAND ON THE balcony connected to our room, staring at the ocean, feeling anything but relaxed. My jaw clenches. “Yeah, got it,” I snap into the phone, then bite down on my tongue. Dad wants me to take an internship with his friend’s multi-million dollar real estate empire a week after graduation. I don’t like the idea, but right now, all I want is to hang up and help Ace with lunch.
Dad sighs. “Son, this is for the best. I’ve done everything I can to help you boys craft successful lives.”
Yeah, everything but truly being there for us the way Mom was. Hudson and Harrington have more memories with her than I do. But, from what I can remember, she’d been a supermom. She’d never once missed my brothers’ school activities, even when it was a simple thing, like baking events or school dances. She’d been there through and through. And on top of it, she and Dad had had this glow about them. She’d made Dad a better person.
She’d been the glue that held our family together, happy, and incredibly blessed. But then, she lost her battle against cancer. Even with the ability to hire the best of the best, Dad couldn’t save her. And after she passed away, he’d become more aggressive with business, and obsessed on securing our futures.
Love is a blessing in disguise. And it’s unavoidable. I turn around, my gaze landing on Ace. She licks her fingers, and her eyes tilt up, finding mine. She smiles in a way that makes every thought in my head seem like a bunch of chicken shit. Again.
I feel like I’m in a dream, and I’m afraid that when I do wake up, all of this is going to disappear.
“When you return from your championship, I expect you to join the quarterly stakeholders meeting. It’s about time the board met you, especially if you’re going to take over for me in a few years.” I hear the pride, the joy that radiates through the phone.
I turn back around to avoid Ace’s questioning eyes. “I’m not even out of high school, yet. Can’t this wait until after college?”
“That’s life, son. You don’t always get what you want.” He pause
s. “I hope you understand how important this meeting is. It’s your chance to prove your worth to the board.” Scratching and shuffling noises echo through the phone. “Heath. You turned into a strong young man, and I hope you know how proud I am of you. Your mom would be proud of you too, son.”
My jaw hits the floor, and I feel like the ground beneath me shakes. Compliments from Dad aren’t something to be taken lightly. Hell, since Mom passed, I can’t recall a single time he’s said anything nice to me. It’s always been a string of instructions to “do this, do that.”
“Should I be worried? It feels like you’re buttering me up to soften a blow or something. Like finally admitting you’re the one who ran over my pet turtle when I was six years old.”
Silence fills the void between us. Okay, that wasn’t that terrible of a joke, was it?
“Goodbye, son. Stay strong.”
Without waiting for my response, he hangs up.
“Hey, everything okay?” Ace’s hand presses down on my shoulder, and I can’t help but gravitate toward it. I lay my cheek on her hand, then turn to kiss her knuckles.
She steps next to me and hands me a cup of coffee. “Was that your dad?”
Oh, how well she knows me. I nod and press my lips to the rim of the cup, dragging the blistering liquid into my mouth. I flinch as the burn slides down my throat.
She wraps her arms around me and snuggles against my chest. I’m not going to fuck this time up with thoughts about Dad or about how Ace . . . No. I sigh heavily. Today . . . today, it’s all about Ace.
I pivot and turn my most seductive smile on her. “What do you think about spending some time at the beach?”
She doesn’t respond as her eyes study me. I know she can tell I’m avoiding the truth. Her lips press into thin lines. “If you aren’t hungry, that sounds amazing,” she finally responds, and I’m thankful she doesn’t push for more information.
“Good.”
