by Olivia Arran
My Hunger to Bear
The Everson Brothers
Olivia Arran
Arran Publishing
Contents
1. Chapter One
2. Chapter Two
3. Chapter Three
4. Chapter Four
5. Chapter Five
6. Chapter Six
7. Chapter Seven
8. Chapter Eight
9. Chapter Nine
10. Chapter Ten
11. Chapter Eleven
12. Chapter Twelve
13. Chapter Thirteen
14. Chapter Fourteen
15. Chapter Fifteen
Epilogue
Sneak Peak: Promised (True Mates Book #1)
From the Author
Copyright © 2017 Olivia Arran
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locals or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Please note that this work is intended only for adults over the age of 18 and all characters represented as 18 or over.
Edited by CM Editing
Cover Design by Kasmit Covers
Chapter One
Connie
Antiseptic stung my nose as I sucked in a breath, the air rattling in my chest and vibrating out through my bones. Peeling my lips apart, I winced as I tried to swallow, pins and needles racing out through my arms and legs as feeling rushed back to life. All around me the air hummed with the low babble of muted conversations, the whoosh and gurgle of machines doing their thing, and the bleat of an intercom firing off sharp commands to God only knew who.
A hospital. I didn’t need to have my eyes open to recognize where I was, the starch of clinically clean bed sheets warring with the antiseptic. The view through the back of my eyelids was next to nothing, no light to acknowledge my abrupt arrival back to the land of the living, which meant one of two things. It was either night, or I was blind. This time the breath caught in my windpipe, irrational fear tightening its grip.
Idiot. Open your damn eyes.
Peeling my eyelids open, the lashes matted and putting up a fight, I blinked into the darkness. But it wasn’t black. The colors were muted by shadows, but it was clear enough of a reassurance it had me melting back into the mattress with what must be a silly grin on my face. I’m okay. The mantra repeated inside my head, until it threatened to burst out of me on a peal of deranged laughter. I did a quick inventory, wriggling my fingers and toes. I was alive, my head hurt like a bitch, but everything seemed to be working.
What the hell had happened? Why was I here?
Surveying the equipment to my left, I searched for the call button, ready to demand some answers. And a release form. They were screwed if they thought I was staying in here one second longer than I needed to.
Movement in the shadows caught my eye, the shape of a man stretching with an elegance that needed no introduction or reminders.
Ralph.
It all came rushing back: the fire, my bakery burning all around me, Amy trapped. I had refused to leave her. Then … nothing.
I shook my head, sending pain lancing through my skull. No, there was something. Arms wrapping around me, holding me close as I was carried out to safety. A heart beating under my ear, familiar and comforting, his smell the same as it had always been.
My Ralph.
He had come for me. But—
“Amy?” It came out a weak, high pitched croak of panic.
“She’s fine.” His voice was tired and low, with an edge of tension that cleared the last of the fog from my memories.
It was him, but he wasn’t my Ralph anymore, hadn’t been for seven long years. A lifetime ago. Relief that my best friend was okay should have had the adrenaline draining from me, but how could I possibly relax with my nemesis right here in the room with me? “Why are you here?” I forced a bite into my voice, already hating myself for it, but unable to do anything about it.
I heard the rustle of clothing as he stood from his chair, his tall frame rising high up toward the beige ceiling tiles. Though familiar, his silhouette never failed to take my breath away; large and strong, he was a man built like a workhorse, with a grace that had once taken me by surprise. The shadows fell away from his face as he prowled toward the bed, revealing sun bronzed skin and harsh, proud features, his hair inky black in the darkness, sucking up all the light as it fell forward over eyes that could be filled with warmth one second, then coldly dismissive the next. A square jaw hidden by a permanent five o’clock shadow and thick brows gave him a rakish air.
I remembered running my fingers over that jaw; tracing my nails down the firm line onto the soft skin of his neck as I peppered his lips with kisses.
My fingers dug into the sheets, twisting.
“You’re hurt. Where else would I be?” Gravel and whiskey, his voice caressed my ears and sent shivers trickling down my spine.
I bit back the sigh, unsure if it would come out a are-you-kidding-me or a girlish kiss-me-please. “I’m not your responsibility, Ralph.”
His lips twisted into a disapproving frown, his hand coming to rest on the top of the bed frame behind my head.
“I’m not,” I added, in case he hadn’t heard me the first time. “I’m not yours—”
“You’ve made that very clear over the years, babe.” And there it was, the infamous shrug. The one I had nearly pelted him over the head with a rolling pin many a time for. It was also the shrug that’d had me nearly falling into bed with him…
I shook the image of him out of my head and crossed my arms over my chest, the reality of the thin hospital gown sinking in for the first time. “So … go home.”
Ignoring my disapproving scowl, he lowered himself onto the edge of my bed, his ass brushing against my thighs with a firmness that implied intent. “You’ve been floating in and out of consciousness for well over a week, babe. You need someone to look after you.”
Resisting the urge to squirm, I tightened my grip on my sides, digging my fingers in. “What makes you think I’d let you look after me?”
He didn’t blink at the judgment coating my words, but, then again, I’d already known he wouldn’t. I’d thrown a hell of a lot worse at him over the last few years and yet, he still came back for more. Still watched me with a look of longing in his eyes that promised to break many a bed board and ruin a woman for life. This time the squirm was all about the surge of heat between my thighs and nothing to do with hate or detest.
“Who else do you have?” His low words cut through, slicing clean to the bone and leaving nothing but the familiar ache of anguish in their wake. That was the problem; he knew me too well, knew everything about me. I had no secrets left to hide behind when it came to this man.
“Not fair,” I muttered, eyeing the door. If I sprinted, would I make it? My head thudded in anticipation, warning me not to even think of being so damn stupid. Could I even walk? “Amy would check in on me.”
“Amy has her foot all wrapped up and an overprotective husband who won’t let her out of his sight. She’s also got … bigger things to think about.”
Dammit. Aha! I winced, closing my eyes for a brief second. Even my mental crowing hurt my head. “Gina! She’s trained in first aid.”
“Gina works and has two children—a baby, no less—and a new husband. Would it be fair of you to ask her to
watch you 24-7? Because, that’s what you need, Connie. You’ve got a concussion.”
His condescending tone was starting to grate on me. Nope, scratch that, it was rubbing up against me like a goddamned cheese grater! “I’ll be just fine on my own. Gina can call me every hour.” As soon as I said the words, I knew I wasn’t being fair. And I knew I might as well have thrown up a big white flag.
Sure enough, his eyes lit up at the first sign of weakness, the dark brown intensifying to a liquid pool of shimmering bronze. I’d seen the effect before, had spent many a night wondering if it was the light catching just right, or genetics playing tricks, but whatever it was, I knew one thing. It was mesmerizing. Combined with his deep tan and the skin tight t-shirts he always liked to wear, he was enough to have a woman reconsidering everything she’d even known.
My hand flew out before my brain had chance to stop it. “Don’t do that!” My fingers connected with his chest, bouncing off hard muscle covered in the latest oddball slogan; this one reading The Bear Necessities…
Big mistake. There might as well have been sirens going off and lights flashing.
His hand shot up, capturing mine and pressing it harder against the warm cotton, until I could feel the steady thud of his heart under my palm, the unrelenting rhythm leaching into me and vibrating up through my arm and into my chest. I dragged in a ragged breath, unable to look away, my lips parting as he leaned toward me. The sane part of me was throwing a hissy fit, demanding that I push him away, but … I couldn’t. I was trapped in the past. I could feel his lips against mine so clearly, the drag of skin catching, the heat of his breath as he growled against my mouth before taking what he wanted. I had lived for his kisses, had existed only for the time we could be together, and it hadn’t been enough.
“No.” It was a whisper, almost a question, as if even I didn’t believe I’d actually given it voice.
He arched a single eyebrow, his lips thinning into his trademark smirk. “No?”
Thud, thud. His heart continued to beat hard and fast beneath my hand, it’s echo pounding through my head with a hypnotic melody. My fingers curled into his shirt, nails scraping against the skin beneath. He was so warm, so alive. So near. Why did fate have to tempt me like this?
Why did it have to be him?
I dredged up the only memories I had that would break this enchantment he had woven, shoving them to the front of my mind with a force that took my breath away. “I said, no, and I mean it.” It hurt when I pulled my hand away, but I did it. I had to.
What hurt even more was that he let me. Leaning back, he gave me a dark look that told me, in no uncertain terms, that he thought I was acting like an ass. “I thought I’d lost you.”
I swallowed back the burst of sympathy his broken words ignited. Just a little longer and then I can collapse. “You never had me.”
“Don’t lie, babe, not to me. I had you and I lost you.”
I tilted my head, wondering where the hell he was going with this. At first I’d thought he was angling for round of naked twister, but now…? “And? Nothing’s changed, Ralph.” I emphasized his name, hoping he’d get the hint. We weren’t each other’s babe or sweetheart, or any other kind of cutesy name he decided to think up.
“You never gave me a fair chance. All I’m asking is for you to listen, let me explain everything.”
“There’s nothing you can say that’ll make what you did okay.” I forced the words out through gritted teeth. Even after all this time, his betrayal still hurt like hell. No way was I ripping the bandaid off that old wound. Scanning the equipment next to me, I spied the call button. Jabbing it, I sent him a look that hopefully conveyed my disinterest at hearing anything but goodbye from him.
The bed groaned as he stood.
Good. I gave him a little wave.
He closed his eyes in what looked like pained bemusement, but he didn’t move.
Why isn’t he moving? Doesn’t he have any pride? You’d think I’d have known better by now, having been the object of his attention for over a decade. Though, the last seven years had been more like a cat watching a mouse, planning his attack. Well, his attack had just failed miserably. So long, sucker! Now, where the hell was the nurse?
He let out a heartfelt sigh, his eyes flicking back open and pinning me in place. “I’ve been very patient, Connie, and, as you know, I’m not the kind of man to wait around when he wants something. I like to seize the moment, take what I want, and fuck the consequences. Life is full of opportunities and it’s the fool who doesn’t take advantage.”
I caught myself almost nodding and stopped myself just in time, deciding a scowl would work just as well.
“I waited for you.”
Wait, was that a warning? I opened my mouth, but he cut me off with a sharp shake of his head.
“The second your life was in danger; your time was up. I can’t protect you if I’m not in your life. I’ve given you time to come around on your own, but I’m not waiting any longer. We’re going to work this out, or I’ll die trying.”
“Suits me fine,” I snapped, furious at the part of me that had melted at his declaration. I wasn’t that girl anymore.
He flashed me a wry smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling and softening his face. “Let me guess, the me dying part, right?”
The corner of my mouth edged up, despite firm instructions not to. “It has a certain … appeal.” Sliding my hand out of sight, I crossed my fingers, just incase anyone watching. I didn’t want anyone up there thinking I actually meant what I was saying. He was an ass and I wanted him out of my life, but that didn’t mean I actually wanted any harm to come to him.
His smirk stretched into a full fledged grin as he rolled his eyes. “You always did have a smart mouth, kid.”
“You never complained.” My childhood nickname was better than babe, at least.
“I always enjoyed your mouth … babe.” He even threw in a wink to make his leer even more lecherous.
I couldn’t stop the burst of laughter. The sight of him, all handsome, ripped and drool worthy pulling faces worthy of a dirty, old flasher had the whole absurdity of this situation bubbling over and pouring out of me in great waves of near hysteria. My store had burned down, I’d nearly died, Amy had been hurt, my head hurt like I’d slammed it between two boulders, and the man who haunted my dreams had told me, point blank, he wasn’t going to let me go. Had declared it like it was a done deal. Tears rolled down my face as my chest heaved between great hiccups and spurts of laughter. My head was in danger of splitting in two and I sounded like a donkey having a panic attack.
And I didn’t care. I was past caring, past worrying about things I couldn’t control. This was my life and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me what to do with it. “I’m not going home with you,” I managed between sucking in great gulps of air.
He moved to the side to let an alarmed looking nurse past as she rushed to my bed. He didn’t answer, but his smile did get wider.
My heart sunk. I was screwed.
Chapter Two
Ralph
She’s okay … she’s okay … she’s okay…
No matter how many times I told myself that—saw it with my own damn eyes—I couldn’t control the near overwhelming nausea that I had forced back time and time again since scooping her off the floor in the bakery. It had fast become a mantra, only instead of releasing me from it’s hold, it had gotten louder and louder, until I couldn’t think straight.
I didn’t want to think straight, not if it meant behaving myself and following the rules she’d laid down years ago. If she thought for one goddamned second that I was letting her walk out of here on her own, she didn’t know me as well as she thought. She was mine. Did she not realize what she did to me? The pain I carried, it was for her. Only her. For no other would I have conceded to this harebrained plan.
I’d done as she asked: I’d left her alone. Respected her wishes. Waited for her to come to her senses.
It’d
been fucking torture—nights of wondering if I’d cashed out my sanity for good.
I watched as the nurse checked Connie’s machine, her eyes sliding off her patient and over to me with an appreciative glint.
“She wants to go home.” I directed her attention back to her patient with a tight smile.
Ignoring Connie, the nurse turned to me, giving me her full attention in the form of a high wattage smile. “Mr—?” She tapped a finger on the bed sheets while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She was new on shift; I hadn’t seen her before.
“Everson,” a decidedly grumpy voice snapped from behind the nurse.
“Mr. Everson,” the nurse continued, patting Connie’s knee without breaking eye contact. Impressive, really. “The doctor needs to come do his final check, but she should be able to be released later today.”
“Now.” Connie sounded like she was loosing her temper. Normally level headed—unless speaking to yours truly—the bite in her voice had my mouth edging up in a grin.
Well, well. I’d gotten to her.
Unfortunately, the nurse mistook my grin as interest, her back arching and hip thrusting out to the side. “Have you had something to eat recently, Mr. Everson? I could show you—”
“I’m fine,” I cut in smoothly, flicking my eyes to the door. “Maybe you could chase up the doctor for me, sweetheart?” Looking over her shoulder, I clocked the look of annoyance on my future mate’s face, holding in my chuckle but letting my grin widen.
“Sure, thing, honey. Let me know if you get hungry.” The nurse sashayed past me, putting a little extra oomph into her hips while throwing me a wink.
“Why not add her to your list?”
Yup. She was definitely grumpy, and I detected a hint of waspishness, if I wasn’t mistaken. Retaking my seat on the edge of her bed, I ignored her hand shooing me away and planted my hand on the far side of her hip. “What list would that be?”
