With heavy feet she followed him up the pathway through the garden and was greeted by a spacious and lovely home. She noted the incredible landscape photographs hanging from various walls in dazzling colors, from picturesque rain forests to desert sunsets and spectacular ocean views.
An image of a gallery with photos such as these flickered across the wall in her mind and she tried to hold onto it before it slipped away again. Knowing he was a photographer, she wondered whether this was his work. This would add a whole new dimension to her opinion of him. Perhaps she’d been attracted to his artistic side. Maybe she was with him because she thought he’d changed, and she was unaware of his indiscretions.
She stood staring at a desert sunset, which seemed so familiar, it evoked feelings of warmth and love.
For some reason, for the first time in her life, she felt like this was where she belonged, and she was finally home.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Lost Love
Discovering Isabelle staring at the same photograph she’d been intrigued by in his former apartment, what seemed like forever ago, brought back more than vague memories for Mitch.
His heart ached to hold her and reassure her of his love and devotion.
Anton Ferrera was lucky he hadn’t survived the crash. Mitch’s black feelings resurfaced towards the man who destroyed his life with Isabelle.
He showed her to her room, before distancing himself from the source of his despair by sitting out on the balcony. He heard Jesse helping Carol prepare lunch in the kitchen while he tried to find the strength to overcome his intense emotions.
If Isabelle’s current attitude towards him continued, he wasn’t sure he would be able to suffer through her continued presence here. When Carol hobbled out to let him know lunch was ready, he excused himself and remained seated outside.
Isabelle ventured from her room and listened for the sounds of her mother and son. To her complete surprise she discovered the outlay of the house seemed familiar somehow and she felt as though she’d been here before. Of course I have, we were going to move in here. Surely, I’ve seen the house already.
The triggered memory eased her confusion a little. As she walked through the kitchen, she caught a glimpse of the view from the balcony outside and this evoked an overwhelming feeling of joy. Is this how she felt when she was here last?
“Mom, have I been here before?” she asked as she joined her mother. Jesse was nowhere in sight, so she assumed he was in his room. She welcomed the opportunity to talk freely to Carol.
“Yes, honey. Mitch showed us the house the day after his gallery opening. Do you remember?”
“It’s not a memory, but a feeling. As I walked around this house, I felt… happy.”
“That’s how you felt when we were here. You were in love and the happiest I’ve ever seen you, aside from the day Jesse was born, that is.”
“I felt something similar when I saw one of the photographs hanging just inside the door… wait a minute, did you say gallery opening?”
“Yes, Mitch has an exhibition of his work. The opening was a huge success. He received rave reviews and sold half of his photos that night. Since then he has sold the remaining prints and has orders for more. He’s supposed to be filling those orders at the moment, but I haven’t seen him do any since I got here. He spends all his time with Jesse. He has given up the modelling shoots too, not just because he doesn’t need the income, but also because he doesn’t want to give you reason to doubt him.”
“You really are convinced of his sincerity, aren’t you?”
“There’s no doubt in mind.”
“I… this is so hard.” For the first time since waking and realizing years of her life was lost, she felt sad and afraid. A single tear escaped, and she wiped it away in exasperation. “It’s frustrating not being able to remember anything.” She just wanted her life back.
“Mitch told me what you said to him outside.” Carol held up a hand. “Before you say anything, he didn’t volunteer the information I pried it out of him while you were in your room. That isn’t the Isabelle I know.” Her stern look reminded Isabelle of her childhood and she was suitably chastised.
“I don’t know who I am anymore.” She choked back a sob. “There’s something I haven’t told you.” Carol’s response was to raise her eyebrows. “When I woke up that first day, there was something there. There still is, this all-consuming feeling I’m scared of. When I heard those things about him, I shut it off, and have been pushing him away, but I don’t think it’s been intentional. I have lost years of my life and it scares me. He is a stranger to me, but I can’t deny this… attraction. I feel this pull towards him. I don’t know what to do.”
“This is good news, Isabelle! Talk to him. Maybe when he talks about your time together it will trigger more than just your feelings, like it has with Jesse. You said you remembered the gallery and the house. It’s worth a try.”
“It’s crazy, it’s like I’m in love with a stranger, like being in love with a celebrity or something. I still don’t know whether Adele was telling the truth. And until I remember, I can’t take the chance. I’ll talk to him, but I can’t trust him unless I remember. It has to be this way. It’s the only way I know how.”
“He’s hurting, Isabelle, a lot. You don’t feel that way if you don’t care.”
“I didn’t say he didn’t care. I just don’t know if he is… honorable. What I said to him about the house today, part of me feels as though he bought the house out of guilt.”
“Go and talk to him.”
With a determined nod, Isabelle rose from the table and with tentative steps joined him on the balcony.
“Do you mind if I sit with you?”
He jumped as though she startled him, before gesturing towards a chair. She couldn’t help but notice he wouldn’t look at her.
“I think we need to talk.” He said nothing so she continued. “I want to apologize for what I said today. It was uncalled for. What Adele told me at the hospital was still fresh in my mind and I jumped to conclusions. I want to try and remember you and I’m asking you to help me.”
“Are you going to believe what I tell you?” His tone sounded tight as though he held back all emotion from his voice.
“Yes. You have given me no reason not to, but other people have. You’re good with Jesse and we appear to be serious about each other so I’m going to trust my instincts.”
“What do you want to know?” His eyes remained stuck on the horizon and his voice hesitant.
“You said we met at a modelling shoot. Did I agree to go out with you at that time?”
“No, because of my reputation.” She noticed he almost spat the word on the decking at their feet. “Much like now actually.” A small smile touched his lips and seeing it again for the first time evoked a familiar tingle.
“So, what happened then?”
“You changed your mind.”
“Why?”
“I stopped doing what you disapproved of.”
“Oh.” She paused for a moment to digest the information and see if it rang any bells, to no avail. “Where did we go on our first date?”
“Fontaine’s.”
Mitch kept his answers brief on purpose. Not only was he surprised she was taking the time to ask him, but he decided giving too many details would create images he gave her rather than recollecting them herself.
“The Italian restaurant? I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“That’s what you said that night too.”
“Oh.” He brought his eyes to hers for the first time since she’d joined him, and she smiled. He offered a quick, hesitant smile in return. His heart yearned to hold her and his hands to touch her but he showed her none of this. “Where else did we go together?”
“Jared and Charlotte’s wedding.” She stared at him. “My brother.”
“Sorry, I’m not getting anything yet, keep going.”
“The park with Jesse near your old apartmen
t, we went there a lot.”
Recognition passed over her face and his heart sped up in anticipation.
“Did you take photos of us one day, photos you showed to Jesse on your camera?”
“Yes,” he said, hearing the hope in his voice and mentally kicking himself for it. “The first day I met Jesse. He planted himself on my lap so he could look at the photos.” He smiled at the memory and couldn’t help seeing the irony of him remembering and not her.
“I had a flash of something like that when I was in the hospital.”
“You did? That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it means what I remembered was real.”
“What do you mean real?”
“I’ve dreamt about you.”
His heart skipped a beat. Perhaps all was not lost. “Oh, yeah? Care to elaborate?” She blushed and shook her head. “What else do you remember?”
“The photo of the desert sunset of near the front door… it wasn’t a memory but a feeling, and then I had a flash of a gallery and Mom confirmed you have an exhibit. I don’t remember vivid images, mostly feelings.”
“It’s a start, I guess.” Mitch hoped the disappointment wasn’t evident in his expression. “If you remember anything else you can ask me about it and I can tell you more, see if it triggers something.”
“Okay, I will. Please, can you do something for me?”
“I would do anything for you, Izzy.”
“Will you please join us at mealtimes? Jesse seems to enjoy your company and avoiding each other may make it harder for me to remember.”
“Sure, if you think it will help.”
She nodded, smiled and went back inside.
Excitement and confusion played havoc with his senses.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Bad Memories
Every day Isabelle recalled little memories and images of Jesse and Mitch.
There were never complete memories of events, just flashes and scenes and this continued to frustrate her.
To celebrate Jesse’s birthday, Mitch organized a special dinner. Isabelle was grateful for his thoughtfulness, as she obviously hadn’t remembered. The restaurant seemed vaguely recognizable, as all her memories were. Jesse advised her they had been there before with Mitch and this prompted a quick and short memory once again. Each time something sprung up in her mind, Isabelle tried to hold onto it, but wasn’t always successful in doing so.
Although she began to trust in Mitch and was impressed by his kindness and feelings for her, niggling doubt remained in her mind, a memory she couldn’t quite capture and seemed important. Just like every other indistinct recollection hovering in her mind. Aside from their polite chats, when she sought insight into a memory, she kept him at a safe distance and remained a polite house guest.
Regardless of this, Mitch had been sweet and considerate. Not once did he pressure her to remember when she asked him questions about certain glimpses of the past. He filled her in with patience and she could see in his eyes what she meant to him when he spoke. Her feelings for him grew as each day passed, not because she started to remember, but because of the man he appeared to be. Remembering his kisses and caresses, even for short moments, also had her wanting to experience them in reality. Perhaps if she did, it would bring something to the surface.
Now that Carol had recovered and was able to walk unassisted, she desired some fresh air and took Jesse to the beach. Isabelle decided to take this opportunity to relive a kiss and see what it produced. She found him sitting on the balcony looking out at the blue-green ocean as the bright sun warmed the sand. She noted he seemed to sit out here a lot and wondered if he found solace there.
The quiet lashing of the waves against the shore and cliffs created a relaxing ambiance and she could feel her worries drain away when she joined him, until nerves crept up and bit her.
The past days had been painful yet hopeful for Mitch. Isabelle remembered little things and she appeared to have warmed to him. This did little to reduce the ache in his heart and his longing to touch her. Seeing her gaze at him with a vague recognition also tore at his chest. Gone were the loving gazes and happy grins; instead there were casual, confused glances and polite smiles. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could persevere without forcing the issue. He wanted to push aside the barrier he’d been forced to put up and take what was his.
Mitch watched the waves crash into the shore and heard Jesse’s happy voice in the distance where he and Carol were at the beach. This meant that he and Isabelle were alone.
This sent him crazy with the urge to forget his decision not to pressure her and take what he wanted, then demand her memories return with passion and tenderness. Reliving their nights together in his mind was like rubbing salt into an open wound, but he couldn’t control the thoughts invading his mind. If only Isabelle had the same problem. When he heard footsteps behind him, it took all his willpower to still the erratic thumping of his heart and remain seated.
“It’s so nice out here. I can see why you spend a lot of time here, besides avoiding me, of course.”
“I’m not avoiding you. I just keep my distance, so I don’t jump you.”
His smile was a quick ironic one. Mitch recognized this was the first joke he’d made in weeks. Her spontaneous laugh sent shivers over his skin to hear it again.
“I’ve had a few more flashes and I was wondering if you could help me.”
“Of course, I always do. Why are you asking me this time?” He held his breath. Not because of what her answer would be, but also because she smelt like vanilla and it reminded him of their first date. He wished he didn’t remember too. His senses overloaded as her scent engulfed him.
“These memories are different from the others and I don’t want to make things more difficult for you than they already are.”
Isabelle placed a hand on his thigh, and he stiffened. His breath caught again; this was the first time she’d touched him since the accident.
“It’s okay,” he said, breathing out. “Go ahead.”
Noticing his voice had deepened into a throaty tone increased her urge to kiss him. When she stood, then sat on his lap, she heard his breath catch again and desire filled his eyes.
Throwing her arms around his neck she sought his full lips. A loud groan emitted from deep in his throat and he returned her kiss with intense passion. The build-up of tension inside him seemed to be released into his kiss.
Hands became buried in each other’s hair and warmth crept through her veins. The feel of his lips against hers, though forgotten, nevertheless felt familiar. At that moment she knew, without remembering, that she was in love with him. His hands cupped her face and eased her back so he could look into her eyes. Everything she needed to know could be found there.
Her eyes, heavy with desire, were a brilliant green and he groaned again. The feel of her lips, her hands on him again drove him crazy.
“Izzy, if we keep doing this, I’m not going to be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to,” she whispered.
Disbelief shadowed his thoughts for a moment, before he brought her lips back to his with tenderness at first and then deepened the kiss. His imagination had been nowhere near as good as the real thing and he became impatient for more. The days of tension and built up desire went into overdrive and it took all his control to stop himself from throwing her to the deck and taking what he wanted.
He craved to savor her, so he pushed aside the urge to rush. Holding her in his arms, he stood and carried her to his room, the one originally meant to be theirs.
Just like their first time as, in essence, it was the first time for her, he went slowly. For him, experiencing it fresh through her eyes would be absolute bliss and it would be the only good thing to come from her accident. He relished every morsel, every inch of her skin and took delight in watching her experience him again.
Her satisfied smile as they lay together side by side afterwards filled him with hope. Starting a
gain seemed to have some benefit.
“Now I know why we’re together,” she said, her tone teasing and relaxed.
“You were pretty happy the first time round.” He grinned. “It got better too.”
“Everything felt foreign but familiar at the same time. It was like recognizing someone’s face, but not knowing their name.”
“I’ve missed you so much. Even though you’re living here, it wasn’t the same. I missed us.”
Before his eyes a shocked and dismayed look passed over her face and she frowned as though she saw something she didn’t like. She sat up and her expression changed to disgust.
What just happened?
“You did it again! You lured me in again. You took advantage of the fact that I don’t remember what you did. Adele was right about you!”
“Izzy, babe, what are you talking about?”
“After the first time, you didn’t turn up at a shoot we had together. Then the morning after that I caught you flirting with some girl… it’s not clear, but I remember.” She climbed from the bed and started to dress.
He sat on the end and wondered the best way to approach the situation. This she remembered.
“Do you remember there was an explanation?”
“No.” Almost dressed now, she stared at him with continued disdain. He rose and pulled on his pants, in case she fled. “I don’t want to hear it,” she spat out. “I obviously fell for your lies the first time and I’m not going to be fooled again. I knew there was something bothering me and why I was reluctant to believe you.”
“Izzy,” he said, reaching out towards her. She glared at him and took a step back. “Isabelle, my heart can’t take much more of this. If you’re going to give me some speech about not being able to trust me, I don’t want to hear it! I’m in love with you, I think I was from the moment I saw you. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, and you brought my emotions out of hiding. I can’t change what I did in the past, but I have never and would never do anything to hurt you. When I thought you were going to die, I thought I would as well.”
The Player (Broken Wishes Series Book 3) Page 18
