Once there, she paced back and forth on the carpeting at the foot of the bed, wondering when Kent Keller would call, when her presence would be required in Chicago, when her time here in Mustang would end.
Jesse came home just after noon and sent Vic home. “There’s a town meeting tonight,” Jesse said to Allison, who was sitting on the sofa listening to a soap opera when he’d come home. “Most of the town usually turns out for these things and I have to be there. I’d like it if you go with me.”
“Sure,” she replied flippantly. “After all, we need to keep up appearances…the dutiful wife-to-be and all that.” There was an edge of sarcasm in her voice that she hadn’t intended. The weight of her love for him battled with the knowledge that they had no future together.
Jesse was silent for a long moment. “You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to.”
Shame washed over Allison. “Of course I’ll go.” She waved her hands dismissively. “Don’t mind me. I just had a moment of crankiness.”
“I forgive you…as long as it’s an isolated moment in time.” His voice was filled with good-natured humor. “I brought you a present,” he said.
“A present?”
He placed a large dress box on her lap. “Yeah, consider it an early or late birthday present.”
“Early. My birthday is next month.” She removed the top of the box and pulled aside a layer of tissue paper. Her fingers encountered material…the slick cool of silk.
“It’s a dress,” he said before she could ask. “I thought maybe you’d wear it to the town meeting tonight.”
“Oh, Jesse, it feels beautiful.” She smiled at him. “And I’ll bet it isn’t blue.”
“You bet right. It’s green, and I hope it’s the right size.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” she assured him, touched that he’d gone to the trouble to get her something. She frowned as a new worry niggled in the back of her brain. “Jesse, did you buy this for me because my clothes look so bad?”
“No!” He sat next to her. “Not at all. You always look nice. I just thought…I wanted…” He stumbled over himself and Allison heard embarrassment in his voice. “I wanted you to have a green dress, something to match your eyes,” he finally confessed.
He stood. “It’s not a big deal, I just wanted you to have it. I’ve got some calls to make. I’ll talk to you later.”
Allison knew by the direction of his footsteps that he’d gone into the kitchen. Again Allison’s fingers danced over the material, her heart as warm as the silk was cool.
He’d bought her a dress. A green dress to match her eyes.
Was that the action of a man who thought of her only as a job? As his duty? Or was that the action of a man who harbored a well of grief and guilt about a past trauma and was now using her to heal that pain?
This thought caused the warmth in her heart to cool to the temperature of the fabric.
Jesse sat up straighter in the wooden chair, trying to keep his attention focused on Elena Richards, who was discussing the possibility of a bronze statue for the city park.
The town meeting had been going on for about an hour, but Jesse had found concentration difficult from the moment Allison had walked out of her bedroom wearing the silk green dress.
She’d been more beautiful than he’d imagined. The dress fit her as if tailored just for her, emphasizing her slender waist and the full curve of her breasts. The full skirt swirled around her knees, exposing slender, shapely calves.
But it was the color that lit her up. The deep green perfectly matched her eyes and complemented the rich gleam of her hair. And in that first moment of seeing her, Jesse had realized his feelings for her went far beyond duty and deeper than desire.
He stirred, wishing she weren’t sitting next to him, wishing he couldn’t smell her perfume, feel her body heat where their thighs touched.
He was in love with her, and he didn’t like the way she made him feel. He was anxious…joyous…nervous…excited, and beneath those myriad emotions was the certainty that eventually she would disappear from his life, leaving him only the memories of her wearing the damnable green dress and the feel of her in his arms.
Casting her a surreptitious sideways look, his heart expanded with emotion. He loved her, but he didn’t want to just be an option for her. She couldn’t see, had no life to return to, and so might opt to remain in Mustang with him because she didn’t know what else to do. No, that’s not how he wanted it.
Her blindness bothered him only in that it bothered her. She refused to accept it, refused to acknowledge that it might be permanent and therefore refused to contemplate what the future might hold for her.
Frustration added itself into the mix of his emotions. Whether she stayed or left Mustang, he wanted—needed—to know she could adjust, make a life for herself even if she remained blind.
As Millicent Creighton stepped up to the podium, he directed his attention to her. He listened absently as she spoke about the upcoming fall festival and the plans for the event, including a carnival in the high school gymnasium for the children to enjoy.
Finally the meeting came to an end and Jesse and Allison joined the others near the refreshment table for a few minutes of social chatter.
“Would you like some punch?” he asked Allison.
“That would be nice,” she agreed.
“There are also cookies.”
“No, just punch is fine,” she replied.
“I’ll be right back.” He touched her arm to assure her, then headed for the punch bowl. By the time he got two glasses of punch, Millicent, along with Marissa Crockett, had joined Allison.
“I couldn’t believe it when Marissa told me you hadn’t contacted her about flowers for your wedding ceremony,” Millicent was saying as Jesse returned. “My dear, you just can’t put these things off until the last minute and expect everything to be perfect. The magical day is approaching and you really must start making plans.”
“Perhaps they’ve decided to go to another florist,” Marissa said, obviously embarrassed by Millicent’s usual steamroller tactics.
“No, that’s not it at all,” Allison assured them.
“It’s my fault,” Jesse interjected. He handed Allison her glass of punch then smiled at Marissa. “Cecilia has been after me to make time to go with her into your shop and pick out flowers, but work has been keeping me so busy.”
Millicent held up her hands, the action causing the stuffed canary atop her straw hat to tilt precar iously to the side. “Please, let’s not mention that dreadful man and his horrible crimes.”
Jesse nodded. The last thing he wanted to discuss was Casanova. “Anyway, we’ll try to get in to talk with you in the next week or two,” he said to Marissa.
Marissa nodded, then excused herself as Millicent turned back to Allison. “My dear, we are in desperate need for volunteers to help at the carnival. I know as the sheriff’s new bride, you’ll want to be one of our volunteers.”
“Certainly,” Allison agreed, although Jesse knew as well as she did that she probably wouldn’t be in Mustang when the fall festival and the carnival took place.
“Wonderful,” Millicent exclaimed, and pulled a small notebook from her purse. “Now, let me see where we need people. We need ticket sellers at the door.” She frowned. “But that won’t work, will it?” She scanned the notebook again. “And I don’t think it would do to put you in charge of the shooting gallery.”
“Probably not,” Allison agreed, her cheeks growing more pink by the moment.
“Well, I’m sure we can come up with something,” Millicent said as she closed her notebook. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked the moment Millicent had left them.
“Fine. I’m just a little tired.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He took her by the elbow and led her toward the door of the community building. Before they could make their exit, Vic appeared.
“Wow, don’t
you look nice,” he said to Allison.
She smiled, her face lighting up with the gesture. Heat exploded in the pit of Jesse’s stomach. The heat of desire. “Thanks, Vic,” she replied. “And I’m sure you’re looking just fine yourself, too.”
Jesse was surprised to see the big deputy blush with pleasure at her words. “Ah, I just look normal,” Vic exclaimed.
It would appear his deputy had developed a small crush on his fiancée, Jesse thought with a touch of amusement. The amusement fled as quickly as it had come.
She was not his fiancée, and why wouldn’t Vic have a crush on her? Allison was not only beautiful, but genuinely nice, as well. Any man would be proud to have her in his life.
He would be proud to have her in his life. He frowned and took her by the arm. “We were just on our way out,” he said to Vic.
“Oh, sure. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Vic nodded and headed toward the refreshment table.
They rode home in silence. Jesse had no idea what thoughts were playing through her head, but his was filled with irritation.
He was irritated with her, for being bright and beautiful and the kind of woman he could love. And he was irritated with himself, for allowing himself to fall in love with a woman who should have remained a job and nothing more.
She was a woman in transition—not a great bet for forever. When Keller called, she’d be gone, back to a life in Chicago. He wasn’t clear what that life would be if her blindness didn’t abate, but she’d never indicated that she would consider a life here in Mustang.
He gripped the steering wheel more tightly. Besides, he’d promised himself a long time ago he would never allow his heart to be vulnerable to another person.
Better he keep his feelings for her to himself, better that he never hold her in his arms again, never kiss her sweet lips. It was time for him to distance himself and prepare for the time when she would walk out of his life and never look back.
When they walked into the house, the phone was ringing. Jesse raced for the phone while Allison sat on the sofa.
“Sheriff Wilder?” A familiar deep voice filled the line.
“Yes.” Jesse listened intently to what Kent Keller had to say to him, then the two men said their goodbyes and hung up.
Jesse turned to Allison. “That was Kent Keller.”
She leaned forward, tension instantly apparent in her posture. “And?”
“And it’s all over. They’ve arrested not only the officers responsible for your sister’s and brother-in-law’s deaths, but also the rest of the Renegade Eight.”
Her body sagged back against the sofa cushions. “Thank God,” she whispered. “Now John and Alicia can rest in peace.”
“There’s more good news,” he continued. “They’re not going to need you to testify.”
She frowned. “Why not?”
“Number one, for the obvious reason. Your sight hasn’t returned, so you can’t make a visual identification. A jury would certainly have problems believing your eyewitness testimony. Number two, they don’t need you. One of the shooters is singing like a bird. For the offer of immunity, he’s turning on his partners in crime.”
“So it’s finally over,” she said.
Jesse was happy for her, but his happiness was tempered with the knowledge that there was nothing more to keep her in Mustang. “Kent will be here first thing in the morning on the day after tomorrow to take you home.”
“Home.” She echoed the word without enthusiasm and he wondered what was going on in her mind. Would she miss Mustang just a little? Miss him?
What difference does it make if she did miss him? A little voice whispered in the back of his mind. She needed to go home and get her life back on track.
In two days’ time she’d be gone from his life. How ironic, that she’d been the one to pump life into his heart just in time to break it into little pieces.
Chapter 12
Home.
The following morning as Shelly chattered about her breakthrough with Sam, Allison thought about the fact that in twenty-four hours she was going home.
Home to a silent, lonely apartment. Home to a business she could no longer run. Home to a place that had never really felt like home.
When had this house in Mustang become her home? When had she begun to feel as if she belonged here…with Jesse? It didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to stay. She would return to Chicago with Kent Keller and try to pick up the pieces of the life she’d left behind.
Jesse deserved a woman who could be a productive volunteer at the yearly carnival. Her face burned as she thought of Millicent Creighton, desperately trying to figure out how Allison might be useful, helping out at the carnival. Allison had never felt so ineffectual, so useless in her life.
Jesse deserved a woman who could be a helpmate to him, not a liability. He deserved a woman who could add to his life, not further burden it.
She’d once again been bitterly disappointed when she’d opened her eyes that morning to the same veil of darkness. She’d thought with the murders solved and the bad guys in jail, her sight would miraculously return. But it hadn’t happened.
“Anyway, so I told him he needed a real woman in his life, not another one of the bimbos he’s been dating,” Shelly said. “So tonight Sam is taking me out to dinner and to a movie.” Shelly’s voice was filled with her happiness.
Allison focused on Shelly’s conversation. “Shelly, I’m so pleased for you. I know how much you like Sam,” Allison replied.
“Yeah, the big lug has definitely captured my heart. Now all I have to do is by the end of tonight convince Sam I’m the only one for him.”
Allison wanted to warn her to go slow, not to sleep with Sam until she had a ring on her finger and a commitment from him.
Sharing the kind of intimacy that sex involved made saying goodbye so much more difficult. Allison’s heart ached with the knowledge that in twenty-four hours she would be saying goodbye to Jesse forever.
“How about some lunch?” Shelly asked. “I could whip us up a big salad, or maybe heat up some soup.”
“None for me. I’m not hungry,” Allison said. Besides, before he’d left for work that morning, Jesse had said he’d be home for lunch. She’d much prefer to eat lunch with him, knowing it might be the last meal they shared. “But feel free to help yourself,” she added.
“Nah, I’m not really hungry, either,” Shelly replied. “I’m too excited about tonight to eat.”
Allison realized she was going to miss Shelly. Shelly had not only been a guardian, but had become a friend, as well.
Allison had hated the fact that she hadn’t been able to really confide in Shelly because of the threat to her life. Now she realized that threat had been removed and there was nothing keeping her from telling Shelly everything.
“Shelly, my name isn’t Cecilia. My name is Allison Welch,” she said.
“What are you talking about?” Shelly asked in surprise.
For the next few minutes, Allison told Shelly about the crime that occurred and the events that had ultimately brought her to Mustang and Jesse Wilder.
Shelly interrupted her from time to time to ask questions, obviously surprised by what Allison was telling her.
“I have to confess, you’ve depressed me,” Shelly said when Allison had finished.
“Depressed you?”
“Yeah. I mean, you’re leaving in the morning to go back to Chicago, and Chicago is a long way from here. That means we’ll probably never see each other again.” Shelly took Allison’s hand in hers. “I feel like I’m losing a new friend.”
Allison squeezed Shelly’s hand, touched by her admission. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
“So the engagement and the pending wedding between you and Jesse was all a ruse,” Shelly said, releasing her hand. “Wow, you guys should be awarded a trophy for your acting skills. I mean, I’ve seen you two together, and I could have sworn what I saw in Jesse’s eyes when he looks at you is love.”
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Her words caused unexpected tears to spring to Allison’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” Allison forced a self-conscious laugh and quickly swiped at her eyes.
“Oh, my gosh. It wasn’t pretend for you, was it? You’re in love with Jesse.” It was not a question, but rather a statement of fact.
Again, tears filled Allison’s eyes. “Yes, I am,” she whispered, as if speaking the words aloud might shatter the last of her control.
“Have you told him?” Shelly asked.
Allison shook her head. “No, and I don’t intend to.”
“Why not? Don’t you think he deserves to know how you feel about him?”
“There’s no point,” Allison replied. “Jesse and I don’t have a future together. Besides, I’ve just been a job to him, somebody who was placed in his care for protection. He’s never indicated to me that I’m anything else to him.”
Shelly released a long, deep sigh. “Men stink. Sometimes I think I’d be better off staying single. I’ll be one of those old maids with blue hair and lots of cats.”
Allison laughed despite her tears. She couldn’t imagine anyone less likely to be an old maid. Shelly was far too vivacious, far too giving to spend her life alone.
“I have a feeling Sam Black won’t know what hits him this evening. Within a year you two will be married and expecting a miniature Sam or Shelly.”
“From your lips to God’s ears!” Shelly exclaimed. “I can’t think of anything more wonderful.” Shelly sighed once again. “I still think Jesse deserves to know how you feel about him. I mean, maybe he’s in love with you but just too shy or afraid to tell you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Allison said miserably. “Even if he loves me, we could never have a future together.”
“I must be missing something here because I don’t understand. Why can’t you guys be together if you love one another?”
“Shelly, I’m blind. Jesse needs a wife who can be his partner, his helpmate. I’m nothing but a burden to him, and I love him too much to marry him. He’d have to make too many sacrifices with me as a wife.”
“But you said your blindness is hysterical. Doesn’t that mean it could return at any time? What if you leave here, push Jesse out of your life, then your blindness goes away?”
Imminent Danger Page 14
