“No way, buddy,” she snaps, drawing my attention back to the now.
“No way, what?” I ask.
“We’re not fucking,” she says, calling out my dirty thoughts.
“Why not? Your plan is working just fine because all I want to do right now is test the durability of your lipstick,” I joke as I take a few steps closer to her.
Shaking her head at me like I’m an errant child, she says, “Not happening. You cannot show up at church smelling of sex, and I’m not into blow jobs, remember? You want her to think we’re fucking not actually confirm it.”
“You think she’s not letting her fiancé bend her over before they leave? I know Quinn, and sex is very much a part of her daily routine.” It’s probably her number one priority if I'm honest.
“Illusion, Alex. We don’t need to actually fuck to make her jealous. She’ll do that all on her own with her imagination. And trust me, her imagination will be far better than anything we can bang out in the next five minutes. So shut your dick down and go put on this shirt. The green will make your eyes look fantastic.”
Alex
“You ready for this part?” I ask Tiffany as we head up the walkway to Ashley and Tanner’s front door. The church part of today was quick and easy. In and out. I didn’t really have a chance to properly introduce Tiffany. The time is now. I know she was worried about this earlier, so I just want to make sure she’s still doing okay.
“So ready,” she smiles. “I have a feeling today’s going to be a lot of fun. Ashley and Tanner know about the real us, right?”
The real us? “What does that mean?” I ask confused.
“That we’re friends, and we’ve had sex, but I’m into girls. That I have no illusions about you falling madly in love with me and getting married and having a brood of babies,” she explains, laughing.
“Yes, they know. But please don’t be offended if they question you more about how we can be friends after sleeping together. Tanner and Ash have had a terrible experience with a friend with benefits scenario before.” I cringe thinking back to how much havoc that little bitch, Melissa, wreaked on Tag and Ash.
“Sounds like there’s a story there. But it will have to wait for another time. We need to get in there and establish ourselves before Quinn and her man get here,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the front doors. “And we’re not friends with benefits. It was one time. And I still prefer vag,” she throws over her shoulder.
I ring the bell before heading into the house. Behind the doors is a cluster of servers weaving in and out with trays of food and drink. I search out the proud parents through the chaos. We almost run over Ashley as we make our way back to the kitchen.
“Oh, you’re here. Can you take Michaela? I need to help the staff out on the deck,” she smiles, handing over my little princess.
“Of course I can. Come to Uncle Alex, baby girl,” I coo as I grab Michaela and kiss her forehead.
“I’ll go help out back; you need to just relax for a minute. Everything’s fine, Ash,” Tanner says as he appears behind Ashley and wraps an arm around her.
“I know, but the tables aren’t set up the right way,” she says, leaning into his embrace.
“And I understand how you want them done. You’ve only told me a hundred times in the last week. Spend some time with Alex before it gets crazy here. I know how much you’ve missed him.” And he walks away before she has a chance to protest.
“So you missed me, huh?” I tease as I bump Ash with my hip.
“Of course I have. No need to get all cocky about it. I’m dealing with enough ego around here thanks to Superstar over there,” she says with a nod of her head. Superstar. I haven’t heard that nickname in a long time, and I’m surprised by the effect it has on me.
Sensing the change in my demeanor, like the good friend she is, Tiffany grabs my hand and squeezes. “You okay?” she whispers.
Nodding, I answer honestly. “Yeah, it’s just been a while since I heard anyone refer to Tanner as Superstar.”
Ashley’s face falls as she realizes what I’m saying. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay, Ash. There are always going to be things that remind me of Quinn,” I tell her, squeezing Tiff’s hand for support. I feel like a fucking bitch, getting emotional over a stupid nickname my ex gave my best friend.
“Is she here yet?” Tiffany asks. I don’t want to know the answer to that question right now, so I decide to change the subject.
“I’m such an ass,” I say when I realize properly introducing Tiffany and Ashley is the perfect distraction to Quinn. “Ashley, this is my friend Tiffany Michaels. Tiffany, this is Ashley Garrison.”
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Tiffany says extending her hand to Ashley. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Ashley says, taking Tiff’s hand. “Thank you so much for taking care of Alex while he was out in the desert.”
Rolling my eyes, I tell her. “It was Scottsdale, not the damn Sahara.”
“Whatever. They’re both hot as hell,” she says with the flip of her hand.
“You have a beautiful home,” Tiffany says. She’s trying to win Ashley over with kindness. She really doesn’t believe that Ashley and Tanner will like her regardless.
“Thank you. How do you like New York? Do you think it will be an easy adjustment for you?” Ashley asks.
Tiff doesn’t get a chance to answer because just as Ashley finishes her question, Quinn rounds the corner.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you…” Quinn’s words fade when she notices Tiffany and me standing there.
This is the closest we’ve been to each other in a very long time and everything kind of goes into overdrive. My heart rate picks up and my breathing slightly accelerates. Something flutters in my stomach and my eyes don’t want to look at anything but her.
I watch Quinn as she takes in the scene before her. Her eyes rake over me, zeroing in on Michaela. What the hell was that about? There’s no time to dwell on the thought because her gaze moves to Tiffany, staring her down. I can’t help but finding it amusing as Quinn gives her the death stare.
“Classy,” she murmurs before turning and taking her fiancé with her.
“Looks like today is going to be real fun. I told you to trust me,” Tiffany says, molding her body against mine. She beams up at me with a smile so genuine, anyone would think she’s really in love with me.
“You’re an evil mastermind. You could have a future in acting if the nursing thing doesn’t do it for you,” I say with a laugh as I hug her toward me with the free hand not holding Michaela.
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Ashley says, looking between us, her face giving away her confusion.
I’m unable to contain my grin as I answer, “Tiff here has a plan.”
“Yup, mission Get Quinn Back,” Tiff confirms with a devious smile of her own.
“Get Quinn back?” Ashley questions. “Where did that come from? Since when do you want to get her back? I thought you were enjoying your single life. ”
Tiff breaks out into full-blown laughter. “If by enjoying you mean trying to fuck her out of his system, then yeah. He’s been enjoying the single life.”
“You want her back?” she asks incredulously.
“I never wanted to let her go in the first place, Ash. I loved her then, and if I'm honest, I love her now. The last thing I want to see is her marry some other dude.” I haven’t admitted that to anyone other than Tiffany. I have trouble dealing with my emotions when it comes to Quinn. I think because I’ve spent so much effort keeping my feelings about her tamped down so I didn’t scare her. They overwhelm me now, so I distract myself with the lovely little bundle in my arms.
“Wow,” Ash says as she brings her hand to her face and wipes the corner of her eye as if my words caused her to tear up. “I’ve never heard you actually say those
words before, Alex.”
“Tell me more about this plan you have,” she says turning her attention to Tiffany now. If anyone knows Quinn as well as I do, it’s Ashley. Having her on our side will definitely be helpful.
“Well, it involves showing her just what she’s missing and something for her to be jealous of,” my plotting friend says with a smile to match.
Ashely hooks her arm through Tiffany’s. “I had a feeling I was going to like you.”
Quinn
“You’re working late tonight,” Jordan says as he walks into my condo with a bag from the café down the street. He called about an hour ago asking what I wanted to do for dinner. When I told him I have a ton to catch up on from the office today, he offered to grab me something on his way here, which has become our routine.
“Yeah, I didn’t get much done at the office today, so it had to come home with me,” I explain, setting the stack of papers from my lap on the coffee table. “That smells good,” I tell him, stretching as I get off the couch.
“I got you a turkey club. I hope that’s okay,” he smiles as he brings my dinner to the table.
“It’s perfect, thank you,” I say as I take a seat at the table.
“What’s going on with you? You seem pretty off this week,” Jordan asks as I pick through my dinner trying to find any interest in eating it.
Boy, if he only knew what a loaded question that really is. I know exactly what’s going on with me, but I wouldn’t dare tell Jordan seeing Alex over the weekend really has me rattled. Alex has invaded my mind so much, I haven’t been able to concentrate on a damn thing in days. This is a distraction I don’t need. There are barely enough hours in the day to get through everything as it is.
I knew seeing Alex would be very hard. It’s why I did everything in my power to avoid him since Ashley and Tanner’s wedding. If he was going to be somewhere, I made sure I wasn’t. He called me a lot after I left him at the reception, but I never had the courage to answer. I knew if I answered and he asked me back, I would do it. I like to think I’m strong, but I’ve never been when it came to Alex, breaking all my own rules left and right.
Alex always had the uncanny ability to see right through me. He could always see through everything I did and get right down to the real me. It was unnerving and exhilarating. He wouldn’t have had to ask me what’s wrong as Jordan just did. He always knew exactly what was wrong and how to fix it for me.
I thought I knew him like that as well. I thought he was the one who was going to change my view of the world, but joke’s on me. I didn’t know him. He had me fooled. He’s just like every other man in my life and that’s why I had to get away from him.
But apparently I haven’t been able to sever the connection between us. Even with all the reasons I know he's not good for me, a part of me doesn’t seem to care. After all this time, he can still pull me into his orbit. Can still make me feel things I don’t want to feel.
Like the feeling of evisceration at seeing him with another woman at the christening. I wasn’t prepared for that. I wanted to be mad at Ashley for letting him bring his new girlfriend to the party celebrating our goddaughter, but I couldn’t without admitting a part of me still felt something toward him. Do I still feel something for him?
If I didn’t feel anything for him, would I feel this way? I heard Ashley asking his girlfriend how she liked New York and if the move was easy for her. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, but she moved her entire life to the opposite coast to be with him. I hate her and her cock-sucking red lips. Who wears red lipstick to church?
I’ve never really been a jealous person but nonetheless that evil bitch of an emotion has nestled inside lately, making me envious. Envious of people in love. Envious of a woman I know nothing about. It makes me feel a longing for something that has been over for a while. Something that wasn’t going to ever turn into anything other than heartache.
I’m well aware of how things would’ve ended for me if I’d stayed with Alex so why do I feel like I have a huge gaping hole in my chest having seen him in the flesh? Alex never fully left our little circle. He was still there, just from a distance. Having him back here now seems to have caused a change in me. It’s not a change I like.
“Babe?” Jordan asks, grabbing my hand to get my attention. Shit! I forgot he asked me a question. Even when Alex isn’t in the room, he can still dominate my thoughts.
“I’m fine, just busy and stressed at work. Nothing I can’t handle,” I say, giving the fake smile I’ve perfected over the years. The smile that says I’m Quinn Taylor and nothing can get to me.
“There’s nothing you can’t handle,” he smiles at me, patting my hand.
For fuck’s sake. I have a perfectly good man in front of me, and I’m sitting here consumed with the one I left years ago. I need to stop thinking about the past and worry about the future. My future with Jordan is spelled out pretty well. We’re aware of where this leads. There're no exceptions, therefore, nothing that can really hurt me. Unless, I don’t go through with this wedding. Then my father can destroy me, but only if I let him.
“You’re too good to me. One day some lucky woman is going to hit the jackpot with you,” I say with a sincere smile this time.
“Yeah, some day,” Jordan whispers while looking down at his food. There’s a hint of something in his voice, but I can’t decipher what. And I have too much on my mind already to try and solve more puzzles.
We finish our dinner in relative silence before Jordan cleans up and gets ready to leave.
“I’m heading home,” he says with unusual slowness to his voice.
“Okay. Thank you so much for dinner. I’m sorry I wasn’t better company tonight,” I say walking over to the door.
“It’s fine with me. Any time spent with you is a good time,” he says wrapping me up in a hug. I don’t respond, but I do return his hug. His words have me thrown.
With a kiss on my forehead, he says, “I hope whatever’s on your mind works itself out for you. Have a good night, babe.”
Before I can say a word, he’s through the door and closing it behind him, leaving me standing here very confused about his strange behavior tonight. Why does it seem that everything in my life right now is upside down? My fiancé is acting like a fiancé. My ex-lover has me feeling all sorts of fucked feelings I don’t like. I miss my best friend. My father’s threat looms over me. Nothing is as it’s supposed to be. I don’t feel in control of anything, and that’s something that leaves me feeling worried. I need to be in control of everything right now. There’s just way too much at stake for my mind to be pulled in so many directions.
Glancing at the pile of work in my living room, I decide I’m done for the night. My brain’s fried, and nothing I do will be productive. A shower seems like it could do me wonders right now.
After finishing up my shower, my mind races to find ways to help fix all the craziness in my life. I can’t do anything about Alex, Jordan, or my father right now, but I can call my best friend and hope to bridge the gap growing between us. I head to the kitchen to grab my phone from the charger and then crawl into bed while dialing Ashley’s number. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, I notice it’s after ten. I hope she’s not already in bed or worse putting Michaela to bed. I don’t want to wake the baby.
I consider hanging up and texting when she doesn’t answer after several rings, but just as I pull the phone from my ear, Ashley’s giggling voice comes through the other end, “Hello?”
“Hey. I was just about to hang up. I thought maybe you were already sleeping,” I say with a smile. Sometimes a girl needs to hear her bestie’s voice to make her feel better. I’ve felt so disconnected from her for a little while. I hope that we can agree to disagree and move forward because I really need her right now.
Even though I seem like the tough one in our friendship, I’m not. If I had to go through everything Ash has gone through in the last couple of years, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. I need some
of her strength right now. I need her “Everything will be just fine” attitude.
“No, I’m not sleeping. I was getting into the car when you called, and it took me a minute to find my phone,” she says seemingly out of breath.
“Oh, being cooped up at home getting to you?” I ask.
“Yes. Alex and Tiffany asked us to dinner, and Margaret and Andrew offered to come over and spend some quality grandma/grandpa time with Michaela. Tanner said if I didn’t get out of the house soon, he feared I would go insane. So we went to dinner.”
Hearing they went out together as a couple with Alex and his new girlfriend hurts deep inside. I secretly want Ashley to hate her. I know it's juvenile and high-school-esque, but I need my best friend on my side of this. “Oh, that’s nice. So I guess you and Tanner like her?” Please say you hate her.
”Yes. Oh, my God, she’s great. She’s going to fit in here perfectly once she finally moves and gets settled.”
Ashley and I are the same in that we don’t typically get along with lots of people. I always liked the loner feeling of our friendship. The sense no one else really understands us but each other. Hearing her rave about this chick makes me sick to my stomach.
I know I shouldn’t encourage her to talk more about Tiffany, but I can’t help wanting to know certain things. Well, one thing in particular. “Why didn’t she move all her stuff when Alex moved his?” What kind of girlfriend who is planning on moving with her boyfriend doesn’t correlate the move together?
“I don’t know. I know she had interviews to go through and wasn’t sure if she was going to get the job or not,” she answers.
“So her moving out here with him was dependent on her finding a job first? That’s a pretty shitty thing for her to do. She should’ve moved with him first and then worried about it if their relationship means a damn to her.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve said too much. I shouldn’t care about their relationship. I shouldn’t care if Tiffany isn't putting Alex first. It’s not my problem.
Fallacy (Apprehensive Duet Book 1) Page 19
