“Tracen.” Honey’s voice broke through his thoughts like a sledgehammer through a wall.
He turned to face her, realizing that though he’d made it to his office, he hadn’t sat at his desk yet. He hadn’t even stepped behind the desk.
“What are you doing?” Her teasing smile couldn’t quite hide the worry in her eyes.
“I’m…” Tracen looked around to figure out what he needed to do. He’d rather shove the computer out the window than turn it on, and if he touched the pile of mail next to the phone, it was going to get ripped in half. He shrugged, forcing himself to look back at Honey. Sooner or later he’d have to admit that she was right. It would pain them both.
She stepped into the room and closed the door. “What happened?” she asked softly. The tenderness tore away his resolve to stay strong.
He rubbed away the moisture in his eyes. Tears were so stupid. Even angry, justified tears. “Emily is going back to California to film a sequel to Wonder Woman.”
Honey moved toward him slowly. Her strong, weathered hand reached out, but he stepped away.
“You were right,” he snapped, angrier at himself than at her. He sank down into his chair, wishing to be alone. He didn’t want to talk about it. Announcing Emily’s decision out loud would solidify his nightmare as reality.
“Oh no.” Honey sat across from him. At least she didn’t say, “I told you so.”
Tracen leaned his elbows onto the desk and knotted his hands through his hair until the roots resisted. “I should have listened to you.”
“I wish I’d been wrong, Tracen.” Her chair squeaked as she shifted. “Seeing you together this past week, I thought I was wrong. She seemed to adore you.”
Yeah, Emily adored him. She’d said so herself the first time he kissed her. And then when he’d lifted her up onto the counter she’d said his kisses were the best. They were good together, Emily and him. His kisses had only been the best because he was kissing her. Tracen tugged harder at his hair, trying to rid himself of the memory. “I know.” He groaned.
“Are you sure…”
Tracen looked up, willing her to say something that would ease the pressure that seemed to be compacting his internal organs. Was there anything he wasn’t sure about? Was there anything else he could do to change Emily’s mind? Could there still be hope?
She frowned in confusion. “Are you sure she won’t come back?”
A bitter laugh shook him. “She says she will. But so did Serena.” They both knew how that turned out.
“So Emily is planning to come back?” Honey scratched her head. “How long does filming take?”
“Honey.” She wasn’t helping. First she fought to keep him away from the actress, and now that he’d finally decided to step away, she wanted to reunite them? He needed her on his side. He needed all the support he could get.
Honey pressed her lips into a thin line before standing. “I’ll cover the phones if you want to go home early. Obviously you’re not capable of conversing civilly.”
Tracen rolled his eyes. Honey’s sympathy had its limits. “I’m not going home.” What did she expect him to do there? Write poetry and listen to sappy love songs?
No, he needed to take out some aggression. Pound nails or kick in a wall. That was it. He’d rip off the rickety railing on The Point’s balcony and rebuild. That way he could watch Emily filming downriver. The pang that shot through him at the idea should have had him admitting defeat and running home to Toto. But he couldn’t completely leave Emily, no matter how much he knew he needed to.
“I’ll rebuild the railing today.”
Honey lifted her chin. “About time.” Tracen ignored her comment, and she softened. “If you want to talk about Emily, I’ll be patching rafts.”
“Thanks.” But no thanks. He didn’t even want to think about Emily, not that he could stop. Her amazing performance on the trampoline. Her second ride on the mechanical bull. The way she teased his brothers.
Oh, boy. His brothers would have something to say about the split. He grabbed the toolbox from the storage room and tromped out onto the balcony, wondering what Emily was doing right then. Perhaps sitting in Char’s makeup chair. Or filming another stunt. Or wrapped in Jack’s arms. His stomach lurched despite the fact that it shouldn’t matter to him anymore.
Deep breath. He could do this. Mindlessly he pried nails from splintered wood. One nail at a time. One minute, one hour, one day at a time. Eventually they’d all run together, and maybe then he wouldn’t be so numb.
Casually he glanced down to the river. Bruce barked into his bullhorn from time to time, but still no Emily. He’d know if she was down there. He’d feel it.
“Tracen.” The soft voice came from behind him. It sounded sultrier than Emily’s, but if she’d been crying…
He spun around, and his pulse raced to catch up. Deep sigh. It wasn’t Emily. Just an emaciated blond who really should have eaten a cracker on her way through the restaurant. Something about her seemed familiar, but it didn’t matter to him at the moment. He’d help her as quickly as he could, then—
“Tracen, it’s me.”
That voice. Those over-plucked eyebrows. The mole above her lip. “Serena?” What was she doing here? And why now?
Her face relaxed into a smile, though it seemed gaunter than he remembered. “I’m back,” she announced.
She was back. She was back?
“I told you I’d return someday. I’m going to start a ballet studio here in town.”
Tracen felt himself nod and imagined he resembled a bobble head. Serena had come home. Everything he’d wanted for so long. Yet now it didn’t matter. Fate had twisted, and it was wringing him out like a sponge.
“How are you?” she asked, and he couldn’t help hoping she had come to The Point for another reason besides talking to him.
“Busy,” he answered. The one word didn’t come close to describing his well-being, but it was a hint that she should leave him to his work. He couldn’t deal with her now.
Serena stepped out onto the deck that was supposed to be closed to guests. She surveyed him, spending more than a little time gazing at the ring finger on his left hand. Only a month before her perusal would have meant something. He would have worried that his appearance didn’t measure up or that he’d seem too small-town. Since meeting Emily, the insecurities had disappeared. She’d accepted him exactly the way he was.
“Are you too busy to join me for lunch? I’d love to catch up.”
Tracen took in Serena’s dangly earrings and low-cut blouse. She’d changed, and he had no desire to “catch up.” He stared, not quite able to snap out of his daze. Food had no appeal to him either, but Serena needed to eat. “All right.”
That must have been the opening she was waiting for. Her slender fingers wrapped around his bicep. “The salmon smells amazing.”
Tracen sniffed. He hadn’t noticed the fishy scent before. Must be the special of the day. He let her drag him into the dining room. This was definitely not the way he would have expected to spend his afternoon.
“Nothing has changed,” Serena purred, looking around. “Not even you.”
Tracen didn’t know if she thought that was a good or a bad thing, but he knew it wasn’t true. For the first time since he could remember, he ached for a woman besides Serena.
“Why are you here again?” he asked as they made their way to the lobby to wait for Gigi to seat them.
Serena tossed her long hair. He vaguely noticed it wasn’t as full as he remembered. “Dancing is hard on a person’s body. I’ve got meniscal damage in both knees, and my back keeps going out.”
Tracen’s thoughts of injuries reminded him of the bump on Emily’s head. He’d longed to ease her pain. To keep her from getting hurt again. But her bump was probably nothing to the way he’d made her feel today.
The memory faded, leaving Serena’s inquisitive face peering at him. What had she been saying? Oh yeah, knee injuries. “Ouch.”
Serena’s gig
gle tinkled in a hollow way, like a laugh track on a sitcom. Tracen pictured Emily throwing her head back in amusement as he’d told her jokes. Big difference.
Serena’s breathy voice seemed to read his mind. “Emily Van Arsdale?”
Tracen’s spine bolted up straighter. How did she know he’d been dating the actress? Had a picture of him somehow gotten into the tabloids? Is that why Serena was really in Sun Valley?
Serena scooted closer to him and whispered excitedly, “Oh my stars. I think that’s Emily Van Arsdale sitting over there.”
Tracen jerked his head toward the lounge. Emily. She hadn’t made it out of the restaurant after all. She sat so still, staring out the window. Wasn’t she supposed to be working? His skin tingled with awareness.
Serena’s grip tightened. “I heard she was filming a movie up here. She cut her hair. And look how tiny she is.”
“Shh…” Tracen tried to shush her. The last thing he needed was for Emily to see him with his ex. He scanned the dining room to find Gigi, then motioned for her frantically.
Serena’s giggle grated against his nerves. “Let’s go meet her.”
“What?” Tracen grabbed at Serena’s arm to hold her still. “No.” He spoke in a hushed tone, but the intensity poured through.
“What do you think she’s doing?” Serena beamed up at him. “Maybe she’s waiting for Jack Jamison. Though I read an article in a magazine that said t there’s another man in her life now.”
Tracen ground his teeth together and turned his head away to keep his emotions in check. His face must not have been recognizable in the tabloid photo. Serena had no idea. With control he responded, “I don’t think she’s waiting for Jack.”
Looking back at Emily, he froze. She’d awakened from her trancelike state to watch him holding Serena in place. The glare she sent him cooled his skin like a cloud blocking the sun. The fight drained out of his body.
Serena took the opportunity to slip away from his grip. She sashayed across the lobby toward the leather couches flanking the fireplace. Toward Emily. He took a hesitant step forward. How could he explain?
“Oh, wow. Emily Van Arsdale. I love you.” Serena spouted words that Tracen never would. “I’m so pleased to meet you. My name is Serena St. Clair.”
Tracen inhaled, waiting for the explosion when his worlds collided. How had he ever compared the women to each other? His relationship with Serena had been as disastrous as a time bomb, while Emily had lit up his life with the sparkle and fun of a firecracker.
Emily’s eyes flicked to Serena, then back to him, questioning his intent. The distrust ripped his heart to shreds. Had she figured out who the other woman was?
“Hello,” she said smoothly.
Serena clasped her hands together. “You are absolutely beautiful. I worked in Southern California for a while, so I’ve seen lots of famous actresses, but they never look as good in person as they do in the movies. You, however, look radiant. I swore you wore colored contacts in Wonder Woman.”
Emily’s lips turned up hesitantly, though the smile held little warmth. “Thank you.”
Tracen watched the interaction between the only two women who had ever broken his heart. And both for the same reason. But that’s where the similarities ended. Emily possessed grace and maturity while Serena… Serena continued gushing.
“Yeah, I was a dancer down there. I danced in a music video with Jack Jamison’s ex-girlfriend. It’s like the whole six degrees of separation thing, except there are only three degrees between the two of us. Oh, wait a minute. I danced at the Oscars last year. Were you there? Because that means you might have seen me.”
Emily sat in silence for a moment. At least she wasn’t glaring at him. Though he’d love to look into her eyes again. Feel the connection that drew him to her in the first place.
“No, I’ve never been to the Oscars,” she said to Serena. “You must have done pretty well for yourself to have performed there.”
She was being so sweet. If the situation were reversed, he’d rip Emily’s ex-boyfriend’s head off. He’d almost done that to Jack, and their romance had all been an act.
The memories of his jealous rage caused Tracen to ache for Emily. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d pushed her away, then practically paraded another girlfriend past. He deserved the way she completely ignored him, even if it hurt more than if she were to scream and slap him. Life’s color faded to black and white like Dorothy’s world after she left Oz.
Serena shrugged with mock humility. “I did pretty well.”
Emily looked down at the legs she’d curled underneath herself before looking up again and meeting Serena’s eyes. “So what brings you to Sun Valley?” Her gaze flitted to Tracen’s, revealing the deeper meaning to her question.
Tracen tried to lift his arms in a shrug and shake his head to convey that he had no clue Serena was returning, but Emily didn’t look at him long enough to catch the message.
“Oh, I’m from Sun Valley.” Serena spoke with way too much enthusiasm. Even if she hadn’t hated growing up in Sun Valley, her volume still could have been toned down a bit. “I’m back because I can’t dance anymore. Injuries from overuse. Plus, I always told Tracen I would return. I got in today.”
Then Emily’s stare leveled on him, and the full weight of it could be felt throughout his every muscle. She remained still, except for the rise and fall of her chest. Chiseled cheekbones stretched her soft skin taut, and her eyes accused of betrayal.
Serena turned toward him, but he didn’t break eye contact with Emily. His ex’s voice barely registered over the pulse pounding in his ears. “Oh, this here is Tracen Lake, my high school sweetheart.”
If Emily hadn’t figured out his connection with the blond before, she knew it now. He looked away, hoping for an escape. Instead, he felt Serena’s fingers curl around his wrist and drag him forward.
“Hello, Tracen.” Emily’s guarded voice could have been wearing boxing gloves with the way it sent him reeling.
“Hi.” What else could he say? He pulled his arm away from Serena and shoved his hands into his pockets.
Emily rose from her seat, but even standing to her full height, she was dwarfed by Serena. Shorty, he’d called her. But she’d been the perfect size in his arms.
“We’ve already met,” she informed Serena, her voice vague and distant.
“Oh, you have?” Serena’s eyes widened as she shot Tracen a bewildered glance. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Emily’s expression echoed Serena’s question, chin high.
“We, uh…” Tracen motioned between himself and Emily as if his gesture would explain the relationship. He knew words could not. “I…”
Emily’s eyes narrowed before she looked away in disgust. This was it. She’d let loose now. He deserved whatever she said about him. But if she came after him physically, he wouldn’t be able to fend her off without pulling her to him, cradling her against his chest, caressing her hair in a soothing motion, whispering into her ear, pressing a kiss to her temple… never letting go.
“What Tracen is trying to say” — Emily’s clipped words taunted him, independent and bitter — “is that he’s an extra in the movie I’m filming.”
What? She wasn’t going to do the drama queen routine? It would have let him off the hook. He wouldn’t have to maintain the façade of normality, letting the charade continue. Of course, it was probably all a dare. She wanted the truth to come from him.
Serena shrieked. “You’re in the movie, Tracen? Of all the… I’m in Hollywood for ten years and come back to find that you are in a movie? That’s so cool. Hey!” She turned to Emily. “Do you need any more extras?”
From Emily’s expression, he knew she must be wondering what he ever saw in the ambitious airhead. He sure was.
Well, if Emily wanted him to make this right, he would. That’s the least he could do for her.
“Actually, Serena…” He rubbed a hand over the rough stubble on his jaw. What was he doing? Wit
h the correct words he could patch things up with Emily. He could enjoy a few more days with her and delay the inevitable. It wasn’t enough, but it was something. “Emily and I—”
“Emily!” Char panted as she ran up the stairs from the basement. “Why aren’t you down at the river? What could possibly be keeping…” The makeup stylist’s voice faded as she joined the threesome in the lounge. She didn’t try to hide the disbelief in her expression when Tracen’s position next to Serena registered, explaining the tension in the room. An over-manicured hand lifted to her hip. “Somebody better tell me what’s going on.”
The look Emily tossed Tracen before breezing past Char left him cold and empty. “Nothing is going on, Char. I was simply wasting time. Sorry.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
TRACEN BLINDLY FOLLOWED SERENA TO A table as she yammered on about Emily. Oh, he could tell her a lot more about Emily, but he didn’t want to discuss the extent of their relationship. Because she now considered him a waste of time. He’d keep his mistakes to himself.
Serena settled across from him. Hadn’t he been in the same place with Emily only a little while earlier? It seemed like ages ago.
“Look at you, Tracen.”
Serena’s bubbly comment caused him to blink. What exactly was she looking at? He’d propped his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his interlaced fingers while staring off into space. Was she going to criticize his table manners? Or had she read the attraction he had for the actress?
Serena leaned forward. “You can’t believe I’m really here, can you? You’re in shock.”
The shock had started before Serena’s return, though she’d definitely added to it. “You could say that.”
“It’s so good to see you again, Tracen. I missed you.”
Tracen tried not to harrumph. Had she missed him or just the attention he’d given her? The way he’d followed her around like a puppy dog, begging for her to throw him a bone. He sure hadn’t done that with Emily. He hadn’t had to.
“You must not have missed me too much,” he stated, no emotion coloring his tone.
Finding Love in Sun Valley, Idaho (Resort to Love Book 1) Page 18
