by Sami Lee
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“If I let him—them—get away, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
“Undoubtedly.”
Was it too late to repair the damage?
She wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to find out. Fear of doing the wrong thing had led her to do the worst thing she ever could have—let down the two people she loved more than anything in the world. Obviously, fear wasn’t a good decision driver. She couldn’t let it cloud her judgment any more.
Filled with sudden purpose, Eve stood. “I’m going to find out what’s going on.”
She had taken only two steps toward the nurse’s station when Mike suddenly materialised. He walked into the waiting room, his shoulders slumped. He looked emptied out, and for a moment Eve’s heart stopped.
His gaze settled on her briefly before moving to his mother. The relief in his eyes pulled an answering response from her, even before he said the joyous words, “He’s going to be fine.”
Mike held up his hands at his mother’s rush of questions and explained. “He did have a touch of the flu, but the rash that appeared is unrelated. I used a different laundry detergent and he had a reaction to it. I read about the symptoms of meningitis in a book and panicked, I guess. All he needs is fluids and bed rest.”
“Thank God,” Denise said, wrapping her son in a tight hug. In the next moment, Allen came bursting into the room. He saw them and rushed over.
“What is it? How’s Bailey?”
Releasing Mike, Denise turned and embraced her husband. “Allen, we just heard. He’s going to be fine.”
Mike and Eve were left standing together, the diversion provided by his mother gone. She watched Denise and Allen embrace, imagined what Mike must have gone through, driving Bailey to the hospital in a frenzy, and knew that this was what real family was like. Being there for each other during the good times and bad, leaning on each other. Needing each other and not being afraid to admit it.
Mike had once told her she was a part of his family, but she had not believed him. Now she knew she wanted to be, more than anything else she’d ever wanted, and she would fight for her rightful place in the Wilcox clan.
But first things would have to come first. “I need to see him,” she said, and Mike hesitated a fraction before nodding, turning and leading her down the hallway.
Bailey looked so tiny, so vulnerable in the hospital bed, the metal rails pulled up at the sides. Eve’s heart compressed at the sight, but then he turned and saw her, his eyes lit up and his face broke into a beatific smile. In his sing-song voice he said, “Mumumum.”
Eve broke down.
She ran to his bedside and kissed him all over his face, let him get his tiny fist tangled in her hair until it hurt, told him over and over again that she loved him. “I’ll never leave you again B, I promise you that,” she said, and meant it with all her heart. Whatever else happened, she would be a part of his life. She might make mistakes—in fact she was fairly certain she would—but today proved that bad things could happen whether she was around or not. Eve vowed that she would be around to help Bailey through every scrape, and he would always know she was there for him, that he was loved.
And she, too, would be loved.
Just as Jacinta had intended, she thought, for the first time thinking there might have been an underlying purpose of her friend’s decision to give her Bailey. She hadn’t been handing Eve a responsibility, but an opportunity—an opportunity to embrace the family she might never have had the temerity to find for herself, to discover what love was all about. Thank you Jacinta. You always gave me what I needed, and this last thing, this has been the best thing you’ve ever given me.
When Bailey’s eyes started to droop under Eve’s rhythmically stroking hand, she looked up to find Mike watching her, his expression intense, raw with pain and something else she wanted badly to trust. Catching her eye, he pulled the shutters down on his emotions, saying gruffly, “I’ll wait outside.” He had turned around and walked out before she could say a word.
“Well,” Eve whispered to Bailey, smiling despite her inner turmoil. “I think your Uncle Mike still hates me for leaving.”
“Dadadad,” said Bailey sleepily.
“Yes, honey, he’s your dada.” Her heart racing out of control, Eve knew what she had to do. She had to be brave, as she never really had been before. She had to put herself on the line to see if there was any chance left of salvaging a relationship with Mike. She would be a part of Bailey’s life, but she also wanted to be a part of Mike’s.
“Wish me luck, honey,” she whispered against Bailey’s temple as he slept.
Then she went to take a risk.
Just over a week, Mike thought. Eight long days she’d been gone, each one more miserable than the last. And now, just like that, she was back, pretending she cared.
Yeah, right. If Eve had cared about Bailey at all she would never have walked out on him. Couldn’t she see that Bailey needed her? That he needed her?
No, scrap that last part. He didn’t need her at all. So the house seemed empty without her. So what? So his heart ached with missing her, that could just as easily be indigestion. He’d been eating fast food for a week, something he never did and that felt satisfyingly self-destructive. So he and Bailey were grumpier with each other than they’d ever been. Bailey had been sick the last few days, which explained that perfectly.
Bailey had been sick.
At the reminder of how easy it might have been to lose him, Mike sagged against the cold hospital wall and let out the shuddering sigh he’d been holding in. So maybe he did need Eve, just a little. If she’d been around she probably would have handled this better, for a start. Because she had no doubt read all about early childhood diseases in minute detail, instead of skimming over that section of one of her parenting books in an idle moment, seeing the symptoms listed in dot points and drawing the worst conclusion in a state of panic.
Damn her anyway, for being his perfect complement, because with her gone, he felt acutely, profoundly incomplete.
He heard her footsteps and lifted his head, not wanting to see her but unable to keep from looking. She was a sight for sore eyes. She hadn’t tied back her hair, and it fell almost past her shoulders now, the rich carmine hue a stark contrast to her ashen complexion. He remembered that hair softly tickling his bare chest the nights they’d shared a bed, and he steeled himself against the desire to reach out and touch it, crossing his arms over his chest and setting his jaw.
It was too difficult, seeing Eve like this. It was like picking at a newly healed wound, and Mike was going to have to put a stop to it, one way or another.
As she approached him, he growled, “I can only assume from that little show of motherly love you put on in there that you think you can just walk back into Bailey’s life.”
She paled further at his tone, before setting her spine straight and facing him with open honesty. “I made a mistake. I should never have left.”
No kidding. “I tried to tell you that a week ago, but it’s too late to take it back.”
“Is it? I never got around to contacting a lawyer about custody, and I haven’t heard from yours. Legally, nothing’s changed.”
“Semantics. Everything’s changed Eve, and you know it.”
“You’re right. Something really important has changed. I realise now how much I love Bailey, how much he needs me. I realise that learning to be a mother is a process of trial and error, of learning to adapt, that I am allowed to make the occasional mistake without racking myself with guilt over it. The important thing is that he knows I love him. I promise he’ll always know that.”
Well, good luck for Bailey, Mike thought, feeling a completely puerile moment of envy for his nephew. If only she’d direct a love declaration or two his way, things might really start looking up.
He had to get out of here. He couldn’t look at Eve a moment longer without the aching emptiness inside him, the longing, becoming manifest in his
expression. Seeing her on a part-time basis, in some kind of shared custody arrangement would only drag out this agony, and he wished he could be enough of a bastard to stick to the ultimatum he’d made last week, but he couldn’t do his nephew the disservice. Being deprived of Eve’s love was just too painful.
“Call me tomorrow. We can discuss some kind of custody arrangement. I’m willing to go fifty-fifty if you are.”
As he turned to go, she stopped him. “Is that what you want? Shared custody?”
Keeping his back to her, he struggled with his emotions. “Since when has what I want been a consideration? I told you I wanted you to stay last week, but it meant nothing. Why should I waste my breath telling you again?”
Without turning, he walked away.
Helplessness enveloped Eve for an intense, sorrow-filled moment before she remembered her vow to change her ways. She needed to be optimistic. She’d give anything not to have wounded Mike, but his hurt had to indicate his feelings for her ran deeply, mustn’t it?
Taking a fortifying breath, Eve followed him.
She found him in the waiting room, saying something to his parents. Then he turned and looked about to walk out of the hospital. “Mike, wait.” When his steps slowed but didn’t stop altogether she rasped, “Please.”
He turned and looked at her across the waiting room, his expression pained. “Why are you dragging this out, Eve? I thought we could agree on shared custody of Bailey. Isn’t that what you want?”
“No.” It was an unequivocal statement. “I want a shared life.”
That got his attention. Mike stared at her for a long moment, his brow furrowed, until he asked carefully, “What do you mean?”
“I’m sorry, I should have been more specific.” If she was making a colossal fool of herself well, too bad. There were worse things that could happen—like living a life without love, without Bailey or Mike in it. “I want to share my life with you, if you’ll have me. I love you, Mike. I love your strength and your humour and your smile and your loyalty. I love the way you treat Bailey, the way you treat me.” Eve’s voice cracked. She cleared her throat and continued because this was so important, the most important thing she’d ever said in her life. “The way you make me feel like I matter. I do matter, damn it,” she said, feeling the truth fill her, hearing it fill her words. “I’m a good person who just wants to do good things. A simple, happy life, that’s all I want. And I deserve it, by God. I deserve you. At least, I did until I walked out of your life like a big, fat-headed idiot!”
Eve paused in her speech, aware suddenly of how heavily she was breathing. Aware also that she had arrested the attention of the half-full waiting room. She glanced around her, feeling numerous pairs of eyes darting away as she did so. They probably thought she’d escaped from the psychiatric ward.
She couldn’t dredge up any humiliation. Mike was just standing there staring at her and saying nothing, so a little public humiliation was the least of her concerns.
She badly needed him to say something. Anything. “The fact is, I need you, Mike. My life is beyond dull and unappealing without you. Can you forgive me?”
At great length, Mike said, “That depends.”
“On what?” Anything. I’ll do anything.
“On whether I heard you right.”
“You did. I am definitely a big, fat-headed idiot.”
“Not that part.” He took a step toward her and she saw that a light had entered his eyes. He reached up and touched her face so tenderly that she at last recognised that light. She’d seen it before, but hadn’t known what she was looking at.
Love.
He loved her.
Eve’s heart sighed with relief, gathered strength, and took flight. She let every feeling show in her eyes. She smiled and she knew it was an adoring, besotted smile. “I love you, Mike.”
He smiled back in just the same way. “I love you, Evie,” he said, his words soft with sincerity. Then he gathered her in his arms and kissed her.
It was the sweetest kiss she had ever known. It tasted just like the shared future she had told him she wanted—like hope and faith and togetherness and love. Most of all it tasted like love.
Within moments, they were surrounded. Denise was trying to hug both of them while Allen was patting Mike on the shoulder in approval. They had to break apart, and when they did they were laughing, purely overjoyed with each other.
There was a smattering of applause around the waiting room, then a nurse approached. “I love a happy ending,” she said. “You two can take Bailey home this afternoon.”
Home.
The word filled her with happiness, and she closed her eyes on a sigh.
“Hey.”
Mike’s soft utterance made her open them again. His expression had sobered. “I missed you.”
Tears pricked her eyes. “I’ve been so miserable without you.”
His lips twitched. “Can’t live without my cooking, huh?”
“It’s not just your cooking I miss.”
He cocked a brow. “My dazzling charm?”
“Are you by any chance, fishing for reassurance?”
“The least you can do, seeing as you walked out on me, you beautiful, adorable idiot.”
“Not a fat-headed one?”
“Definitely not fat-headed.”
She dropped all suggestion of jocularity. “I will never, never leave you again, Mike.”
His sigh shuddered against her, his heartbeat stuttering against her breast. He rested his forehead against hers, ran his hands over her hair. “Would you be willing to put that in writing?”
“You want a contract?” Eve asked, perplexed.
“Sort of.” He pulled back to look into her eyes. “I want a marriage certificate.”
Eve gasped, her heart stumbling.
Mike didn’t take his eyes off her. “You’re looking at a guy who wants to spend the rest of his life making you happy. Who wants to open a restaurant here—Barry and I are working on that. Who wants to have more kids—you and I can work on that, if it’s what you want, too. I want you by my side for all of it. Will you, please,” his lips twitched hopefully, “marry me?”
Eve thought of all the times in her life she’d longed for a family, of the times she’d yearned to be truly, deeply loved, of how she’d feared, deep down that none of those things would ever happen for her. She felt the past crumbling away, losing its last clinging grip on her, and felt this moment becoming a new memory that would mark the beginning of the rest of her life.
Tears flowed from her eyes, and Mike wiped them away with his thumbs. “These are happy tears, aren’t they, Evie?”
Eve nodded. “Oh, they certainly are. The answer’s yes, Mike.” She thought of what he’d said about more children, thought of the cottage and knew it was where they’d raise them, where they’d raise Bailey. Together, always together. She knew she was beaming as she smiled at him. “Yes to all of it.”
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