by Anna Brooks
“Meara, what the hell are you doing?”
“What is this?” she asks again, frustrated.
“It’s my spot!” I yell.
“And whose spot was it before you?”
“My parents,” I cry. The tears roll out, and I let them fall.
“Why? Why was this their spot?”
“It’s where they met.”
“Right. It’s also where my parents met. And Grandma and Grandpa.”
“I know. Alright.” I turn, but she grabs my arm and pulls me back.
“Who else?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie.
“Yes, you do. You don’t want to admit it.” She smiles and angles her head at the water. “I didn’t meet Liam here, but it’s where I go when I want to feel close to him. We’ve laughed, cried, made love, and fought here. It’s a special place for all of us. I’ve caught Pierce here, too. It means something, Char, and you know it.” Her brown eyes look back at me. “Now, tell me, who else?”
“Travis,” I whisper. “I met Travis here.”
“Right. Now come on, two more stops.”
Rolling my eyes, I follow her. The ride is silent again, but I think about what she said. That spot is special – not only to me, but my family. The first time I saw Travis, I knew he was it for me.
She stops in front of my building, and I feel sick.
“No,” I protest. I haven’t been back here since that night.
“Yes.” She rounds the car and opens my door. “You’ve gotta do it eventually, Char. Why hold it off?” I don’t move, and she squats down. Her voice softens. “If you really don’t want to, I won’t make you. I kind of need this for my dramatic finish, though, so it’ll piss me off if you ruin it.”
Her lips are tilted up, and I nod. “Fine.”
We stand in front of my boarded off door.
“What happened?” she asks.
“He came here.”
“Who?”
“Todd.” Venom spills out of my mouth at his name. “He came here and attacked me. Blamed me. Hurt me.” Chills run up my spine, remembering his words and his hands grabbing my body. Those same hands at one time, made me feel not alone.
“Did he rape you?”
Closing my eyes, I shake my head. I run the scenario through my head. I have nightmares about it. Would he have stopped after that? Would he have killed me?
“Why not? He wanted to. That was why he came here, right?” Her condescending tone has its effect.
“Because Travis saved me,” I snap.
“How did he save you, Char? What did he do?”
“He broke down the fucking door, okay! He barged in and beat the shit out of Todd. He fucking saved me!” Spit flies out of my mouth, and I pound on the wood, releasing some pent-up anger. “Todd would have killed me, but Travis saved me.”
“That’s right. Travis saved your life. Not because he had to, but because he loves you, Charlotte. Don’t you see that? He. Loves. You.”
“For how long, Meara? How many more breakdowns and episodes is he going to put up with? I’m not normal, and after what I’ve been through, I never will be again!” My head rests on the makeshift door as I try to get my thoughts together. “I love him. More than I thought was ever possible, and I’m so afraid of losing him again.”
She puts her hands on my shoulders and turns me so I’m looking at her. Her eyes are glossy and a single tear leaks down her cheek. “One more stop.”
Through the tears, we walk with our arms linked and heads resting together down stairs to her car.
The last stop turns out to be Travis’ building.
“I don’t understand.”
“You will.”
Inside his place, I turn the lights on and hold my arms out. It feels so empty without him here. “Well?”
“Where are we?”
Dropping my hands, I rest them on my hips. “Meara, really?”
“Where are we?”
“Travis’ apartment.”
“Right. Where is he right now?”
“I don’t know. He said running errands.”
“Yeah. Errands. But not the kinds of errands you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“He had to go take care of paperwork at work, because he took some kind of extended absence the past two weeks. He’s going to pay for a new door for your place. He’s also going to the police station to give another statement and continue to try to get them off your ass.” She ticks off each answer with her fingers.
“What are you talking about? The police haven’t been bugging me. I haven’t heard one thing from them after my initial statement.”
“Because of Travis.” She runs a hand through her short hair. “Don’t you see, Char? Don’t you get it? He does all of these thing for you, without even telling you. He takes care of you. He’s your fucking prince, Charlotte.”
“But I’m not a princess! He’ll realize that eventually and want to stop taking care of me. The hero act will get old!” I scream at her. “What’s the point of this, Meara? To make me feel like shit even more for ruining his life?”
“Ugh! I want to slap you so bad right now! He. Loves. Your stupid ass, Charlotte. He’s not going anywhere.” Her head falls, and she continues to shake it. “You’re so lucky. I’m jealous of you, your man here, with you every fucking day. And maybe you’re right. Maybe this was a bad idea, but I can’t stand to see you like this anymore. Open your eyes, babe. This is your happily ever after.”
22
Charlotte
Meara’s right. She’s absolutely right. I jump when the door slams and numbly sit on the couch.
He loves me. He’s proven over and over again that he’s here. For me. From the beginning. The night with Johnny. Holding me so the crickets didn’t get me. Finding me at the motel. He saved me from Todd. Not only does he still want to be with me, but he brought me to his place and takes care of me. Calming me when I have a nightmare, cleaning my wounds, and making sure I eat. He loves me.
Absolution settles in my bones, and I rush to the bedroom, whipping clothes out of the drawers until I find what I’m looking for. Luckily, most of my closet has been moved to Travis’ in the past couple months, so the dress I’m now wearing was easy to find. I quickly braid my hair, apply a little makeup, and slide my feet into my favorite pair of cowboy boots.
I check myself in the mirror one more time and am shocked at the clarity shining through my eyes. Embarrassed I’m smiling at myself, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and nervously pace around the living room.
I’m on my millionth lap when the lock clicks. I turn and freeze. Travis steps in and sets a couple bags on the floor, yet to notice me. Hands on the kitchen counter, he closes his eyes for a moment. I’m sure taking care of me has been exhausting. And I haven’t exactly been welcoming. When he sees me, I wring my hands and lick my lips. Words die on my tongue, but what I want to say swirls through my brain.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He cautiously takes a step closer. “You okay?”
“You love me.”
“Yeah, I do.” No hesitation, no question. How did I miss this? Doubting him, not trusting him to stay.
“And you haven’t left me. You’ve stayed.” It’s me who steps closer this time.
The blue depths of his eyes become lighter, softer, and his dimple appears. “You’re right.”
“No, you’re right. You’re so perfectly right for me I didn’t want to believe it.” Closing the distance, my hands rest on his chest, and our eyes stay connected. “I’ve been so afraid you would be disgusted by me that I didn’t even give you the opportunity to show me. I was closed off, embarrassed, and so freaking horrified that I’d lose you–” I cut off his attempt at a rebuttal with a finger to his lips. He kisses it and intertwines our hands, nodding for me to continue.
“I have loved you for so long. I remember the moment you owned my heart.”
He squints his eyebrows in q
uestion, and I smile as the memory plays in my mind.
“When we were sitting on that hill, overlooking the lake. I was overwhelmed with my feelings for you. Up until that point, it was a crush, a fantasy almost. You wiped the tear off my cheek and kissed me. You ruined me.”
“Me, too. Looking into your eyes that day was like seeing my future, my life, reflecting back at me.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. “There are so many things I want to say to you. I can’t thank you enough for staying.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I take care of the people I love. It’s ingrained in me to be a protector, and I happen to love you very much, so my services are all yours.” He smiles again. “Everything I have is yours, my heart, my home. I know I’m not a millionaire or anything, but I promise you, absolutely nobody will ever love you as much as I do. There is no object, no monetary amount, that signifies my love for you. There are no limits on the hell I’d walk through to make sure you were happy.”
“Stop talking.” I swat at his shoulder and wipe my eyes. “I didn’t want to cry again. I never used to cry.” Chuckling under my breath, I continue, “You saved me. Not only from Todd, but also from myself. I can’t promise I won’t have any more episodes or that sometimes memories won’t get the best of me.”
Making sure he sees me, I pull his head down a little so we’re face to face. “But I can promise that I love you. And I’ll never doubt how you feel ever again. Oh, and I’ll be honest with you… always.”
“That’s all I ask.”
In one fluid motion, he lifts me, and my legs wrap around his waist. Walking me backward, he presses me against the wall.
Urgency on top of everything else has me ripping his shirt off and pressing kisses down his neck. His groin pins me while his hands pull down the straps of my sundress.
“I like this dress,” he says between open mouth kisses on my shoulder. “I really like the boots, too. You were wearing this same outfit the first time I got you off.”
“Yeah,” I pant. “I thought it would be nostalgic if I wore it when we finally made love again.”
He pauses and sucks in a breath. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to. If you’re not ready, I don't want to push you.” The sincerity in his voice solidifies my decision.
“I want to. I want this, you. I’ve waited forever. I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes pierce into mine.
“Yes.”
Grabbing my face in his hands, he slams his mouth to mine. This kiss is raw. It’s passionate, and it’s frantic. We bite, lick, and suck until I feel like I’m going to combust. He grinds into my core, and my legs are shaking from squeezing him so tight.
“Travis, please.” I pull away long enough to beg, then grab at the back of his head to put his mouth where it belongs.
Without words, he walks us to his bedroom and gently lays me down on the bed. One leg at a time, he kisses inside my knees, and pulls my boots off. I admire the hard muscles in his shoulders and chest. So strong, so damn sexy.
I take matters into my own hands and hop off the bed and drop onto my knees in front of him. But he reaches under my arms and throws me back on the bed. “Nope. It’s all you.” He crawls on the bed and runs his fingers from my ankles to the inside of my thighs. When they reach the hem of my dress, he pulls it over my head. While I’m sitting up, I remove my bra and lay back down.
His lips part and he leans over me, pressing kisses to my breasts then working his mouth all the way down my stomach. He gently nips at the swollen lips under my panties, and then licks his way back up again. He’s driving me crazy, and as much as I love his mouth all over me, I really want him to fuck me.
When his face comes into view, he smiles, and slowly traces my lips with his tongue. “I want to taste you almost as much as I want to be inside you again.”
“Okay, but for the love of all that’s holy, pick one and do it. I’m dying here.” I lift my hips, desperate for friction, but he smirks and backs away.
“Travis,” I whine. “Please.”
“Okay, sweetheart, all you have to do is ask.” He gives me a hard kiss and sits up.
I lift my hips when he pulls my underwear down and claw at the sheets in anticipation.
He spreads my legs open and teases me some more by kissing everywhere but the one place that’s on fire. When his wet tongue traces a path from my rear pucker to my clit, I nearly fly off the bed. His muscular arm presses on my belly, making me lay still. He draws lazy circles with his tongue, over and over. When he sucks on my clit, I lose all discretion, and scream his name. I’m still coming down when he slides into me in one easy thrust. My back arches, and the moan that exits my mouth is unintelligible.
“Jesus, you feel fucking amazing.”
His tongue finds mine, and after I taste myself on him, he leans his forehead on mine then starts to move in and out. Slow.
“Oh, my God.” I release the death grip I have on the sheets and wrap my arms around his waist, trying to pull him closer. Never, have I felt this whole before. Tears brim my eyes, and when he starts to increase his pace, I wrap my legs around his thighs and use what little strength I have to pull him deeper. “Harder,” I whisper.
“Fuck, baby, I won’t last. You feel too good.”
Sweat coats his body and the jaw that I’ve seen tight from anger so many times is lax. His blue eyes have taken on a deeper shade, and they’re almost closed from pleasure. To know I did that to him, that my body can make him feel good, makes my orgasm start to build.
“I’m gonna come, Travis, I need you to fuck me harder.”
Up on his knees, he lifts me by my ass a little higher, grips my thighs, spreads them open even more, and pounds into me. Hard and fast. Perfect. I close my eyes and gasp as pleasure like I’ve never known rips through me.
His growl comes in unison with my moan, and after a minute of slowly sliding in and out, he collapses on top of me.
“Fuckin’ A, that was unbelievable. You good, sweetheart?” He talks into my neck and his warm breath tickles the hairs there.
I laugh. “Yeah, I’m good.” My fingers gently massage his scalp, and we sigh in contentment.
“Love you,” he whispers.
“You, too.”
“I forgot a condom. I’m so sorry. When you came from my tongue, I couldn’t wait anymore, and I totally forgot.” His words are rushed, worried.
“It’s okay, I’m on the shot.”
“Thank, Christ. Although,” he props himself up on his forearms, and moves the hair covering my eyes, “I’ve never felt anything so fucking good in my life, so there’s no going back now.” He winks, and I snort.
He knows I think winking is creepy. Then I laugh harder trying to cover it up. He laughs right along with me and sits up. When he tries to pull out, I frantically grab him. “No! Just a little while longer, please.”
“Okay.” His voice is soft. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
“How about forever?”
The clock shows it’s been ten minutes, but my mind says it’s only been half that.
“Can I get up now?”
I stretch underneath him. “I suppose.”
He kisses my closed eyelids and slides out of me and off the bed. Already feeling lonely, I grab his pillow and cuddle with it, inhaling his masculine scent. His presence back in the bedroom makes me smile, and I giggle when he tickles my foot.
He massages up my calves and when he gets to my knees, he gently spreads them apart. I feel a cloth between my folds and sit up, throwing the pillow on the floor.
“I got it.” I grab the washcloth and back up against the headboard.
Why? Why does the memory of Todd hit me now? I just had the most amazing, earth shattering, mind-blowing sex with the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with. I will not cry. I won’t. Instead, I drop my head so my hair covers my face and bite my lip.
“What’s wrong?” His concerned voice breaks my he
art. I’m so pissed at myself for being weak.
I shake my head and brush him off. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“No. You’re not.” He pushes the hair back and ducks down to look at me. “Talk to me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Nothing you feel is stupid. Remember what you just promised me? Honesty, right?”
Why did I say that? “I don’t want to ruin what just happened. Please, leave it alone.”
“No.” He stands at the foot of the bed. “I’m not doing this with you, Charlotte. You either talk or–”
“Or what? You’ll leave me?” I rise on my knees and raise my voice. “What do you want me to say? Todd used to do that, okay. He always cleaned me up after.” I twist my hair and hold it at the nape of my neck, suddenly hot. “And you know why I’m on the shot?”
“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to finish,” he concedes.
“No. You want to give ultimatums, this is the consequence. You want to know what I’m thinking, what’s going through my fucked-up head?”
He closes his eyes and hangs his head.
“He brought the damn shot to my house every three months. That’s how I got started. And when he would clean me up, I thought it was sweet at first. But toward the end, I cringed. I hated it.” My knees give out, and I fall to my butt. “I hate him. I fucking hate what he did to me.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Travis reaches for me and pulls me to his chest. My arms hang, but he grabs them and wraps them around his waist. “I’m an asshole. I won’t do that again, okay?”
Nodding into his chest, I begin to find comfort again. He stands there, holding me, while I calm down, and eventually I have the mental strength to look at him again.
“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have yelled like that.”
“No. I shouldn’t push you. You’re right. I asked.”
He leans down and kisses the top of my head. “You hungry?”
“Yeah.”
***
We’re lying in bed, after another round of blissful love making. Travis is on his back, and my head is rests on his chest, while I make patterns with my finger.
