by Anna Brooks
He’s looking beyond my eyes, and chills run up my spine at the intensity. “Good. Because nobody compares to you, sweetheart. Nobody.”
26
Travis
I swallow the knot in my throat as I stand in the secluded room, staring at the space they occupy. Finally growing some balls, I turn and sit down across from them. The soft music filters through the speakers and the sun shines through stained glass, coloring the gray-carpeted floor.
I look around, and when I’m confident I’m alone, I begin talking. “Hey, baby. I’m sorry I haven’t visited you.” I stand again, too uneasy to sit still.
“I don’t really know what eight-year-old little girls like to play with, but I brought you this teddy bear.” I awkwardly set the plush toy below the stone with Tammy’s name on it. “I hope you like it.”
I shake my head and blink away the tears. This is the first time I’ve been here. Guilt spears through me for not coming to see my baby sooner, but I wasn’t ready before.
“I think about you and miss you every day. I hope you know I never forgot you.”
Fuck. I wipe my eyes again and pace, before looking directly at Tammy’s name.
“I was so mad at you,” I tell her remains. There is no mention of the baby written on the stone inside the mausoleum. It’s like she was never pregnant, and that pisses me off. “But I can’t be anymore. I’m getting married. I thought I’d moved on, but I realized I never told you that I forgive you.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “This is more for me than for you, but I do. I forgive you. I wish there had been another way. I fucking wish you would have talked to me.”
I sit back down and rest my head on the back of the chair. “I wish I could have met my baby.”
After a few minutes of silence, I stand and kiss my fingers before setting them on the cold marble. I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk to my car. Once inside, I rest my head on the steering wheel, taking big breaths to calm myself before I drive back home.
“Hey, you okay?”
I look up and see Char, beautiful but worried. Her mouth is tight and her eyebrows squish together. I’ve been sitting in my car in front of my apartment for a few minutes.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m alright.”
She squats down and places her hands on my arm. “It’s okay, Travis. You don't have to be strong all the time.”
“It sucks not knowing. I hate that I never got to meet my kid.”
Her small hand lightly rubs up and down my arm, relaxing me and releasing tension.
“I’m sorry.”
I put my hand on top of hers. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”
“I know, but I hate that there’s nothing I can do.”
I turn in my seat and rest my forehead on hers. “Just being with you makes it better.”
***
Charlotte
“I’m freaking out. I don't want to do it.” I squeeze Travis’ hand, and he laughs at me.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ll be fine.”
Ignoring his reassurances, I clamp my eyes closed and grip the rope in my other hand. My fingers are becoming numb, but I don’t care.
“Ready?” the guy on the boat shouts.
“No!”
“Yeah, man. Let’s do it!” Travis yells after my protest.
“Holy crap!” I squeal when my feet are no longer on the back of the boat.
“Open your eyes.”
“No.” I shake my head and maintain a firm grip on the rope.
“We’re as high up as we’re gonna go. You’re not gonna fall.”
I squint open one eye, and when I see the water hundreds of feet below me, I scream and shut it again.
“You’re the one who said you wanted to go parasailing again,” he teases.
“I know, but I forgot how high up you go. I wasn’t this scared last time.”
“Char, look. It’s beautiful.”
Very slowly, I open my eyes and take everything in. He’s right; it is pretty.
“Wow.”
Everything else below looks so small, and I don’t even feel like I’m moving. It’s like I’m sitting on a chair in the middle of the sky. Releasing his hand, I point at the flock of birds in front of us. The sun on my face warms me, and I kick my feet side to side, leaning back a bit. When I feel his lips on my cheek, I smile and look over.
“It’s pretty neat, huh,” he asks.
“Yeah, I didn't go up this high the first time.”
“Who went with you?
“My mom.” I smile at the memory, one of the happier times I had before my dad died.
She was the one who was freaking out, so I tried to stay calm for her. I didn't have time to be scared.
“Let’s get married.”
I shake my head at his humor. “We are.”
“I know. But I want to do it soon. Like this weekend?” His smile is infectious.
“We got engaged a week ago.”
“So.”
“So? I don’t have a dress.”
“Okay, go buy a dress. It can’t take that long.”
“You’re crazy!” Next week is way too soon. I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life knowing he’s mine, but it seems too fast.
“Fine. Next month, then?”
“Okay.” The word comes out before I have time to think.
He pulls his head back, shocked at my answer. “Really?”
“Yeah. Really. That’ll give me enough time to get a dress. And since it’ll be September, the weather should be nice enough to have a wedding outside.” I clap my hands in excitement. “Yeah! Let’s do it!”
***
“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod,” I chant and lean on the car for support. Nausea coils in my gut, and I take deep breaths.
“What are you freaking out about?” Meara asks.
“I’m getting married in five minutes!” I yell, throwing my hands in the air.
“I’m aware of that. Even though, I must say, this is rather fast. Are you sure you want to do this?” She puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head, trying not to smile. She looks beautiful in her strapless tan dress holding a bouquet of blue hydrangeas.
“I’ve already moved in with him. I’ve loved him forever.” I flatten out my lacy white dress with sweaty palms. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“Then let’s go get your prince.”
I watch her walk away toward the beach. Pacing by myself, I look at the sky, wishing my parents and Caroline were here. Since my dad is the only man I would ever want to give me away, I’m walking alone. A breeze picks up and my dress flows in the air. I bend at the waist to push it down, and when I stand straight, three feathers twirl in front of me.
I swallow a cry and reach for them. My hands shaky, I grasp them tight and hold them to my chest. Tears moisten my eyes, but not because I’m sad. Because I know they’re with me.
I tuck the feathers in my bouquet, take a deep breath, and walk down the path of blue rose petals leading to my favorite place.
I nearly trip when I see my future husband standing on the rock. He looks amazing with khaki pants, a white button-down shirt, and a baby blue tie. His hair has grown out a little, so it’s spiked on top, and he’s smiling at me, showing his dimple.
I quicken my pace and take his hand when he reaches down to help me on the rock.
“Hi, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful.” He leans down to kiss me, and catcalls ring out from the crowd. I blush and pull away, handing my bouquet to Meara.
Brandon nods at me as I stand in front of the officiant, holding hands with Travis. We smile at each other, then laugh when asked if it’s okay to start, or if we’d like a few more minutes. We repeat vows and exchange rings. I lose the battle and cry when he kisses my hand and slides the band on.
“I now pronounce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Travis Parker!” Cheers erupt. Travis presses his lips to mine, and I squeal when he lifts me up.
The kiss starts out innocent enough b
ut quickly escalates. His tongue licks the seam of my lips, and I nip at it before sucking it into my mouth. He lets out a possessive growl while sliding a hand down to cup my butt. I moan and grab the back of his head, holding it in place.
Our bubble is burst when Brandon says, “Dude, chill. Everyone’s watching you dry hump your wife.”
I pull back and bury my head in his shoulder, silently laughing and embarrassed that I forgot we had an audience.
“I should care, but I really don’t,” Travis says and kisses me one more time.
Travis
I watch my wife dance with her cousin and Mary. Never in my life have I felt more pride. Not even when I graduated from the academy. The fact she chose me to spend the rest of her life with, makes me the happiest motherfucker in the world. I want, no, I need to get her alone. I push off the bar, but a hand squeezing my shoulder halts me. I turn and see Declan, Char’s oldest cousin.
“Congrats, man.” He sticks out his hand, and I shake it.
“Thanks. Glad you could make it.”
“Me, too. Listen,” he steps back and crosses his arms, “Charlotte’s like a sister to me. I don't want to see her hurt.” There’s the protectiveness Char and Meara warned me about.
“You don't have to worry about that.” I cross my arms, too, not backing down. “She’s my responsibility, now. You can trust she’s in good hands.”
He takes me in, then nods. “Alright.”
We shake hands again, and then he walks away. I should be pissed he questioned me, but seeing her swaying her hips washes away any anger that had begun to build.
I walk to Char on the dance floor and wrap my arms around her waist, inhaling her vanilla scent.
She turns and wraps her arms around me. “Hi.” She smiles and sways a little.
“Hi. You ready to go?” I rub my hard dick against her, and she nods eagerly.
She says goodbye to Meara and Mary, then we walk off the dance floor. It takes another hour to thank everyone for coming and when we finally get outside alone, I slip my hands under her dress and lift her by her perfectly round ass, setting her on the hood of my car.
“You’re not wearing underwear?”
“Nope.”
She grabs my head and pulls it down to kiss me. Needy and desperate.
“Baby, we gotta go to the hotel. I can’t wait any longer.”
She rubs herself against me, and I feel her heat through my pants. “Now.”
I lift her and set her feet on the ground, making sure she’s steady before opening the door. Just as she’s about to sit, she turns to face me. God, she’s perfect.
“I love you, Travis.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart.”
“Husband.” She smiles.
“You’re so much more than a word, Charlotte. You’re everything. And I promise to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
Epilogue
One year later
Travis
“Noooo,” Char whines. “I’m so tired.” She slides her arm from over her eyes and glares at me with a smile on her lips. “And now I’m all worn out, there’s no way I can move.”
We just finished with a round of morning sex, and I hate to admit I’m exhausted, too. Sleepless nights at home followed by sleepless nights at work are wearing me out. But I’m leaving for work this morning for three days, so there’s no way I’d miss this opportunity.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ll get her.”
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
I kiss Char on her bare stomach before I throw on a pair of sweats and walk down the hall to Caroline’s room.
“How’s my angel?” I stare down at my perfect six-month-old daughter in her crib. Her hair is dark like mine, but she has blue eyes like Char. We argue about who Caroline got them from since both of us have blue eyes, but they look like Char’s. Pink onesie and matching socks, she smiles a toothless grin at me and kicks her legs. I lose a piece of my heart every time I look at her.
Caroline Elizabeth Parker is an angel, and aside from Charlotte, the absolute best thing in my life. Char didn’t know she was pregnant until she was almost four months along. We were already married and had moved into a house on the lake. She was so stressed about everything else going on, she forgot to get her birth control shot. She didn’t realize she was late until it was really late.
“Are you hungry?” I gently pick her up and cradle her tiny body against me, resting her head under my chin. She coos, and her warm, wet slobber dribbles down my chest. I kiss her cheeks as I lay her on the changing table, tickling her tummy.
“Let’s get you changed, baby girl. Mommy’s waiting for you.” With a quickness I didn’t know I possessed, I change her diaper before she realizes she hasn’t had breakfast yet.
She blows spit bubbles at me, and I hold her in one arm, gently swaying her back to my bedroom. It’s amazing how the two loves of my life fit in my arms so different, yet so perfect.
When I walk in, Char is on her side, ratty old t-shirt back on, and her eyes are closed. I watch her for a minute, her breaths slow and steady, and realize she fell back asleep.
I still question every day how I got so lucky to marry the most beautiful, kind, loving woman in the world.
I’m not sure how long I stand there, but Caroline starts squirming around and flailing her arms. Her tiny fist hits me in the face, and I look at her with an unnaturally large expression of shock– mouth and eyes wide open.
She laughs at my silly face and hits me again. This time, I grab her fingers and kiss them. Her laughter turns into a cry, and I try to calm her, walking toward the kitchen. Laugher escapes me when I realize I’m bouncing with every step.
“It’s okay, angel. You’re hungry aren’t you?” Caroline slept for almost six hours straight last night. But I woke Char up early this morning, so really, she lost a couple of hours sleep she normally would have gotten.
“Let’s get you a bottle.”
I warm the water and add formula, testing the temperature on my wrist. Caroline starts whining louder, and I lay her in my arm, and hold the bottle in my opposite hand. I walk back to her room and hold her close in the rocking chair. Her eyes start to close, and I take the opportunity to rest mine.
Once she falls asleep, the bottle falls from her mouth and drops to the floor. I wipe the formula from her chin before carefully laying her back in her crib. Leaning down, I kiss her cheek.
“Be a good girl for Mommy. Love you, baby,” I whisper.
I tiptoe out of her room and stand outside the door for a minute making sure she’s really asleep. I quietly slip in the master bathroom and take a shower. After I get dressed, I look at the clock and curse under my breath.
Hating to wake Char again, but knowing I can't leave without saying goodbye, I sit on the edge of the bed next to her and brush some hair off her face.
“Sweetheart, I’ve gotta go.” She stirs and without opening her eyes, leans up and gives me a crappy kiss, before plopping her head down and rolling over.
I laugh and roll her back over.
“Not how this works, Char.”
She squints an eye and gives me a saucy smile. “I like making you beg.”
Her voice is so damn sexy in the morning, and even though I just had her about an hour ago, my dick starts to get hard again.
“You know I’ll beg any time, but I’m running late. I really have to go.”
“Oh. Shit, sorry.” She sits up and leans over, wrapping her arms around my neck. We share a passionate kiss that’s supposed to get me through a few days. Finally pulling back, I kiss her nose.
“You work tonight, right?” I ask.
“Yeah. Just until about ten. Your mom’s coming up to watch Caroline and spending the night. We’re going out to lunch before she goes back tomorrow.”
Since having the baby, Char still works at The Pub, but very little. She more or less fills in at the bar but has also been doing some paperwork in the office la
tely. She says she’s happy there, loves working with her family.
“Have fun.” I kiss her again and rest my forehead on hers. “I’ll miss you.”
“You, too.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Travis.”
She lies back down, and I pull the covers up. As I reach the door, she calls for me. I turn around, and while still lying in bed, she says, “I’m pregnant.”
Charlotte
“What did he say?” Mary is practically hopping up and down on the couch.
“He stood there for a minute, shocked. Then he smiled and ran to me.”
“Yeah? Then what?”
“Then we celebrated, and he was late for work,” I blush.
“Um, hmm. I bet you did.” She swallows the last of her wine, and I offer more.
“Nah. I’m good.Thanks, though.”
Her phone rings, and she briefly looks at it before hitting silent.
“Who was that?”
“Guess.”
“Why don’t you talk to him?”
“Because he’s an asshole.”
My eyebrows naturally furrow. Brandon Parker is not an asshole. And I know for a fact he cares about Mary. As close as we’ve gotten over the past year, she still won’t tell me what is up between them.
“He’s not. And you know it.”
“I know.” She unlocks her phone and opens a text. Her lips curl into a smile, and her eyes brighten for a brief second, before she masks her features and looks back at me. “But it just won’t work out.”
“One of these days, you’re going to have to tell me what happened between you two.”
“I know.” She looks at her watch. “Listen, I’ve gotta go.”
After giving each other a hug and a promise to call soon, I pick up my phone to call Travis.
“Hey,” he answers on the first ring.
“Hey. Whatcha doing?” I grab the glass and my water bottle from the coffee table and walk to the kitchen.
