by Mercy Amare
The line goes dead.
I plug my phone up and sit it beside my bed. I turn it on vibrate, and then I pick up the first book assigned to us in English. I figure I might as well get started. But before I can even read the first sentence of the book, there is a knock on my door.
I get up and see Mom’s boyfriend, Ben, standing on the other side.
“Mom’s not here,” I tell him, hoping that he will go away.
“The kitchen is dirty,” he says. “You need to clean it up.”
I roll my eyes. “And you need to go to your own house.”
“If your mom comes home and sees that it’s dirty, she will be mad,” he says. “And if I tell her that you talked back to me, she will be furious.”
“I don’t give a crap what you tell her.”
Trey’s door opens up. He walks over beside me. “What’s the problem?”
“This little bitch is disrespecting me,” Ben tells Trey.
Trey steps closer to him. “Don’t ever call my sister a bitch… Got that?”
“Whatever,” Ben says, not tempting him. “Just make sure the kitchen is cleaned up.”
Ben heads back to Mom’s room. After the door shuts, I turn to Trey.
“Thank you,” I say. “I guess I better go check out the kitchen.”
“If he ever says anything like that to you again, come get me,” he says.
Trey goes back to his room. I go downstairs and check out the kitchen. All the dishes from dinner are clean, but there is a new plate in the sink. It’s Ben’s plate. I roll my eyes, and rinse it off and stick it in the dishwasher.
My mom sure can pick ‘em.
Tuesday, August 26
Daisy is missing.
When I wake up on Tuesday, I have a ton of missed calls. I look through them to see a lot of them are from Daisy’s house number, and a few are from Frannie, Cassidy, Hayden, and Emma. I listen to the voicemail from Daisy’s house.
“Madeline, this is Megan, Daisy’s mom. I just checked on Dee and she’s not in her room. I’m really worried about her. If she’s with you, please call me so I know she’s okay.” The voicemail was left at 2 a.m. I have a few more from her mom, each one getting more frantic.
I read through my texts.
Frannie: Oh my God, Mads. Daisy is missing. Her mom called the police and everything. CALL ME!
All of my friends sent similar messages.
I call Frannie.
“Finally!” Frannie says. “You’re on speaker with Cass and me.”
“What’s going on?” I ask. “Did Dee show back up at her house?”
“NO!” Cassidy basically screams into the phone. “She’s missing, Mads. I’m so worried.”
“This is Dee we’re talking about,” I say. “I’m sure she’s fine. She probably fell asleep at some guy’s house and her phone died.”
“Maybe,” she says, calming down a little bit. “But her mom called the police. I have to go in for questioning before school. We all do.”
Just as she says the words, a call comes through on my cell phone. It’s a number I don’t recognize, so I answer it.
“Hello.”
“Is this Madeline Grey?” an older guy’s voice asks.
“Yes,” I answer.
“This is Detective Condie,” he says. “I’m calling in regards to the recent disappearance of Daisy Lewis. I understand that you and Miss Lewis are good friends, is that correct?”
“Yeah, we are.”
“I was wondering if you could come down to our office this morning for questioning,” he says. “Since you’re under eighteen, you can have a parent or guardian present at the time of questioning.”
I think about going into my mom’s room and waking her and Ben up, but immediately reject the thought.
“Do I have to bring a parent?” I ask. “My mom worked all night, so she just got home not too long ago.”
“You don’t have to,” Detective Condie says. “When you come here, ask for me. See you soon.”
The line goes dead, so I text Frannie back.
Me: Looks like I’m going in for questioning too.
Frannie: I’m nervous. Are we suspects or something?
Me: I’m sure everything is fine. We are her best friends… It’s probably standard protocol.
As I hit send, I can’t help but think maybe it’s not.
I head out to my morning run about fifteen minutes later than normal, so I have to get ready in a hurry. The whole time, I feel nervous. I’ve never been questioned by the police before.
I just hope Daisy is alright.
7am
Does Daisy have any enemies?
“Does Daisy Lewis have any enemies?” Detective Condie asks.
I start to say no, but then I remember I shouldn’t lie. This is the police.
“Daisy was kind of mean to a lot of people at school,” I answer truthfully. “So, I guess she does have a lot of enemies.”
“Was she mean to you?”
“Yeah, kind of.” I bite my lip, hoping that my answers help, but also wondering why he’s asking about me.
“Her mom said the two of you had a rivalry going on,” he says. “Is that correct?”
“No,” I answer. “Maybe in Daisy’s eyes, but not in mine.”
“Do you know where Daisy is?” he asks.
“No, I don’t. Though, knowing her, she’s probably at some guy’s house and forgot to charge her phone.”
“So she stays the night with guys a lot?” He writes something down on his paper.
“Yeah,” I answer. “To be honest, I’m kind of surprised her mom actually checked on her. Usually, Dee gets away with sneaking out.”
“Whose house do you think she could be at?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Luke Brentwood’s house? They aren’t dating or anything, but they hooked up frequently last year.”
“Do you have a crush on this Luke guy?” the detective asks.
“Luke? Gross, no,” I answer.
“When was the last time you talked to Daisy?”
“Yesterday after school. We talked for a few minutes before we left.”
“And what did you do after school?” he asks.
“I went straight home. I’m in a band with my twin brother, Trey, and his best friend, Jace. We had practice. Then I cooked dinner, did some homework, and went to bed,” I answer.
“So you didn’t call, text, or message Daisy?”
“No.”
“Okay,” the detective says, standing up. “That’s all I need for now. If I need you again, I’ll give you a call.”
English
We belong together.
I get to class ten minutes late. I’m excused, of course. When I walk into class I give Mrs. Duff my note from the office and take a seat beside Jace.
“Are you okay?” he signs to me.
“Yeah. Just had to be questioned by the police.”
His face turns up in a smirk, but I can see the worry in his eyes. “What did you do this time?”
“Daisy is missing.” We made a special sign for Daisy’s name. It’s the word bitch signed with a ‘D’ instead of a ‘B’. It was Jace’s idea, but I didn’t protest, though now that she’s missing I feel kind of guilty.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. You know how she is. She’ll probably stay gone a few days and make a dramatic reappearance,” Jace signs.
He’s right. This sounds exactly like something she would want to do. She’s probably still pouting from not being the center of everybody’s attention yesterday. She’ll come back and make up some outrageous story. It’s exactly something she would plan, which makes me hate her. She’s making all her friends and her mom worry. When she comes back, I’m done. Frannie will help me knock her off her pedestal, and I’ll enjoy my senior year drama-free… and Daisy-free.
“She’s probably on the beach somewhere right now, sipping fruity drinks from umbrella straws and flirting with some hot guy,” I sign to him. “I’m not worried
about her. She can take care of herself.”
I look up at the teacher. She’s writing on the board, not paying attention to Jace and me. If she notices us signing, she doesn’t say anything.
Finally, she turns back around. “Everybody, take out what you wrote yesterday, and pass it to the person on your right.”
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Yesterday, Mrs. Duff told us that we could write anything we wanted. I honestly didn’t think anybody but her would read it. Jace is sitting on my right. And yesterday I wrote a song. About him.
Kill me now.
“Can you pretend to read it?” I ask him. “Just don’t read it for real.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because it’s a song,” I answer.
“Then I want to read it.”
“It’s not finished yet,” I say. “And it’s not very good.”
“No talking,” Mrs. Duff says.
“Jace, please,” I sign.
He doesn’t respond, he just reads.
I read the paper of the person to my right. They wrote a poem about a dog who plays guitar. It is funny, but I can’t concentrate on anything but the fact that Jace is reading my song.
After about five minutes, the teacher tells us to write something in response to what the other person wrote. I decide to spice up the person’s story and add a drummer that’s a cat and a bass player that’s a bear. After ten more minutes, we pass our stories back. I read my song.
I look at you.
You look away.
I pretend I don’t notice the way you stare.
The way you laugh.
The things you say.
Everything about you makes it hard to walk away.
I’ve fallen for you.
You know that it’s true.
You’ve fallen for me.
I hope that it’s true.
We’re both just too damn stubborn to admit.
We belong together.
At the bottom, I see Jace’s response.
You look at me.
I look away.
You pretend you don’t notice the way I stare.
He also underlined the line we belong together. I look over at Jace and see that he is smiling.
“Good song,” he signs. “We should put music to it and perform it.”
“I already wrote the music to it,” I sign back.
“Awesome. Maybe we can practice it Thursday.”
Thursday is our next band practice. “Sounds good,” I sign.
The bell rings. Other than what he wrote back, Jace doesn’t acknowledge the fact that I wrote the song about him. As always, we will continue pretending that we don’t notice each other.
I just wish I was brave enough to really tell him how I feel.
Lunch
I kind of like that part of me.
Rumors are flying around the lunchroom, which doesn’t surprise me. In a school this small, gossip tends to blow up pretty fast. By now, everybody has heard about Daisy going missing, and everybody is staring.
When Frannie sits down at the table, she rolls her eyes. “God, Dee would love all this attention. Which is probably exactly what she wants. When she comes back, she will make a big show of things, making everybody feel sorry for her.”
“If she comes back,” Cassidy says. “What if this isn’t just Dee wanting attention? What if something bad really happened to her?”
Hayden sits forward, and frowns at Cassidy. “You don’t really believe that, do you, Cass?”
“No,” Cassidy replies, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I can see that she’s genuinely concerned about Dee. She’s probably the only one out of all of us, because we all know Daisy. This isn’t the first time she’s disappeared for days at a time, but this is the first time she’s ever been caught disappearing. Nobody knows what she does when she’s gone. When we question her, she always changes the subject in a way that we don’t know how to bring it back up again. I’ve considered everything, from drugs to a secret boyfriend, but Dee is too smart to take drugs. She might be a bitch, but she’s not stupid.
“She’ll show up,” Frannie says. “I know she will, but probably not for a few days. Being gone one day won’t be enough for her. She will want to give everybody enough time to think of all possible scenarios.”
“Probably long enough that when she comes back, we’ll be so relieved that we’ll forgive her,” Emma says. “Dee isn’t stupid. She knows that we are pissed enough to kick her out of our group.”
“And she’s getting exactly what she wants right now,” Hayden says. “Look at us, talking about her. She planned for exactly this. I say we just pretend like she’s out sick and not give her any satisfaction.”
“Good idea,” Frannie says. “Even when she comes back, we will just ignore her. When she says hi, we will continue like we never heard her. When she looks at us, we will just look through her, like she’s not even here.”
Wow, that’s kind of harsh.
“That’s a bit extreme,” Cassidy says, mimicking my thoughts.
“You have to admit, she deserves it,” Hayden says to Cassidy, then she looks at me. “Right, Madi?”
Everybody turns to look at me, and I’m not sure how to react. I know what everybody wants me to say. Even Cassidy, who claims this is harsh, wants me to say that we should do it. After all, Dee has been the cruelest to me.
“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “I think that Cass is right and that is really harsh. We are all thinking about the mean things Daisy has done to us, but what about the good stuff? She’s not always bad. Remember all the slumber parties Dee threw for us freshman year?”
Frannie smiles. “Every Friday night. I looked forward to those nights so much. Dee wasn’t her normally bitchy self. We didn’t have to worry about our clothes, hair, or make-up. We could just be ourselves, even if only for a few hours that night.”
“I don’t know about you guys, but Dee certainly knows how to keep a secret,” Hayden says. “I’ve told her stuff that I would be devastated if it got out. And she’s never told anybody. Out of everybody, I think I trust her most.”
Dee has a way of knowing things about you, that even you don’t know about yourself. I’ve never come to her with a secret about myself, but she’s come to me. I’m not sure if I should trust what she told me to be the truth, but I can’t stop thinking about it… Secrets about my dad and my family… Secrets that would be better off unknown. I tell myself what she said was a lie, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. Deep down, I’ve wondered before she told me.
I stop the thought before it can go any further. I don’t think I want to know the truth, and searching for it would only hurt me more.
“Dee was the one who pointed out my brother’s drug problem,” Emma says. “I mean, deep down I knew that he was using again. When she told me, I screamed at her and threw a book at her head. I hated her so much. But once I calmed down, I realized that she was right. Because of her, my family got my brother help before the problem escalated. Without her, I’d hate to wonder what would happen to him.”
All their stories make my chest tighten. They all have wonderful experiences with Dee, but I don’t have any. Every nice thing she’s ever said to me has been laced with something equally hurtful. No matter how hard I try to be her friend, it just hasn’t happened, and I don’t think it ever will. She hates me, and I don’t know why. I wish I did. I want us all to enjoy our last year of high school. I want this year to be the most memorable of my life.
Part of me wonders what it would be like if Daisy never came back, and I feel guilty for even thinking it. Because, for one small second, I think I would really like it, and that pretty much makes me just as big of a bitch as Daisy. The sad part is, I kind of like that part of me.
4pm
Anything involving a hot guy.
Through the rest of the day, I can’t stop thinking about the conversation in the lunchroom. I’m
also starting to worry about Daisy, even though I probably shouldn’t. This is just how she is. Everybody knows that.
After school, Frannie comes over to my house. Cheerleading practice was canceled because of the rain, and she decided that we need to talk more… about Daisy… about everything.
Frannie and I sit on the front porch swing watching the rain fall. Right across the small paved road in front of my house is the lake. There is a deck that leads into the water… the same deck that has been there since I was a kid. My dad built it, and it’s still standing because Trey frequently does maintenance work on it. I don’t think he could stand to let the deck rot away. Trey was young when Dad built it, but he helped in the only way a five year old could. He handed him nails and got him bottles of water from the cooler. In a way, I think he feels connected to him when he works on the deck.
“I can’t believe you wake up at five every morning to run five miles,” Frannie says. “I hate it when the coach makes us run.”
“Running is a nice escape,” I tell her. “I guess it’s not for everybody. Though I’m surprised you don’t like to run. You’re so in shape.”
“I can be in shape in other ways than running,” she says. “I much prefer the elliptical. Or walking. Though, maybe I’d run too if I had such an amazing view every morning. I’m so jealous of your house.”
Frannie’s family lives in the trailer park. She, Cassidy, and her younger half-sister, Anna, share a bedroom. Their bedroom is hardly big enough for one person, let alone three.
“At least you have a family that loves you,” I say, thinking how I would gladly give up this house to have a mom that loved me. Frannie’s dad left when she was three, but her stepdad is good to her.
