by Amy Brent
I picked up my phone to see if Brandon had sent me any messages. I’d woken up this morning around the time I knew his plane was taking off, and it ached my heart. Knowing he was so far away made me feel empty inside. I tossed and turned in my sleep, and my knees were starting to ache again. Suddenly, I no longer felt some of the passion I’d gotten back in my life.
I missed him. I missed him more than I was willing to admit. I wanted to call him and talk to him. I wanted to tell him that I felt alone without him here. I couldn’t shake this feeling that we were supposed to be together, like when we had lunch with the kids. I’d never seen Sarah take to anyone the way she took to Brandon, and I could tell by the look he was giving me that Max didn’t take to people either. The way the kids played together a couple of nights ago warmed my heart in ways I couldn’t describe. Sarah had another friend in Max, something I never thought she would find aside from Logan. It was like our weird little circumstances simply meshed, and I couldn’t ignore that.
It’s like our families belonged together.
My phone ringing drew me out of my silent reverie. I sighed when I looked down, not recognizing the number on my screen. I picked up the phone and held it to my ear, but the moment I did, I regretted the decision I’d made.
Because a very perky voice was on the other end.
“Hello! Is this Miss Melissa Conway?”
“It is,” I said.
“Hello there, Miss Conway. I’m calling on behalf of Dr. Smith. I wanted to confirm your three o’clock appointment for today.”
“Ah,” I said.
“Will we be expecting your beautiful self today?”
Wow, this woman needed to back off the coffee.
“Um, no, actually. I’m not feeling well. Don’t want to chance anyone getting sick,” I said.
“Oh, no! I’m so sorry to hear that. Well, do you want to reschedule? Dr. Smith does weekend appointments.”
“No, no. That’s fine. I’ll just see him next week,” I said.
“All right. We look forward to seeing you, and we hope you feel better!”
The phone hung up, and I lobbed my head back into my chair. My thoughts drifted back to Brandon and how he might be doing. Had his plane landed? Was he all right? Did he even make it onto his plane? What type of hotel was he staying in? Did he have someone he was meeting over there? What was a book signing like?
I pulled up my text messages to see if he’d responded, but there was nothing to be found. I typed him out another one to let him know I was thinking of him, and then I sent it on its way. I knew I was supposed to be taking this time to myself to think, but the only thing I could think about was him.
He’d come into my life trying to help me, and now I didn’t want him to leave. It was like all of this happened for a reason. He had to have Max, and I had to have Sarah in order for us to change in the ways we needed to for us to work. Max toned down his bright nature, and Sarah opened my eyes to a world I hadn’t even known existed. The more I thought about that lunch, the more I couldn’t shake the idea that this was how it was supposed to be.
High school hadn’t been our time, but now was our time.
Except, he was gone for two weeks, and I had no idea how to convey to him that I felt the same way. I had no clue how to reach him to tell him all the thoughts milling around in my head.
I already missed him, and I wanted him back in my arms.
I worked through the rest of the day before I picked up Sarah. Every time my phone rang, I jumped for it and was always disappointed when I saw it wasn’t Brandon. I got the two of us home and cooked a quick dinner. Then Sarah fell asleep earlier than usual. Ava kept calling to see how I was, but I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, honestly. I just wanted to lay in bed until Brandon messaged. Until Brandon called. Until Brandon did something.
I sent him one more text message before I hopped in the shower. I wanted him to know I was thinking about him and that I hoped he was all right. I apologized again for what I put him through, and then I told him whenever he wanted to talk, I was ready. I hopped into the shower and cleaned myself off, thinking of Brandon and what it would feel like if he were in the shower with me. I closed my eyes and dreamed of his hands drifting over my wet skin, and for a moment, I simply basked in my memories.
His lips on my skin and his cock between my legs. I thought of his teeth sunk deep into my skin and his lips around my clit. I remembered my body giving way to his tongue and his hips snapping against mine.
I hoped to the skies above I would have more than just my memories by the time this book tour was over.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned off the water. I felt myself falling again. Like the ledge I had been clinging to had just crumbled from the side of the mountain. With every hit my body took tumbling, a new ache or pain arose. By the time I got dried off and laid myself in bed, my body was on fire.
I hadn’t felt this kind of bodily pain in days.
Suddenly, my phone rang. I sighed, closing my eyes as it rang out into the room. I debated not picking it up. I debated letting it go to voice message. Ava had been bothering me, sending me text messages and shit, and I wondered if that’s what I was doing to Brandon.
If I was bothering him like she was bothering me.
My hand flopped down onto my phone and I picked it up. I put the receiver to my ear and sighed heavily, wanting to let Ava know that I simply wasn’t in the mood to talk.
“Ava, I love you. I really do, but you gotta stop.”
“Hello, Melissa.”
My heart dropped when I heard his voice. Tears sprang to my eyes as I gripped the comforter, and I held my breath as I tried to hang on to the moment. Brandon had called. He was there. In my ear. At that very moment.
“I heard you canceled your appointment today because you were sick. Are you feeling all right?”
Oh. Shit. He wasn’t calling to talk. He was calling to check up on his patient.
I should’ve fucking known.
“I’ll be fine in a few days. No need to worry,” I said.
“Did you remember to take your vitamin D?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
“Did you at least do your morning yoga?” he asked.
“No.”
“What about indulging in your hobby?”
“You’re my hobby,” I said, whispering.
“What?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“You said something.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. You whispered something. What did you whisper?”
“I asked you how you were doing,” I said.
“I’m fine. Plane ride was boring, and now I’m in my hotel. What did you say, Melissa?”
“Nothing, Dr. Black.”
A tear rolled down my cheek as I sniffled away from the phone. Suddenly, I no longer wanted this phone call. I didn’t want him bombarding me with questions that made it seem like he gave a shit. He wasn’t calling as Brandon. He was calling as a doctor talking with his crazy-town patient, and all I wanted to do was fall asleep until this was all over.
“Melissa,” he said soothingly. “Talk to me.”
“Why are you calling?” I asked. “I sent you texts throughout the day and everything. Why are you calling when I canceled my appointment? To check up on me like a big, strong daddy would? Newsflash, I don’t have a father. He threw me out when I was eighteen.”
“Melissa, I want you to take a breath.”
“No, thanks.”
“Melissa, take the fucking breath.”
I drew in one through my nose as my eyes fluttered closed. I let it out from between my lips, and instantly, my heart rate began to settle. More tears flowed down the side of my face, soaking my hair and the pillow I was laying on. My body ached more than I could stand, and I reached for the pain medication I had left in my bedside table. Then, Brandon’s voice stopped me.
“Just take a second and c
lock yourself. I assume you’re aching today?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, whispering.
“This is what happens when you go a day without your regimen I prescribed to you. This is what happens when you miss a counseling session.”
“No,” I said. “This is what happens with I miss my regimen and then figure out I was a massive fucking idiot.”
“What?”
“I was an idiot. At dinner a couple of nights ago. I was an absolute idiot. I miss you. I hate that you’re not here. I hate that you left, and we were on these kinds of terms. I didn’t want to go see Dr. Smith because he’s not you. He can’t help me the way you can, and I’m not talking about in a romantic way. Even in a platonic way, you help. You don’t shove pills down my throat. You talk. You listen. You help. And our kids played so well, and lunch was wonderful, and I can’t shake this feeling that it was supposed to happen like this. Max settles you out, and Sarah educates me and that’s what we needed before—”
“Take a deep breath, Melissa. It’s happening again.”
I drew in another deep breath through my nose. I felt my heartbeat settling as I let it out through my lips, but by the time I was done, my tears were getting the best of me. My chest was hiccupping, and the tears were becoming bigger, and soon, I was turned over onto my side and crying into the phone.
“Talk to me,” he urged.
“I don’t know if I can say those words yet, Brandon,” I said. “The last man I ever said them to. He died a-and I don’t want you to die.”
“It’s okay. I hear you. I understand, Melissa.”
“But I feel it. In my gut. In my soul. In my house and shower and in the car. I can’t get you off my mind. I can’t not see myself with you. I can’t.”
“Deep breaths,” he said.
“It hurts to breathe,” I whispered.
“Sssh.”
His voice was so soothing in my ear. I closed my eyes and allowed my emotions to take over. My body shook, and I heaved for air. My face was wet with tears, and my throat began to burn. My body trembled and convulsed as sweat broke out on my brow.
And all the while, Brandon was right there in my ear.
“I’m right here, Melissa. You have nothing to be afraid of.”
“I can’t lose you again,” I said desperately.
“And you won’t. There is no one out there for me but you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Never be sorry for how you feel. The words, they are just a verbal expression of something felt deep down. Nothing more,” he said.
“But they’re important to you.”
“And when you can say them, they’ll be important to you, too. Until then, I can help you navigate this newfound territory given your circumstances,” he said.
“Why am I so scared to say them?” I asked.
“It’s like you said, the last man you said them to passed away. You’ve linked that phrase and that feeling with the pain and grieving that comes with personal loss. You’ve convinced yourself that if you tell someone you love them, they’ll die.”
“That sounds so stupid,” I said, snickering.
“Not in the slightest. It’s very normal for those who are grieving to do just that. Know that I’m here to help you through this. But, you should see Dr. Smith, if only once. There needs to be continuity in your appointments.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he said.
“Did you call here because you wanted to check on a patient? Or did you call because you wanted to talk with me personally?” I asked.
“Neither,” he said.
“What?”
“I called because I wanted to talk to the woman I love.”
In an instant, my body relaxed. The tears slowly stopped as a goofy smile crossed my face, and the conversation took a personal turn. We talked about work and how it was rough. We talked about the plane ride and how it was turbulent. We talked about how his book tour was going to go and how his arm would fall off giving autographs. Then he told me about a television interview he’d do while he was gone.
I told him Sarah and I would be watching from the moment he hit the stage.
We talked into the early hours of the morning before I fell asleep on the call. I woke up with the phone still pressed to my ear and the memories of our conversation on our mind. My brain felt a little lighter even though my neck was sore from crying, and I mindlessly reached for my pain pills before our conversation came flooding back to my mind.
I flipped the covers off me, padded downstairs in my robe, and took my vitamin D.
Chapter 25
Brandon
I know I’d agreed to leave her alone, so she could think, but I simply couldn’t. The text messages she sent me throughout the day Monday all bombarded my phone when I landed, and my heart soared. She was thinking of me like I was thinking of her, but the voice message I got from Michael worried me a bit.
She’d canceled her appointment because she was sick, but I had a feeling the sickness wasn’t the flu.
After our wonderful talk Monday night, I couldn’t stay away. We texted one another in our free moments, and then I’d call every night as I was settling down in my hotel room. It made the four walls seem a bit more bearable and a little less lonely. I loved hearing her voice in my ear, and I could tell Tuesday she had done her regimen. There was a pep to her voice that had been absent Monday, and I smiled as I listened to her tell stories of Sarah when she was younger.
But now, I was staring at my phone and wanting to try something different. I wanted to see her. I wanted to look into her eyes as I talked with her. I sat up in bed, shirtless with nothing but my boxers on, while my thumb hovered over the camera button. One click and she’d pop up on that screen and I could revel in her smile. Her eyes. Her hair and her curves.
If she accepted the call, that was.
I took a deep breath and pressed it, then listened to the tone ring out into the room. I had no idea why I was so nervous, but the moment the call was answered, I braced myself. The black screen was buffering even though I could hear Melissa shuffling on the other end of the line, and the moment her face popped up onto the screen, my heart began to soar. Her brown eyes sparkled with the dim lighting of her lamp, and I could tell she had nothing on but her robe. My cock began to spring to life as she smiled at me, her bare skin taunting me on the phone as she turned her hair behind her ear.
“Well, this is different,” she said.
“I just wanted to see you is all,” I said.
“Then I’m glad it’s this way.”
“Your smile’s contagious,” I said.
“Are you naked?” she asked.
“No, I just look that way. I’ve got my boxers on,” I said.
“Such a waste,” she said, winking.
“Oh, really now? Because we could fix that problem very quickly,” I said.
“No point in fixing it if I’m not there to enjoy it.”
My cock pulsed at her words. Her eyes sparkled mischievously as I watched her robe slowly slide from her smooth skin, and she giggled while she tried to work it back up her body.
“No, no, no. Leave it,” I said.
Her brow ticked in confusion before she let go of the fabric. Her innocent smile turned into a wanton grin, and her chest rose with a long pull of breath as her camera slowly traveled downward. What was once her face and her shoulders now held her beautifully soft nipples, and I groaned as my hand snaked underneath my covers.
“Leave it now?” she asked.
“You’re beautiful, Melissa. You know that?” I asked.
“Why don’t you show me yours?” she asked.
I moved the camera down my torso, showing her my muscular form as she licked her lips. I watched her tits slowly spring to life, the pert nipples rising just for me. Her eyes darkened as I watched her hand come up and cup her tit, and I threw my comforter off my body as my cock sprang upward.
“Fu
ck, I wish I was there to massage those tits.”
“Trust me, I wish you were, too. I’d flutter my fingertips down your rock hard muscles and watch you shiver,” she said.
I wrapped my hand around my cock and simply held it there. Melissa was moaning lightly, pinching her nipples as I propped the camera up on the bed table beside me. Now she had a view of my entire body, along with my pulsing cock sitting in my hand.
