by Amy Brent
There wasn’t a memory of Brandon that didn’t get me riled up, but there was one image in particular that always came to the forefront of my mind.
The one time I sat on his face.
“Oh shit, Brandon. Yes. Lick that pussy. Oh, fuck! You lick so good.”
I saw us on that blanket in the woods we’d escaped to. I had just gotten into a fight with my parents after they had caught Brandon kissing me on the porch. My father tried to lock me in my room, and I climbed out the window, shimmying down the tree before I fell and scraped my arm. I ran all the way to his house, crying as I banged down his door.
He took me in his arms and insisted we go for a walk before I went back home.
“Brandon! Yes! I’m so close!”
I dug my heels into the mattress as my body flew over the edge. I thought about how his hands had dug into my ass. How his tongue pushed into my clit as my knees settled around his face. I thought about how he licked me clean, my body shaking in the fading sunlight as my hands massaged my own tits. I could still remember the smile on his face when I collapsed, falling into his arms as he settled me down onto the ground beside him.
It was the first time he’d ever told me he loved me.
My orgasm barreled over my body as I shook. My legs contracted, shaking with energy as my hand fell off to the side. My body collapsed in a fit of tremors, jumping and jerking as my eyes fluttered closed. I could still see his beautiful muscles rippling above my body as he bent down to kiss my lips.
But when I opened my eyes, he wasn’t there.
“Mommy? School?”
“Coming, sweetheart.”
The day went about as well as it could go. I dropped Sarah off at school, had a disgustingly boring day at work. I canceled my second appointment with Dr. Smith, but this time I was upfront with his secretary. I told her I had no plans to come and talk to him about anything, and I’d wait for Dr. Black to get back into town.
I committed myself to a decision despite what others might have thought about it.
I worked through lunch to get some things done before I left to pick up Sarah. I stopped by the grocery store and bought her favorite flavor of ice cream. I wanted to surprise her with a movie night, maybe invite Ava and Logan over. She’d been with my parents a lot over the past couple of weeks, and I wanted her to know she was loved.
Loved and cherished and longed for.
But, the moment she got into the car she asked me a question that surprised me, and it got my wheels turning about Brandon again.
“Mommy, when will we see Max and your friend again?”
“You mean Mr. Brandon?” I asked.
“Yeah. I like them. Why don’t they come over to play?”
It warmed my heart that she wanted to be around them. I felt tears crest my eyes as I tried to settle her mind, telling her that Mr. Brandon was out of town. She seemed to be all right with that answer, but the mere fact that she was asking for him was shocking. She never asked for anyone except Logan and Ava, and even that relationship took almost two years to cultivate.
She’d latched onto Max and Brandon in two weeks.
“Do you talk to Mr. Brandon?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, when Logan and Ava went to the beach, you still talked to her. Do you do that with Mr. Brandon?”
“I do sometimes, yes. Why?”
“Could I talk to him?”
“You want to talk to Mr. Brandon?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah. Like I talk to Ava.”
“I mean, sure. I could call him up and ask. Would you like me to do that?”
“Yes, please, Mommy.”
I had no idea how I was going to get myself out of this mess. I had to wait for Brandon to call me like Ava said, but now Sarah was wanting to talk with Brandon. I was finally starting to realize why Brandon wanted an answer the way he did.
He realized this was affecting our kids as well.
I got us home and fed us dinner before we curled up on the couch with some ice cream. I held my phone tightly in my hand, hoping and praying he would call me tonight. I ran my fingers through Sarah’s hair while we watched Beauty and The Beast, and the moment it hit nine o’clock, I started to get worried.
Here I had promised my daughter some time to talk with Brandon, and he wasn’t going to call so I could ask. What the hell was I supposed to do? Call him up? Send him a text message? Video call him? I was in territory I had no idea how to navigate, and I could feel the tightening sensation happening in my chest.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Then suddenly, my phone rang. It lit up with a name that practically made me squeal, and I looked over in time to see Sarah’s eyes light up. She scrambled from my lap and sat up on her knees, looking at the phone as I answered it. She looked so excited to talk to him, and I had to swallow back tears just to get out my greeting.
“H-hey there, Brandon.”
“Evening, Melissa. Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m all right. Just so glad you called. Listen, I have a question.”
“What’s up?”
“Sarah sort of—”
“Hi, Mr. Brandon!”
Sarah waved at the phone as Brandon chuckled, and my heart melted into a puddle. I wrapped my arm around my daughter, pulling her close to me as her eyes danced along the screen.
“Can you see me?” she asked.
“Nope. Hold on. We can fix that,” he said.
Soon, his face flashed on the screen, and Sarah giggled with delight. I pressed the camera button on my end and watched Brandon’s face light up as Sarah’s face filled the screen. He waved at her, and she waved back, and pretty soon, the two of them were talking as if they’d known each other for years.
“How was school today, Sarah?” he asked.
“Okay. I saw Logan. Does Max go to my school?”
“No, Max goes to another school down the road,” he said.
“Max should go to my school. That way he can play with me and Logan.”
“Would you like to talk to Max?” he asked.
“Is he there?” she asked excitedly.
“Not here with me, but I can get his face to pop up on your screen, too. Wanna see?”
“Yes, please! Yes, please! Yes, please!”
I laughed at her excitement as Brandon started fiddling with his phone. Another screen popped up onto our phones, black and blank as the call attempted to connect. Sarah’s eyes were watching intently as the call finally picked up, but the face I expected to pop up wasn’t the face I saw.
Instead of getting Max, I got Brandon’s mother.
“Oh, my gosh, Melissa! Sweetheart, you look incredible. It’s been years. How have you been?”
My eyes welled with tears as I saw Brandon’s gaze lock onto mine. The moment her voice hit my ears, I was thrown back to another time. A time where they would invite me over to family dinners, and we would laugh for hours. A time when they threw picnics and would come get me from my parents’ house. A time when she would make excuses to my mother so Brandon and I could have a few more minutes out on the porch with one another before she had to take me home.
That woman had been more of a mother to me than my own growing up, and seeing her on my phone made me realize how much I had missed her.
“Oh, honey. What’s wrong? Please don’t cry. You can talk to me,” she said.
“I have missed you so much, Mrs. Black.”
“Cut that Mrs. crap. It’s Angela.”
“Or Ma,” I said, sniffling.
“Ma works, too,” she said, winking.
“Max?” Sarah exclaimed.
“Sarah?”
I watched Max’s mop of black hair work its way into the screen before Angela passed the phone onto him. A bright smile crossed his face as he waved at Sarah, and the two of them began talking with one another. Max showed Sarah his new toy, and Sarah talked about how she wanted to go over and play. I told her
we could get everyone together once Mr. Brandon got into town, and Angela piped up and told me Sarah was welcome at her house anytime I wanted to bring her over. I let Sarah take the phone so she could go show Max the movie we were watching, and I followed her up the steps as she took my phone into the room.
She and Max were playing on the phone screens together as I stood in the corner and watched.
“That’s a really awesome toy, Sarah. Is it your favorite?” Brandon asked.
“No. My favorite is my princess dress. And my cowboy boots.”
“Sounds like my kind of princess. A beautiful woman who can handle her own stuff,” Brandon said.
“Yep. I fix my own cereal and everything,” Sarah said, smiling.
“Because you are smart, capable, and beautiful, Sarah,” he said.
“What am I, Daddy?” Max asked.
“You are smart, capable, and handsome,” Brandon said, grinning.
Tears were streaming down my face as the kids continued to play. Brandon was talking back and forth to his mother, but the only thing I could think about was how I was feeling. I wasn’t panicked or worried. I wasn’t angry or unsure. I felt this warm sensation start at my toes and cascade up my legs. It crept up my back and caused a flush to rise up my neck. I felt my face burning as I sniffled lightly, and for the first time since I’d lost Carl, my world felt whole again.
My heart wasn’t sinking with sadness but overflowing with joy.
“Sarah?”
“Yes, Mommy?”
“Could I have my phone back?” I asked.
“But I’m not done,” she said, pouting.
“How about this, Sarah,” Brandon said, “if you give your phone back to Mommy, I promise that all of us will get together and play when I get back into town.”
“Really, Daddy?” Max asked.
“Really,” he said.
Sarah quickly scrambled and handed me my phone. I waved goodbye to Max and Angela before they hung up the phone as Sarah brushed by me and ran toward the couch. She jumped up onto it and grabbed her ice cream while she settled in for the rest of the movie. Then, I turned my tear-stained gaze back to Brandon.
In that very moment, I’d made my decision.
“How are you doing, Melissa?” he asked.
“I love you, Brandon.”
My admission stopped him in his tracks. I saw his eyes widen with shock as his lips parted slightly, and I smiled before I started giggling to myself.
“Holy hell, I love you so much.”
“Do you mean that?” he asked.
“Oh, yes,” I said breathlessly. “Every single word of it. Brandon, I don’t want to lose you. I-I can’t lose you. I can’t navigate all this emotional shit on my own, but I also don’t want to. I don’t want to do it with anyone else. I don’t want the appointments with Dr. Smith. I don’t want to go to another doctor’s office. I don’t want to wake up in my bed alone, and I don’t want to go to sleep without you knowing that I love you more than life.”
I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me, and I pressed a kiss to the picture on the camera. With my admission came a weight that lifted from my shoulders. I felt my back straighten as my shoulders rolled back. I felt my joints slowly release their tension as I leaned up against the hallway wall. I blushed with excitement as I buried my face into my hands, and in that moment the words I’d been wanting to say all along simply slipped from between my lips.
“I can’t lose you again.”
“You won’t, Mel. Do you hear me? Look at me.”
I raised my gaze up from my hand and connected my eyes with his. In that very moment, he held my heart underneath the toe of his shoe. He could crush it at any moment, leaving me to suffer in a pile on the floor.
But instead, he picked my heart up and placed it in the palm of his hand, cradling it closely to his body as his lips parted to speak.
“I’m going to come home early, all right? No one will be angry. No one will be missing out. But I need to see you. And it sounds like we need to all see each other.”
“When should I expect you?” I asked.
“I’ll see you Thursday,” he said.
For the first time since I’d buried my husband, I looked forward waking up the next morning.
Chapter 31
Brandon
Melissa was expecting me today, but I still wanted to surprise her. I told her to expect me that evening, but as my jet touched down Thursday morning, I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of excitement. I was taking a limo to surprise her at work for lunch. I couldn’t wait to see her and to hold her and hear her voice. I wanted to watch her lips when she told me she loved me. I wanted to kiss her beautiful pout and swallow her moans. I wanted to laugh with her over lunch before kissing her deeply and dropping her back off at work.
I wanted to show her what every day of the rest of her life could look like.
I had the limo take me home, so I could shower and change. I had to cancel the last leg of my book tour in order to come back early, so I told my agent to secure everyone tickets to my upcoming conference, free tickets for all of them as well as a backstage pass so they could get their merchandise signed by me like they were trying to have done today.
My agent called to inform me that the tickets and backstage passes were a hit.
I was a trending topic on Twitter as well as the talk of the town in the media. My book was getting more press than I ever could’ve imagined, and the free tickets advertised my conference well before its time. That one little gesture stoked the fire of what ended up becoming the most lucrative decision of my entire career, and it was all because I came home early to see Melissa.
The limo pulled up to Melissa’s office and I started through the front doors. I looked around, trying to find some sort of guide that would help me figure out what floor she was located on, but the secretary at the main desk answered my question before I even asked.
“Looking for Melissa Conway?” she asked, grinning.
“This must be why you have your job,” I said. “I am. What floor is she located on?”
“The sixth floor. All the way down the hallway. It dead ends into her luxurious office,” the woman said as she rolled her eyes.
“Not a great view down here?” I asked.
“Got great when you walked in,” she said, winking. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Black. I’ve heard a great deal about you.”
“Oh, really?”
“I’m friends with Melissa,” she said.
“Wait. Are you Ava?” I asked.
“Oh, yikes. How much has she dished about us during those therapy sessions?” she asked, grinning.
“She proclaims you to be her best friend,” I said as I walked toward her. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Let me give you a piece of advice,” she said. “I know you know Melissa from way back, but she’s different now. A new woman. And she’s broken. And hurting.”
“I’m aware of that, yes,” I said.
“But for her, it’s simple. She only wants people to do what they say they will.”
“There will never be any moment where I go against my word. I can assure you of that,” I said.
“Look, Melissa hasn’t shut herself away because she’s depressed. Well, there’s some of that in there, but her depression isn’t coming from the source most people think.”
“Then enlighten me,” I said.
“Time and time again, she’s tried to step out into the world. And time and time again, the world has shown her why she never should’ve done it. She stepped out into the world when she loved you, and you shoved it back into her face. She stepped out into the world with college, and her parents abandoned her. She stepped out into the world when she allowed Carl to come in and heal her, and he died. That’s how she routes it in her head. She steps out, she gets hurt, and it’s more proof why she shouldn’t have gotten out of bed in the first place.”
“And here I thought I was supposed to be t
he professional,” I said.
“I’ve spent years with her. I knew her when she first married Carl. It’s simple, but hard to dig out of her because she clutches it so close to her chest. Don’t make her regret stepping out again. I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back if you do.”
“I promise you, Ava, I will take great care of her,” I said.
