"Where did you get that?" Drew made a grab for the book, but Cole held it out of reach.
"It doesn't matter where I got it," Cole said. "What did you do to Emily?"
"Nothing."
"Drew, you have to tell us," Laura pleaded. "Whatever happened, we have to know. Otherwise, this will never end."
"I didn't hurt Emily," Drew said sharply.
"Then why did you go to her room that night?"
"You want to know why? Fine. I went to Emily's room to look for the journal. I heard Madison joking with Emily one day that she could probably blackmail people with her journal, and I got to thinking that maybe she'd written something in there about me. I didn't get a chance to look for it, because Emily was in the room, talking on the phone to someone, so I left. I'm sure someone saw Emily after me. Maybe Madison."
"Madison?" Dylan asked. "Madison was with Emily that night?"
"I don't know for sure," Drew said, "but—"
"Shit!" Dylan swore.
Cole sent Dylan a curious look. "What's wrong?"
"Madison said she loved me when we were in college, that she was angry that I never paid any attention to her; I was always too busy with Emily."
Cole connected the dots and suddenly there was a new picture, one he hadn't considered. "Where's Madison now?"
"She left us a while ago to follow Diane, Professor Martin's wife," Laura explained, looking confused and troubled. "What's going on? You don't think Madison had anything to do with Emily's fall, do you?"
Cole took the stairs two at a time. He had to get to Natalie before Madison did.
* * *
"You pushed Emily off the roof," Natalie said, staring at the woman in front of her. Everything suddenly made so much sense.
"It was an accident. She slipped."
"That's what you wanted us to think."
"That's what everyone did think. You certainly couldn't remember anything. But your memory has come back, hasn't it? I knew it would. I knew you'd remember seeing me run out of Emily's room right after she screamed. I had an explanation all ready. I kept waiting for the questions to come. But they never did."
Natalie stared at the woman she'd thought she'd known. Had she seen her run out of Emily's room? She blinked, remembering that dizzy, nauseous feeling as she turned toward the bathroom, her stomach churning. A flash of red had caught her eye, then disappeared. "I didn't remember until now," she said. "You shouldn't have told me."
Uncertainty flashed in the woman's eyes as she realized her mistake. "You won't tell anyone. I won't let you."
"How will you stop me? I'm not going to slip off this roof the way Emily did."
"No, she's not," Cole interrupted, as he came through the window.
Natalie was shocked by his appearance but relieved to see him, and was even happier when Dylan, Drew, and finally Laura followed him.
The woman between them suddenly realized she was cornered. "It was an accident," she said, putting up a hand. "A stupid accident. No one can prove otherwise."
"I can—Diane," Madison said, as she climbed out onto the roof. "And so can your husband. Come on out here, Professor Martin."
Natalie's jaw dropped as the man they'd spent the past week searching for came through the window. Professor Martin looked nothing like Garrett Malone. The beard was gone, as were the thick glasses and the long hair. He was pale with a crew cut and ordinary brown eyes.
"Tell them what you told me," Madison ordered, nudging the professor's arm.
Greg Martin was staring at his wife in disbelief. "Did they just say that you pushed Emily off the roof? How is that possible?"
"It was an accident. I came here that night to tell that little home wrecker to stay away from you," Diane replied. "I would have been justified in pushing her, but the truth is she slipped. It was an accident, and no one would have ever known if you hadn't written that damn book, Greg."
"I didn't know it was you. I thought it was Natalie. When I came to the house that night I saw two women on the roof. And I saw ..." His voice broke, and he struggled for control. "I saw Emily fall. I heard her scream. I'll never forget the terror of that sound." He looked at Natalie. "I thought you did it."
"How could you think that?" Natalie asked.
"Because Emily had called me that night in tears. She said you'd had a terrible fight. That's why I came over. I knew she was upset, but I was too late." He shook his head with regret. "Later I found her journal. She'd left it in my office after one of our tutoring sessions. I read about her conflict with you over Cole. I put the two together."
"And came up with five," Natalie said harshly. "If you had suspicions about me, why didn't you just go to Cole or the Parishes? Why did you write a book?"
"I couldn't tell anyone about my involvement with Emily. I would have lost my job and Diane would have been humiliated. I knew I had already hurt her with the affair." He glanced at Diane, who quickly averted her gaze. "That's why I wrote the book under a pen name and took steps to make sure no one would know who I was. That's why I disguised myself for book tour appearances. I had no idea the novel would be such a hit. But I was glad when people started to recognize the story. I didn't even care that your true names came out. I wanted you to pay for Emily's death, Natalie, because I loved her, and I thought you'd gotten away with murder. Emily was beautiful and innocent, and she didn't deserve to die," he said passionately. "God, Diane, why did you do it? She was just a kid, a sweet kid. She wasn't the guilty party, it was me. Why did you go after her? I told you we'd ended it. That it was over. You didn't have to come here that night."
"Yes, I did. I had to tell that little bitch what I thought of her," Diane said hotly. "She wasn't sweet and innocent. She knew what she was doing, and she wasn't sorry."
"She was sorry," Natalie interrupted. "She told me so that night."
"It doesn't matter. None of you can prove anything," Diane said.
"We'll let the police decide that," Cole said sharply. He moved to stand directly in front of Diane. "I'll tell you this. If they don't make you pay, I will."
"You can't threaten me." She looked around wildly. "If something happens to me, everyone will know you did it. I have witnesses. They all heard you."
"If something happens to you, it might be me who does it," Madison said.
"Or me," Dylan added.
"Or me," Natalie said.
"Greg—you have to help me." Diane turned to her husband, her hand raised in a silent plea. "I did it for you, for us. I just wanted her to leave us alone. I never meant for her to fall."
"But you didn't really care that Emily fell or that she died," he said flatly.
"And you didn't really care that you hurt me," she retorted. "If you hadn't written that damn book, this wouldn't be happening right now."
Which was truly the irony of it all, Natalie realized. Greg had wanted to expose the true killer, and he had—his wife.
"Let's go." Dylan grabbed Diane's arm. "It's time for you to have a little chat with the Santa Cruz Police."
With his grip on her arm, Diane had no choice but to go with him. Madison, Laura, and Drew followed, leaving Cole and Natalie alone with the professor.
"I'm sorry," Greg said to her. "Truly sorry. I honestly thought I was right about you."
"But you weren't right, and you will make a public statement as to just how wrong you were—about Emily's death and also about the pills that I did not supply to her," Natalie told him. "After that, I'll decide if I want to pursue legal action."
He nodded. "It doesn't matter. It will all come out now, anyway. I'm glad. Emily was too good a person to have been anyone's nasty little secret, including mine." He looked at Cole. "She was a wonderful girl. And she was crazy about her family. That's why we got together in the first place. She begged me to tutor her. She didn't want to let anyone down by failing my class."
"You seduced her," Cole said furiously. "You made an innocent girl feel like she had no choice but to—"
"No, he didn't," Natalie inte
rrupted. She saw anger flare in Cole's eyes, but there had been too many misunderstandings already. "Emily told me she loved him. She said it was all her idea. I remember that conversation now. I remember everything."
"Thank you for saying that," the professor said. He looked from one to the other. "I'd better go talk to the police."
Natalie watched him climb through the window, leaving her alone with Cole. They stared at each other for a long minute. Now that everyone was gone, she became acutely aware of where they were and what had happened here. Cole must have felt the same way, because he walked past her to gaze over the edge of the roof to the ground below. She wanted to tell him not to look, but she knew she couldn't. After a moment, he turned back around, his face pale, his jaw tight. She sensed he was battling for control, and she wanted to help. So she went to him.
She put her arms around his waist and held him close, burying her face in the curve of his shoulder. She could feel him shaking, but not a sound came through his tight lips. He wasn't a man to give in to emotion, but he needed to find a release. Natalie lifted her head and kissed him. The groan, which sounded more like a sob, burst through his mouth as he kissed her back with a passion and desperation that swept over her like a tidal wave. She wanted to give Cole comfort, but somewhere in the middle of the kiss, she found comfort, too. She was able to express all the words she couldn't speak and all the feelings she wasn't supposed to feel. It was both painful and liberating.
Tears began to spill out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Cole pulled away, his breath coming in deep, ragged gasps. He wiped away her tears with a gentle finger. "Don't cry, Natalie."
"I'm trying not to," she said with a sniff. She took a step back and drew in a long, deep breath of fresh air. "Everything just got to me."
"I know."
And he did know. She could see it in his eyes. "We should go down to the police department, finish this once and for all."
He nodded. "I have to call my parents, too. And then you and I—we need to talk."
"I remembered something else from that night, Cole. Emily told me that you were dating someone in San Francisco. Her name was Cynthia."
"I saw her a few times," Cole admitted. "She was a family friend, and I wanted to distract myself—from you."
"Did it work?"
His eyes were clear and honest when they met hers. "No. And it never went further than a few dinners. Does that really matter to you now?"
"No, but I can't help wondering if one of the reasons I couldn't remember all this time was because I didn't want to remember the pain of that knowledge. I know it hurt me at the time, because I didn't understand what was going on with you then. I didn't comprehend how I could tell you that I loved you and you would go out with someone else. Now I do. You saw my words of love like a steel trap closing around you, and you tried to escape."
"That's probably true."
"No probably about it. Anyway, it's all in the past."
"Is it?" Cole challenged. "What about now? How do you feel now?"
"Do you actually think I'm going to tell you how I feel—after what happened the last time? I'm not that stupid. Why don't you tell me how you feel?" she challenged.
He hesitated for one telling second too long. He obviously couldn't say the words she wanted to hear. "Natalie—"
"No, don't, Cole." She put up a hand to stop him, knowing that she couldn't take one more rejection from this man. "I'd rather not know." She took a deep breath. "There are no second chances, Cole. Not for Emily. Not for any of us. You need to move on with your life, and I need to do the same. This is over. It's all finally over. And we're done."
* * *
"It's over, Drew." Laura leaned against the door to Drew's car and folded her arms in front of her chest. She'd learned more about her husband in the last hour than she'd learned in the last ten years. "I can't believe you sold drugs to Emily. How could you have done such a thing?"
"They weren't dangerous. Everyone was taking them. And I needed the cash. Not all of us had parents with money, Laura."
"It was still wrong. Don't you get that, Drew?"
"It was a long time ago. We were kids."
"And that excuses it?"
"That incident has nothing to do with our lives now." Drew shrugged out of his sports coat, opening the back door of the car to toss it inside. "Can we do this at home? This isn't the best place to have a discussion."
"There's never a good time or a good place for you to talk. This suits me fine."
"We're in the parking lot of your old sorority house."
"Exactly. This is where it began, Drew. Where we really fell in love. Or was it just me who did the falling?" She searched his blue eyes for the truth, but as always Drew was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings from her.
"I married you, didn't I?" he said wearily.
It wasn't exactly a declaration of love. "Why did you marry me? Was it because of my parents? My father's law school connections? My money?"
His gaze hardened. "Are you sure you want me to answer those questions?"
A shiver of fear ran down her spine. Was she being brave or stupid? Was she about to ruin her life and the lives of her children? She turned her head and gazed at the sorority house, drawing strength from the lessons she'd learned there and the people she'd known, especially Emily. Emily wouldn't have wanted her to waste her life, drifting, accepting instead of challenging and demanding. "Yes," she said. "I do want answers."
Please, God, let them be the right answers.
"All of the above," Drew replied.
His words took the wind out of her sails. Well, now she knew, didn't she?
"And I—I loved you," Drew added. The words didn't flow smoothly from his mouth, but then, Drew had never felt comfortable talking about feelings.
"Do you still love me?"
"I'm here, aren't I?"
"Why are you here? And where have you been? I left a dozen messages that you didn't return. I know you were in L.A. on personal business. Dad told me." Laura drew in a deep breath and asked the question that had been rambling around in her mind for a long time. "Are you having an affair?"
"No," he said forcefully.
"Then why are you being so secretive? Where have you been the last week? And why couldn't you tell me?"
"Laura, I really don't want to do this here. Let's get in the car and drive home."
"No. It's here and now. Because later there will be another excuse why we can't continue this discussion. Answer the question, Drew."
"Or what?" he challenged her. "Because that sounds like an ultimatum."
She licked her lips, feeling nervous again. Did she really want to give him an ultimatum? What if he left? What if her marriage ended right here? What would she do then?
She'd survive. She'd go on with her life. She'd be all right.
The answers came from deep within her soul.
Squaring her shoulders, she straightened up and said, "Don't turn this around on me, Drew. I want to know what you were doing in L.A."
He studied her as if she were on the witness stand. "All right. I went to L.A. to talk to Garrett Malone. When I got there, I realized he was Professor Martin. I knew he and Emily had had an affair. I caught them one day. She made me promise not to tell," he said, putting up a hand when Laura started to interrupt. "And I agreed. We all had secrets. She deserved to have one, too."
"If Emily had a secret, you had something on her," Laura said, suddenly seeing the clear picture. "She couldn't tell anyone you gave her the drugs or you would reveal that she was having an affair. Is that what you went to tell her the night of the party?"
"I'd already told her that. I went there to see if she'd written anything in her journal about me."
"I wonder why she didn't write it down."
"She probably didn't want to incriminate herself."
Laura shook her head, not liking any of Drew's answers. But at least he was being honest. "All right. So you went to L.A. to talk to t
he professor. What happened?"
"I caught up with him before his book signing. I told him I knew who he was."
"How did you know? I saw him, and I didn't recognize him."
"His disguise was good," Drew admitted. "But I figured he was the one behind the book, so I just bluffed, and he admitted everything. I told him to get off the publicity circuit and make sure this book died a sudden death, or I'd expose everything."
"That's why he suddenly canceled all his engagements." She paused, still curious. "Why did you stay in L.A. after that? Because that sounds like one conversation."
"The rest has nothing to do with Emily or the book."
"I want to hear it anyway."
"Fine. I've been thinking about leaving your father's firm. I want more autonomy, more freedom, and more money. Your dad wants me to work my way up slowly. I've never been a patient man, Laura, you know that. I've been offered a job in L.A., and I was interviewing with several of the partners yesterday and today."
Laura felt her jaw drop. "Are you serious?"
"I didn't tell you, because I haven't decided what I want to do yet."
"You haven't decided? This isn't your decision. It's our decision. I'm supposed to be your wife, your partner."
"Calm down," Drew said, looking around.
"No, I'm done with calm. This is my life you're talking about. If you're not happy working for my father, then you should leave. But you need to talk to me before you make decisions about uprooting our family and moving to L.A. Or weren't you planning to take us with you?"
Drew ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know anymore, Laura. Can you honestly say you're happy?"
She stared at him in dismay. "I think I could be happy—if we made some changes."
"Like what?" he demanded.
Normally, his abrupt manner would have intimidated her, but she seemed to have grown a spine sometime in the last week. "Like you come home for dinner at least three times a week. We spend quality time alone together." She waved her hand in the air. "I want you to be part of the family. I want you to listen to me when I talk to you instead of brushing me off."
"Is that it?"
All She Ever Wanted Page 28
