by Macy Farmer
“I didn’t think you heard me through all my sobbing,” not actually answering his question.
“I did, including the ones while you were sleeping. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Could you at least tell me what you see for us? Have you had any visions about us?” He turned away, avoiding eye contact.
Memories of the first time we met replayed in my mind. He introduced himself with a tap on my shoulder and a handshake – my gift revealed absolutely nothing of the man before me.
My questioning eyes met his heated, longing stare. A smirk curled the corners of his mouth, “I was just wondering.”
“Honestly, Bradley, I haven’t seen anything.” Taking his hand in mine, my eyes closed, I concentrated, hard, trying to see something, anything. Unfortunately, I saw absolutely nothing. “Sometimes the visions just come to me. To see someone for whom they truly are, where they’ve been or are going, I need to touch them or vice versa. Since the first time you touched me – I’ve seen nothing. You are the first and only person I have ever met and touched that I truly can’t see. I don’t know why that is. Maybe you are blocking me somehow. It would make things a lot easier if I could really see how you feel, who you are.
“Typically, I don’t try to see anything or if I do I’ll try to block it. I think it’s rude, like I’m invading someone’s privacy.” It was too easy to talk to him. Before I realized it, I started talking without thinking and, yet again, inadvertently may have said too much. I searched his eyes for my answer and slowly began to pull my hand away.
Refusing to let go, his grip tightened. “So I guess you’ll have to figure me out the old fashioned way. You could just ask me how I feel, although I think it’s quite obvious. I’ve never chased after anyone like I’ve been chasing after you. I’m still here, aren’t I?”
Puzzled by that fact I asked, “Why is that? I’m only here for a couple of weeks so it doesn’t make sense why you would bother to come around. If you think I’m easy, you’re wrong. I’m not looking for a fling.” The words spewed out unintentionally.
He stood abruptly, ripping his hand from mine. Nostrils flared and eyes hard with anger, “Is that what you think? If that were the case Natalia, I would have taken advantage of you last night. It would have been so easy. The fact that you can’t see how I feel... Forget it. I’ll see you around,” he turned to leave.
“No, wait. Please. It didn’t come out right. Please don’t go.” I ran and jumped in front of him.
Grabbing his arms, I pleaded, “Please,” to stop him from leaving. If he left now I knew I’d never see him again. The thought of never seeing him again, ending it this way, terrified me. My eyes filled with tears. “Really, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I know you’re not like that. I’m just not used to not knowing. Please let me explain what I meant. If you still want to leave afterwards, I won’t stop you and you’ll never have to see me again.”
Once again he wiped my tears away. “Please don’t cry -- explain away.” He spoke softly but the disappointment remained in his eyes.
“I haven’t dated much. I've never even had a real boyfriend. When I did go out with someone, it ended badly. We would be at the movies and he’d hold my hand then I would see what he was really thinking. Guys weren’t dating me to get to know me they always wanted more. I saw what they wanted and some of it wasn’t nice. It was wrong and mean. And when I did meet someone semi decent, I refused to touch them for fear I’d see their true intentions. They’d break up with me saying I was a freak. Again, leaving me to believe their intentions weren’t pure. I’ve learned to accept that I will never truly be with anyone. Then you come along, I know it’s only been a few days, but…” I trailed off.
Before I could finish explaining, he took hold of my waist, pulled me towards him into a tight embrace. “There’s no need to explain any further. I understand and I can promise you one thing Natalia; I can promise you that my feelings for you are pure – sincere -- true.” He drew my face up to his then gently brushed his lips across mine and whispered, “I should tell you now just in case you do get into my mind, I have thought about more than just kissing you, especially since our kiss last night. I want you in every way – and not just physically. Please know that. Before last night, I only imagined what it’d be like to kiss you. Now I can’t wait for the next kiss. I’ve never felt anything like it and I’ve kissed a lot of women.”
Although he was teasing, jealously reared its ugly head, and I pushed him away. “Really? What does a lot actually mean?” Crossing my arms over my chest, I clenched my teeth to prevent myself from muttering any nasty thoughts.
He threw his head back and laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh with him, at myself and my bratty behavior. Pulling me towards him again, he closed the gap between us, until my body melded against his and there was not room for anything to come between us. “I like that you’re jealous, it means that you like me -- though I don’t know why. Natalia, I haven’t kissed another woman since the first day I laid eyes on you. Anything before that doesn’t count.”
Before I could say another word, Bradley pulled me in even tighter and pressed his warm lips to mine. His right hand slid up the side of my neck, fingers tickled and teased before securing firmly to the nape of my neck. Our lips parted, his tongue caressing over my plumped flesh. Our tongues collided, clashing together. A sexy groan rumbled from the depth of his chest. Our bodies melted into one another. My splayed fingers ran through the silky strands of his hair. Clenching a fistful, I drew him closer, deepening our kiss. I longed for more, to take it further. Just as I was about to jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist he slammed on the brakes and pushed me away. We stood, cautiously staring at one another, both breathing heavily.
Smiling wickedly he confessed, “Natalia, I promised my intentions were pure but if you continue to kiss me like that I won’t be able to stop myself.”
Slightly embarrassed by my breathing, I felt the heat warm my cheeks. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
Closing the gap between our bodies again he sighed. “I have to go now.”
“What?? You’re leaving?” Even if I wanted to play it cool, I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
“Yes, I have to. I have to get some work done. I have responsibilities.” Dropping his arms he took my hand and pulled me along with him to his truck. As he opened the door he turned to me and said, “I’ll be back soon enough, try not to sulk too long.”
“Oh so you think I will sulk when you leave, do you? Let me tell you something Bradley…” Before I could say another word he lips covered mine, silencing me.
While I stood there, dazzled by his kiss, he jumped into his truck and rolled down the window, “I’ll see you soon. Have a nice afternoon. Don’t bump into any strangers while I’m gone.” As he drove away, I could still hear his laughter as it reverberated through the forest around me.
Chapter 7
Why is it when you’re on vacation the time flies by? I had been having such a great time. Almost every one of my days has been spent with Bradley, Colleen and Jesse, but mostly with Bradley. I’m not sure if I could go back to the life I lived before visiting Black Forest, before Bradley – so mundane and unfulfilled. Here with Bradley, I no longer walked around in my dreamlike state. Reality is where I wanted to be. When I was with them, I felt like I was with family, like I’ve known them my entire life.
For many reasons, Bradley and I continued to avoid any discussion that involved plans of our future, of after I went home. The few times that we discussed it, he said that it wouldn’t be fair of him to expect me to be in a long distance relationship, that I deserved better. So, to avoid an argument and the disappointment that would surely follow, I told him that we should embrace and enjoy every moment we spent together. That, once my vacation at Black Forest was over, we could discuss our future in more detail. Until then, no one knows what the future will bring – well -- you know what I mean, the future is unknown.
Tonight we were all going
to the Black Forest Star Party. It’s in the Cherry Springs State Park, which is located in Potter County, just North of the campground. Tonight’s the last party of the year. Typically, you had to make reservations way in advance but Bradley knew the people in charge so he got us all in at the last minute.
As we all piled into the truck Colleen said, “Natalia, I can’t wait for you to experience this. It’s amazing how the stars light up the sky! It’s a dedicated astronomy park and only the second International Dark Sky Park in the world – In the world!”
“It’s one of the darkest places in the state of Pennsylvania, in the middle of a massive park. You won’t find a home or street light for twenty or more miles, in any direction. Have you ever heard of it?”
“No, Jess, I’ve never heard of this place or of a Star Party.” Laughing, they reminded me of two little kids on their way to an amusement park.
“The altitude is about a thousand feet above sea level. It’s so dark and the field so spacious that it makes for one great star party. With no light pollution to drown out the brightness of the stars, the stars literally light up the night. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of astronomers will have their telescopes pointed towards the skies. They camp out every night just to attend the week long party.” Bradley squeezed my hand, “I’m glad you decided to come.”
“Me too.”
Lately I’ve been leaving Seager behind while I went to bars almost every evening to watch Bradley sing on stage. Feeling guilty, I hesitated about going out tonight. Seager talked me into coming. Actually, he insisted on it. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” Seager reminded. “Soon we’ll be heading home, back to civilization.” He is such a good dog.
When we arrived at the park I gasped in amazement, “There must be hundreds of people here.” A dirt road ran through the center of the field. Campers, trailers and tents covered every available space on both sides of the road in the massive field. They could be seen for miles! Hundreds of telescopes, of all shapes and sizes, were pointed upwardly, towards the clear blue skies. Binoculars dangled around necks. Chatter, of constellations viewed the nights before, filled the air.
Bradley insisted on bringing some chairs and a blanket. “You’re going to want to have somewhere comfortable to sit,” he said as he and Jess unloaded them from the truck. Catching Colleen and Bradley whispering, I wondered if they discussed, beforehand, what they were bringing and who’d be sitting where.
Colleen had Jesse set up the chairs. Before I could sit down, Colleen nudged me and nodded towards Bradley, who was spreading out a blanket. When I turned to her again, her and Jess were already seated. She winked and nodded towards Bradley again.
“Why don’t you sit next to me?” I spun around. Sitting on the blanket, Bradley patted the empty spot next to him. “I promise I won’t bite,” he teased. All three of them started laughing loudly, causing a scene. Everyone turned around and looked at us, at me. Embarrassed I quickly sat down, my cheeks burning.
Living my life in the light polluted skies of Bucks County, I’ve never truly witnessed darkness. But once the sun went down, I saw it for the first time, darkness. It got so dark I couldn’t see the hundreds of people that were spread across the massive field just a few minutes before. Their chatter still filled the air confirming their presence. I could barely see Bradley who sat right beside me. Even after my eyes adjusted, it was still hard to see him.
Putting his hand on my shoulder Bradley gently pulled me backwards whispering, “Natalia, just lay back and look up at the sky.”
The unnerving dark shadows that surrounded us left me a bit wary. But as requested, I lay down next to him and looked straight up. Once I saw the sky and all its beauty, I threw caution to the wind. I couldn’t believe my eyes. A dark blue canvas filled with sparkling diamonds illuminated the entire night sky. Stars were everywhere. Thousands of them. The sky never looked so magnificently beautiful.
“You can see over three thousand stars. If you were home, you would be lucky to see a quarter of that. The street lights pollute the night sky with their brightness making it hard to see the stars.” Sitting closely beside me, I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear. “Did you know that stars rise about four minutes earlier than the night before?”
“No,” I say, dazzled by the nearness of his breath and his melodious voice.
“Every season we see different stars,” Colleen chimed in.
“Do you see those three stars there, in a row?” Ignoring Colleen, Bradley pointed at the star filled sky. “That’s Orion, the mighty hunter. He’s my favorite.”
“Bradley, this is amazing.” Saying his name thrilled me to no end. “I’ve never seen so many stars before. How long have they been having these star parties? Why is Orion your favorite?”
“You ask a lot of questions,” he laughed. “They started it just over a decade ago. It’s really big now. It’s been designated as Pennsylvania’s first Dark Sky Park by the Department of Conservation and Natural Resources. Every year more and more tourists come to see the stars.” He rolled onto his left side and gently ran his fingers down the right side of my face, from my temple to the tip of my jaw, leaving a trail of warmth.
“Orion’s my favorite because he’s a hunter. I enjoy hunting. I’m very good at it.” He smirked, flashing his pearly whites. Surprisingly, the darker it gets the more the stars brighten the night.
Laughing Jesse asked sarcastically, “Why don’t you tell her why you’re such a good hunter, Brad?”
“Shut up, Jess!” Colleen scolded.
Ignoring them, still gazing at me, he takes me prisoner. I rolled onto my side, facing him, for a better view. I would rather stare at him than the stars any day or night. Needing to touch him, I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair. How long would it be until he kissed me again, I wondered. Leaning in, he rolled me onto my back and snuggled our bodies closely. Slowly my fingers drifted up the length of his back. My heartbeat increased, pounding against my chest. Our lips inches apart, he smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. Just as he was about to give me what I longed for, someone yelled, “Get a room!” So much for the intimate moment I thought, smiling to myself.
Bradley sighed and mumbled a few cuss words under his breath. “What’s up, Anthony? What brings you here? I didn’t think you were into this sort of thing.” Anthony plopped down, practically on top of me. Luckily, Bradley pulled me out of the way while warning, “Watch it!”
“Oh sorry.” The newcomer, Anthony’s, words were heavy with sarcasm. “I heard you guys were coming here. I thought this would be a good chance for me to meet Natalia. I’ve heard so much about her yet you’ve never introduced us. I didn’t think you were so selfish – not sharing such a beautiful woman.” Anthony reached out his hand to shake mine. “Hello, Natalia, I’m Anthony.”
At first I hesitated. Without touch, the stranger gave off bad vibes. His eyes stripped me of my clothes and raped my body. I didn’t want to be rude to one of Bradley’s friends, so I ignored the disgusting vibe and shook his hand while introducing myself.
The perverted vibe and stare should have prepared me for what I would see in his mind. But I was too disgusted. Fully clothed, I still felt a need to cover my breasts with my hands.
When I saw his thoughts, disgust turned to worry. A friend to Bradley, never! He is definitely an enemy. Although I knew it already, I saw him jamming on the stage with Bradley. Despite being the drummer in Bradley’s band, he loathed him. The hatred consumed him. Too much for me to bare I couldn’t hold on long enough to see why he disliked Bradley. I dramatically yanked my hand from his and moved closer to Bradley, protectively.
Bradley whispered into my ear, “Are you okay, Natalia? What’s the matter?”
With a subtle nod, “I’ll explain later.” The ugly vision had my skin crawling. If we weren’t surrounded by people, I would have jumped up, shook my entire body, to shake the ugliness off that crawled all over my skin.
“What are you two whispering about? Did
n’t your mother ever tell you it’s rude to whisper?” This guy would know all about being rude. He was manipulative and went out of his way just to hurt people. And he wanted to hurt Bradley.
He ignored the fact that we didn’t answer his questions and continued talking. “So, Natalia, how much longer are you staying for?” Trying to ignore him, I acted as if I didn’t hear him and just stared at the stars.
When I didn’t respond, he leaned in closer and spoke a little louder, “I heard you like riding. Have you been to Bloody Skillet yet?” Without waiting for me reply this time, “Maybe I could take you some time?” Bradley’s body stiffened next to my already rigid posture.
Colleen asked Jesse, “Did he just ask Natalia out?” They were on the edge of their seats, ready to spring from their chairs and tackle the idiot, if need be. To avoid any conflict, which is what I believed Anthony wanted, I declined his offer. To be polite and nothing more, I thanked him as well.
“Oh well, maybe some other time.” He inched closer. “Heard you were staying in one of the cabins at the Black Forest campground. Maybe I can stop by and take you out to dinner?” This jerk was definitely trying to provoke Bradley and ruin our night.
Two can play this game. “No thank you. Bradley has that covered. He’s a mighty fine chef.” I replied smugly. Bradley relaxed a little more by my response, but his expression confused me. I wondered what was going through that overactive mind of his.
Anthony moved even closer to me. Skimming his finger over my hand he continued making small talk. We all ignored him, although he made it nearly impossible for me to do so.
After several minutes of seeing Anthony’s vulgar thoughts, I turned to Bradley and asked if he would mind taking me home. Anthony spoiled the evening and was freaking me out the way he kept staring and touching me.
Before Bradley had a chance to reply, Anthony offered to take me home, claiming, “So that Colleen and Jesse won’t have to leave as well.”
