by Macy Farmer
“BRADLEY!” I screamed, struggling yet again to escape his grasp.
“He can’t hear you,” he said wickedly, licking the side of my face.
“Seager, please go get Bradley!” I pleaded weakly.
My eyes filled with tears, terrified I pleaded, “Please let me go and leave. P-please.”
Startlingly, my phone trilled. I tried to answer it but he just ripped it from my hand. After he saw the caller ID and knew who was calling, he grimaced while throwing my phone onto the couch.
With one hand still on my throat he said, “Oh, Natalia, I like it when you beg. If I didn’t have to go right now I’d stay and show you how much. In my showing you, you’d beg for more, unlike last night. Tell Brad that I’ll catch up with him later. I promise.” The threatening promise to catch up with Bradley terrified me more.
Angrier after Bradley’s interruption, he slammed my head against the door again, harder than before. I literally saw stars. Bending over he kissed me, choking me with his tongue as he rubbed his groin against my stomach. His fingers tightened around my throat, cutting off my air supply, making me gasp. I scratched and clawed at his wrists trying to get him to release me, to let me breath. My head hit the door again before he released my throat. Holding my head and gagging, I struggled to breathe. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and demanded, “Go outside and grab that mutt of yours.” After opening the door, he aggressively threw me out it then slammed it closed behind me.
I swung the door open and screamed, “Get 'em Seager.” Seager rushed into the cabin growling and snarling. The tan streak on his back now black with fury, the fur stood straight up from the back of his skull to the tip of his tail.
When he returned he said, “He’s gone. Climbed out the window. Are you alright? I’m so sorry I couldn’t get in. I tried.”
“No, I’m alright.” I tried to downplay it. I felt so disgusting that I had this immediate need to brush my teeth and get in the shower.
“No you’re not. I’m sorry, Natalia. I should’ve jumped through the window.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m getting in the shower. Please don’t let him in. Don’t let anyone in.”
“I promise no one will get past me.” His eyes were full of regret.
Before I jumped into the shower, I brushed and scrubbed my teeth until my gums bled. Once the water hit my face, tears started pouring from my eyes uncontrollably. It’s a horrible feeling to be held against your will -- being forced to do something you don’t want to do. I didn’t get out of the shower until the tears stopped; it took a while. I spent most of the time sitting with my arms wrapped tightly around my knees, rocking back and forth while the water washed his filthy touch off of me. The back of my head had a huge bump on it causing me pain when I combed my hair. By the size of it, I may end up with a headache later on.
When I finally came out Bradley was there, both him and Seager looked as though they had failed me. Seager must have told him what happened. Not knowing what to say I walked up to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in it. My body trembled as I sobbed, “I’m so sorry, Bradley.”
He held me tight, his voice sounded bewildered as he uttered, “Why are you apologizing, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He kissed me.” Horrified that he was going to leave again I held him tight.
“It’s not your fault. He forced himself on you. Natalia, sit down. You’re shaking.” I didn’t move so he picked me up, carried me to the couch and sat me on his lap.
“This is my fault. He tricked me into leaving you. When Jesse went back into the bar, Anthony was gone. Jesse tried to call me so that I would turn around to go back to you but the call would not go through. I should have known it was a trick, that he would have come here.” As usual, he was taking all the blame. The blame was not ours to bear, it was Anthony’s fault. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Why was his tongue so cold and solid like stone? That was not human.
I was just sitting there, staring while biting my bottom lip when Bradley asked, “Natalia, why can’t I hear what you’re thinking? Please talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking.” I didn’t answer him. Instead, I got up and went into the bedroom to lie down. With my face burrowed inside a blanket, I tried to bury the visions deep inside my mind, to block them from hurting me again.
I didn’t feel Bradley get into bed, so when he put his arms around me I startled and pulled away. “It’s okay, it’s me. I’m so sorry.”
We didn’t say anything else. Bradley sang to me as I fell asleep in his arms. Even under these circumstances, I had never felt safer.
Throughout the night, I woke up in horror thinking Anthony was there. Each and every time Bradley was there holding me, whispering to me, “You’re okay. Go back to sleep.” Sometimes I would just hear him singing and the nightmare would change to sweet dreams of us.
In the morning when I woke, Bradley wasn’t there. Upset, I jumped up and ran into the living room. Seager was gone too. I heard someone in the kitchen then got a whiff of coffee brewing. I was relieved to see them both. Bradley was making breakfast while Seager ate his.
“Good morning, are you hungry?” He asked cautiously. Do I look that bad? He looked as though I was about to break in half.
“It’s nice to hear your thoughts again. You look beautiful. Please sit down. I made you some scrambled eggs. I would have preferred serving you breakfast in bed but…”
“Thank you, it smells delicious.” I avoided eye contact for fear I would relive last night’s ordeal.
He sat down next to me, looking at me intensely. “Are you alright?”
Not wanting to talk or think about it, I simply replied, “Yes.” I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I gobbled the eggs down. I also drank two glasses of orange juice and still that didn’t quench my thirst, so I drank a bottle of water.
Now feeling a little more confident, I looked into Bradley’s eyes. They were still cautious and full of silent questions. In an attempt to show them that last night didn’t faze me as much as they think, and to avoid questions I immediately started the conversation with a subject Bradley liked. “What time do the auditions start?”
“Soon. Dave called and we have several interviewees. One of them is a strong candidate. We could get lucky and find a replacement today.” He too avoided talking about last night. “Why don’t you come with me? You can meet Dave.”
Remembering to block my thoughts so as not to hurt his feelings, I think, “Is this how it’s going to be now?” He’ll have to take me everywhere with him. How will I know whether I’m there because he’s worried Anthony may come back around or if he really wants me with him? The last thing I want is Bradley feeling like he always has to be around me, not able to live his own life. Well in a few days, I’ll be going home and it’ll no longer be a problem. Bradley can have his life back and I can go back to my boring, mundane life.
Pulling me from the depth of my thoughts, Bradley asked me the same question he asked me last night but I had refused to answer. “Why can’t I hear your thoughts anymore? It’s a little frustrating especially when you’re staring into outer space with that serious look on your face. You looked so sad.” His fingers caressed my cheek.
“I blocked my thoughts from you. Seager and I practiced while you were gone yesterday,” my voice still distant.
“You’re blocking me out, but why?”
Hearing that my words had hurt him deeply, I woke from my trance and looked into his beautiful blue green eyes. “I figured I better learn how to block some of my thoughts from you so I don’t drive you crazy. Now I can think about our wonderful night, any time I want to.” Just thinking about it puts a huge smile on my face.
“I want to hear everything you’re thinking, but if you feel better this way I understand, especially when you want privacy. Thoughts are meant to be private.” He tried to put up a front as though it didn’t bother him, but I could see clearly that it did.
“How long before we ha
ve to leave?” I asked.
“We have about an hour of time to waste. Why, what’s up?
Not answering him I got up, went into into the bathroom, and did my morning routine of brushing my teeth, washing my face then put my hair up in a bun. The lump went down a little but my head is still sensitive. I’m just glad I didn’t wake up with a headache. When I returned he was just sitting on the couch, staring off into another world.
“Where’s Seager?”
Not looking up he replied, “He’s out on the porch.”
“Good. So, Bradley, are you going to kiss me today or am I going to have to wait until tomorrow?” Bradley’s head snapped up and around so quickly I thought he’d given himself whiplash. Laughing I said again, but vocally, “Well, do I get a good morning kiss or what?”
With that, Bradley jumped over the back of the couch, picked me up, and planted one right on my lips. It was when his smooth cold tongue touched mine I felt it for the first time. It’s smooth like marble almost like Anthony’s, except that Bradley’s tongue isn’t as hard. It’s soft and tender. My response was not at all what either of us was expecting, causing Bradley to pull his lips from mine.
“Are you okay, Natalia?” He looked deeply into my eyes as if he’s trying to read my mind.
Shielding my inner thoughts from him, I think, “Yes. Come back here.”
Reaching up to the back of his head, I twisted his hair in my fingers and pulled his succulent lips to mine. Even though this was the first time I had noticed, his lips and tongue were smooth that didn’t change the fact that his kisses were like heaven to me. To reassure him that everything was okay between us I let that little piece of my thoughts slip out for him to hear. The moment he became aware of my thoughts, I was in his arms and we were off to the bedroom. We continued where we left off last time, except that he didn’t put his hand up my shirt or need to change his clothes. For me, it was just as it was the other night, glorious.
Throughout the entire ride to the studio, I had a wide grin on my face. So did Bradley, especially when he caught me staring at him. I quickly turned my head, blushed and lowered my eyes in evident discomfiture. For most of the drive, my mind wandered and I found myself flirting with thoughts of what it would be like to be with him, how he made my body all tingly, and how his kisses left me breathless.
A thunder of laughter from Bradley pulled me from my fantasies. I hadn’t even realized we were here already.
“What’s so funny?” I looked back at Seager and he was out like a light, snoring away.
“You are, Natalia. For someone who wants to block her thoughts you aren’t doing such a good job. I’ve been hearing them for the entire ride.” He laughed so hard he could barely get the words out. Blocking my thoughts should have been easy, or so I thought. Again, I concentrated on blocking him.
“Why didn’t you say something? They were my private thoughts.” Embarrassed, I crossed my arms over my chest, a sure sign that I was not happy.
“Don’t be mad. I enjoy hearing your thoughts, especially the reckless ones. They are the ones that drive me a little crazy. Though I have to say you do have a good imagination.”
Annoyed he had caught me I said stiffly, “Just the other day you weren’t too happy about hearing my thoughts. What changed your mind?”
“I’m sorry, the next time you slip I’ll say something. I truly enjoyed your thoughts. So much so that I can’t get out of the truck.” Mouth gaping, I looked down at the lower part of his body. We both erupted with laughter. “Come on, let's go in and I’ll introduce you to Dave.”
On the outside their studio looked like an old barn, the wood all worn and weathered. The inside, however, was filled with top of the line recording equipment.
“Wow, Bradley, did you say you owned this?”
“No, not all of it, Dave’s my partner. We’ve been jamming together for a really long time. Actually, since we were kids. I can’t wait for you to meet him.” Taking my hand, he introduced me to Dave. “Yo, Dave, I’d like you to meet Natalia.”
“Well it’s about time. Hello, Natalia, it is a pleasure to finally meet the woman who put the smile back on Brad’s face. He was getting a little hard to deal with lately.” His jolly laughter caused Bradley to join in. Like Bradley, his laughter was musical.
“Knock it off, Dave.” Bradley shoved him into the wall playfully.
“Hi Dave, It’s very nice to meet you too. The studio is unbelievable. From the outside I never would have thought that this is where you guys made such beautiful music.” My cheeks turned red when I saw them both grinning at me. I felt like such a dork.
Bradley put his arm around my shoulders then whispered, “No you’re not.” Our eyes met and mine narrowed at his gaze. Amused he said, “I can hear you.”
I reached out to shake Dave’s hand. After Anthony, I’m determined to find out if he’s friend or foe. Glancing out the corner of my eye, I could tell that Bradley was not pleased by my actions, but I shook his hand anyway. As the images quickly flew through my mind, I felt that his feelings for Bradley were warm and loving. I saw the two of them writing music together. He is a good loyal friend, even concerned that I am going to hurt Bradley. I stared at him, my eyes wide with amazement. His mind was magical. I had never seen anything like it. It flashed by so quickly. For someone as young as he, he sure traveled to many places, he’s been everywhere. There was something else but he gently pulled away before I got to see what it was. When Dave left the room to set up the studio for the audition Bradley abruptly removed his arm from my shoulder, pulling away from me.
“I’ll be back in a little bit, Natalia, make yourself comfortable. I have to go help Dave set up.” His voice sounded cold and distant making me a little nervous.
“Wait, Bradley, what’s wrong?” I reached out and grabbed his arm just before he left the room. “Are you angry with me?”
“Not with you, Natalia. I shouldn’t have brought you here.” His brusque voice made me anxious. Then he gently pulled his arm from my grasp and went to help Dave. We didn’t talk for the rest of the afternoon. He kept his distance from me, not even looking in my direction. I tried to replay what happened, trying to figure out what I did, but came up blank.
Not wanting to come off as desperate, I chose to go with the flow and keep my distance. When Bradley left the room to talk to one of the guys who came to audition, I took the opportunity to try and see Dave’s past again. I gently lean over touching his shoulder, appearing as though I’m interested in what he’s doing. So as not to be too obvious I asked him what’s he was doing. As he explained, I started seeing him as a child then through his teenage years. All the while Bradley is in all his memories. They are really good friends. His parents are retired and living in Florida, and he missed them dearly. Then suddenly, I see what I couldn’t see before.
It was a dark night and he was walking home alone. His fear runs through me as he starts running trying to get away from the man who’s chasing him. When he thinks he’s gotten away from his stalker he stops, turned around and BAM the assailant knocks him to the ground. The next thing I see sends a chill down my spine and I pull my hand off his shoulder. Dave is dead. I pull away too quickly causing him to spin around to look up at me. I tried to hide my eyes that were surely full of fear and shock.
“Are you okay, Natalia? Maybe you should sit down. You look like you just saw a ghost or something.” His eyes knowingly narrowed.
“N-no, I’m okay. I haven’t eaten in a while.” Not quite sure he bought it I added, “I don’t really understand anything you just said. It’s all so confusing.” I pointed to the equipment. It seemed like it worked because he turned back around and started to explain it again.
Unexpectedly, Bradley stood in the doorway and saw the whole thing. The disappointment radiated from his aura as his eyes glared in my direction. I quickly turned away and sat back down knowing I had pushed it enough for one day. I wish I knew why he was so upset with me. I was sure I just made things
worse. I glanced over at Seager and he shook his head, “You can’t leave well enough alone can you?”
“Zip it. Dave has an intriguing mind. I also just wanted to be sure where his loyalty is.”
“Whatever, Nat. Let it rest.”
After the auditions were over Dave and Bradley discussed having the drummer named Bill come back for a second audition tomorrow. Bradley gave him a call and set everything up. Afterwards Dave finally said it was time to call it a night. He had a hot date with a groupie he met at the last show. They agreed to meet back up tomorrow around noon.
The ride back to the cabin was quiet and fast. I never noticed how fast he drove. We were going well over eighty on those thin gravel windy roads. I was so concerned about going off the edge I didn’t think to ask him why he’s was so upset. Holding onto the edge of my seat, I just braced myself for impact.
The silence continued while Seager and I ate dinner; it was deafening. He just stared out the window the entire time we ate, not saying a word. His face was frozen with disappointment and his eyes were far away from here.
Not being able to handle the silence any longer, I walked over to the window to get a peek at what he was staring at and saw nothing. No one was out there. Touching his shoulder, I attempted to get him to look at me. When I was unsuccessful I asked, “Bradley, what happened earlier today? Why are you so upset?” Instead of responding, he swiftly spun around and lifted me into his arms and the next thing I knew we were on the couch, with me once again on his lap. His movement was so fast that everything became a blur.
My eyes met his with the question that only he can hear. “How did we get over here so quickly?” Before my thought was complete, he was kissing me fiercely, his arms wrapped tightly around me. Electricity was running through our bodies. Our breathing once again became heavy and loud. Unable to stop myself I pressed my body into his. The worry soon disappeared and I forgot about him being upset with me.
He ran his hands up and down my back, finding his way under my shirt. I forced myself to pull my lips from his and leaned back, gasping for air. Arching my back provided him easy access to my breasts. My breath shook when he pressed his lips against my left breast. My response provided him the answer he was seeking to his unspoken question, can he go a little further? He began to tenderly kiss them through my shirt, moving from one to another, all the while unhooking my bra. Caressing the right side of my neck with his lips, he pulled me into him and held me so tight it was impossible for me to move.
