And still, Dan held her.
Chapter Twenty
“How is she?”
Dan shook his head at Jo. It had been a week since the battle against Dominic and the Northern Wind, and though Lucy no longer shot daggers at anyone who dared to look at her, she was still far from the kind, sassy woman that he’d fallen in love with. She spent most of the day quiet and sad, staring off into the distance and thinking of things he couldn’t imagine.
“I couldn’t say,” he replied, seeing Jo’s eyes grow sad. “And I don’t know how to fix it.” He gazed listlessly at the walls as they dried with their latest undercoat of paint. “Has she been any better at work?”
Jo shook her head solemnly. “She works hard, same as always, but she’s more reserved. Nothing like the Lucy we’ve come to know.”
Rubbing a hand over his face, Dan’s shoulders slumped. “I wish I could help her.”
“You are helping,” Jo reassured. “All you can do is be there for her. I’m sure your efforts aren’t going unnoticed.” She tried to smile. “When Lucy’s ready to talk, she’ll come to you.”
“What if she never does?” Dan asked with a frown. “What if she’s never ready? I feel like… I feel like there’s something else. Like she’s holding something back from me, but I don’t know what it is.”
Jo tilted her head in contemplation. “Have you tried asking her outright?”
“No,” Dan replied quickly. “The last thing she needs is for me to pry.”
Jo shrugged. “I don’t think you would be,” she replied, gently. “You’re closer to her than anyone else, Dan. If anyone can get through to her and snap her out of this funk, it’s you.” She placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “I think you should at least try before she starts thinking that there’s nothing left for her here in Mountain Haven.”
Dan gave Jo a doubtful look, but didn’t refuse. Maybe she was right; maybe asking the difficult questions was the only viable option he had left.
He gazed out the window to where Lucy was standing, outside basking in a gentle breeze that tousled her dark hair. Dan tossed Jo a small thank you before stepping outside to his mate.
Plastering a big fake smile on his face, he walked up next to her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “Hey,” he murmured. “Feeling any better today?”
She shrugged noncommittally, her face remaining blank. “I’m okay,” she replied. “Took a walk to get some air. Didn’t get far, though.”
Hearing her voice fall so flat and bland broke his heart all over again, but he pressed on. “How about we take a picnic up to our spot tonight?” he asked, hopefully. “I can get takeout, or maybe even make us something from scratch if you want?
She didn’t respond immediately, leaving a terse moment of silence between then that only the wind could fill. Finally, she gave a small nod and Dan breathed out a large sigh of relief.
“Great,” he replied, a bit of his smile becoming genuine. “I’ll come get you as soon as I wrap things up.”
“Okay, thanks,” Lucy replied, voice solemn. Dan tried not to feel hurt by her lack of excitement.
Watching her walk lifelessly back into the shop, Dan ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He had to get through to her, somehow. If he didn’t he feared she wouldn’t give him another chance.
***
Lucy climbed the hill with fervor, breath coming in pants as she attacked the steep climb. Her mind hung on the way Dan had looked at her earlier in the day, making her heart heavy. He was trying so hard but she still couldn’t bring herself to be honest with him, to let him into her mind. Most of her knew that Mountain Haven only wished to protect her and be there for her. They were kind and loyal, worthy of her trust… but she still couldn’t stop the tiny thought in the back of her mind that they wouldn’t depart down the same road of insanity that Dominic did. She wanted so badly to ignore that worry and let them in, but she couldn’t. It was like a mental block that she couldn’t get past; no matter how hard she tried.
As she climbed, she wondered if now was her chance to finally break the cycle. Could she talk things out with Dan and finally have her happiness back? Something in her mind screamed no, that coming up here was a terrible idea, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about the conversation that was to come. She’d never had someone to cope with before, this was entirely new to her, and she was worried that things could go south very quickly.
Finally reaching the top, Lucy doubled over, hands on her knees as she fought to catch her breath.
“You took the hill at a sprint!” Dan gasped as he crested the top behind her. “You trying to get away from something?”
“From myself, mostly,” she replied quietly as she sat on the bench. She was so unsure of what to say, so unaccustomed to opening up to others. She was of a mind to just let her pain eat away at her in silence, but she recalled the stress in Dan’s eyes and how much he’d been trying these past few days. She couldn’t leave him hanging yet again. He deserved better.
“I’m so confused, Dan,” she finally said.
Dan sat down next to her, his eyes filled with concern. “Confused about what, Lucy?” he asked. “I want to help.”
Lucy sighed, not knowing how to continue. There was so much to unpack; she hardly knew where to begin.
“Lucy,” Dan whispered, his hand gently brushing over her shoulders in comfort. “You know you can trust me. I know you know it.”
She looked up at him, desperately. “I want to.” She watched as emotions flickered across his face, but he didn’t speak, waiting patiently for her to continue on. He was always like this, always considering what was best for her over himself. He respected her in all things and tried to never make her feel uncomfortable about the traumas that life with Dominic had bred.
War waged within her. For so long, it had only been her. She’d been absolutely alone, long before the night she and Dominic parted ways back in that alley. But things were not as they were anymore; she was no longer alone. She had a pack. She had a mate. She had her freedom. That was all thanks to the bear before her that dared to take a punch to the face for the safety of a complete stranger. If there was one thing Dan deserved more than anything else in the entire world, it was complete trustworthiness.
She took a deep breath. “When I saw you fighting Dominic,” she began slowly, “I was really scared.”
“Why?” Dan asked, eyes worried.
Lucy swallowed hard, recalling the gashes and bruises that Dan’s bear had incurred while fighting to keep her safe. “I thought he might kill you.” She held out her hand and Dan took it without a second thought. “You were beaten and bloodied, but still you kept on fighting.”
“And I wouldn’t have stopped,” Dan replied matter-of-factly. “Not until I knew you were safe.”
Her heart thawed a little. “I know you wouldn’t have, Dan. That’s why I was so terrified.”
His expression remained hard, no doubt replaying the events of that battle. “I’d do anything to keep you safe, Lucy. You’re worth all of that and more.” He gave her the smallest smile. “Not that Nick would have let me die, but if giving my life was the only way for you to keep yours, I’d take that trade any day of the week.”
“Is this what my life in Mountain Haven’s going to be?” she asked, desperately searching his face for an answer. “Will we always fight? Will I always watch as you risk your life to safe mine over and over again?”
Dan frowned, shaking his head. “No, not at all,” he replied. “Mountain Haven is supposed to be a pack of peace. But right now the Northern Wind is threatening everything Nick and Tom have achieved here.” He looked at her steadily. “What has you so afraid of us, Lucy?”
Lucy turned to face the sunset finding the courage there to keep talking.
“Dominic,” she began softly. “He hates humans.”
Dan didn’t say anything, but he felt his hand stiffen in hers.
“Not like the average shifter either,�
� she continued. “He truly hates them. He’d rather they be completely subservient to shifters or completely eradicated. I’m just worried…” her voice trailed off, the words dying in her throat.
“You’re worried that all shifters are like that,” Dan finished for her, voice hurt. “Deep down, you can’t keep yourself from believing that we all vie for the control that your brother chases.”
“Is that so unreasonable? Lucy asked, eyes miserable. “I mean—”
“Yes, it is,” Dan interrupted. “I get why you think that way, given your background, but we’ve been through so much together since that night in the alley. I just can’t quite believe you still think so little of me.”
Lucy gaped at him, despairing at the sadness in his voice. She’d caused that. “I’m sorry,” she muttered guiltily. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
She wouldn’t have blamed Dan from standing and leaving her right there on the hill, but instead, he simply wrapped an affectionate arm around her shoulders.
He sighed heavily. “I wish I could somehow make you believe that we’re not all like Dominic,” he murmured, pressing his cheek to hers. “There was a time when I thought I’d gotten through to you, just a little, but now I feel like we’re back at square one.” He smiled, sitting back to look at her. “But it’s okay. We have the rest of our lives. I won’t rush things. We’ll make it to where we need to be, in time.”
“There was once a time with you where I’d thought I left the fighting and violence behind me in that alley. But now there will be even more fighting,” she replied, heavily.
Dan’s arm tightened around her. “But not by choice,” he said. “We fight for peace; they fight for power. If the Northern Wind took a vow of armistice right now, we’d never see battle again.”
The conversation fell quiet once more, Lucy watching intently as the sun began to sink below the horizon. It reminded her of their last time here. Dan had been so careful and gentle with her, letting her take the lead whenever possible; he had not displayed the signs of a bear thirsting for control. When she needed saving, he was there, too. He didn’t fight for blood, but rather for protection. He was the polar opposite of Dominic in every way, and he’d been trying to prove that to her from day one. It was about time that she started acknowledging that.
“I’ve seen Dominic do terrible things,” she finally replied, so quietly that her voice was almost completely carried away on the wind. She didn’t continue, her hesitation halting the words once more.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Dan gazed over at her. “Take your time, tell me when you’re ready.”
Shaking her head, the first tear trickled slowly down her cheek. “No, I need this.” She looked up at him, seeing his compassionate expression. It reaffirmed her belief that, maybe in trusting him, everything would finally be okay. So, she continued.
“I know I told you we had a home, but the truth is that was so long ago, I can hardly remember what it looked like.” She took a deep breath and charged on, ignoring the fear that tied knots in her gut as she spoke. “He killed a man, a long time ago. It was over something stupid, but the bear didn’t care. The rage was like a drug for him, he always craved more, and in a fit of addiction, he murdered someone in cold blood. The death attracted attention. Fingers pointed at him, and so we ran.”
“It only got worse from there. Dominic’s bear is…” She shuddered, her words faltering, “… bloodthirsty. Dominic is bloodthirsty. Death followed us. I couldn’t exactly prove what was happening, but he’d come back to whatever hovel we were squatting in spattered in blood and dirt and…” Her voice trailed off once more as she shrugged.
“I’m sure he’s killed plenty of men, though I made sure I didn’t know why. I thought that, somehow, it might absolve me of whatever crimes he was committing, but now I know better. That blood he’d be covered in… it never smelled of bear. Just human. And he was always smiling.”
Her gaze was piecing as she searched Dan’s face, hoping frantically that she hadn’t just destroyed all hope of happiness with him. “That’s why I can’t ever believe that shifting is good. We shifters have so much power; we should be protecting humans with it, not killing them. Dominic was all I knew for so long. It’s why I’ve struggled so much to believe that others—that you—aren’t like him.”
Dan’s thumb stroked her cheek tenderly, wiping away her tears with love and understanding in his eyes. “And what about now, Lucy?”
Fresh tears spilled over his fingertips as he comforted her, and something like hope brimmed in her chest. “I finally believe that you aren’t like Dominic,” she wept softly. “I believe you truly want peace.”
“Good,” he whispered quietly before his lips met hers.
The kiss was sweet and slow, filled with tenderness, passion, and a full-bodied love that Lucy couldn’t measure. Dan held her tightly after pulling away, rubbing her back in small, comforting circles as she cried out all of her pain and sadness.
“I’m here for you, now, Lucy,” he murmured quietly as she wept. “The Mountain Haven pack is your home now, and you’ll never feel that pain again.”
“I know,” she gasped softly, laying her head on his shoulder. “And this time I’ll never question it.” She held him closely, mentally chastising herself for ever doubting this wonderful, amazing man. “I love you, Dan.”
He chuckled softly, but she could hear the complete and unbridled adoration he felt for her in his voice. “I love you, too, Lucy. And for what it’s worth, my bear feels the same way.”
She smiled, truly smiled for the first time in what felt like a millennium. “My bear feels the same.” She gazed lovingly at him as she pulled back from their hug, taking in the sight of him like she’d never seen him again. “I guess this is what having a mate feels like, isn’t it?”
Dan smiled, his eyes twinkling. “I guess so. You had me worried for a while there, but I never denied that we had something more.” His smile grew to a goofy grin. “I’m happy to know that you’re stuck with me forever.”
Lucy stood, stretching high and long, the russet rays of the setting sun seeming to fill her entire body with a renewed vigor for life and all the possibilities it held. This was a good thing, coming to the hill to finally still all her secrets and worries to Dan, her mate. Not that she had no doubts, no woes, no uncertainties that her life was the best it would ever be right here in Woodhaven with the love of her life. Without holding back, she turned down to Dan to break the vow she’d cemented in tears on her heart so long ago.
He was still sitting, gazing up at her with a slightly confused expression, and it made her smile. “I think my bear is itching for a good run,” she announced, grinning as Dan jumped excitedly to his feet. “What did you say?”
“Are you…” His voice trailed off to silence as she nodded animatedly, answering his question before he could finish. The grin that blossomed across his face was like the first rays of sunrise, and coupled with the warmth of the sunset that smiled down at them both on the hill, Lucy had never felt more loved than she did in that moment. Her life was finally all she’d wished it to be since it fell to ruin so long ago.
Dan caught her up in his arms, pressing another kiss onto her lips. “Then I say yes,” he answered. “The yes-est yes that I’ve ever yes-ed in my entire life.” He beamed down at her. “There’s so much for us to explore together.”
Gazing into his eyes, there and then, Lucy realized there was nothing more in this world that she wanted more. “I look forward to it, sailor.”
The sun sank below the horizon, washing the world in twilit darkness. Within its dusky embrace, two bears crashed happily through the forest, finally free.
Epilogue
Dan’s eyes glimmered with delight as Lucy bit her lip, one hand placed lightly over her mouth while the other clenched tightly to their fitted bed sheet.
“If you don’t keep quiet, Nick and the others are going to hear you,” he whispered with a wicked g
rin before trailing a cluster of kisses and nibbles up her inner thigh. Nick had called a meeting to discuss an update in their battle strategy the day before, and it started in less than ten minutes. Everyone had already arrived at the shop to prepare; if he listened hard enough, he could hear Jo and Savannah conversing in the distance over their morning coffees.
He knew it probably wasn’t the best idea to stir up anything so soon before the meeting, but seeing Lucy lying naked before him with a hunger in her eyes that only he could satisfy, his body had seemed to move on its own.
Her legs parted easily with the slightest beckon of his hands, his lips and tongue dancing playfully along her leg as she stifled another breathy moan. He took that first, almost tentative taste of her, her body shuddering animatedly in reaction as a small squeak of pleasure slipped past her lips.
They were going to be so late.
He dove between her legs with renewed fervor, sliding his tongue up and over her clit as she quaked against him. Dan could tell she was trying to stay quiet, but each gasp and moan came quicker and a little louder than the last as he teased her closer to the edge with his mouth.
Every sensation that he pulled from her sent shivers down his spine; his bear rose up in anticipation as he coaxed small noises from her throat, and he could feel himself hardening eagerly as she begged him for more with her eyes.
When Dan was sure that she couldn’t take much more, he nearly leapt on top of her. He’d worked both Lucy and his bear into a fit of want and need; the heat in her eyes matched perfectly with the fire he felt from his bear within. Both turned that lust directly on him, and he felt like he’d been set ablaze.
Still, he couldn’t help but grin. “You know, if we take too much longer, they’ll start to get suspicious,” he teased softly. Despite his words, he’d already begun lightly pressing his erection between her legs.
“I don’t care,” she gasped, curling her hands around his biceps as he gripped her hips. “I need you, Dan. Please.” It wasn’t often that Lucy begged, and it sent a thrill through him.
The Bear's Home Page 85
