She clutched at the sofa cushions, her hands fisting helplessly in the fabric. Her head tipped back; her mouth opened on a quiet moan as her body shook with the force of renewed delight.
“Brian…” she half cried out as she began her fall into oblivion.
“I’m right here, baby,” he said, and pushed himself home, into her warmth, her welcome. And in a few, hard, quick strokes he reached the heights with her in time to float back to earth secure in the circle of her arms.
What could have been hours, but in reality was just a few minutes passed in stunned silence. Kathy loved the solid, warm feel of his body atop hers. She gloried in the heavy weight of him and enjoyed the press of his flesh against hers.
And she was darned impressed with her first taste of sexual intimacy.
Before she could stop herself, she murmured, “I never thought it would be like that.”
“Hmm?”
“I mean,” she continued, really talking more to herself than him, “I’ve read all the books, seen movies, listened to my friends talk, so I knew the basics going in…” She paused and chuckled weakly. “But the reality was so much more than anything I ever expected.”
Brian levered himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. Why didn’t he look as pleasantly relaxed as she felt?
“What do you mean, you’ve read all the books?”
She grinned and rubbed his shoulder. Amazing. So much muscle in one body. “You know,” she said. “Books. Everything from self-help sexual manuals to romance novels. And,” she pointed out, “I must say, romance novels are much closer to the truth about these things than anything else I’ve ever read.”
Brian cleared his throat, shifted slightly and disengaged their bodies. Kathy groaned at his absence.
“Are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?” he asked incredulously.
“You mean you couldn’t tell?” She stared up at him and smiled even wider. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“You are,” he said in disbelief. “You are a virgin.”
“Not anymore, thanks very much.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“It didn’t seem relevant.”
“Didn’t seem—” He shook his head and scooted back from her to sit at the opposite end of the couch. Staring at her, he asked, “How could it not be relevant?”
Suddenly sensing that their closeness was at an end, Kathy scooted back into her corner of the couch and reached to the floor for the discarded afghan. Covering herself with it, she said, “I didn’t ask you how many women you’ve slept with, did I?”
“No, but that’s different.”
“How?”
“It just is,” he said tightly, and leaned over to grab up his clothes.
“So, if you’d known I was a virgin, this wouldn’t have happened?”
He shot her a sardonic glance. “Oh, baby, it would have happened. But it would have happened differently.”
“Then I’m glad you didn’t know,” she said shortly. “Because I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, and tugged on his shorts, then his uniform pants. “Your first time, you get tumbled on a too-short couch, and you think it’s great.”
“Would you rather I got tumbled on a couch and think it stunk?” she asked and really resented how he was robbing her of that pleasant glow she’d had only a moment ago.
“I’d rather have known so I could have been—”
“Better?” she finished for him.
Brian shot her another look, and this one seared her flesh right through the afghan like a laser beam. “Baby, it doesn’t come much better than that.”
A ripple of pleasure washed over her. “Then what’s the problem?”
He stood up, and she watched the play of muscles on his bare back as he walked to the front window. Outside, dawn was beginning to streak the sky with soft shades of pink and lavender.
“I would have taken more care,” he said softly, his back to her. “Been more gentle. Been more…I don’t know. More something.”
Her heart swelled. It was the only explanation she could think of to describe what she was feeling at the moment. He cared. Cared that she be happy and taken care of. And in a blinding flash Kathy realized just how much she cared for him. When had it happened? she wondered. When had she begun fostering all of these soft, fuzzy feelings for Sergeant Smile? She hadn’t wanted to care about him. She’d wanted to keep him at arm’s length. At a safe distance from her heart.
But somehow he’d sneaked past her defenses and now, she didn’t even want to acknowledge how important he’d become to her. To her life.
She pushed off the couch, keeping the afghan securely wrapped around her. Walking across the room, she stopped beside him and laid one hand on his arm.
He turned and looked down at her.
“I’m a big girl, Brian,” she said quietly.
One corner of his mouth lifted. “Believe me, I noticed.”
Her lips twitched and she let herself enjoy the compliment hidden in those simple words. “I knew what I was doing and who I was doing it with.”
“Yeah, but,” he started to say.
“No buts,” she interrupted. Soon she’d have to start figuring out what to do about the fact that she—good heavens—loved Brian Haley. But right now it was enough to stand here with him in the early-morning light and feel his arms come around her when she stepped up close.
“Kathy…” He planted a kiss on the top of her head, then rested his chin there. She tried to brace herself for whatever he was about to say even while wishing he wouldn’t talk at all.
Fate took a hand then, in the form of Maegan’s brief, disgruntled cry that clearly said, “I’m awake and hungry. Why is no one paying attention?”
Kathy smiled at the interruption and took the opportunity to turn and reach for the robe that had been tossed to the floor only a few, glorious minutes ago. As she dropped the afghan and slipped into the robe, tying the silk belt around her waist, she walked toward her bedroom. Brian was just a step or two behind her.
She opened the door and was met by Maegan’s teary-eyed, but smiling face. The little girl was standing up in the portable-crib, her tiny fists clutching at the railing. Her soft brown hair stood up in tangled tufts, and her one-piece sleeper was unzipped down to her round belly.
“Hi!” the baby said proudly. She did enjoy using her extremely limited vocabulary.
“Hi, yourself,” Kathy said as she walked toward the baby who was already reaching both arms up in a silent demand to be lifted out of bed.
Holding the tiny girl close, Kathy breathed in the milky, powdery scent that she would always associate with Maegan. Her heart turned over as the baby grinned up at her.
Brian stepped up behind her, and Maegan gave her daddy a toothsome smile, as well, clearly enjoying their undivided attention.
With the baby’s warm, snuggly weight pressed against her heart and Brian’s strong, stalwart presence right behind her, Kathy felt utterly and completely happy. And she realized that, despite all of her plans, she was in love with both the man and his daughter.
Brian reached past her to stroke his index finger down Maegan’s cheek, and as he did he whispered, “We have to talk, Kathy.”
“We will,” she said, tightening her grip on the baby. They would have to talk. About a lot of things. But, she decided, their talk wouldn’t come until she’d found time to do some serious thinking.
Nine
“I may be in big trouble,” Kathy confessed, reaching for her margarita glass.
“Now there’s a nice start to the evening’s conversation,” Tina said, and crossed her arms on the table. Leaning forward, she demanded, “Explain.”
Explain? Kathy thought. How in the heck could she explain something she had only just figured out herself? She took a long, deep gulp of the slushy drink and felt the icy coldness sweep through her. And still it did little to quench the
warmth that had been with her all day.
Warmth? Nope, wrong word. Unbelievably hot, blazing flames would be a better description. All she’d had to do all day was remember how she’d started out her morning, and an explosion of heat that made Mount Saint Helens look like a peashooter completely swamped her.
She felt the flush rising in her cheeks and deliberately turned away from Tina’s too-knowing gaze. Taking a moment to get her hormones back under control, Kathy slowly looked around Tio Taco, her favorite Mexican restaurant. Brilliant splashes of yellow, orange and green decorated the large room. Bouquets of fresh flowers adorned every table, and overhead, piñatas and decorative gourds hung from rough-hewn beams. In the far corner a lone guitarist provided lovely melodies that floated over the crowd, urging quiet conversation and relaxation.
Relaxation. She almost laughed out loud. Heck, she hadn’t been relaxed since Brian Haley had moved in across the hall.
“You’re stalling,” Tina said.
Caught, Kathy thought, and turned her head to look at her friend. “I know.”
“So, spill.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
Tina picked up her own drink and sat back. Waving her margarita glass in a toast salute, she said before taking a long drink, “Start smack in the middle of the most interesting part.”
“We made love on my couch this morning.”
Tina choked and covered her mouth with one hand to keep from spitting margarita across the table. Coughing and gagging, she fought for breath.
Kathy half stood up, moving to slap her friend on the back, when Tina waved her into her seat and shook her head.
“I’m…okay…” she said between quick gasps of air. “But geez, you should warn a person before throwing these things out there.”
“Sorry.” Embarrassed beyond belief, Kathy took another gulp of her drink and muttered, “I can’t imagine why I even told you that.”
“I’d be offended if you hadn’t,” Tina quipped, and leaned forward again eagerly. “This is big news and I want to hear everything about it. But first things first,” she said. “Who was the lucky man? The marine?”
“Nobody but.”
Tina smiled and practically purred. “Details, Kath, details.”
“It was…” She paused, searching for the right word.
“Great? Magnificent?” Tina tried to help. “Earth shaking?”
About a dozen more adjectives, each more glowing than the other ought to about cover it. Heck, just talking about the experience had her insides in a twist and her mouth going dry. “All of the above.”
“Wow.” Tina propped her chin in her hand and sighed.
“Why are you acting as if you’ve never done it?” Kathy asked, a bit uncomfortable with Tina’s obvious enthusiasm for her sex life. “I’ve seen your children. I know you have.”
Tina waved her hand again and grinned. “I love Ted, but that’s married sex. This is interesting sex.”
Oh, for heaven’s sake.
Kathy dismissed Tina’s unexpected bawdy streak for the moment; the woman was missing the real point here.
“This isn’t about the sex,” Kathy said quietly.
If anything, Tina looked more interested than ever, her twin blond eyebrows forming high arches. “There’s more?”
“I think I’m—” She stopped, shook her head and started again. No point in saying this at all if she wasn’t going to be honest. No matter how terrifying the reality of the situation was. “Nope, I lied. I know I’m falling in love with him.”
“All right!” Tina crowed and pumped one fist in the air as if she was at a high school football game cheering for a touchdown.
A few people glanced their way and Kathy gave them all a tight smile before glaring at her best friend. “I appreciate the enthusiasm,” she said, “but put the pom-poms away, okay?”
“Oops, sorry,” the other woman said, but she didn’t look sorry. “But this really is a red-letter day. You’re finally in love! When do Ted and I get to meet him?”
Another problem. Did she really want to start inviting Brian into the rest of her life? Was she ready for her friends to meet him? For people to see them as a couple? Why would she do that, when she wasn’t even sure yet what lay between them? No, it was better to keep this thing, whatever it was, as quiet as possible, until she knew one way or the other what was going to happen.
Besides, she wasn’t about to admit to Brian that she loved him. That would open up a can of worms that Kathy simply wasn’t ready to face yet. And with her best friend’s capacity for “loose lips,” getting her and Brian together sounded like a bad idea all the way around.
“I know that look,” Tina said, frowning. “You’re going to keep him all to yourself, aren’t you?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. Either you love him, or you’re just using him for sex.”
The truth was it was both of those things.
“This is serious, Tina.”
“You bet it is and it’s high time, if you ask me.”
“I knew you’d say that.”
“Well, think about it, Kath.” Tina picked up her drink, took a swallow and reached for the bowl of tortilla chips in the middle of the table. Stabbing the air with one of the chips, she said, “Not only have you left the ranks of the vestal virgins, but you’ve done it with the man you love. What could be better?”
Just about anything, she thought but didn’t say. Sex was one thing. Love, for pity’s sake, was quite another. Good heavens, you’d think Tina would understand what she was going through better than anyone.
“You know how I feel about this,” she said. “I didn’t want to love anyone.”
“Because of your mom.”
She said it as though it meant nothing.
“Are you going to sit there and try to tell me that’s not reason enough to steer clear of any entanglements?”
“Yes.”
Kathy set her drink down, leaned back against the butter-yellow leather booth seat and folded her arms across her chest. “How can you say that? My mother is a serial bride.”
Tina actually chuckled at that. “That doesn’t mean you will be, too.”
“Darn right,” she snapped. “I’m not going to get married just so I can get divorced and screw up my kids’ lives.”
Tina eyed her sternly. “So you think I will? Not all marriages end in divorce, y’know.”
“No, only half.”
“So, be in the ‘till death do us part’ half.”
“What a keen idea,” Kathy quipped. “But don’t you think everyone who gets married figures themselves to be in that half?”
“Sure, but it isn’t the luck of the draw that lands you in the ‘keeper’ half, you know.”
“I know,” she said.
“I don’t think you do,” Tina said and leaned forward again, staring Kathy in the eyes and silently daring her to look away. “Marriage isn’t easy. Nothing worthwhile is. You have to work at it. You have to want to make it last. You have to give it everything you’ve got. A lot of divorces happen because two people got tired of trying.”
Visions of her mother, Spring, rose up in Kathy’s mind. True, Spring didn’t usually stick around once the bloom was off the rose, so to speak.
“I realize that, but there are others. You and Ted, for example. You guys don’t have to work at it.”
“Ha!” Tina smiled broadly and shook her head. “You think Ted came to me the way he is now? Hardly. I trained him. Just like he trained me. Most of the rough spots are gone now, but they still crop up from time to time.”
Kathy couldn’t even imagine Ted and Tina having rough spots. Their marriage was based on friendship. They actually liked each other as much as they loved. “Another bubble burst,” she murmured.
“You want life in a bubble or reality?”
“The bubble,” Kathy muttered.
“You think too much,” Tina said with a soft smile. “What y
ou should be doing is feeling. If you love him, don’t run away.”
Her fingers swirled through the water ring on the heavily varnished tabletop. “But there’s no guarantee it would work.”
Tina munched her chip and grabbed another. “Honey, there’s no guarantees about anything. Heck, a meteor could crash through the roof of this restaurant in five minutes and take out all of us.”
Kathy smiled reluctantly. “And the chances of that are…?”
Her friend shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?” Tina asked. “It could happen.”
Possible, but not probable. While marriage, on the other hand, was a real risk no matter how you looked at it.
“You’re missing another point in this,” she said.
“Which is?”
“Our whole relationship is based on his need for help with Maegan.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
“Oh, yeah.” Being with Maegan satisfied every maternal urge she’d ever had. The baby had become a huge part of her life. And the thought of not seeing her grow up…not being around to see her first day of school, her first date, her first dance, broke her heart. If she walked away from Brian, she’d be walking away from that baby, too. Still… “But that’s no basis for a relationship.”
“There have been worse ones. Besides, maybe it started out that way, but—”
“But what?” Kathy asked, shaking her head again for emphasis. “Nothing’s really changed. I still watch Maegan. He goes to work, comes home, picks up the baby…”
“Makes love with you on the couch…” Tina added.
“Once,” Kathy said, then corrected, “okay, twice.”
“Twice?” Tina sighed again. “Oh, you gotta love this guy.”
“That’s the problem, though, isn’t it?”
“Not really. Your choices are ridiculously easy.” Tina held up two fingers and ticked them off as she went on. “One, you snatch up the marine and enjoy what you’ve found.”
“Or…?”
“Or you turn your back on love and any chance at happily ever after because of what might happen.”
“I’d like to remind you at this point that I’ll be going to Vegas in little more than a week to witness my mother’s sixth wedding.”
The Daddy Salute Page 9
