“A soul bond?”
He looks surprised. “You know about those?”
I have to tread carefully here. “I saw several of them...performed in Tartarus.”
He nods slowly. “Yes, it’s a soul bond. But not exactly in the same way.”
“I have time,” I say quietly. I was never told anything about this. I doubt that the angels are loose with the details. I don’t know if Atlas might be willing to tell me because he thinks I am trustworthy, or because he doesn’t think I’ll ever leave here to be able to tell anyone. Either way, I want to know.
“What do you know about Asterium?”
I shake my head. “Almost nothing. Just that it’s the heavenly plane above ours, where all the angels are born.”
“Made might be a better term for it, but yes,” he says. “The war between Asterium and Tartarus started millennia ago. When the first God and the infernal darkness destroyed each other. All that was left of them were the flames.”
“That part I knew,” I say. There’s more to the story, how other gods took sides and saved the traces of the flames which are guarded in the realms.
“Asterium has three gates,” he continues. “And in the second wave of the war, heaven was overwhelmed. Demons poured through the gates and slaughtered everyone that they could reach. The only reason it didn’t end that day were a group of three archangels—the first three archangels. They retreated to the center of heaven and infused themselves with holy fire.”
As he’s speaking he’s watching me carefully to see my reaction. I keep my face curious and open though my soul is drinking in these details. “Even the most powerful angel cannot survive it. But they did it anyway, living long enough to burn the demons out of heaven and seal the gates. They gave their lives to do so.”
“Oh.” I say. “Why don’t more people know about them? I’ve heard of archangels, but I’ve never heard that story.” There’s a reason that that wouldn’t be taught in the Underworld. Tartarus does not admit defeat. Ever.
“It was a very long time ago,” he says quietly. Even angels sometimes forget. There are few who were alive then who still are now. There’s a sudden change in his expression, like a realization.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just—nothing.”
Okay. Strange. But I already know that I have to be careful pushing for information with them. “Were you alive? When it happened.”
“No.” The grin on his face is genuine. “I’m that old.”
I laugh. “I’m sorry, I would have no way of knowing.”
Atlas’s eyes fall to my wrist on the edge of my chair. “Those are beautiful.”
“As long as they work,” I say, “I don’t care what they look like.”
“True. But a beautiful canvas deserves beautiful decoration.”
Blood rushes to my cheeks and neck. He called me beautiful. I’m not sure why that takes me by surprise, but it does.
“Ever since those first angels sacrificed themselves, there has been a High Trinity. We are bound by holy flame to each other. The energy created in that bond is the only way that we are able to hold a spark of holy fire and live.” He says it quickly, like he’s trying to explain something. But I don’t understand.
“Why?”
“If Asterium is ever overrun again, we will not have to retreat in order to seal heaven’s doors. It lives in the bond between us, if we need it. As an absolute last resort.”
“Could you survive it?”
Atlas holds out his hand, and a spark as bright as the sun flickers. I shield my eyes and look away. “Yes. We can hold it for moments. But the power it would take to seal heaven isn’t given lightly, and in order to fuel enough of the fire to do that...no. We would not survive it.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He smiles softly. “I didn’t tell you that for sympathy. I knew what it would mean. It’s the life of an archangel. Why we are created in the first place. And if the three of us fall—for any reason—more will take our place.”
I look out over the water into the last traces of light fading away. “Why did you tell me then?”
Atlas shifts in his chair. Just a bit closer, but it draws my attention to him differently. To his body. The dark training gear that he’s wearing doesn’t hide it. It emphasizes it. Sculpted muscle and strength that conceal that dangerous spark. Reaching out, he raises an eyebrow in question, and I nod before he takes my hand. More than my hand, he cradles my wrist and the cuff in his fingers, examining it.
“The way we’re bound changes things for us. Harmony and unity are key to it, and we are still learning. We have only been bound this way for five years.”
“That’s a long time.”
He grins. “Not for an angel. Imagine living your entire life as just you, and then suddenly you’re privy to someone else’s thoughts and emotions. Two others.” I can imagine more than he knows, but I just nod. “But more than that, we cannot...” he sighs, then laughs. “I’m surprised at how hard this is to say. I’m not usually the one who does the talking.”
I shift a little closer to him, sliding my arm a little further along his so more of our skin is touching. I’m so aware of it. In the same way I was with Kai. And with Solomon. That connection burns bright, and I can’t explain it. For the moment I’m not going to question, because I want everything that it can give, and also because it brings me closer to my goal. I don’t speak, letting the silence draw the words out of him.
“Because we feel everything, there can’t be any strife or division. And that means that if we’re involved with anyone, it’s all or nothing.”
I feel myself go still. Oh. Oh. It was my plan to have all of them, to pull them in, but I didn’t realize... “Have you ever?”
One half of his mouth tips up. “No. Not even close. Maybe a few encounters like the one you and Kai shared. But it’s another thing that we knew we were giving up. Or so we thought.”
My stomach drops. “What does that mean?”
Atlas doesn’t use words to answer. He pulls me towards him in one motion and covers my lips with his. It’s completely different than Kai’s kiss, and just as entrancing. His lips are firm and determined, coaxing me to relax and lean in. I want more. More. Not letting our lips separate, I move to him, climbing into his lap and straddling his waist. Arms come around me hard, holding us together. I can feel his arousal and desire beneath me, and it turns into my own.
“You’re not the only one that feels it. And it’s...” he blows out a breath. “Petrifying.”
I smile into his mouth. “I’m not that scary.”
“No,” he kisses me again, dragging his fingers down my spine. “But you are an unknown. And human.”
I blush again. It’s real. I’ve never wanted to be human less than in this second. “Is being human so awful.”
Power flares down my spine, flowing into me from his hands. Pure pleasure spins around my torso, like fingers licked with precious flame fanning my arousal into an inferno. So like Kai’s power, and yet so distinct. This flickers like fire and embers, and when he pulls his hands around my ribs I see why through the haze of lust. His hands are wreathed in silver fire. The kind that’s in the lamps.
I’m panting, and I grind myself down into the hardness of him as a slow smile appears. “Kai told me, but I didn’t understand what he meant.” The power extinguishes. “That’s fun.”
“And cruel.”
“Did I harm you?”
“No,” I grumble, my body furious to be denied another perfect orgasm.
Atlas runs his hands up my sides slowly, intentionally. Feeling the way I expand with desperate breath. “And no,” he says quietly. “Being human isn’t a crime. Or a sin. Or forbidden for us. But you are mortal.”
“Nothing I can do about that.”
His eyes flare. “No, I guess not.”
My voice is more even as I recover. “So you’re afraid of me dying?”
“Or being kille
d. If Telem found out that we had taken you, and cared for you, he would kill you without a second thought. And that—” He doesn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t want to admit it, but Solomon is right. You are not safe. From Hell, or for us.”
I dare to look up into his eyes. Hazel and gold and warmth. I let myself touch him. And it’s for me. I’m not trying to seduce him, I just want to feel him. Learn him. I’ve never explored someone just to see what they like or how they feel. Without an agenda. “Is there a but there?”
“But the moment that Malakai walked into that room with you in his arms, I felt it. I can’t explain it.” Silver flames lick the gossamer strand between us. “And I have lived long enough to know that threads like this do not exist without a reason.” He kisses me again, tilting my head to the side so his lips and tongue can drift my neck. Whispers leave goosebumps and sparks in their wake. “I will know who you are to me, Arielle.”
A promise that settles in my heart. It’s a gift of hope and a threat to everything that I am. I tilt my head further, giving him more room to taste my pulse. He pulls the strap of my dress off my shoulder and follows the line of my collarbone. All the way to my shoulder. “I should let you go,” he says.
“Don’t,” I beg. “Please.”
Power flickers from his mouth, lighting me up with silver sparkles of pleasure. “Temptation and angels do not mix well.”
I hold on to him, not wanting to stop. I want more of this easy, breathless feeling between us and the taste of the forbidden. His mouth drifts across my chest and lower. Between my breasts where he tastes my skin. All the words I was going to say to convince him fly out of my head. “But now I’m hungry,” he says casually. “I think it would be rude to send you away just for me to eat alone, don’t you?”
I nod, eyes closed and lips parted. I don’t ask what he’s hungry for. Because his mouth falls on my skin again, low laugh teasing me. And I let myself simply be.
CHAPTER TEN
_______
When I went to sleep I was drowning in silver fire and toe-curling sensation, and when I wake it was there hovering at the edges. Like I’m viewing the world through a lens that’s only pleasure. Atlas teased me with his mouth and lips and power, going no further than that. He drove me crazy, knowing what it would do to me, and when he pressed me against the door of this apartment and kissed me senseless, he was smiling. Enjoying the playful game. It’s been two days since I’ve seen them. They disappeared yesterday. I was told that they were called away to a front, and nothing more. I’ve been spinning in my own head ever since.
By this time in an assignment, I usually have a plan of attack. I know exactly how long it will take me to work my way into their bed and the way I’ll kill them. Poison works well for some, over a romantic dinner before retiring. Some the only way is to slit their throat, like the murder of Ellismer’s king that my father insisted on displaying.
But with the angels...I have no idea. Will I even be able to kill them, now knowing what they contain? Arad has to know. And the longer I think about it, the more I think he doesn’t expect me to come back. Either that, or he’s convinced himself so wholly of my ability and in the prophecy of the vessels that he believes that it’s possible. I don’t know.
But I don’t know how I will kill them. If I’m alone with one of them, and one of them dies, I will be the first and only suspect. I can’t overpower all three of them together. They have enough power to burn this world into dust if they chose, and I have nothing, even if I could use it. It might have to be poison then, but I don’t know where I would get poison here. I haven’t asked, but I don’t think they’ll just let me leave the island to wander Venice seeking an infernal tradesman.
If I were to escape, even with the cuffs, Telem’s demons will be watching. I cover my face with my hands. This is a mess. No matter the training that I’ve received, this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever been asked to do, and I’m not sure that I want to do it.
My own thoughts stumble to a halt.
I’ve been avoiding putting words to the thought that’s been lurking since Malakai found me in that alley. And Atlas’s words last night have fizzled in my brain ever since. Threads like this do not exist without a reason.
I never asked for this. Any of it. I didn’t ask to be a vessel or to be trained. I didn’t ask to be a whore and a killer. I did what I had to so I could survive.
But what if I don’t have to?
Everything in me rebels. Rage and pain from inside, and I can’t believe that I would give up everything I’ve built so easily. How can I turn my back on that? On Cassian? I can’t waste years of work for sex. And that’s all it would be. Sex. Nothing more. I’m a human who can be used against them. These threads between us are nothing but the prophecy that was laid out. I was meant to kill them, and because of their power, they can feel the ghost of that path coming to fruition.
I pull the blankets up over my head. There’s doubt whispering in my mind on both sides. Bouncing back and forth and giving me reasons to consider both paths. I’ve never felt anything like what’s forming between me and the trinity. Or at least two of the trinity. But am I so desperate for gentleness and pleasure that I would abandon everything? Is that what I would be doing? is the power I would gain in the Underworld worth risking this path?
Shoving my head further under the pillows and blankets, I let out a scream. Panic is choking me, and I hate that I have doubt at all. If there’s one thing that I can say is that Tartarus is black and white. You know where you stand. Know your place. If you fuck up, you’re punished. This isn’t clear cut, and I hate it. If I could make it easier for myself and sever these connections to the Trinity, I would do it. I could turn back into the girl I know. The person I was formed to be. The one who can throw a knife with such precision that it will split a hair down the center. The woman who’s bound to Cassian and wants him just as much as I want these new angels. The woman who knows who she is.
Who am I right now?
There’s a soft knock at the door, and it opens before I can say anything. “Arielle?” I don’t move. It’s Kai’s voice. They’re back, and my whole body wakes up. My mind and my heart sensing that brightness and yearning for it. The bed shifts as he sits on it. “Are you all right?”
“I don’t know.”
My voice is muffled comically enough by the sheets and blankets that he chuckles. His hand rests on my back over the blankets. “Anything I can do?”
“Besides sort my life out for me?” I pull my head out from beneath the pillows, trying and failing for dignity when my hair flies everywhere. “No.”
Kai is sitting there casually, grinning. Dead sexy in jeans and a worn leather jacket like he’s just someone coming in from a ride and not one of the most powerful beings in this world. “How about getting off the island for a little while?”
“Where are we going?”
He smiles. “Just to Venice.”
I narrow my eyes. “You want to test how the cuffs are working.”
“Maybe. And maybe I thought it might be good to just...be together for a bit.”
There’s something that he’s not saying, but I don’t know what it is. “Okay.”
I grab clothes from the wardrobe, this time choosing something less formal and more warm. It’s still February. Kai turns his back when I change, but I’m aware of the fact that he’s right there. And so is the table that he pleasured me on.
When I’m ready he steps to me, and just like that first night, he lifts me into his arms with ease. One powerful beat of his wings and we’re flying into the air off the balcony. The sky is overcast today, cool gray and flat. “Where did you all go?” I ask, words nearly lost to the wind.
“Battle,” he says. No more details.
“Are you all right?”
Kai’s lips are a thin line. “I’m fine. Just skirmishes. Like they’re toying with us and nibbling at the edges.”
“Doesn’t seem like you’re fine.”
&
nbsp; We set down on a bridge on the very edge of the city, no people in sight. Wings vanish into nothing, and we’re just two more tourists. He takes my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world to do it, and my heart flips. “I’m tired of war,” he says. For the first time I can hear that ancient age. I don’t know how long he’s been alive, but the amount of death he’s seen I’m sure is above and beyond what I’ve ever witnessed.
“This is nice of you,” I say, “but you don’t have to do this.”
The weariness disappears with a smile. “Don’t be silly. This is exactly what I need.”
He leads me through the complicated maze of Venetian streets. Sometimes they’re so narrow that his shoulders brush the walls, and sometimes they’re wide enough that a marching band could pass through. There are plenty of tourists in the city even though this isn’t the most popular time of year. And I’m about to ask where he’s taking me when we cross a wide, low bridge and stop in front of a gelato shop.
“Feel like some?”
I grin. “You brought me all the way here for gelato, didn’t you.”
“Guilty as charged. This is the best gelato in the city, and I thought we both could use some. If we’re feeling nice later we can even bring some back for Atlas and Sol.”
I shake my head. “You realize it’s cold out, right?”
“Not on the island.”
I crush my lips together, trying not to smile as brightly as I feel. “So what’s your plan?”
“An obscene amount of gelato, and some time spent on the island’s beach where it feels like July.”
“And here I thought you were going to take me on a romantic tour of Venice.” Kai pauses, and I laugh. “I’m teasing you. That sounds lovely.”
The amount of flavors of gelato that are behind that counter may as well be a million. It’s so many. A full rainbow of color and flavor. I want to try them all, but even in winter there’s a line. I end up tasting the almond, cookies and cream, and peppermint before settling on stracciatella. A kind of vanilla with chocolate shavings mixed in, and wholly delicious.
Queen of Darkness (War of Heavenly Fire Book 1) Page 8
