by JA Huss
"Just skip to the romance, Ford. Why torture yourself?"
"Billionaires?"
I laugh at that, along with Spencer's new fascination with my armpits. He's painting bathing suit strings in very interesting places. "No, I'm not into fantasy billionaires. I've got Ronin, remember?"
My team chuckles at this dig. I think I like my team, they seem to be on my side.
"Right, yes, I do recall that."
"Just try the regular romances, or the ones they write for kids my age."
He cringes at the word kid, but fuck it. Why pretend? I'm still a kid. I like being a kid, I missed a lot of kid time in my earlier life, and I'm in no hurry to grow up now, even if I am standing here naked in front of a whole room full of men.
Ford's brow twists a little as he searches. "Coming-of-age or college life?"
"Um, the last one I guess. Just read the description for the number one book, let's start there."
"Ashley, the only virgin in her freshman dorm…" He stops and looks up at me. "Seriously?"
"Keep going, it sounds good." My team is having a hard time hiding their amusement now.
"… is desperate to be deflowered by long-time crush, Eaton Fuller. Eaton? What kind of name is that?"
"Says the guy named Ford."
"But that's before hot and dangerous Rowdy Breaker saves her from a spelunking adventure gone wrong. This is stupid. Spelunking gone wrong? It's so cliché."
"One-click that sucker, Ford. Any guy called Rowdy has gotta be hot. You don't get to be number one for no reason. I'll read about Rowdy and his cave-dwelling tendencies. Hand it over."
"We're done here, no time for books, Rook."
"Done? You just started!"
Ford laughs.
I look down and if this suit was real, it'd be nothing but a bunch of rope winding around my body in strategic places. None of which happens to cross my private parts. "This isn't a bathing suit, it's rope. I look like I'm being tied up for… Oh."
They are all laughing at me now.
"Come on," Spencer says. "I'll walk you up."
"Are you modeling with me this time, too?"
Snickers from Team Everybody.
"What?"
"Nope, not me this time, Rook. Billy's got this privilege."
Billy is the sexiest cowboy I've ever seen. I've never pretended the guy wasn't gorgeous to look at, because he is very easy on the eyes. But sporting all that western gear, the tight jeans, the hat, the chaps, and the boots, in combination with a new rough expression I've never seen him wear before, plus his bare chest, makes him look like he's about to bind my wrists and take me from behind.
Whew. I have to stop and take a breath after that thought.
This bike is a work of art. It's got a custom seat shaped like a western saddle and an entire scene depicting a bad-boy cowboy meets helpless half-naked female airbrushed on the top of the fat tank. The whole frame is a smoky black with barbed-wire running down the fenders like racing stripes.
"Wow."
"I love this bike, Rook," Spencer says as he stands next to me. "I've been waiting to get decent images of this one and put it online. It's not a showroom model, but a one-of-a-kind custom. I'll be sorry to sell it actually." He laughs a little under his breath. "Until I get the check, that is. Because this one's a sweet ninety-five grand."
Holy shit.
"Over here, Rook," Josie calls.
I walk over to the salon and she removes the makeup from the last shoot and reapplies. I get another wig, only this time it's Farrah Fawcett à la Charlie's Angels hair, all frosted blonde highlights in big bouncy curls that fall halfway down my back. I get the natural look as far as makeup goes, and then I slip my feet into the cowgirl boots and plop the hat on my head.
When I walk back over to the guys Spencer buckles a gun holster around my waist and then slides two revolvers inside.
So I'm wearing boots, guns, and a hat. And my body has been painted to look like I've been tied up.
When I look up to see what's next, every mouth is hanging open.
Except Antoine's, because he's just coming out of his office, trying to pretend I'm fully clothed.
"What're you assholes looking at? I've been walking around here naked all day, quit it!"
They mumble out some incomprehensible words as I walk over to Billy.
He's smiling. "That is fucking hot for some reason. I'm not sure why, it just is, Rook."
I shrug. "You're pretty hot too, Billy. Maybe it's the hats?"
He chuckles. "Yeah, the hats. OK, for this one you're my bitch. So bend the fuck over the seat, ass to the camera, and let me whack you a few good ones so your cheeks turn pink."
"What?"
"I'm kidding, Rook." He sits down on the western saddle seat and pulls me toward him. "Just sit in my lap to start, wrists together, because if you do that, you'll see it looks like I've bound you up."
I put my wrists together, then Billy reaches down and adjusts them. He puts his arm around me as Antoine starts the shoot. Billy is not Spencer, he knows exactly what to do and when to do it, so I relax and just do as I'm told. I lean against him as his hands rub the side of my body in long strokes. He leans down and begins nibbling on my neck and then whispers in my ear. "Antoine liked that moaning you did last time, but he's not gonna ask for it, Rook. So give the man his photos and you'll be done sooner. That's the secret to this job. Give him what he wants and right now he wants you to look the same way with me as you do with Ronin."
"Can I move my hands? Or do I have to pretend to be tied up?"
"Do you want to move them?"
"Yes."
He repositions my body so I'm straddling the tank, leaning back on his chest like I was with Spencer. Billy has either had a lot of bike sex before, or he's got a very creative on-the-fly imagination because I'm pretty hot and bothered in a matter of seconds. He opens my legs right up, places one on the handlebars, and then reaches around to cup my breast. "Touch me, Rook."
I reach back and grab his head, thrusting my upper body up and out. Billy's right hand caresses the leg propped up on the handlebar, then slides down and slips right up under my ass. His other hand is squeezing my breast until I squirm from the pressure. "Turn towards me, Rook." His voice is a low rumble.
I turn and his mouth is right there, his kisses just as passionate as any Ronin gave me, and his hands just as daring. His fingers are between my legs, not past any point of no return, but hovering right there, right on the edge. He rubs my lower abdomen a little, slips down, then brings his fingertips back up just when I think he's gonna slip them in farther.
It's driving me fucking crazy. I am so horny right now it's not even funny.
I lose track of time, of the camera, of everyone in the room. I feel his kisses, I kiss him back, but I'm not even inside my body right now, that's how worked up he has me. I'm not sure what it means, but none of this can be good for a brand-new relationship with a man who is not the one fondling me.
"OK, great shots, Billy and Rook. We're done for today."
And that's it. Antoine takes his camera and walks away.
"You OK, Rook?" Billy asks, his voice totally normal, like he always is after a shoot.
"Um…" Wow.
He lifts me up off him and sets me on the ground and then removes his cowboy chaps and sets them on the bike. "Come on," he says, taking my hand. "I'll walk you to the showers."
I have no words as we go back downstairs. Like none.
We go in and he starts the shower for me. "You wanna talk about it?"
I blow some air out of my cheeks. "I don't think I can do this, Billy."
"What are you talking about? You did great."
"I mean, I don't think I can keep all these feelings separate."
He laughs. "Oh, you're hot for me now?"
"No, it's just, that felt so…"
He grins as my words trail off. "It's OK to admit it, Rook."
"Good, it felt good."
"It's
supposed to feel good. That's what people want to see in the pictures."
"So you don't want to really jump my bones?"
"Well, fuck yeah I do, but you're seeing Ronin, right? So you're off limits. I'm not an asshole, I'd never do that."
I've got nothing for that response. I'm not sure if it helps or makes things worse.
"Rook, when I'm working, you're just a naked body, OK? And I guarantee you, Spencer is the same way. He's got a naked girl in his lap and he'd like to finish her off and get himself some too. That's just how it is. But when the shoot stops, you're Rook again. And that's not the same thing as a naked body in our laps. It's work, Rook. Not love."
He takes the sponge from me and starts washing my back and I just stand there and let him. When he's done he thrusts it at me until I take it from him. "You can finish now, right? I'll be in the hallway."
He walks out and leaves me standing there. I snap back to my senses and wash the rest of the paint off, then wrap myself up in a towel and go out to meet him. We walk upstairs together and then he drops me off in front of Ronin's door.
"Be ready in an hour, we're having dinner, remember?"
Right, dinner. I nod and go inside, ready to be alone so I can begin to process this day.
Chapter Fifteen - ROOK
Dinner with Billy and Antoine wasn't terrible, but I spent most of the time just listening to them talk about sports. It was pretty boring. And now that I'm back home in my apartment, I'm simply exhausted. I can't imagine working like this every day. My phone buzzes and I smile at Ronin's face on my screen.
"Geez," I say after answering, "I figured you forgot about me."
"Nah, I knew you were eating with Antoine, remember? How'd it go today?"
I hesitate. "Well, it was… weird, confusing, exciting, long, demanding, and… weird."
"Why weird twice?"
I thought about this conversation all through dinner. I need to get this out in the open, because if Ronin is gonna break it off with me over this contract, I might as well understand that now. "When you model with other girls, does it…"
"Does it what?"
"Feel good?"
He lets out a small laugh but I'm not convinced that it's a happy one. "Did it feel good today with Billy and Spencer?"
"You knew I was modeling with them?"
"Rook, I'm your manager. I know what every painting looks like, we're not making this shit up as we go. This has all been planned. So yes, I know what you did today. And my question is, did it feel good?"
I swallow. "It did. I can't help it, when they're asking me to kiss them for the photo shoot it got personal. I felt turned on."
He says nothing for several long seconds.
"Do you get turned on when you're with other girls?"
"Yeah, I do."
"So, what I'm feeling is… normal?"
"It is."
"So you're OK with it?"
"Would you be OK with it? If it was me doing a contract like this?"
Oh God. He's totally breaking up with me.
"Rook? Would you?"
What do I say? No, I'd break up with you. Or, Yes, I would, so you should be OK with this too.
"Rook, it's not a hard question."
I take a deep breath and then let it out. "No, I wouldn't be OK with it."
"I'm not either, but it's too late for that. You signed, I decided to stand by you and wait it out, and this is what that looks like."
"Are you mad at me?"
"Yeah. I am, I'm not gonna lie, Rook. It pisses me off and it's even worse knowing I'm not there. Antoine isn't paying attention during the artwork, is he?"
"No, he's upstairs the whole time."
"So who's in there? Ford?"
"Yes."
"Spencer, obviously. Camera crews?"
"Yes, and the director people."
"Billy?"
"No, but he walks me to and from the studio and he's in charge of helping me wash the paint off." He grunts at this. "That was Antoine's call, Ronin. Not me. It was him or Spencer, and Antoine said Billy. And if it makes you feel any better, I'd prefer Billy because Billy knows exactly what he's doing and he keeps it professional."
"So Spencer tried something with you?"
"No! That's not what I said. It's just Billy understands this is pretend."
He lets out a long controlled breath but stays silent for a while. I have nothing to add, so I just let him think it through. "Well, I told you, Rook. I warned you and now it's all playing out exactly as I feared."
"What's that mean? I'm not interested in Spencer, Ronin. He's been one hundred percent professional with me during the painting. It's really only the photo shoots that bother me, because he wants me to kiss him and stuff."
Silence.
"Did you hear me?"
More silence.
"So we're fighting? That's what's happening?"
"What do you want me to say, Rook? It bothers me, but I'll get over it? Is that what you want to hear?"
"Well, yeah. That's perfect actually. But I know you're messing with me, so it's also pretty fucked up."
Silence again.
"So I'll see you Sunday, then?"
"Sunday, yeah. We'll be home late afternoon probably."
"I miss you. And you didn't even give me a chance to say anything when you said you loved me earlier."
"It just slipped out. Sorry."
Long, dreadful, agonizing silence.
Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? "I'm tired, exhausted really, and Ford will be here at five to make me run stadiums with him, so I—"
"What?"
"Ford. I made a deal with him so I can use your apartment to shower and get some privacy. I hope that's OK."
"Which part," he growls, "the fact that you're running with Ford in the morning or using my apartment while I'm gone?"
"OK, I'm hanging up now." I press end on my phone and lie back on my bed. He's got every right to be mad but I don't have to listen to that shit.
My phone buzzes.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"Look, Ronin, let's just break up then, OK? Because as you pointed out to me the other night, I'm stuck. This job needs to get done. I'm committed to it, and there's nothing I can do. So let's just call it off and maybe we can try again later or maybe we just say fuck it. You can take care of Clare for the rest of your life and I can move on and go to school."
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes. Because I spent the whole fucking day worried about you, Ronin. I worried about every single thing I did, and even though Spencer told me I was being ridiculous and Billy assured me you would understand, I couldn't stop thinking about how mad you were gonna be. And I can't live like that. So, I won't use your apartment, OK? And you just take your time coming home. Bye."
I end the call and then look up and realize every single bit of this was just caught on camera. I stow my tears away until I make it outside and then I go sit under the cherry trees and cry.
It's one of those poor-me, silent and tearful, pity cries. And it gives me a headache. But this day has been too much for me all of a sudden and I can't hold it in. And the last thing I want is for Director Larry and his people to watch me fall apart after that stupid conversation.
I'm not sure how long I've been lying out here when the studio door opens. I listen to the click of expensive shoes across the concrete. "What now?" I say, annoyed.
Ford stops and looks down on me. "What are you doing?"
"Crying. What does it look like I'm doing? And I'm sure you guys got all that on camera, so don't waste my time with your feigned innocence, Ford. I'm not in the mood."
He smiles and sits down on a nearby picnic table. "See, feigned, that's another one. Most drop-outs don't use feigned, either."
"Go away."
"We were listening to the conversation, Rook."
I turn away from him and close my tired eyes. "Go away."
"Your phone's been buzzi
ng since you hung up on him, so why not just go answer it?"
"I'm not running with you tomorrow, I don't need to take a shower up there anymore."
"You're just being bratty, Rook, he's jealous, that's all. Go inside or I'll have a technician come down and hang a camera." He gets up and walks away. "I'm dead serious about that, you have five minutes."
I wait until he goes back inside, then I count to sixty and get up to go back to my apartment. My phone has seven missed calls and no voicemail messages. I figure that means he's not interested in a call back, so I just turn the ringer off and slip into bed, fully clothed.
Chapter Sixteen - ROOK
Someone is rocking me back and forth. "Whaaaaaat?"
"It's almost five, Rook."
"Grrrr… Ford, I told you I'm not running with you because I'm not going to be using Ronin's shower."
"Right, but I have another offer you might be interested in."
I pull the covers over my head.
"I'll take the camera out of your bedroom."
I slide the covers back down. "Why? Why do you want me to run with you? It's weird. I know this is some sordid plot to make Ronin jealous and hate me even more. Go away."
He laughs. "Sordid, that's three. Where did you get that one?"
I open my eyes and stare up at him. Ford is a strange guy, but I have a good answer for him, so I say it. "Sordid Lives. Ever seen it? That movie is hi-lar-ious. I didn't actually know what sordid meant before that movie, but I looked it up."
"Sordid Lives?" he says with a little question mark at the end. "Unusual choice of movie for a girl your age."
He sits down at the end of my bed and waits to see if I'll tell him anything else. I wasn't planning on it, but then I remember what his job actually is. He's a producer, he's into this stuff, he might, in fact, understand why I'm a movie freak. "I like comedies. They… always made me feel better." And this one is about white trash, and that's me in a nutshell. But I leave that part out.
His mouth makes an O, like that explains everything. "Come running, Rook. It's good for you."
