“No, you wanted to go with the mermaids. I was fantasizing about a king-size bed at the Del with room service—steak, potato, and fresh asparagus, with apple pie for dessert. Probably because I couldn’t keep anything down and I was starved. Fuck! A steak really sounds good right now.” Jack licked his lips. Hunger bit into his “need” scale and it was hitting a ten-plus. The last time he’d eaten was yesterday. “Hey, are there any boats out here that want to give me a ride back?”
“You look like hell, Jack. You need to take better care of yourself.” Don swam closer.
Jack held his spot. “What happened, Don? Did I kill you?”
“No, man. What the hell makes you think that?” The anger on his friend’s face at the comment was real. “You’re my best friend. What the fuck?”
“Knotts said…” Jack began.
“What the blasted hell makes you think Gerry knows anything! Or any of those other guys! Didn’t he say that Seeley and Pickens were unconscious and you loaded them into the chopper?” Don asked. “Look at the facts, Jack. They might be responsible and are using you to cover their asses. I’ve never trusted those East Coast pukes. Or maybe there was another factor at work in there somewhere.”
“Uh, yeah.” Jack agreed somewhat reluctantly. “Being East Coast has nothing to do with it. Don’t start the East Coast versus West Coast rivalry. There’s just something hinky, I can’t put my finger on it.”
“Hinky! Yes! So, then how can they know what really happened? Listen, keep doing what you’re doing—well, not the thinking about dying crap! Only sheep give up. Got it? You’re a fighter—not one of the herd—and you’re going to find the answer.” Don spit out the words and then he pointed his index finger in Jack’s face. “Be strong.”
“Or die living.” Jack chanted their mantra back to him. Then he moved in to hug him, but the illusion disappeared instantly like a puff of smoke.
The image had been enough of a wake-up call. The answer to his mystery was out there, and he would succeed in his quest.
Turning toward shore, he swam for home. A steak wasn’t far from his mind either. When a wave lifted underneath him, he stiffened his body and surfed his way toward the beach.
The dolphins he’d spied from far away joined him. They were riding the waves, too. They chirped at each other as they dove and rode the surf.
He took a mental snapshot. This was nature, how life was meant to be—riding alongside the dolphins. He was in sync with the elements.
It was a rare pleasure. There was something about being in the water with them, the way they played and their sense of happiness at such a simple action, that encouraged him to smile.
Closer and closer the shore sped toward him. As the sand began to slap his toes, he waved at them and they turned back, heading back out to sea, deeper water, and greater waves. If only life were that easy: find a joy, live it, and then go get another one.
Swimming in alone, he knew that whomever he brought into this battle would have to believe in his cause. There was no room in his life for naysayers. Ultimately he would have to walk this path to wherever it would take him, and each step would be made with honor.
Every action changes us. Isn’t that life’s plan? I’m the result of my experiences. He licked the salt off of his lips. I am not at the mercy of any issue. The hurdle is my choice. “Life and learning are a salad bar,” his granddad had always said. “Take what works for you and leave the rest. It’s all fuel for your learning. No regrets.”
As he gained the beach, he looked around. Granddad was right. Where else would I want to be? Only here. Coronado was home.
He walked the familiar path to the parking lot. Somehow, he felt lighter as if he was meant to be on this journey. He’d rather know the depth and breadth of an issue than to stay in the dark. Living in the shadows and working in the inky night might be his gig, yet there were times he needed to be able to walk in the daylight and see everything the brightness revealed.
He reached and entered his car. Flipping his phone open, he dialed Laurie. She had become more than a means to an end; there was something extra special about his lady, especially as she helped him find the truth. He just could not let go of her and whatever was happening between them.
Laurie answered her cell phone on the first ring. “Hello? Jack? I was just thinking about you.” There was a smile in her voice, and he felt his lips rising to mimic her mood.
“Hi, Laurie. Would you like to have dinner? Nothing too fancy, but good grub. Can you meet me now at the Hotel del Coronado for a steak? Or, would you rather go to the Coronado Boathouse? Whatever we do, I’m craving a steak.”
“Sure. Let’s do the Boathouse. I love sitting outside and throwing bread to the ducks,” she agreed with a laugh. “I can be there at five. That’s seventeen hundred, super SEAL.”
“Great! I have a lot to tell you,” he said before he closed his phone. He’d be able to grab his gear and get a hard weight-lifting workout in at the gym before he hit the shower.
Scratching his chin, he felt the stubble. Not as dire as Gich’s woolly mammoth whiskers but sharp enough that he didn’t want to damage Laurie’s soft skin. Crap, did he have the right clothes for a date with his very sexy lady? Damn, I am a blessed man! Guess that workout is going to have to be quick.
***
A dozen peach-colored roses wrapped in white paper were sitting on the table. Their reflection in the antique glass made them look like part of the Coronado Boathouse’s design.
He checked his watch for the tenth time. She was late. Point Loma to Coronado was not very far, though the I-5 freeway and bridge traffic could be terrible if the Naval Air Station North Island base was changing shifts. A ten-minute drive could turn into an hour in a blink of the eye. She’s a local. She would have compensated for that.
A 1967 Mustang pulled into the parking lot with a screech, and Laurie waved at him from behind the wheel. She was wearing a skin-tight red dress, he noticed right away.
God, she’s gorgeous. He had an urge to kiss her immediately.
Laurie moved toward him, all sensual movements and curves. The spiked heels made her legs look even longer and that hearty appetite he had for steak began to morph into another kind of primal hunger.
She obviously knew the layout, because she took the side path that brought her directly to his table on the outside deck.
“You look amazing. I’d stand, but, uh, it might embarrass us both,” he said with a hint of discomfort in his voice. “Crap! I feel like a schoolkid who’s just gotten his first boner.”
Laurie laughed and seated herself across from him. “Do we play spin the bottle first or go hide in your parents’ game room and neck?”
“I’ll vote for the necking, but after we eat. I need refueling.” He took a sip of water. “After dinner, I’d like to stop by my place, before we go to yours.”
“What’s wrong with staying at yours? Is there a live-in girlfriend you don’t want me to meet?” She poked at him and her expression said she enjoyed the banter. “Of course, if there’s a wife, then I completely understand. There isn’t, is there?” Worry crossed her eyes. “You’re not that type are you?”
“What type?” he inquired angelically.
“All cock and no depth,” she mouthed in a whisper so the neighboring tables wouldn’t hear.
He smiled at her. “I’m not married. When I give my word in terms of loyalty and fidelity, I keep it.”
“Yes, I believe you would. I’ve been the recipient of your undivided attention, and I can happily say I like it.” She took a sip of water.
“Damn, you only like it! I need to do better.” Leaning over the table, he whispered back, “I’ll make it my mission to knock your panties off.”
“I’m not wearing any,” she confessed, with a blush rising up her neck to cover her cheeks.
“I need some ice water.” Jack gestured for the waiter.
They both ordered steak, potatoes, and broccoli. Foregoing dessert, they lin
gered over coffee and threw chunks of bread to the ducks and birds hanging out on the railing and in the water just a few feet from the boathouse.
Laurie had been quiet during dinner, listening to him. She seemed preoccupied by something.
“Is there something bothering you?” he asked.
She nodded. Putting her hands on the table, palm up, she said, “I owe you an apology. When you woke up and were standing at the door, I realized how little I am equipped to deal with your PTSD. I think you should talk to the specialists about it.” The tension drained from her face as she spoke. “I hope you can forgive me for saying this. I just, uh, don’t want to be the person who misses an important sign or lets you down.”
“Laurie, you’re better than you give yourself credit for. Now, if you’re ditching me, I won’t forgive you.” He leaned forward. “But if you really feel you’re in over your head, I honor the courage it took to speak up. Just know, Laurie, I have retained everything we talked about, and more details have fallen into place. What we’re doing is working. Please. I need you to keep helping me. Be with me.”
“It’s working because you’re relaxed, Jack. Getting laid and doing extra nice things for your mind and body opened those floodgates. I didn’t do anything special.” She toyed with her napkin.
“Look at me.” Their eyes locked together. “You’re important, Laurie. I couldn’t have done this without you. Sex with just anyone wouldn’t have brought me happiness or given me my memories back. It’s you, Laurie. You’re walking next to me, taking this journey alongside me, and you and your dedication are making all the difference.
“You’ve been around the Teams long enough to know each member is only as strong as their Teammate.” He took a long drink of water, leaving fingerprints in the condensation to decorate the glass. “If there had been problems, I would have let you know immediately. With you, I don’t hold stuff in. I say it exactly as I see it. Might not be a popular way to handle life, but I like honesty and a challenge.”
“Me, too,” she replied, heat flushing her face. Pleasure lingered in her eyes. “And I want to get to know you better. Can we talk like two people on a regular date?”
Jack nodded. “I’d like that. Let’s forget about missions and memory loss for a night.”
***
“You really like the movie Evolution? Me, too!” They both laughed. Jack liked learning that they had more in common, and it felt good spending time together.
He wiped his mouth with his napkin. The dinner had been outstanding. The food melted in his mouth and the company was great. Later on, this luscious lady was going to be his dessert.
“Are you ready to leave?” he asked.
She smiled. “Yes…well, no. One more question. The minute I saw you I was drawn to you.” Laurie laughed. She lowered her gaze to the table where she fiddled with a fork, then finally placed it aside. She raised her head, locked her wandering fingers in her lap, and looked him in the eye. “What changed for you? What made you take that leap to get know me better?”
Her vulnerability was clear in her gaze.
Oh, crap! That was something he definitely did not have an easy answer for. He sighed. “I felt you could help me, and my instincts told me that you were special, besides being killer in the sack.”
The horror on her face was instantaneous and intense. God, he was terrible at fancy talk! His lady had gone from charming and happy to downright furious in the space of a heartbeat. He guessed most women had that button somewhere in them. This was one of the reasons he didn’t date and relationships didn’t last for him. He sucked at the male/female social etiquette interaction.
Laurie’s tone was frosty. “Gee, should I thank you for calling me the ‘Fuck of the Day’ or be excited that you want to ‘use’ me to get better?”
Help! Why can’t women come with instructions? Why isn’t there a speed-dial service for this eventuality? He sighed; he really did not want to screw this up! “I really like you, Laurie. In every way…” Shit! “I don’t know how to say the right words to fix this.”
“I didn’t know it was that hard to be with me. That you had to find the ‘right’ phrase to get me back into your bed and fixing your shit.” She pushed away from the table and stood. “Thank you for dinner, though I guess that’s my pay for all the good work I’ve done.” Shaking her head at him, she looked so disillusioned.
“Laurie.” He couldn’t let her leave this way. Grabbing her wrist as she passed, he tugged her to a halt. “C’mon. Give me a chance. Don’t fly off the handle because I’m not a sweet-talker. Wouldn’t you rather have a man who’s honest, even if he isn’t smooth and full of it?”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I know the difference between those two types. I’m listening.”
“I’m an idiot, miserable at explaining myself. I want to be completely honest with you. I’ve never… You make me feel like no one else has. I have strong feelings for you. Emotions I’ve never had with anyone else. Shit! I don’t play games—just give me a break here.” He mustered his best sense of apology.
She didn’t break his hold and run away. Of course, she didn’t sit either. The fact she was still standing there was a good sign. Her voice sounded more neutral. “Go on.”
He took a deep breath and gave it his best shot. “My relationships have always been miserable from the second date on, so I don’t have them. The night I saw you, that first moment, something about you… your energy drew me to you. The chemistry was electric. Again, no female has ever captivated me like that. Then when I went to you for help, you listened to me—gave my apology a fair hearing—and did it with kindness and generosity. You’re special, Laurie. There is a readiness and easiness about you. I mean, there is something amazing about being with you… that I respect and enjoy. Shit! Why isn’t this talking stuff hard for you, too?”
Her lips turned up gently at the corners. “It is. I get it.” Her hand touched his cheek. “Thank you.”
She sat back down at the table. She still clutched her purse tightly as if she was ready to escape at a second’s notice if need be, though her features had softened. He supposed the male equivalent was a guy holding his car keys. If he’s flicking them or jingling them, get out of his way. If he’s grasping them loosely, it means the chances of his staying are sixty-forty.
“Yes, it’s hard for me, too. I’m glad you bought me peach roses instead of the don’t-divorce-me special. Though, it is a pretty bouquet.” Laurie laughed. He couldn’t believe the woman had the audacity to speak those words and chuckle. Where the hell were his keys?
“Remind me never to date a military brat again. I won’t be able to slip anything past you, will I?” He drank more of his water. “Come on, share your experience.”
Sighing, she said, “Yep, I’m aware. My dad used the flower trick on many live-in type girlfriends. Also, it’s hard being the person waiting for a military family member to come home. Add in the fact my former boyfriends have not treated me well and the cards are greatly stacked against the next man I choose. Sorry to admit it, but it’s the truth.” Her eyes held his in a steady gaze.
“I’m not one of those idiots.” He rushed to say the words he knew she needed to hear. The good part was, it was the truth. “I respect you, Laurie, and I like you… a lot.”
“Thanks.” She fingered the stem of her wineglass. “I like you, too.” She couldn’t seem to get the words out and then finally they fell off her tongue. “The problem is, I should treat you and not have sex with you.”
“The fact you can’t keep your hands off me, and vice versa, sounds like a hard problem.” He winked at her and then finished with a grin of pure male satisfaction.
“Yeah, yeah, thanks for teasing me on such a sensitive topic.” She grinned back at him and placed her purse on the table next to her empty dinner plate. Her shoulders relaxed as she sat back in the chair. Was it greedy of him to want both her body and her mind? Those were two of the assets that made the duet of a perfect woman.
“Okay, you’re fired! Now, would you like to order some dessert?” he asked.
She laughed. “Gee, thanks, that helps a lot. No on dessert; I’d rather enjoy a walk.” He took her hand and held it, his fingers toying with her fingers. Her smooth hand laced into his. Both of them squeezed tight. God, he had to have her.
“Do you think I’d let you go that easily?”
“Unlikely. But I’m not forgiving you that quickly, either. At the bar you jumped to conclusions, and just now, too, with this whole ‘lack of communication’ business. You have to speak to me, make everything crystal clear and clean. Got it?” Her tone brooked no argument. Either he agreed or they parted ways. “I won’t sit here and keep track of fuckups, because I don’t believe in that, but I will call you on your crap.”
He laughed as she gave him a glare. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m chuckling over something my swim buddy said about women—the right one will have you toeing the line so tight it feels good, and the experience will be mutual.” He knew there was fire dancing in his eyes. He’d put all of his emotion and desire into that one look. For better or worse, this was who he was—a passionate guy with a dedication to duty.
She bit her lip for a few seconds and then finally admitted, “Unfortunately, it is. You’ve been yanking my strings as much as I yank yours. I guess we’re evenly matched. But what are we supposed to do about the double-edged sword—your quest for answers and my need to rip your clothes off?”
“Ms. Smith, let’s go tour my apartment. I’ll show you my stellar dedication to making sure that no pleasure goes unexplored.” He smiled, allowing the wickedness of the promise to tease her. “What’s your answer for Red Jack?”
“Why, Petty Officer First Class Roaker, I do believe I’m owed some pay. Maybe I’ll allow you to, uh, take it out in trade.” She winked at him.
“What I’d like to know is—”
A SEAL at Heart Page 12
